Here are some of the things that I wish I had said

• "You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend." - Rich Jeni (on going to war over religion)
• "The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire' and the computer will say, 'Specify type of goat'." - Rich Jeni
• "I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot." - Kevin James
• "Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master" - Emo Phillips
• "I read somewhere that 77 percent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 percent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves." - Emo Phillips
• "In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends" - Martin Luther King Jr.
• "This one's for a girl called Shannon, 'Live Forever.'" - Liam Gallagher
• "When I look around, I think this is good enough, and I try to laugh at whatever life brings...Because when I look down I miss all the good stuff, and when I look up I just trip over things." - Ani DiFranco
• "A mandatory sentence for a crime with no victim. When everyone knows jail terms should be picked in order of the pain they cause. Do what thou wilt, shall be the whole of the law. Until you violate the rights of another - Respect the space of your sister and your brother. The war on drugs may be well intentioned, but it falls fucking flat when you stop to mention - The overcrowded prison where a rapist gets paroled, to make room for a dude who has sold a pound of weed to me, that's a crime." - 311
• "Without you, my life has become a hangover without end." - Pulp
• "Well I've never prayed but tonight I'm on my knees. I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me. I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mined I feel free now." - The Verve
• "Teenage tears sting my eyeballs in a town where I wasn't born." - The Verve
• "Reality is an illusion caused by a lack of alcohol." - Kurt Cobain
• "There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up." - Oscar Wilde
• "The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame." - Oscar Wilde
• "You gotta love living baby, cos dying is a pain in the ass." - Frankie Sinatra
• "I'd rather die on my feet than live on my knees." - Political Activist
• "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." - Oscar Wilde
• "Man did not weave this web of life. He is merely a strand of it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself." - Chief Seattle
• "Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before." - Mae West
• "By the year 2000 we will, I hope, raise our children to believe in human potential, not God." - Gloria Steinem
• "Sometimes, you have to put down the duckie." - Ernie from Sesame Street
• "I'm sure I'd feel much worse if I weren't under such heavy sedation." - Spinal Tap
• "The only interesting answers are those which destroy the questions." - Susan Sontag
• "Here the melting pot stands open - if you're willing to get bleached first." - Buffy Sainte-Marie
• "Reality is something you rise above." - Liza Minelli
• "They cannot censor the gleam in my eye." - Laughton
• "Though I sit down now, the time will come when you will hear me." - Disraeli
• "What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies." - Aristotle
• "An eye for an eye leads only to more blindness." - Unknown
• "The saints are the sinners who keep on going." - Robert Louis Stevenson
• "Every soul is a melody which needs renewing." - Stephanie Mallarme
• "It is an illusion that youth is happy, an illusion of those who have lost it." - W. Somerset Maugham
• "I've drawn closed the curtains, in this little booth, where the truth has no place to stand. And I'm feeling oh so powerless, in this stupid booth, with this stupid lever in my hand. And outside my city is bracing for the next killing thing standing by the bridge and praying for the next Martin Luther King." - Ani DiFranco
• "I have come back again to where I belong; not an enchanted place, but the walls are strong." - Dorothy H. Rath
• "An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support." - Fulton J. Sheen
• "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." - Anais Nin
• "Never look down on anybody unless you're helping him up." - Jesse Jackson
• "I am El Ni�o. All other tropical storms bow down to El Ni�o. For those of you who don't habla espa�ol: El Ni�o is spanish for The Ni�o." - Chris Farley
• "There is such a fine line between stupid and clever." - Spinal Tap
• "Courage is something frail as hope is frail: a fragile shoot between two stones that grows brave towards the sun though warmth and brightness fail, striving and faith the only strength it knows." - Frances Rodman
• "When you get to the end of all the light you know, and it's time to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things shall happen: either you will be given something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly." - Edward Teller
• "I think most artists create out of despair. The very nature of creation is not a performing glory on the outside, it's a painful, difficult search within." - Louise Nevelson
• "Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives." - Charles William Dement
• "Peace is not something you wish for; it's something you make, something you do, something you are, something you give away." - Robert Fulghum
• "The means by which we live have outdistanced the ends for which we live. Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men." - Martin Luther King JR.
• "People are like stained glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within." - Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
• "Girls don't think boys' games are too hard, they think they're stupid." - Andy Grove
• "In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer." - Albert Camus
• "Those who hear not the music, think the dancers mad." -Unknown
  

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