Fear  
by Janet Lee

from
The Road to Integrity

www.JanetLee.net


Why is everyone so scared of fear? The talk is always about �getting past our fears�, �being the master of our fears�, �replacing them with love�, doing everything we possibly can to eliminate fear from our lives. Why?

Fear is our body and mind�s way of forcing us to know something is not right, something needing our attention. Fear is a wonderful trigger for our growth and future happiness.

It is a natural and very important survival instinct, the fight and flight response that reacts with surges of adrenaline during times of crisis. Without this man would not survive. We need this on hand rush of energy to give us required courage and stamina, it is a magnificent by product of the human condition.

What went wrong with our fear mechanism, for it seems many have heightened fear responses that kick in during times it is definitely not required? Why do some shake in terror at the mere thought of going to the dentist, or confronting another, or even being out in public? Are people becoming more fearful over the decades, or is it merely that we are more aware of what doesn�t feel good generally? Or perhaps our lives are demanding more of us, forcing us to face new experiences and the unknown more frequently?

Uncontrolled fear stops us doing something by sending a clear message that it is either dangerous, we cant do it, it will be an awful experience, or the unknown, we don�t belong, wont be provided for, or it will be a repeat of past experiences.

Every thought, every belief, every emotion and every action has a profound and definite impact on our physical bodies. Fears are no exception to that so cannot be discounted. How many times have we not felt fearful, or been able to force our fears into the back of our minds, yet we break out in a rash, or develop a cold or some other illness. This is discussed in detail in a later chapter on well being.

Lets take a back step and go over the fear response itself. Anxiety and fear are closely related so I include them together. A wise psychologist explained this to me once as a means of comprehending anxiety and panic attacks, creating the situation of self-empowerment and control. For it is this lack of feeling in control that feeds and allows the anxiety/fear to build.

By drawing a simple diagram it becomes easy to see the fear response mechanism. We each have a base anxiety/fear level so we will put a small horizontal � just above the bottom of a page. This marking is our natural resting-place for anxiety/fear levels. When we encounter a fear the level rises, depending on how strong the fear, so we will put another small horizontal � 1/3 up the page. Now it gets interesting, for it is how we react at this point that determines what happens to our base anxiety/fear level. If the fear is so strong as to make us undertake actions to avoid the trigger, like removing ourselves from the stimuli, escaping, our fear levels do decrease but at a slow rate, but our anxiety/fear level does not go back down to its natural resting place. So we will draw another small horizontal � between the other 2.

This is the cycle. This new level � becomes our carried forward base anxiety/fear level and everything begins from this point. If we continued this demonstration we could see how each time we encounter a strong fear and subsequently escape its stimuli by using the flight response, our generally held onto level of fear and anxiety gradually gets higher and higher. Therefore the fear we experience each time during situations becomes heightened at a much faster rate.

The natural process of fear responses is quite different. Again we begin with a base level of anxiety/fear, and encounter an event that creates the fear response. Yet if we do not go into the flight response, instead staying with the situation and riding it through, it will peak at a very safe level, then automatically return right down to the original base level. I must speak on this peak, for feeling the fear of a stimuli is not the only consideration, we also feel the fear of the fear reaction. Our response to the fear is in itself very frightening and exaggerates the whole event. Human fear responses have a built in maximum peak level and will plateau when reached, although when we are in the midst of experiencing great fear we feel it will keep rising so want to escape. Knowing it will not go past a safe peak enables us the strength to stay and ride it through, knowing it will plateau and reduce as a natural psychological occurrence. No matter how strong the fear stimuli, the level of fear is not physically able to keep rising without end, it will peak, plateau then reduce.

We can reverse the built up anxiety/fear levels we have produced in ourselves by following this process. It is not an instant fix and will take some conscious effort and determination to gradually bring the base level of anxiety/fear back down to its proper natural resting-place. I personally found, following this process eliminated my anxiety and panic attacks within 3 weeks.

As I have said, feeling the fear response is a lifesaving natural response for survival. Yet many of our fears have no basis on nor necessitate such drastic responses. What is it we are afraid of, and why? What is the purpose, if any of non-life threatening fears?

When we speak of fears, they can be anything from animals, closed spaces, social situations, or self-beliefs. They can be conscious (aware) and sub conscious (not aware), yet we will react to them just as often and strongly. The range of fears and triggers initiating original fear beliefs are as diverse as the people experiencing them, therefore the following examples are merely that, examples hoped to prompt and encourage you thinking about your own fears and the reasons behind them. It is by no means exclusive, nor does it imply that fears may only fall under one category. 3 categories will be discussed; memories, self and ego.

Memories

The memory category covers all fears that are related to specific objects or events, we are scared of repeating past negative experiences, or we have taken on a fear belief because of a frightening concurrent experience.

Frights may come from unexpected shocks, loud noises, being lost, hearing an unknown noise, not understanding an event, being hurt, others fears, being trapped in a situation where the child had no control (locked in a cupboard, teased, abused). There are many variations of what triggered the initial fear to such magnitude, it was decided this object/event is to be avoided and feared.

Sometimes we have taken on a fear belief because of a frightening concurrent experience. This type of fear is just as real and profound, even though the fear object may never have actually done anything to scare us. For example; one could be scared of dogs because the scream �don�t go near the dog, it will bite you!!� was so unexpected and frightening it created a referred fear belief.

Basic fears found in this category include:
Thunderstorms, lightening, dogs, water, boats, sleep, darkness, being alone, illness, doctors, dentists, abandonment, dark, closed in places � claustrophobia, not being in control, life, panic attacks, anxiety.

We all encounter experiences ranging in intensity that we wish never happened in our lives. Dependent on the personality, perceptions and situation, individuals are sometimes so impressed by the incident a definite decision is made. This event is not to be repeated, it is to be avoided at all cost, this event ranks a 10 out of 10 in fear ratings. Remember that associating fear to a situation is a guaranteed way for it to be automatically avoided. A new belief has been taken on so this decision is filed away in the subconscious.

The situations may involve others actions towards us such as in the case of loss of a loved one (the parent left, does not matter they died and had no choice in the matter) or teasing. Or perhaps actions of ours that created strong repercussions like not caring for an animal and it dying, or failing to be of help to someone who relied on us. Or a situation may have merely led to events we found too uncomfortable to accept. Whatever the reason, various specific events have triggered this fear belief inception.

Basic fears found in this category include:
Guilt, life, success, failures, loss of loved ones or possessions, not completing, social phobias.

Self

The self-category covers a range of issues all relating to the person we are, how we fit into this world and are accepted by society. It is far too broad to cover in real detail.

If we don�t believe we are special we can become very insecure. Creating situation after situation to feed our negative belief of self. Fears of this nature are often very noticeable.

Basic fears found in this category include:
Scared of who we actually are, of being alone, invisible, unknown, unloved, unrecognized, misunderstood, ill, loss of control, facing situations or people (often the results from negative situations our fear responses have created).

People with low self-esteem create many fears, both of not being good enough and to prevent them having to test their belief of not being good enough. For example; one may want to establish their own business which they are more than capable and skilled to do. Their lack of self-esteem may cause them to avoid the activities required in establishing and running the business, because they cannot bring themselves to physically do them. This prevents any possible business success, and of failure being taken as a reflection of self. Fear of all activities relating to proving themselves are strong in this category, as it is in opposition to their belief.

This section would include:
All activities required in organizing daily living, self rights, activities, business, personal skills/achievements, social activities (social phobias), success, failure, not completing.

Another self-issue is where we each fit into or belong in this living experience. If we have low self worth added fears might make it more difficult to become part of living, survival and understanding self. If one does not feel connected to family, community, the world, life, almost everything can become a fear.

Examples of this section include:
That we are not real, that this living is merely a dream, that we have no part in life, death, living, god and his place in our world, loss, personal safety, being cared and provided for, surviving.

Ego

My belief is that we are a spirit undertaking a physical experience and feelings can broadly be divided into 2 categories. Fears from our mind and ego, and love from spirit. Anything that is not based on loved is believed to be fear related.

Ego is covered in great detail within another chapter, but mentioned here because ego not only creates and holds onto our fears, but also perpetuates them. Ego self is often as a child, a scared child, fearful of being rejected and abandoned as we no longer need ego�s fears.

It is this mind-based fear belonging to ego that creates a battle between it and our inner knowing (spirit), for control of our person. We often find that as we progress with our healing and journey of self-discovery, we seem to experience more fears. Some due to issues being �stirred up� in readiness for learning, but others as a ploy for ego to keep us fear bound where it is difficult to accomplish any growth. We can find ourselves experiencing fear for its own sake, of nothing in particular, but of everything. Like the door has been opened and all our fears are rushing out to show themselves. A cycle of fear for fears sake.

When we appreciate this fully, we are then able to stay consciously aware and take appropriate measures to combat. Dispelling ego�s unnecessary fear of us abandoning it for we never will.

Before continuing on, it is important to also consider the relevance of conscious versus subconscious fears. Rarely is the conscious reason you think causes the fear, the actual base (subconscious) belief/reason for it. You may have read this chapter so far and said to yourself, no they do not apply to me, or that�s silly, but the fact is fears are related to negative beliefs we have each taken on in our subconscious. Discussing the various types of fears is only to inform you, not as a basis guide for which fears to work on.

You will find that as you heal say your base self-confidence beliefs, through work on your subconscious, the associated fears will reduce naturally. We may know something very well (conscious), but unless we believe it from deep within (subconscious), it means nothing to us. Therefore we may wish and want and attempt as hard as we can to eliminate our fears with words and affirmations and mind power (conscious), but unless we reach the place where those fears are stored (subconscious) I have found success is limited and incredibly slow.

Now lets take a look at how fears show themselves to us. This can be very obvious as in the case of fear of dogs, where the person might shake, become flushed and feel quite ill, physically and emotionally feeling as that young child who took on the original fear. Or they may be totally hidden from our conscious perceptions where we may undertake behaviors seemingly foreign and strange even to ourselves. Behaviors that build our low self-concepts because we feel as a failure or watch in horror the things we do.

Say a person has a base subconscious fear of confrontations, the reason for the original inception of this fear is not relevant at this time. Such a fear is likely to be both subtly obvious and totally hidden as they go about their days. An enormous amount of our living activities can be classified as confrontations; everything involving us approaching another human being, whether for pleasure, business or what we usually comprehend confrontations to be. For the person with this fear, life is incredibly scary. To return an item to the store, to undertake any actions involving self rights, to speak out within a group, to even telephone the gas company for an extension of payment date, reporting a problem to a landlord, every situation where this person is required to face another person. So perhaps avoidance may become the escape; putting off ringing for a gas extension, not reporting a leaking pipe to the landlord, missing appointments. Each time something is avoided the situation becomes worse and rectifying the situation through confrontation more difficult. You can now begin to see the cycle of fear and reaction situations, how they can build on each other. Amenities being disconnected, damaged apartments, unnecessary illness, the list is extensive.

The person with this confrontation fear may outwardly appear quite confident and happy, yet they become increasingly depressed within, continually building self concepts of dislike and reproach as they feel self as such a failure. They also face much hardship and lead unhappy lives, created by their avoidance of confrontations. Perhaps they have no concept of being scared of confrontations, no idea why they react and behave so strangely. Each time a confrontation looms they revert emotionally and physically back to the age of the fear belief inception. So if it was a 5 year old who took on this belief, their responses to the fear are based on a 5 year olds perceptions and reactions. A very sad situation for any grown man or woman.

What of a person with a social phobia fear, their lives are equally miserable. Having to force themselves to participate in social situations, actually feel as if they will survive the situation, watching their own inadequacies, blaming self, being subjected to others reactions of their anti social behavior.

Fears can indeed make our lives miserable. When I look at fears I simply divide behaviors into 2 groups for simplicity, then it is easy to become aware. What we are comfortable with and what are we not comfortable with, for everything in our lives. Everything we are not comfortable with I use as a signal, a trigger of another issue. Something is not right.

I have spoken much on the reasons behind fears, their effects and the sadness fears bring into our lives. This was merely to lay groundwork for your thinking and deeper understanding of this very important part of who you are. As I said in the beginning of this chapter, fear is our body and mind�s way of forcing us to know something is not right, something needing our attention. Fear is a wonderful trigger for our growth and future happiness. How you might say?

We are each undertaking a magical journey of self-discovery, of growth and learning. So what better prompt could there be than fear to highlight issues for our work. Fear is one of those very special parts of the human condition, one that�s sole purpose is for our greater good.

Embrace your fears and welcome them. For they are you're very special way, your determination and want to grow.