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Finding Myself

Who am I?

Where am I?

What am I?

Three questions riding inside my head like a continuous echo. Lying with my own thoughts, only wondering why I am here. But who am I, and what am I? Why am I in this predicament? My brain constantly feeding itself with the same questions. It's like irritation only much worse. In fact, this is great agony, emotional pain which I cannot understand.

Am I dead? Is this what death really is? Nothing but past thoughts and the former life. But I cannot see myself. I do not know who I am, nor what I am. Maybe this is what I will be like forever. Just staring at myself wondering how I am this way, but never having the questions answered. Maybe I am alive, but I am in some sort of coma, which I may either come out of or eventually die.

But these questions must be answered.

The scene opens backstage at the Pay Per View, Nuclear Winter, where paramedics and backstage crew are gathering around near the entrance. The curtain opens with a group of men and the TnT owner Jonny Fly holding a man who is indeed worse for wear. His entire face is covered in blood, a sight that is indeed gruesome and a very horrifying one. His hair is also dripping with blood, obviously from lying in the pool of his blood from where this man was attacked. The identity of the victim is indeed Nicky Mills, who was witnessed being beaten senseless in the ring by a group of men and Billy Dee, a religious cult. Jonny slowly lies him down onto the floor and the paramedics are checking him over. One of them speaks up to the owner of TnT Wrestling, a stony grim face a mask.

Paramedic #1: This isn't good, Mr Fly. He's basically unconscious but he's lost a lot of blood. If the bleeding continues...

 Fly buries his head in his hands and turns to the paramedic.

Jonny Fly: Call an ambulance, will you? This isn't going to get any better.

The man nods and disappears out of sight, while Jonny leans beside Mills. Kent Strong joins the crowd and pushes his way through along with other Dynasty member Jeremy Cundiff, who looks to see what the commotion is, and his face then falls as he realizes what has happened.

Jeremy Cundiff: What the fuck?! What happened?

Fly turns his head to Cundiff and in a low tone, begins to explain.

Billy Dee's friends decided to pop in and say hello.

Kent Strong: That isn't funny.

I know.

Cundiff looks horrified as suddenly an ambulance siren can be heard.

I'll go with him.

No, you still have a match.

Fuck that! This isn't about wrestling anymore. Nicky's still bleeding. He may not live through the night...

You think I dont know that? I would go with him as well, but I'm in the Main Event. After the show, we'll go to the hospital, I promise.

Jeremy sighs and looks down at his bloodied partner, before then turning to Jonny.

Fine.

Okay. Kent? Can you go with him?

Strong responds in approval and the ambulance men are seen with a stretcher, as the backstage is now completely silent. The man loads the bloodied wrestler onto the stretcher and wheel him out of sight towards the parking lot, as the scene fades completely to darkness.

I remember nothing.

Could I be nothing more? Am I a former existence?

Is this a long dream I cannot wake from, or a nightmare which will last forever?

Will I wake up and be a normal person? Am I this person inside my mind, that I wish to be? I don't know.

I have to go back in my mind, any memories I have. Anything that can help me find out who I am.

Opening at a large house, the autumn already sweeping the gardens of this house as leaves are swept up. We can hear the cries of children playing as two children outside are playing soccer, with various things used as goal posts. It seems this is the memory of Nicky Mills, as one of the kids bears a slight resemblance to him, the other resembling his brother, Thomas. Thomas is the older brother while Nicky is the second oldest. Nicky is around twelve years old while Thomas is around fifteen. Both of them are trying to score goals, and Thomas is dominating his brother in this, but both kids are having fun. Suddenly, the youngest brother, Mark Mills, comes out. He looks around eight years old, judging from his size.

Young Nicky: Where's Jason? Still in his room?

Young Mark: No, he went out.

Nicky begins taunting Thomas with the soccer ball and slips past him to score a goal. Nicky immitates a soccer player, pulling the shirt over his head and running around, until Thomas trips him up as he comes past him. He starts laughing as Nicky picks himself off the floor and the two begin wrestling each other. Mark jumps on top of them, as then a couple appear, both of them seem relatively young, in their thirties. This seems to be the children's parents. Both of them look happy as the father walks into the house, while the mother watches them.

Mother: Come on, kids. Dinner time!

The children hear this and Mark runs into the house, leaving Thomas and Nicky together, as they slowly walk into the house.

These are my happiest memories.

Now all of my brothers are dead. One because of his job, one because of me, and the other because of being involved with the Mafia. All linked to me.

My parents speak to me no longer, shamed with my crime of taking revenge for my youngest brothers killer. That was almost nine years ago today. Sitting in that courtroom as sentence was passed upon me for revenge.

Revenge.

What a beautiful word. Why is it a crime to take 'revenge'? You are merely getting retribution, paying back a crime that was done to you. For people to lock you up because of this, is injustice in itself.

Opening in a courtroom, which is beginning to fill up with people, as the jury section is now crowded with people, and this is obviously a trial. The prisoner, which is Nicky Mills, is led into the courtroom. He looks younger than he is now, his eyes shining with a glimpse of hope, as the people in the stands rise for the judge's entry into the room. Thomas and Mark are the only members of the family in the courtroom, as it seems the parents refused to speak to their only son when he was on trial.

Judge: Have you reached a verdict?

A man on the end of the jury row stands up and addresses the judge and the people in the stands.

Jury Member: Yes we have, your honour.

Do you find Nicholas William Mills guilty of murder?

Your honour, we find the defendant....guilty.

The people in the stands begin murmuring as the man accused loses all hope, and has a look of rage in his face, cold and emotionless. The judge slams the wooden hammer down for silence, which becomes in the courtroom.

Nicholas William Mills, you were a good law abiding citizen until your brother was killed in a wrestling ring, and the man who did so was cleared of any wrongdoing. Yet, your rage led you to kill this innocent man. You are a danger to any man that offends you or does anything to your dislike, and it would be a travesty if you were to walk free anytime soon. Therefore, I am sentencing you to eight years in a state prison. Do you have anything to say now that this sentence has been bestowed upon you?

The man accused looks up and then, begins to laugh. His laughter rings across the courtroom as everyone seems confused. Eventually, he stops laughing and turning to the judge, begins to speak.

Nicky Mills: You call this justice? YOU CALL THIS JUSTICE? Jailing an innocent man who revenged his brother? The man who did so being 'cleared of wrongdoing'? Did he bribe his way out of it? Is that it?

The murmurs begin rising as Nicky spits towards the judge as the prison guards begin to restrain him.

THIS SYSTEM IS A JOKE! EIGHT YEARS FOR RETRIBUTION! FOR AN INNOCENT MANS DEATH! I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!

Remove him from the courtroom this instant!

More guards rush into the room to restrain Nicky, as the judge slams the wooden hammer, usually to confirm the sentence, and begins to walk out of the courtroom. Mills escapes from the guards and uses his handcuffs to attempt to choke him. The prison officers then use their batons to take down Nicky, as Nicky falls to the ground and releases the judge, and the scene fades to black.

That started everything.

Is this me? Is this what I am?

So why am I here, in this state? Searching my own thoughts?

Why cannot I remember why?

All I remember is the confrontation, those hooded men...

A scene of a gang of hooded men in white laughing as they watch a man lying in a pool of his own blood. Nicky looks up to see his own reflection.

No. That wasn't me in that hood.

But what if it was?

Another scene is that of the death of Santonio Lunacchio and the death of Don Lunacchio, all killed at the hands of Nicky Mills. Their eyes staring in horror at their deaths identity.

Is this payback for my sins?

Everything I have done wrong to watch men die at my hands?

Because I failed to protect my brother from my enemies?

Or my oldest brothers death at my hands.

Is this a sign to become a different person?

A scene of a first person view of Jonny Fly, looking down at him, laughing.

Jonny Fly (Dream Form): Your a joke. This is life and death. Nobody cares about you. Your a unwanted piece of shit. I saved you from your own mind. I helped you when you were at your worst. And for what? To see you beaten at the hands of a bunch of Klu Klux Klan impersonators? Your worthless. So go ahead and die already. Rot in your grave and do us all a favour. Your family is gone, there's nowone to love you and cherish you. Your friends even hate you. We couldn't care about you. Your an item that can only become useful for so long, and now it has outgrown it's usefulness.

It's true.

I was beaten down. Made to taste my own blood. Made to realise my sins.

Made to know I am not at all powerful.

Prove myself without help.

To not let this attack go without retribution.

May God have mercy on their souls, because I wont have mercy on them.

We fade into the real situation in a hospital, as we see Jeremy Cundiff, Kent Strong and Jonny Fly all standing by Nicky Mills' bedside. However, Nicky's eyes begin to flicker and Cundff is the only one to notice, as he slowly speaks up.

Jeremy Cundiff: Guys...?

All of them come to alert and turn to watch Mills as his eyes are fully open, and looking around the room, notices all the people in the room, and then sighs as his eyes return to their original position, staring up at the ceiling.

Jonny Fly: Mills?

Nicky Mills directs his eyes to Jonny and nods his head, showing that he is awake from his coma, but we fade to black before we can get anymore insight.