How To Be Annoying

• Sing the Batman theme incessantly
• Specify that your drive through order is "to go"
• Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen
• Speak only in a robot voice
• Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly
• Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies
• Sniff incessantly
• Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles
• Name your dog "Dog"
• Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions, to "keep them tuned up"
• Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training"
• Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace"
• Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot"
• Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol
• Make beeping noises when a large person backs up
• Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person"
• Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment
• Holler random numbers while someone is counting
• Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you like it that way
• Staple papers in the middle of the page
• Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings
• Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page
• Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise
• Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climatic parts of rental movies
• Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

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