Saavu graaki.

	  Of all the dialects of Tamil in the world, 
the one spoken in Madras is indisputably the most elegant and most popular, 
 to say the least.
	
	      While some may argue that the primary reason for this is 
 the relative simplicity of the dialect, many consider the  
"broad-mindedness" the Madras folks have demonstrated in  
acclimating to the liberalization policy of the Indian govurmentu. 
	
 
	pinna ennaba, newspaper edtha enga pathalum  
liberliseshan... attha vutta TN Seshan! The aesthetic quality of Madras 
 Tamil comes from the fact that a classical (and old) language like 
 Tamil is given that contemporary touch by the constructive intrusions  
from languages like Hindi, Telugu, Greek,Italian, Persian and 
most importantly English 
 (naduvula konjam uttaks naina).  

	
As a result, the language may sound uncivilized, from the point of view  
of the Madurai folks,  who seemingly say 'Vaanga..  ponga..' 
even before 'veesing' the 'veecharuvaa'
 and the Coimbatore  folks who add this sickening slur to every statement...
 and in their   obsession with pure Tamil curb the unfettered evolution of
 the   language, thereby leading to little or no development of the language  
 itself. For instance, words like 'bejaar', 'peela', 'saavu graaki' have no 
sense and no equivalents in the Southern dialects of tamil. 

            
	Certainly an inexplicable loss to Tamil Language! Now, really
getting into the mechanics of the spoken language, the most  important
point is the relative position of the lips while speaking.
            
	While most  tamil dialects involve a cavity of 2 inches between the
 lips, Madras  tamil involves a much lesser gap (0.5 to1.2 Inches). Mastering
 the   exact position is half the language learnt. Assuming we're using  
flash cards, 

		let this be Card# 1. All words -- more specifically, all verbs
 need to be consistently shortened adhering to a set of strict rules. 
padiththu(read), 
mudiththu(complete), 
abiththu(curse) 
will be gracefully shortened as 
--->'Pachchi',
--->'muchchi', 
---->'sabchi'.  

Note  the conversion of the syllable 'da' to 'cha'. This is essentially true 
for the entire gamut of emotions to be conveyed in Madras  Tamil.
 'kondirukkiren' is converted for simplicity to '...nikkeren'. 
As a corollary, 'padiththu kondirukkiren'=3D 'pachchi-nikkeren' 
		   'kuliththu ondirukkiren' =3D 'kulchi-nikkeren' 
	Readers can understand immediately that this was done to save time,
 so that  in the same period of time a Madras Tamilar can convey 1.5 times 
that of a Madurai Tamilar and 5000 times that of a Coimbatore Tamilar 
(depending on the length of the drawl...like 'yaeeeeeeenunga?') One  anomaly
 to this shortening rule is, some words get suffixed with the  syllable 'ka'. 
So, summa =3D summaka dhoora =3D dhooraka
	
	 Let's say this is Card# 2. Madras Tamil does not use
'neenga' and 'nee' in     different contexts. In fact, only 'nee' is
used. This is not a   deliberate attempt to degrade someone in
public, but to offer a level   playing field for everyone. So if the
auto-karan asks 'enga ponum, unakku?' do not feel offended. 

	This is Card# 3. 'da' is used by ALL   IIT guys and ALL policemen for 
quite different reasons. The tone    of 'ennada, license enga, vootlaya?' 
and 'what da, where is the  Jantha, da?' are self-explanatory.Incidentally,
 all words beginning    with 'vee' can be unconditionally substituted with
 'voo'. So 'Veedu' =3D 'voodu' 
	'Vittuvidu' =3D 'vuttudu'.

	Coming back to 'da', a    euphemism for that would be 'ba'. 
So a 'ennada' would be made to  sound much less offensive with 'ennaba'.
Other less effective words,  principally used among friends include 'naina', 
'vaadhyaare', machi', 'berther'(brother),'allo'(hello).the list is endless. . 
When it comes to expressing intimacy and friendship, 
			 Madras Tamil is   the best in the world. 

	This is Card# 4.'enna'(what?) in Madras  is 'yeenaa?'. So, combining  
equations (2) and (5), (sorry ba, 12th  Maths madhiree aaychee)  
'yeenaa pachchinikkera?', 'yeenaa   kachinikkera?'. 
	
	This is Card# 5. The syllable 'zha'(as in tamizh) becomes 'ya'.  
So, 'vaazhai pazham' is 'vaaya payam', 'vaazhkai'   is 'vaaykai',  
'vazhukki' is 'vaykki'. Off  the record, 'zha' is a pain  in the butt. 
 More than 95% of Tamil Nadu substitutes it with 'ya'  or 'la'. 

	This is Card# 6. When it comes to borrowing words from  
 other languages  'Madrassukku nigar Madrasse'.
	 English words can be used in any context without feeling alien. 
 'wrongu', 'rightu', 'yechuse me', 'adjist', 'abase', 'abscond','beetiful', 
 'super', 'fruitu', 'pilim', 'figureu' and so on. 
Hindi has its contributions like bejaar'.	 
Telugu : 'naina', 'baava',yeppudu',cheppu' etc. Many such languages  have 
their representations all of which cannot be listed here. Also singular and
 plurals in English are inversed. So, even one lady becomes 'ladees',
 one friend becomes 'priends', a vegetable puff becomes 'puphs' etc. 

Note: Never forget (1) and (3) even while using other languages.
Miscellany: Superlatives are mostly functions ofTime and fame.
 But some superlatives like 'Lord Labakdas' ,'Amrican citizen', 'Columbus',
 'pisathu', 'pistha'can be used at any time, anywhere, guaranteed.
 The etymology of these words are unknown.
            
	Slangs are very important in Madras.Especially while drunk,
during 'kozha adi sandai' and in the 'paal booth'.
 'saavu  graaki', 'somaari', 'kasmalum' can be used as and when required.            

	(Tamil spoken at Ethiraj, Stella Maris is entirely different and
 is beyond the scope of this article.)

	 At this point it would be apt to mention that though this cookbook
 would carry you through your daily chores in Madras, 
time and experience Alone would increase your expertise in 
Madras Tamil - the Language of the 'Lords'.