A Different Kind of Love

Author: Shara Nesu

Website: http://www.shara-nesu.supanet.com/

Feedback: [email protected]. Answer to a Challenge - good/bad?

Disclaimer: Joss & TV company owns them all!

Spoilers: Set in Angel Season 3 - Connor is still a baby. Otherwise None.

Category/Pairings: Guess.

Rating: NC17 Warning: M&M sex

Distribution: Want, Have, Take.

Summery: Connor cries and Angel has the answer to help him sleep.

Note: Song - I Want Love - Written by Elton John/Bernie Taupin

Angel’s POV:

I awaken with the sound of Connor crying in his white crib. It’s not long since he went to sleep, but if I don’t get up he won’t ever quieten. I stretch out my legs and they touch the cold carpeted floor. I shiver, and grab my dressing gown. Still Connor wails, demanding attention... any attention.

“Damn it, Lorne,” I mutter under my breath. Ever since the green skinned demon has been taking care of my young son, he won’t ever go to sleep now without music.

I grab the radio and turn it on. Connor shrieks at the top of his tiny lungs, demanding a bedtime song, even though he’s already had two. Lorne sang him to sleep, I sang him to sleep and now he wants another.

“Hi there,” I whisper, reaching down and touching his reddened cheek. The wailing continues almost reaching fever pitch and hurting my ears. “I know Connor. I’ll find you something to listen too, okay. Daddy’s really tired and I can’t sing anymore.”

I turn the radio up and turn the tuning knob. Suddenly, opera music fills the room and Connor’s cries increase in volume. For one so small he’s got an amazing set of lungs. I quickly change station, and find the soft strains of a waltz. Nope, even more howling... Okay, what about this.

The soft melody of Rowan Keating’s song - If Tomorrow Never Comes fills the air. After a moment or two Connor’s crying slowly diminishes but doesn’t stop. The song is around half way through and hopefully another shall follow it.

“It’s okay baby, there will be another even better song, I promise,” I whisper to my son, trying to sooth him. I rub my fingers through his soft hair but still he cries.

The song comes to an end and another immediately starts.

//I want love, but it's impossible
A man like me, so irresponsible
A man like me is dead in places
Other men feel liberated//

The music is lyrical and I recognise the voice - Sir Elton John. I smile and remember the time when I saw him wearing hats with no hair. He was in New York at the time and I lived in a dumpster. Wow, the world has changed so much for both of us since then. I’m in LA with a son, a home... and a lover.

//I can't love, shot full of holes
Don't feel nothing, I just feel cold
Don't feel nothing, just old scars
Toughening up around my heart//

I was cold and broken when he took me. He worked his way into my heart and I never even knew it. He kissed me one night and for the first time I felt alive. Other times I was dead, empty and I built a wall around me that no one could break. I put on a charade so my friends wouldn’t see the bleeding wounds. They couldn’t see how empty I was - yes - full of holes, but he did. He filled those holes.

//But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love//

Connor is quite and I sit down beside his crib as the song continues.

I can’t have human love. I tried that once and looked where it got me. Lost in ether while my body tried to kill my ex-friends and ex-lover. It was a choking love, filled with passion and desire, but it consumed us and nearly destroyed us both. With this love I’m free. I don’t have the attachments of Buffy’s hopes and dreams. This time I’m not held back, I have love and nothing more. There are no other emotional attachments. There are no strings - no needs or desires. There is living and loving.

//I want love on my own terms
After everything I've ever learned
Me, I carry too much baggage
Oh man I've seen so much traffic//

That’s right no baggage. No losing of souls or perfect happiness. No curses and evil psycho vampires turning up on the door step. No healing of past wounds, I keep my guilt and my suffering. My lover lets me search for my redemption and adds no conditions. He gives love. Yes - He.

//But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love//

The bed shifts and an arm reaches out into the dark room. I quickly check to see if Connor is sleeping. His tiny dark eyes are closed and his thumb is securely placed in his mouth. I rise to my feet and let the dressing gown drop to the floor.

“It’s empty without you,” a voice speaks from the bed. Soft and silken, promising the love I want. “Come back to me.”

//So bring it on, I've been bruised
Don't give me love that's clean and smooth
I'm ready for the rougher stuff
No sweet romance, I've had enough//

I need the love he gives me. It isn’t flowery love. It’s not romantic love. It’s true and honest, but at times it’s down right dirty love. It’s violent and hard, but above all it’s demon love. It’s demanding and brutal. It’s want I want.

“What are you going to give me if I do?” I ask huskily, my hands sliding down my chest to my swelling arousal.

“I’ll give you love, Angel-cakes.” My lover grins, and pushes the sheet aside.

“And if I don’t want love?”

“Then I’ll fuck you all night.”

Now that’s an proposition I can’t refuse.

//A man like me is dead in places
Other men feel liberated//

He doesn’t care that I’m demon. That I’m dead. That I need blood to live. Why should he? He’s demon too.

I climb onto the bed, and allow strong arms to embrace me. Green skin contrasts sharply with my pale features. Powerful fingers grasp my arms and drag me forward. Our mouths clash and I allow my face to change. He wants this. He wants this love - this demon love. My true face is never shunned. His tongue caresses my fangs, as my fingers stroke the row of horned ridges down his spine. He shivers into my embrace because I’ve learned those horns are particularly sensitive to vampire soft touches.

//But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love//

“You don’t want my love?” he asks, his fingers sliding down into my anus.

“Yes,” I moan into his mouth, my fangs breaking the soft flesh of his tongue. I taste fiery demon blood, and suck his injured muscle into my mouth.

My lover pushes me back onto the bed with a swift movement a vampire would be proud of. He raises up between my thighs, his hands pushing my legs apart. I moan with desire, and I know that this is the love I want. Love without attachments. With him I’m free. Free to touch, to feel, to want and yes to be fucked.

//I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love//

His large cock presses forward. I shiver at the sight of his demon member, wanting it to fill me. There’s no clean and smooth love making here. It’s the rougher stuff. He’s gonna hurt me, but he will heal the scars and take away the cold. His length his green with red horns, it will rip and burn, but I want his touch. He presses forward and finds my lips again.

I am a demon and this is my demon lover.

I scream as he jabs forward, his rod ripping me open. The passion of pain burns me and takes away the thoughts of romance and purity. He cries out his passion, his words rolling into one. His songs forgotten as he returns to the lowest forms of love - the grunts and moans. The song of need and want.

My clawed fingers grip his harshly; they tear at green skin and bring forth darkened blood. Blood ignites my vampire passions, making me howl and growl my need. I wail my orgasm into his ear, as he screams his own into my willing body.

This isn’t normal human love. This is a different love. This is the love I want.

“Angel-baby, I love you...” The soft words arise from my lover’s mouth as sleep finds him. Words I pretend not to hear. I need love without ties and obsessions.

I need a different love... that is the love I want... that is the love I have to have.

The end.

You did get the pairing didn’t you? Well, if not it was - Angel & Lorne.