About 8 years ago, when Amit first came to worship at Cornell Baptist Church, I couldn't have imagined that I would be here, in Cocorit, Mexico participating in his wedding ceremony. As I said earlier, at that time I began a very special friendship with Amit. Amit is that rare student who does not just want pass the courses to get a degree, but wants to explore the depths of his subject matter. He brought that same spirit to his spiritual life. Exploring it through the Bible and the Gita, he was determined to become everything God had created him to be. My life as a pastor becomes most interesting when I meet people like that. And for that I am grateful.

I came to know Luz only very recently. In the conversations we have had it has become very clear to me that she is the one God had intended for Amit, and Amit for Luz all along. In other words, Amit for Luz and Luz for Amit is in the divine order. In the Indian tradition, the word for that is dharma. Now I know dharma is a very important concept for most of us. And I know that some of you may understand it differently. For instance, traditionally, getting married according to our dharma has meant our families chose us partners according to a set of social structures and customs. But since we have a healthy mix of traditional and progressive values here, I want to suggest to you a more progressive way of thinking about our dharma, which, I think is particularly important for those of us in the Indian diaspora to understand.

You see, dharma is not limited to India, and the social structures of Indian society. I hope you will agree that it is a universal concept. Those of us who are born and bred here in Mexico, like Luz' family, or others of us who are born and bred in the United States -- who have not have the slightest idea about dharma, who never learned the wonderful story of Lord Ram and Sita, as the embodiment of dharma -- in other words, all of us here today and all people in the world whether they know it or not, are also required to live according to our dharma. If in India, living according to the dharma meant staying within its social structures, isn't it important to ask how we who are now living in North America live according to our dharma in this new context. What I am trying to get at here is this: when Amit marries Luz, the externals may look different, but I believe that they are doing it according to their dharma.

Many of us, and many others and events have had a part in shaping Amit and Luz for one another. God is a wonderful creator of networks. In my work as a pastor I see this all the time. And when God creates them, they are the right ones -- the dharmic ones. Many of you met them on the path that brought them together and helped to prepare them for marriage. You represent the families that gave them life, the social communities in which they grew, the religious communities that nurtured them toward faith, the friendships that supported them. They could not be here today, except that you and I were there, aiding and encouraging them along the way. We may not have thought so at the time, but when Amit and Luz look back at the patterns of relationships in their lives, it would become clear, that when we stay the right course, the dharmic course, they come to the right conclusion.

When Amit and Luz talked to me about their marriage plans, I asked them about their stories and how God has worked those networks. We are so often too busy with our hectic lifestyles that we take God's involvement in our personal histories for granted. Isn't it interesting that a family from Gujarat beat enormous odds they had along the way and was able to come to America and out of many other places he could have gone, their son chose Harvard? Isn't it interesting that a woman from Mexico, out of many other options she may have had was there at the right time and the right place? Just one different decision from either of them, or their families or friends, somewhere along the way would have set them in two entirely different directions. God has interesting ways of creating the dharmic networks. I do believe that God has brought these two people together and has a stake in their marriage.

Now, I know, some of us worry. We wonder how such a cross-cultural and cross-religious marriage work. I mean, we know how hard it is when the couple is from the same community. During the 1980s when I led the Chicago Ashram, we had many cross cultural couples in our community. Working with them and helping them to become stable families in their new North American homeland was one of our specialties. Cross-cultural marriages have serious challenges. It requires work, patience, and above all, a community that supports them. They need to learn to speak each other's languages, learn each other's customs, appreciate diversity not in their head, but in their heart. It is even more challenging when the couple is from different religious traditions. When that is the case, most couples decide to, and I know many of us will advice them to, water down their religious commitment -- it is easy to be secular. What is most exciting about Luz and Amit and others like them, is that rather than water-down, they want to live out their religious commitment to the fullest.

The best example of their commitment to make things work across the cultural and religious barriers, is this weekend -- where we have two ceremonies, one in the Indian tradition and the other in the Mexican tradition. They intend to be as fully Mexican and as fully Indian-American as they can possibly be. To that end, I encourage you, Amit and Luz to immerse yourselves in each other's cultures, so that each of you may have a deep appreciation and heartfelt longing for the other's cultural traditions. Similarly, I want to ask you Amit, to encourage Luz in her spiritual quest and help her to become the best Catholic she can possibly be. And Luz, I want to ask you that you encourage Amit in his spiritual quest and help him become the best Hindu he can possibly be. This is not easy work. And we have talked about the challenges of keeping such a commitment. But this is the way of the new dharma.

You know, our ways of thinking about dharma, evolved over generations. Our ancestors observed patterns and began to say, if you arrange marriages this way, rather than that way, they will work. In our new context, the patterns of dharma are yet to be established. In that sense, Amit and Luz are trail-blazers.

Now, Amit and Luz are not the only people in this. We are the supporting cast of characters, and they need your help with the hard work they have ahead of them. One of the fundamental things we all need to understand is this: after this weekend, all our relationships will become new -- because they will no longer relate to you as single people. Now they will relate to you as a couple. And everytime you relate to them as couple, everytime you take care not to pit one against the other, everytime you protect them from gossip and rumor and everytime you encourage them in what they've begun here to do, you will be helping them to build a stronger bond as a family. That will be the dharmic thing we need to do.

There's an interesting story in Jewish and Christian scripture that sums up my understanding of marriage. Even my telling a story from a different religious tradition in the middle of a Hindu ceremony would be in keeping with this new dharmic tradition that we are trying to build, wouldn't it? In the new dharmic tradition we must learn from each other's stories.

Immediately following the story of the creation of a man from the earth, God says, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner." So after searching for a suitable partner, and having found none, God makes the man to fall into a deep sleep, takes out a rib and with that, God made a new creation: a woman. Jewish rabbis commenting on this said, God did not take the woman out of the man's head to show that she is greater than him, nor from the man's toes to show that she is lesser than the man. If you know the Hindu Vedic story of Purusa, you know how such a hierarchy works. But God created a woman out of a rib, a place close to the man's heart to show how equal they are and how beloved they are to each other. This is a part of the new dharmic understanding.

Well, the man sees the woman and recognizes and receives her as his partner. And then we have these words, "Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife and they become one flesh." Now they are a new unit. Leaving father and mother, not abandoning now, because we must care for our parents, siblings and family, but leaving, that is, creating an emotional and physical distance from your family of origin is essential for the forming of that new unit. You are not defined by that family any more; you are defined by your new relationship. The cleaving to each other by learning the fine art of not letting other priorities and relationships get in the way of your spouse, by learning to appreciate, respect, support and care for each other and always encouraging and pushing each other towards being the very best that God has created him or her to be, is critical for the formation of the new unit. And the becoming of one flesh! You know, our religious traditions are pretty down to earth, when it comes to understanding the importance of our sexuality, enjoying one another is vital to a wholesome marriage. Marriage must be fun. No doubt there are hardships, stresses, difficulties and heartaches. But becoming one flesh is about learning to enjoy each other, to long and yearn for each other, to laugh and play with each other. Do you know why I think there are so many divorces in our society? People have lost the art of having fun with each other. Rather than give priority each other and their children, most people give priority to career and making money. So, marriages become boring, tiring and dull, and they begin to look for fun elsewhere. Amit, Luz is one of God's greatest gifts to you. Luz, Amit is one of God's greatest gifts to you. Enjoy each other; make each other your priority.

Luz and Amit, you are embarking on an exciting new adventure -- you are trail-blazers. Do remember that you can't do it alone. That's why I am here, and that's why so many of your family and friends are here. So lean on us in the hard times -- we'll be there for you. But in the good times lead us; teach us by your life and example how to embody the dharma in our new context. And the same God, who brought you together, will go with you into every step of your journey.