Never Again 4

Thoughts of Treize filled Zechs' mind as he snagged a plate laden with some food he wouldn't have cared about if the world were about to end and it was his last meal. He wasn't even vaguely choosy about what it was he grabbed, because he knew he'd simply pick at it and not really eat much -- if at all. But he was sure to snatch up a cup of coffee, and a small container of half-and-half.

Zechs admitted that he wasn't quiet at ease with the fact that he had been thinking of Treize so often of late. Usually, he was thinking about Mechs, or revenge for his Federation slaughtered family, but… Things had been very quiet lately. So quiet that the Rommafeller Organisation had thought it safe to hold a gala event, planned for the evening; that was why there was an inspection of the new recruits. After the inspection, there was some sort of performance for the assorted classes of soldiery, then all the nobles of the Federation and the Oz Elite attended a ball and banquet. There had been very little time of late to brood on revenge.

He handed the cashier money for the food his knew he wouldn't touch and the coffee he dearly needed at that moment, and turned away from the man, telling him to keep the change. The cashier wasn't about to argue his luck at having been given far more money than the food and coffee cost.

Casting about for an empty booth, he caught sight of the top of Noin's head. The short purple-black locks were unconditionally unmistakable. /Oh well. Since apparently there are no free booths… She's a friend, at least,/ his mind sighed, as he picked his way through the crowd, which virtually parted like opening gates to let the sombre masked Specials officer through.

On one side of the booth, Noin sat picking boredly at a bowl of pasta; across from her, lady Une was sipping at a cup of tea. Zechs raised an eyebrow -- it was very strange to see her here, let alone with Noin. They were talking, and Zechs decided to act like he didn't notice so he wouldn't have to wait for a pause to sit down.

"Can I sit here?" he asked Noin, brashly interrupting their conversation. /It's not like they'd talk about anything really important. Not here./

Noin brightened when she looked upon Zechs, and nodded, smiling softly. It was no secret to anyone that she was attracted to him. "Oh, of course you can, Zechs; as long as you don't mind dulling female talk. We just arrived here ourselves, and there's some catching up I've to do… Une, do you mind Zechs' joining us?"

Une took a sip off her cup, and shook her head. "I do not mind. Captain Zechs, Perhaps you can later be of help to me concerning a problem."

Noin moved over on the seat, and Zechs slid in beside her. "I can try," he replied at length, wishing he hadn't said it at all. He had simply wanted to relax some, get a little time to sort out his thoughts. Lately it had been getting worse and worse to have to spend time with Treize, and that scene in his office had to be the climax to it. Not that he minded having Treize beneath him like that… those sounds, such soft skin… But to be so close to what he wanted -- and yet so far… Soon, he'd either have to risk telling Treize of what he felt, or… or…

What else was there for him to do? He could see no other route for him to take. Of course, he could always _not_ tell Treize, but… Zechs grimaced. He'd be miserable with things continuing as they were. And no one would know, because he could fall asleep behind his mask, and none would be any wiser to it.

That thought brought him back to reality as he realised that there were two people nearby talking, and that his coffee was getting cold. He looked down at it, opening up and pouring in the half-and-half as he dragged his mind from the realm of self pity, and concentrated on Noin and Une's conversation.

It is _always_ strange to begin listening at mid conversation.

"Oh, gods!" Noin exclaimed softly. "I'm so happy for the two of you, Une! I can't believe that plan of yours worked!" Truly, she was amazed that such a far-fetched idea had worked. /Maybe I will try that on Zechs… No, I'd rather not. Une has nerve and desperation that I don't. Zechs' has everything... those eyes… and that hair…/ She sighed. /I simply can't believe that she finally managed to snag Treize… He's so closed off from the world… Distances himself from everything…/

"It did, and then again, it didn't," Une murmured sadly. Zechs looked at her, and noticed that her hair was down, and that her gold-rimmed glasses lay folded on the table. He returned his attention to his cooled coffee, stirring it a little.

Noin furrowed her brow as she looked at Une. "How?" she asked. "I mean, how can a strategy like that 'work and not work'? You were in his bed when he came into the room, right?"

"Yes," Une nodded. "He was drunk."

Zechs nearly choked on his coffee, and hastily lowered it from his lips, setting the cup on the table. Thankfully, Noin didn't notice. /She's talking about Treize… He was drunk, and I left him in his rooms… That's what happened to him… Gods…/ He began to wonder how Treize received those cuts, but his mind stopped as it found that line too disturbing. /I can't believe I ever thought I had a chance with him…/ Zechs scowled to himself. /He and Une are a verified, irrefutable couple./

"Ah." A pause. "So, he couldn't--"

"No," Une corrected softly while looking down into her cup of tea, "he wouldn't. He eventually did, but… I forced him, and he truly didn't want to." She set her cup on the table, eyes closing. "I think… I think I pushed him too far. I became carried away and used my nails… He fought me, but I was swept up, and…" Une covered her face with her hands. "Noin, I raped Lord Treize."

Zechs swallowed hard. /That's why he…/ Suddenly, everything began to make sense to him.

~Slim, yet unexpectedly strong fingers close over his wrist. Zechs looked up at Treize's placid face. "Do not, Mirialdo," Treize murmured, cultured tenor holding a melancholic edge.~

The pained look on Treize's face… his quietness… He'd been hiding shame. Shame caused by Lady Une forcing him to be with her, not…

Zechs suddenly felt relieved. Not relieved at what Treize had suffered through at Une's hands, but to know that Treize and Une were not the couple that he had thought they undeniably were.

Noin dropped her fork. It met the porcelain with a clatter. "Are you serious?" she asked incredulously. Une nodded slightly, pinching the bridge of her nose with one hand -- she was obviously trying to stop from crying. "Une, he's a man. I don't think it's possible for a woman to--"

Une sighed softly. "Noin, you simply don't understand what happened. He… I forced myself on him. To the utmost sense of the word. He didn't want to have a thing to do with me. He… pleaded with me to stop. I've never seen him beg before. Even when we were… were…" She searched for a way to say something that was so personal. "He wasn't with me. Those bright eyes shut tight, still trying to get away… But he was drunk, could barely walk…" A grief-filled sob escaped Une.

Noin thought for a moment. "Une, he's a very forgiving person. Do you think it was the alcohol that made him like that? Maybe now, under normal circumstances, he'd respond to you better…"

"Noin, I don't think I will try again. I didn't enjoy myself." Noin raised a brow. "When we… he… he moaned someone else's name."

"Who?" Noin asked. /So I enjoy a little dose of melodrama every once in a while… Everyone does… Nothing at all wrong with that./

Une sighed, finishing off her tea. "I don't know. But it was the look in his eyes -- when he finally opened them -- that ruined it for me. He looked like he was disgusted -- with both me and himself. I'd really like to know who this 'Miria' per-- "

The coffee finally succeeded in its attempts to harm Zechs. At the knowledge that Treize had moaned 'Miria', he choked, lungs burning as some of the luke-warm liquid went down the wrong line. He felt a hand hitting him gently on the back while he coughed.

"Gods, Zechs, are you alright?" Noin asked concernedly, hitting him on the back.

Zechs managed to get some air into his lungs, and choked out "Fine." More fitful coughing followed, until his lungs had nearly cleared of the muddy liquid.

/He reacted to the name Une mentioned,/ Noin noted. "What happened?" she asked.

"Nothing," Zechs murmured furtively. "I just choked." /There has to be an explanation for it… Miria…/ He racked his mind for a similar name. /It cannot be me… Can it?/ Finally, his mind clicked with a similar name to that, one which wasn't the first half of his. Not that he wasn't overjoyed at this revelation, but… Treize simply wasn't like that, no matter what coincidences he tacked onto the complicated, one-sided situation.

/But… there is that one soldier… She's an Ensign. Petite, a bit brash, red hair… Miriam. I've seen him talking to her a few times lately…/ Zechs sighed inwardly. /That's who it is. Has to be. The overzealous glitter his eyes get when he's around her…/

Une was carefully watching Zechs when he looked up. "Do you know this 'Miria'?"

Zechs shrugged slightly, once more glad that he wore his mask. "Miriam. I've seen her around," he said, then added, simply on a malicious impulse: "She's really a rather nice woman." Yes, if Zechs couldn't have Treize, he would be damned and burning in hell before Une ever gained Treize's gratified attentions.

"I--I will have to take your word for it, Zechs," Une said, voice barely above a whisper. "How is he?"

Zechs looked at his cup of coffee dubiously before answering. "He is not all well, Une." /'Not well' are not the proper words for it. You've really hurt him badly, Une. Physically and… I think his mind. I've never seen him like that in my life, and I've known him far longer that you have,/ Zechs growled in his mind, wanting to say those words aloud, wanting to see what Une would do then. But he found that he was at odds with himself: such words could only make a bad situation worse.

"Ah."

/And all the bitch queen can say is 'Ah.'/ Zechs' mind muttered. /After what she did to Treize…/

Perhaps Noin sensed his unease, for she decided to change the conversation. "Zechs, are you going to listen to the band that's playing for the soldiers?"

"Band?" Zechs startled. "I've heard a little about it…" He didn't want to dash her hopes. The band itself was good -- he'd heard them play before -- but their old singer had a horrid voice, and, well, he dragged them down with him. No enthusiasm, no flare… the show had been horrid, and he had sworn to himself to never attend another concert by them unless they replaced the old vocalist. "Its 'Battallia' playing, isn't it?"

Noin nodded sadly. "Yeah. But, they've found a different singer for tonight's concert. He's supposed to be something really special. No prior experience in this sort of music, so they've been training him." Noin paused. "Are you going?"

/Treize will probably have a few hundred things to attend to before the grand function, and likely not want me there during the final preparations…/Zechs thought, then nodded slowly.

Noin turned to Une. "And, are you?"

Une sighed. "Treize… would not go to such an event. But I suppose there is no harm in attending though…" /Getting out some place without him might be a change… I doubt I will ever go anywhere with him again…/

Zechs finally finished his coffee-of-death, and looked to the clock on the wall. "If you would excuse me, I have to go handle the inspection."

~~~~

Have you ever woken up with the feeling that you should be somewhere -- anywhere other than the warm comfort of your bed -- doing something very important?

Treize had that exact feeling as he grumbled to himself sleepily, curling his body deeper into the enfolding warmth of the two heavy cloaks. And, comfortable as they were, they felt nowhere near as consoling as…

Treize shook his head slightly. /Khushrenada, it had only been a dream. Your tired mind running away with itself. Again./ But those soft lips had felt so real, as had the slightly rough chin, the strong arms, and broad chest… Treize squeezed his eyes together tightly, trying to kill the thoughts, or at least to slip back into sleep.

/Even in my dreams things do not end happily,/ Treize mused bitterly. /Such a pleasant apparition. I even managed to coax it to lay beside me… So much like him… And it would fit his personality to make such a gesture as stroking my hair…/ The Great Treize Khushrenada, Founder of the specials, and leader of the as yet unveiled -- and it would stay so for a good while longer -- Oz organisation, felt his heart twist as if someone had stabbed a knife through it. /And then he pulled away from me, telling me that he didn't want to loose my friendship, and that he feared I would not return his gesture of love… And I tried to tell him that I would… but he wouldn't hear me./ He felt his chest tighten painfully, and willed it away for the second time in hours. /Such a thing would be cowardly… Gott, what am I saying? I'm playing the coward right now./

With a small sigh, he pulled the top cloak higher up, nuzzling the soft material. It smelled like Zechs; nothing truly identifiable, but distinctly pleasant to Treize's senses. He tugged the swath of material closer to him, buried his face in it, and allowed himself to drift once more toward the comforting grasp of oblivion. He shut the voice in the back of his mind -- the one that insisted he had something important to be doing -- and awaited sleep.

Still not comfortable enough. He wanted to sleep in --

/Shut up!/ he growled to himself. /I'm going to drive myself crazy like this…/

"Gott I wish he hadn't left…" he muttered aloud, shifting his position.

~~~~

Zechs watched with hooded eyes as Treize once more curled onto his side, tugging the cloaks tighter around his body.

/I'll have to find the thermostat in this room and tamper with it,/ Zechs mused wryly. /Five degrees warmer, and Treize will be able to raise penguins in their proper environment./

Soundlessly, he strode across the floor, sitting beside Treize on the sofa. /I'll stop myself before he wakes up,/ he promised in his mind.

He tentatively curled a gloved hand against the back of Treize's head, at the base of his neck. A small sigh escaped Treize, and he arched back against that faint touch. Zechs twisted his fingers in the short golden brown as he stretched out beside the older man. Once more, Treize unconsciously fit his frame close against Zechs'. Zechs allowed him to do so, realising that it would carry on longer if he just allowed his presence to blend into Treize's dreams. With barely steady hands, Zechs stroked Treize's back, while sinewy arms came around his neck.

Treize draped himself on top of him, his position comfortable for the both of them, and buried his face in the muscled cords of Zechs' neck.

/Oh, gods… I can't believe this…/ Zechs' mind chortled happily, while he removed his gloves over Treize's back, and dropped them to the floor. /If only he would do this while awake…/ He tightened his loose hold on the young officer, and nuzzled the short tawny mane. Briefly, he wondered if Treize knew how lovely his hair was, and if he did, why he normally kept it scraped back and held in place with gel. One of his hands moved up to cup the back of Treize's head, fingers playing in the curled hair at the base of his neck.

Time passed, and Zechs didn't care how much. The whole complex could have started to flash with red lights and sirens, and he would have ignored them. Someone could have announced his real identity on the seldom-used p.a. system, and he would have ignored that too. It was the perfect philosophy for the moment -- ignore everything but the naturally elegant man who was fast asleep in his arms.

It felt so good -- so right -- to be holding Treize like that, held so close that he could feel his heart beating steadily against his chest.

/I wish that I could sleep like this in the middle of the day,/ Zechs thought while studying the placid expression on Treize's face. He frowned as the hand that was tracing idle patterns on Treize's back brushed over a spot he had bound. /He deserves this rest. Gods, Une doesn't know how close to killing her I am…/

A thin whimper rose from Treize's throat, and a shudder ran up his back. "Une… leave me…"

Zechs quickly debated the merits of saying something. Speech won, because he didn't want Treize to suffer. "She's not here, Treize. It's okay. I won't let her near you again." He noticed that his voice -- or his words -- seemed to have a soothing effect on Treize.

Treize eyes were squeezed tightly shut. "Thank you," came the murmured reply. "Don't leave me…please stay with me…"

Zechs felt like doing something rash -- crying. /He thinks he's talking to Miriam… Gods, I feel so low right now…/ "I… will not leave you," Zechs said in a tone that bespoke of promise. He closed his eyes, tightening his arms around Treize. A soft sigh passed through Treize's lips, and he nuzzled Zechs' firm chest for a moment before slipping back into oblivion, a gentle smile gracing the corners of his lips.

All the world was heaven -- until a faint beeping reached to the dark corners of his mind, shaking Zechs awake. His com. badge. He pulled a hand off Treize's back, and picked the thing up off the floor where Treize had set it earlier, and tapped it softly. "Zechs Marquise," he whispered.

"Zechs? This is Noin. Why are you using Treize's com?"

"Noin, shhh… I just came in here to check on him. He's sleeping right now. What do you want?" he asked, while slowly sliding Treize off to his side.

"Zechs, the inspection is in five minutes. If Treize-sama is asleep, then you need to be here half an hour ago," came Noin's voice, just edging on peeved. A sound of protest came from Treize as Zechs carefully worked his strong arms off from around his neck. "What was that?"

"He's starting to wake up. I've got to let you go, Noin," Zechs said, turning it off and swinging his legs off the couch. /damndamndamn… that was stupid, Zechs. Real stupid./

As he paced over to Treize's desk he noted that his uniform was now wrinkled. /Well, I wouldn't pass inspection. For once I'm glad I'm running it./ He picked a blank piece of paper up off the desk, and a half-empty pen. A quickly scrawled note, and he paced back over to Treize, setting it beside him on the sofa.

His eyes gave Treize's body one last caress, and he pulled the cloaks up around him once more, then regretfully left.