Good morning, and welcome to this meeting of Older Brothers Anonymous. My name is Shanta, and I am a recovering older brother.

I didn’t choose to be an older brother; it just worked out that way. I was the first born, and I've always been a good boy. I am an achiever. I earned good grades in school. I went to seminary and graduate school because I wanted to be obedient to God's call. I am reliable and dependable. I show up for meetings and appointments. I do the right things; at least I try. I am an older brother.

I know this story is called the Prodigal Son. That may be all right for some of you who may identify with the younger brother -- but that's not quite enough for me. It is also the older brother's story, so it could easily be called the Miserly Son. But in the end, the story is not really about the sons at all. It is really a story about the loving and generous, may be we should say, prodigal (because prodigal means wasteful) father.

You know the story. The younger brother asks for his inheritance. It is almost like saying that he wished his father was dead already -- because that's when children are supposed to receive their inheritance, right? This is almost unbelievable, but the father decides to give it. So, the boy takes the money and goes off to a far country -- to a foreign land of Gentiles, the kind of place all Pharisees and older brothers despised. And there, he spends his inheritance on wasteful living, drinking, gambling, going to prostitutes and you name it -- he did it. At this time he has lots of friends, but when the money comes to an end the friends also disappear. In the end, all the money is gone and he has to find work. But there's a recession in the country and there are no good jobs. So, he ends up working for a hog farmer -- feeding pigs. This was, of course, a horrible thing for a Jewish boy to do, and this was as low as a person could possibly go. He was so hungry that he found himself eating the pig slop.

At that point, an amazing thing happens. He "came to himself." He remembers that at his father's house, when all the servants had finished eating they threw away food. He had treated his father as if dead and knew he no longer deserved to be his son, but nevertheless he decides to return to his father. Perhaps he could work for him as a servant--that would be way better than where he was now. So, he sets off, rehearsing in his head, the speech he was going to give to his father when he met him. He wanted to admit to the father that he had sinned, that he was not worthy to be called his son, but would he hire him as a servant.

But the father is waiting and watching for him. Even before he makes it home, the Father sees him coming down the road. He jumps up and runs out to greet the boy. He gives him a big hug. The son can barely get out his little rehearsed speech, when the father calls for a robe and a ring and tells the servants to go kill the fatted calf. We’re going to have a party, he says, because this son of mine was lost and now he is found; he was once dead, but now he's alive!

Now, we can stop there and we have a great the story -- the story of the Prodigal Son and the Waiting Father. But then we would miss the kicker -- the Jesus twist, that he would give to any story. So, let’s continue -- besides, the next part is my story and most of ours.

The older son, the good son, is dutifully working out in the fields. He returns from work tired and messy and wanting to hit the shower, but as he gets close to the house, he hears music. People are laughing. He smells steaks cooking. He asks someone what is going on, and he is told: "Your brother has come home. Your father is throwing a party."

The older brother did not take this news very well. He was angry. The way that boy had acted was disgraceful. He had just about broken the old man’s heart. Everything had been given to him and he had just squandered it all. You don’t reward that kind of behavior. I mean, you can understand the father allowing him to come back home, but a party? And so the older brother refused to go. But just as the father had run down the road to meet the younger son, he goes out to the older son. He pleads with him to come in and join the celebration. But the older brother will have nothing to do with it. "Listen!" he says, "For all these years I have worked like a slave, but you’ve never thrown a party for me. But this son of yours returns after wasting all your money on prostitutes and you kill the fatted calf."

Now, you see, in this story, the older brother always comes off looking bad. He is portrayed as jealous and judgmental and indignant. But let me offer a word on behalf of the older brother.

The older brother shows all kinds of qualities that are admirable. He is dependable and faithful. He is obedient. He is reliable. He works hard. He is mature. And furthermore, he’s present. He doesn’t wander off; you don't have to worry about whether he’ll be there. The younger brother strays, gets into trouble, and finally comes back home, but the older brother was there all along. This is the kind of person we want to be around. I mean whom would you rather have as your doctor, your accountant at tax time, your child's teacher? Who would do better at farming? Who would make a better deacon, Sunday School teacher, or pastor?

The fact is, society runs as smoothly as it does, because of older brothers and sisters. If it were not for people like us, steady and reliable and rock-solid, we would be in serious trouble. And the fact is, most church people are older brothers and sisters. And the father needs the older brothers -- if not for him, who would have tended the farm?

But what is troubling about the older brother is the way he reacts to the father’s welcome. Receiving the prodigal back home? That’s one thing. But throwing a party? That's going way too far. And the older brother just cannot get himself to go into that party.

What's keeping the older brother from not going? In the first place, the older brother has trouble expressing his own needs. Instead, he whines. He complains. He grumbles. "You kill the fatted calf for this son of yours, but you never even give me a goat to have a party with my friends." Did the older brother ever ask for a party? If the Father gave the younger son his inheritance, wouldn’t he surely give the Older Son a goat? Apparently, he never asked. The fact was, everything the Father had would be the Older Son’s. The younger son had already spent his inheritance. But he couldn’t express what he wanted. He would rather sulk and be angry than take part in the celebration.

In another sense, the older brother was simply holding up societal expectations. The Father had clearly lost it, you see. First, he gives away the inheritance, and then when the son has blown it all on wild living, he throws a party for the rascal. Hey, that’ll teach him a lesson! And what kind of an example would that be to all the other kids in the community? I mean, next thing you know, all the teenagers in the village would go to their parents and demand their inheritance, and when they take it and blow it, they would expect to come back and be received with a party. Surely, they couldn't allow a boy to be rewarded for such behavior. So, since the Father had apparently taken leave of his senses, the Older Son has to be the one to hold up such expectations. After all, he was the dutiful one, and that was the right thing to do. So he says "No" to such outrageous behavior. And he certainly would have been encouraged by others in the community to not dignify the party with his presence.

But as much as anything, it may have been the older brother’s responsible, dedicated nature itself that kept him away from the party. He was out in the field, doing what he was supposed to be doing. He was hoeing in the field and had been hoeing for so long that he didn’t know how to do anything else. He had never been disobedient. He had always worked hard. And he had come to depend on this sterling record of achievement and responsibility. He had never needed forgiveness and now he didn’t know how to show mercy.

Like a lot of us, the older brother was offended by what he saw as cheap grace. Letting his brother come back home was one thing, but a party was just too much. The younger son needed to earn his way back into the family. It is that incredible grace, that undeserved forgiveness, that can offend people.

A pastor, who preached on this story, had an interesting experience. In the congregation that day, was a man who rarely came to church but was there one particular day because his daughter was taking part in the service. He preached about the son who wasted his inheritance and came crawling home like a whipped puppy. He tried to describe the totally unmerited forgiveness that the boy received--with no strings attached. Then he made the mistake (he was to find out later) of suggesting that God is like that Father, that God forgives and loves us unconditionally. The man came up to him after the service. He was red in the face and could barely control his anger. "You’re making a fool of God!" he blurted out. "That boy has to pay for what he did! He has to earn his way back to the family." The pastor tried to explain, but how do you explain grace? The man walked away, angry.

Now, let's be honest here, there is part of us that agrees with that man. "That boy should have to pay for what he did!" The problem with being an older brother is that we can get so caught up in merit that it becomes hard to live by grace. And we can forget that we too live by grace. We too live by God’s undeserved love and forgiveness.

What a difference is there between the between the attitude of these brothers and the attitude of the father? The younger son so selfish about what belongs to him went away and wasted it. He was so far from the father's love and the father's house where there was so much abundance. It was only when he it bottom that a miracle happened. He came to himself. He remembered. He remembered what it was like in the father's house. There are a lot of people we know who have gone away from the father's love and the father's house and spend our lives in wasteful living. Some of them will need to hit bottom and eat pig slop before they remember what it was like at the father's house. But you know there are lots of others who only need a simple reminder that at the father's house there is such an abundance that they have to throw out food even after the servants had finished eating. But we don't have any indication that the older brother was really concerned about what the younger brother was doing, do we? We don't hear if he ever went out to look for the younger brother -- even if it was just to remind him that at the father's house there is not only food, but grace enough and to spare, that there was love enough and to spare. Perhaps with his judgmental attitude, there wasn't love enough to spare at the father's house. Can you imagine what a dinner conversation would be with the two brothers present? Perhaps that's why the younger brother wanted to leave in the first place.

The critical difference, it seems to me, between the father and the older brother, is that the older brother does not care for relationships. Look at the way he addresses his father and brother. When the father comes outside to invite the older son in, he doesn’t even address him as father. He just says, "Listen!" "Listen, I’ve been working hard for you all my life!" And when he talks about the younger brother, he speaks of him not as "my brother," but "this son of yours." The older brother is not focused on relationships, he is focused on rights. But look at how the father responds. While the older brother refused to address him, the father begins with son. "Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours." And while the older brother had spoken of the younger brother as "this son of yours," refusing to recognize his relationship with his brother, the father says "this brother of yours was dead and has come to life; he was lost and has been found." The older brother wants to put a distance between himself, the irrational father and the sinful younger brother. But the father seeks to close the gap.

We need to remember to whom this story was told. Jesus was speaking to Pharisees who had been grumbling because Jesus welcomed sinners, even sharing meals with them. It was told to those who were a lot like the older brother. Truth be told, this story was aimed at people who are a lot more like us than we might care to admit.

Another pastor tells about a memorable Sunday at his church. "I wanted to preach about the ‘Amazing Grace’ of God who welcomes sinners of every stripe into the fellowship of his family," he said, "and how it is that more than merely welcome, or tolerate them, God has a track record of making them to be leaders and saints. I wanted to talk about people like Matthew- a detested tax collector, and Mary-the ex-prostitute one, and David-a murderer made King." "In what I thought one of my more creative moments I came up with a title for the sermon and had it posted on the church sign out front. The sign said, "Murders, Criminals, Prostitutes Welcome." What do you suppose happened? This pastor says that never, in all his years of working in the church, had there ever been such immediate and vocal criticism. People began phoning the church, calling members of the board and denouncing the minister, demanding that the sign be changed immediately. "I doubt that I would have got any murderers, criminals or prostitutes out that Sunday," said the pastor, "but had they indeed come, there certainly weren't very many good, Christian folk out ready to welcome them!"

The older brother did not believe the younger brother deserved to be forgiven. And you know what? He was exactly right. He didn’t deserve it. He had been a lousy son. He didn’t deserve it, but the father forgave him anyway. There is the younger son, who doesn’t believe he can be forgiven, and the older son, who doesn’t think he needs it. Just as the younger brother separated himself from the family by wild living, the older brother separated himself from the family with his rigid living. Both were lost sons. And the father runs to meet both. The father invites them both to the celebration. The father loves both and offers grace to both.

So, to all of you younger brothers who have come, welcome to the God's house and to the celebration. The miracle is that you remembered that at the father's house there is abundance of food, of grace and love. And when you came just like the father in the story, God runs out to welcome you.

And to all of you recovering older brothers like me, come to the party. God says, look at these sons and daughters of mine who were lost but now are found -- they were once dead but now are alive. Then there are lots of others who belong at this table. They need to be reminded that at God's house there is abundance. They don't need to wait until they are eating pig slop. They can be reminded now. So, would you remind them, would you invite them. Because you too were lost, but now you are found was blind, but now you see.

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* With thanks to Rev. Dave Russell, First Baptist Church, Ames, IA for the idea.