31 Ways to Order Pizza

1. If using a touch-tone phone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
3. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
4. Give them your address, exclaim, "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
5. Answer their questions with questions.
6. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."
7. Stutter on the letter "p."
8. Ask what the order taker is wearing.
9. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
10. Change your accent every three seconds.
11. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK> That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."
12. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
13. Say "Are you sure this is (Name of Pizza Place)?" When they say yes, say "Well so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, the pizza place, start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"
14. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.
15. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
16. Imitate the order taker's voice.
17. Eliminate verbs from your speech.
18. When they say "What would you like?" say, "HUH? Oh you mean now?"
19. Ask to see a menu.
20. Order a slice, not a whole pizza (Already done it!)
21. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.
22. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."
23. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
24. Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and ... action!"
25. If using a touch-tone phone, press 911 every 5 seconds throughout the order.
26. After ordering, say, "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.
27. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."
28. Put them on hold.
29. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last think you say "No mushroom, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.
30. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"
31. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"

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