its a passion to be conquered
this simple fact holds so much undecided truth
a reason to give it my all and break down your uncertainty
why fight for something that was never mine to keep?
a whisper in the night was never a reason to believe.
you read my words like this is some kind of game.
chose your actions sloppy and maybe tonight will turn to day.
the sound of a breaking core never tasted this sweet
if only i could speak the words that everyone is wanting to say.
maybe then i would feel ok enough to eat.
a year on me is more than i could expect
dont think highly of who i am -
you'll soon realize how unworthy i've become.
im nothing to everyone, and yet something to myself.
wonder why i listen so carefully when the deed is done?
why should i sit and ponder over something that will never be good enough to just be?
a whisper in the night was never a reason to believe.
you're choking down my body just to puke out the seeds.
im a sickness in your backbone
a intense chunk of nothing that will never be good enough to see.
the white sky clears as you become missing
a feeling to fake to become and emotion
a black dot on my wrist where the needle's missing
an empty spot in my core where she escaped my shaky grasp.
so why should i fight for someone who feels like shit around me?
a whisper in the night was never a reason to believe
im growing up thinking i am everything to realize how small i really am
i believed in everything you said to me.
but now i can finally say im truely escaping your vanity.
you wiil always be my whisper in the night
but that is no reason to believe
so this is my canvas? stretched skin thats so stained its useless. i look in the mirror and i dont even see myself anymore. i've become a whore.
is this what im feeling? all my thoughts could be mistaken for emotions if it wasnt for you. i dont understand how someone could be so selfish. so insecure.
sheets have been stained with your words, and dented with the pressure of my back. my body has been soiled with filth. im fitlh. when hes looking through your drawer he sees the things he tends to ignore. why cant everyone be happy with what they've received? me.
dont look back to see if im still following. i'll never let go of your waist. i've grown tired of searching for something - that ive settled for nothing. im a worthless emotion that you use as a risk. no one ever asked if my feelings were legit.
please, dont worry about little ol' me. im really not as sad as you all may think. its a five star act that ive produced over the years. a worthless piece of shit does cause these tears.
so take a look at all that ive become. im the rug under your feet; the taste at the back of your tongue. you'll call me when you want to disappear, but until then i sit here. covered in tears.
bricks on my chest. tears eat at the back of my eyes. hate rolls off my bleeding tongue. is it really this hard? is all of this worth keeping my pride? i've grown tired of thinking thoughts that get me nothing but blood stained skin. i hate that im not good enough and yet i love the bitter taste. to them i am just another lie. someone to absorb the gossip when not in sight. im tired of all the fucking secrets, and yet i love the decetful taste. at one time it was wrong of her, but now lets weep for the poor little bitch. friendships have grown old with lies - rusted with my salty tears and those left behind. my pale innocent skin - now stained with old blood - burns for you. im tired of pretending that im ok, and putting on this pathetic smile for the sake of you. i do not love you anymore. love is nothing without trust, and i have no trust left in you. but i suck it up. hide my tears - my bloody sheets - my scars - my hate, and i put on this fake smile just so i wont hurt you like you've done to me. this lullaby has grown tired: i hate him for you' you love him for me. im not as naive and happy as you all may think. i wish i were - it would feel much better than this. ignorance really is bliss.
my broken hearted song
(this one is rather ... gay)
im on this road to paradise ... an escape from you and all the pain you've been putting me through ... i have 13 bucks in my pocket, and even less in my account ... but today that doesnt bring me down ... i'll drive my car down to empty ... then wallow in my mistake ... my beautiful mistake ... my musics screaming at me to turn around ... go back to my artistic heartache ... forget paradise (theres no such thing) ... but im tired of all the broken hearted cries .. all the sad songs made by us ... so here i am again, following my heart ... the thing that brought me here in the begining ... the wind is in my hair .. whispering ghostly sonnets ... i'll find my way ... i guess i guess ... i'll turn away
.... 13 bucks can get me farther away from you than my thoughts ever will ... here i am again .. simply wandering in this sad broken hearted song ... but now its my strength. not my anthem.
(i have had writters block lately so this is rather shitty.)
do you remember that night we sat dizzy in your room? the air was cool on my bare skin. the sun was trying to shine through the darkness - reminding everyone that they had to wake to another god damn day. intoxicated thoughts escaped our lips and before i knew it i was confessing my thoughts to you. you sat there and laughed. took them all as jokes. as your lips graced my skin i began to feel regret settle in. how could you sit there and make me feel so small? everything i see in you brings me to my knees. breath so short. a mouth full os disgrace. tears crash to the floor so heavy the ground shakes, but still you dont look up. your eyes are always looking past me. trying to find someone to fill in my missing spaces. everything i hate in you puts me on my back again. pressure on my hips. im leaning to the left of lust, and hiding from your stare.
now everything is complicated. late night phone calls bring a sweet bitterness to my tone. you take my pauses as an excuse to add yet another "im sorry"
you sealed my feelings with a thrust, and i clung to you like a child.
all these letters from you light up the streets with words. lies and promises you used to make me feel unworthy paint the sky ................
im not sure how to end this one.