Being composed of....
Book I: Wall Quotes
(original quotes from Froog and her comrades)
Book II: Amusing
Quotes
Book III: Serious
Quotes
The Holy and Most Glorious Book o' Wall Quotes, Volume 23
Love is a Squid. -Cobweb
Welcome to the First Druidic Church of Jerry Garcia. -Kelsey
Confucius say: A toad in the basket is worth a snowflake in the sky. -Cobweb
There are no 7-11's in the Otherworld. -Froog
If they don't want my genes carried on, I'll just take my chromosomes and go home. -Cobweb
It's like...a bleached Juan Valdez farming for pentacles. -SJ
Is he giving a blowjob to the crown or something? -Jay
I'm talkin' out of my head, and I don't think my head's on. -Cobweb
You callin' me a mutator? -Froog
When was the last time you turned into a parsnip? I hear it's a common malady in India. -Cobweb
Satan is just Lilith's bitch. -Lucky
Flaming orbs of silicone, Batman! Her breasts have exploded! -Jay
No more talk with christmas lights and cabbages and kings and all that. -Cobweb
Is that a mongoose in your sporran, or are you just happy to see me? -Froog
As much as I want to get in touch with history, I don't want to eat it. -Jay
We could use our imaginations...but let's not. -Dr. Beck
There's only so far you can go in coming up with alternate curse words before you start sounding like Ogden Nash. -SJ
Bride of Bitchmonkey -Cobweb
Why aren't there any cool straight people in history? -SJ
We don't care, we don't believe in anything. Here's a song about clouds. -Zac
Nothin' like a bunch of stoned Romans on a Friday night. -SJ
I'm drunk and horny. God help me....I don't believe in God. Shit. Umm...faeries? -Yavi
Fuck casual sex. -SJ
My mother says she doesn't know me since I made penis bread. -Sherry
I finally figured out why I don't like Daddy Longlegs'. If Tim Burton were God, that's what spiders would look like. -Froog
I think I remember not remembering it. -SJ
We all make mistakes. Some of us just make them more consistently than others. -Cobweb
I don't know what the hell this is, but it sure looks tasty. -Bob
All I know is that if I ever see a carrot with a face again, I will be deeply upset. -Cobweb
I'm not Christian, I'm Baptist....y'know, Church of Christ? -a scary redneck at the river
Moderation is the key, and I seem to have lost my keychain. -Cobweb
I think they're going to try to turn me into a fairy or something. -Jeremy
...and then you cube your man-meat. -Kevin
Can
you imagine God in a codpiece?
Which one?
Okay....Yahweh
in a codpiece?
And nothing else?
-Cobweb and Froog<
And the scar tissue said, "I will grant you three wishes..." -Froog
Jeremy:
He's taken the virginity that she was saving...
Attila:
For breakfast?
Yes, it IS possible to use the whole damn coconut! -Kayley
But...he looks like a shaved ape! -Vicky
Yea, thou are endowed verily like unto a goddess. -Aron
You have to go down all the levels and catagories until you finally narrow it down to the person who wants to have sex with cucumbers. -Jeremy
But I don't HAVE an antidote dagger! -Christopher (aka Sexy Green-kilted man)
The only Door I want to bang on died 30 years ago. -SJ
And next class, we'll discuss more of the groping rituals of antiquity. -Dr. Boling
Give me back the graduation calzone or the Rasta-bear gets it. -Froog
I have to go save my ferret, he's going to hang himself. -Jeremy (R'ville)
I'm in this moral dilemma. I like to hack people to death, but I don't want to go to hell. So I can go join the Crusades and kill people for God. -Dr. Tenace
Hey, they speak a funny language, let's go kill them! -Dr. Tenace
God works through people. Sometimes God works through handguns, too. -Brandon
Y'know, it's kinda hard to see things with your eyes open. -Froog
"Sir Randy Shags-a-lot" -the Naturewalkers
Parrotfish are to coral as we are to Pringles. -Cobweb
Amusing Quotes
So what happens when they bite you is that you slowly die until you're not moving anymore. Then they eat you alive. -"Kimodo", making of
I'd rather be swept off my feet by a half-naked robber than a soldier defending my honor. -"The Rainbow"
I've heard of penises, but that was ridiculous. -"In the Lair of the White Worm"
How would you like to wake up one morning and find parts of a cat in your stomach? - "Count Yorba, Vampire"<
Bruno, how would you feel about driving a wooden stake through somebody's heart?- "Count Yorba, Vampire"
He would like a tree if it had an appropriately placed knothole. -"Stormswept"
I'll take orgasms for $300, Alex. -"Stormswept"
Go not to the elves for counsel, for they will say "Abort, Retry, Fail?"- The Empty Crown, Rosemary Edgehill
All chests are equal in the sight of the Lord. -Far and Away
He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy! -Life of Brian
I pray you, lend me your dwarf. -"Volpone"
Sit down, have a taco. -"The Last Unicorn"
Just the usual...rape, religion, sodomy and sacrilege. -"The Wicker Man"
My, aren't we fierce? Guards, castrate him. -"Heavy Metal"
Mom! Dad! Don't touch it! It's Evil! - "Time Bandits"
So *that's* what an invisible barrier looks like. -"Time Bandits"
Yes, but I'm not solid. My texture is much more like that of moist bread. -"Cabin Boy"
Excuse me, but if I'm getting resurrected today, we'd better get back to the boat. - Magnum, PI
Nary an animal alive can outrun a greased Scotsman. -The Simpsons
If there's anything I've learned in life, it's that learning things never taught me nothing. -"Yellowbeard"
You can't trust anyone, least of all a priest. He's not called Father for nothing. -"Company of Wolves"
My friend, if we pull this off, our cookie will become a DEATH COOKIE for anyone who opposes our Holy Work. -A Chick Tract
The chick is a medieval nympho stripper, it's not a question of moving too fast. -The Street
They're called the Brothers Gibb, and the song concerns a deadly fever that only strikes on Saturdays. -"The 10th Kingdom"
Of
course not, we either live happily ever after or die of horrible curses.
-"The 10th Kingdom"
I don't
trust you at all! You tried to eat my grandmother! -"The 10th Kingdom"
This
path will lead you to an unholy place. -"Army of Darkness"
Let
schoolmasters puzzle their brain
The
road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom. -Blake
If
you hit a man over the head with a fish, he'll have a headache for a day,
but if you teach a man to hit himself over the head with a fish, he'll
have headaches for the rest of his life. -anon.
Genius
may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped. -Elbert
Hubbard
There
is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense
than we have. -Don Herold
The
surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that
it has never tried to contact us. -Bill Watterson, "Calvin and Hobbes"
Man
had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he
had achieved so much...the wheel, New York, wars, and so on, whilst all
the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time.
But conversely, the dolphins believed themselves to be more intelligent
than Man for precisely the same reason. -Douglas Adams
Serious Quotes
The world
is supposed to be full of possibilities, but they narrow down to pretty
few in most personal experience. There's lots of good fish in the
sea....maybe...but the vast masses seem to be mackerel or herring, and
if you're not mackerel or herring yourself, you are likely to find very
few good fish in the sea. -DH Lawrence, Lady Chatterly's Lover
Life
is a spiral, we come the same way repeatedly, but each time we have a different
view.-Morgan Llywelyn
Humans
who think they can explain magic or gods have experienced neither.
-Morgan Llywelyn/b>
The surest
way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher regard those
who think alike than those who think differently. -Nietzche
Everyone
takes the limits of his vision for the limits of the world. -Arthur Schopenhaur
We are
what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be. -Kurt
Vonnegut
...we are
robbed of that rare and wonderful satisfaction that comes with personal
accomplishment. In early times, nearly every single thing a person
touched was the result of his own labor. The cloth of his clothing,
the meal on the table, the chair he sat in, and the floor he walked upon,
all were made by the user. This is why those people had an extraordinary
awareness of life. --Eric Sloane
To live
content with small means, to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement
rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable; and wealthy, not rich;
to study hard, think quietly, talk gently, and act frankly. This
is my symphony. -William Ellery Channing
If you
ask a question, and stop long enough to listen, the universe will answer.
-Jack Flanders>
Your
assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in
a while, or the light won't come in.
Reality
is the ultimate Rorschach. -Principia Discordia
Mediocrity
is the refuge of the timid and unimaginative. -Principia Discordia
The human
race will begin solving its problems on the day that it ceases taking itself
so seriously.- Principia Discordia
Rudeness
is the weak man's imitation of strength. -Eric Hoffer
Ye
shall know the truth, and the truth shall make ye mad. -Aldous Huxley
Insanity
in individuals is something rare, but in groups, parties, nations, and
epochs, it is the rule. -Nietzsche
Autonomy
is the whole thing; it's what unhappy people are missing. They have given
the power to run their lives over to other people. -Judith Guest
Nothing
is enough for the man for whom enough is too little. -Epicurous
A human
being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog,
command a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build
a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate,
act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program
a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently and die gallantly.
Specialization is for insects. -Robert Heinlein
Is
it possible to prove that the past really did happen, instead of everything
from fossils to our memories, to the date being simply details created
in the mind of some pre-adolescent godling with only three minutes left
to sleep? -a person from an email list
Life,
viewed rationally and without illusion, appears to be a nonsense tale told
by an idiot mathematician. -Martin Gardner
An
eye for an eye only leads to more blindness. -Margaret Atwood
The
true genius shudders at incompleteness- and usually prefers silence to
saying something which is not everything it should be. -Edgar Allen Poe
Don't
speak unless you can improve on the silence. -Spanish proverb
Every
artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his
pictures. -Heny Ward Beecher
Music
washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. -Berthold Auerbach
Once
the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box. -Italian
proverb
In
my end is my beginning. -Mary Stewart, Queen of Scots
The
books that the world calls immoral are the books that show the world its
own shame. -Oscar Wilde
All
that is gold does not glitter; not all those who wander are lost. The old
that is strong does not wither; deep roots are not touched by the frost.
-JRR Tolkien
There
is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way. -Christopher
Morley
It
is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument. -William G. McAdoo
When
a true genius appears in this world, you may know him by this sign, that
the dunces are all in confederacy against him.-Jonathan Swift
A truly
great library contains something in it to offend everyone. -Jo Godwin
One
need not be a chamber to be haunted, one need not be a house; the brain
has corridors surpassing material place. -Emily Dickinson
A dreamer
is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that
he sees the dawn before the rest of the world. -Oscar Wilde
All
great truths begin as blasphemies. -George Bernard Shaw
All
the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players. They
have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many
parts. -William Shakespeare
You
see things and you say Why? But I dream things that never were and I say
Why not? -George Bernard Shaw
Life
is eternal and love is immortal, and death is only a horizon...and a horizon
is nothing, save the limit of our sight. -Carly Simon
The
world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but
still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is mingled
with grief, love grows perhaps the greater. -JRR Tolkien
Words
are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind. -Rudyard Kipling
Solitude
is fine, but you need someone to tell you that solitude is fine. -Honore
de Balzac
Television
is a triumph of equipment over people, and the minds that control it are
so small that you could put them in a gnat's navel with room left over
for two caraway seeds and an agent's heart. -Fred Allen, "CoEvolution Quarterly,
Winter '77
A word
is not a crystal, transparent and unchanged; it is the skin of a living
thought, and may vary greatly in color and content according to the circumstances
and time in which it is used. -Oliver Wendell Holmes
What
is to give light must endure burning. -Viktor Frankl
There
are trivial truths and there are great truths. The opposite of a
trival truth is plainly false. The opposite of a great truth is also
true. -Neils Bohr
Whatever
you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, magic
and power in it. Begin it now. -Goethe
Happiness
in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know. -Ernest Hemingway
Only
within yourself exists that other reality for which you long. I can
give you nothing that has not already its being within yourself.
I can throw open to you no picture gallery but your own soul. All
I can give you is the opportunity, the impulse, the key. -Herman Hesse,
"Steppenwolf"
To
avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. -Elbert Hubbard
No
society has been able to abolish human sadness; no politcal system can
deliver us from the pain of living, from our fear of death, our thirst
for the absolute. It is the human condition that directs the social
condition, not vice-versa. -Eugene Ionesco
To
change one's life:
Take
your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one
to blame. -Erica Jong
Of
all tyrannies a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims
may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber
barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's
cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated;
but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end,
for they do so with the approval of their own conscience. -CS Lewis
There
is nothing more difficult to take in hand, or perilous to conduct, or more
uncertain in its success, than to take the lead in the introduction of
a new order of things. -Machiavelli
She
was weeping over the end of a cycle. How one must be thrust out of
a finished cycle in life and that leap the most difficult to make, to part
with one's faith, one's love, when one would prefer to renew the faith
and recreate the passion. The struggle to emerge out of the past,
clean of memories; the inadequacy of our hearts to cut life into separate
and final portions; the pain of this constant ambivalence and interrelationship
of emotions; the hunger for frontiers against which we might lean as upon
closed doors before we proceed forward; the struggle against diffusion,
new beginnings, against finality in acts without finality or end... -Anais
Nin
We
die containing a richness of lovers and tribes, tastes we have swallowed,
bodies we have plunged into and swum up as if rivers of wisdom, characters
we have climbed into as if trees, fears we have hidden in as if caves.
I wish for all this to be marked on my body when I am dead. I believe
in such cartography--to be marked by nature, not just to label ourselves
on a map like the names of rich men and women upon buildings. We
are communal histories, communal books. We are not owned or monogamous
in our experience. All I desired was to walk upon such an earth that
had no maps. -Michal Ondaatje
He
that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression;
for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach
to himself. -Thomas Paine
Those
who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who only
dream by night. -Edgar Allen Poe
If
a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he
hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears,
however measured or far away. -Henry David Thoreau
Listen,
God loves everything you love, and a mess of stuff you don't. But
more than anything else, God loves admiration. I think it pisses
God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don't
notice it. -Alice Walker
The
gift of loneliness is sometimes a radical vision of society or one's people
that has not previously been taken into account. -Alice Walker
When
we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
-Mark Twain
with grammar and nonsense, and learning,
Good
liquor, I stoutly maintain,
gives genius a better discerning. -Oliver Goldsmith "She Stoops to Conquer"
1.
Start immediately,
2.
Do it flamboyantly,
3.
No exceptions.
-William
James