| The Stupidity of Mankind |
| Here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods..... On a Sears's Hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Damn, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.) On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. (The shoplifter special?) On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how?) On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost" (But its JUST a suggestion) On Tesco's Tiramisu Dessert (printed on bottom): Warning, do not turn upside-down. (...... Uh..) On Marks and Spencer Bread pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (As night follows day....) On packaging for a Rowena iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children cough Medicine: Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those five-year-olds with head colds of those forklifts) On Nytol sleep aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness" (One would hope..) On most brands of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to what?) On a japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm confused...) On Salisbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash) On an American Airlines pack of nuts: Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts. (Step 3: Fly Delta) On a swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals. (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) |