Actual Answering Machine Messages

• "Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep."
• "Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets."
• (From a Japanese Man in Canada) "He-lo! This is Sato. If you leave message, I call you soon. If you leave sexy message, I call sooner!"
• "This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call."
• "Hi. I am probably at home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."
• Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call back."
• "What the f...BEEEP!"

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