Former Wrestler Killed In Automobile Accident

It has been reported that Jonny Fly, former TnT World champion and CEO of TnT Wrestling, was killed in an automobile accident. He and his friend, Mark Vincent, were reported to be on their way to Jonny Fly's home in New York City and it is reported that his car was involved in a collision with a red pickup truck. One witness stated that 'the red pickup truck looked as if it wanted to hit the vehicle.' Police have not yet commented on this, but have confirmed that the death has occurred and that Mark Vincent is still in critical condition at a Pennsylvanian hospital. TnT Wrestling could not be reached for comment regarding the tragedy.

Evil is not something superhuman, it's something less than human. Your criminal is somebody who wants to be important.

-Agatha Christie

The Graveyard Tale

A lone graveyard stands in an unknown location, the wind blowing the leaves around the empty grounds. Only one man is left in the emptiness that surrounds him. The sound of nothing is all that remains along with the figure, who is wearing a long black overcoat, and a pair of black shades. Staring into the day, he walks towards the corner where gravestones belonging to a whole family are. Birds begin to chirp and fly around, and a plane is heard over the sound of nothing. The camera stares at the figure, who looks at the graves and asks the cameraman to join him, as they walk towards the graves. He is looking at two graves which the camera can read as:

Ronald Kray. Born 24th October 1933. Died 17th March 1995.

Reginald Kray. Born 24th October 1933. Died 1st October 2000.

The graveyard is known as Chingford Mount Cemetery, and it is apparently located in Essex.  The figure is revealed to be the Hollywood Icon and the Wrestling Legend, 'The Outlaw' Nicky Mills, who's forehead is covered with a giant plaster. His arm has no bandage, showing that he does not need it anymore. Looking at the camera, he begins to speak with a smirk on his face.

I'm going to tell you a story today, something that I dont usually do in a wrestling promo. A story that involves two of the biggest gangsters in Britain. Not only were they gangsters, they were murderers. Both of them were born twins and when they were young, they both had a bout of diphtheria. Reginald was to recover quicker, while Ronald took a while to recover, but eventually did. This would lead already to the downfall of the Kray Twins, who became the most fearsome gangsters in the United Kingdom. Ron suffered with schizophrenia possibly as a result of the diphtheria and this led to paranoia, murders for no reason, things like that.

However, people remember them because of the murders, not for being gangsters. Think about it, they were fearsome but people only saw them for the brutal murders they committed. Without the murders, they were nothing. I look back on them and still believe that their downfall had already been prepared. Being here in Britain for a little time away from the cesspool known as America, it's made me realise what a fool I have been for the past few weeks.

I showed mercy, something that I never used to do. It would result in my losses against guys like Reed Harrington, quite possibly one of the whiniest superstars I've ever met. He's a Texas bar crawler who got lost on his way to the local rodeo and ended up in a wrestling ring. He just annoys me when he calls himself a legend, and I can assure you that word will never appear in his dictionary. His words would be 'loser, wannabe, American freak' and much more that I wont go into, not to embarrass him more than he already has embarrased himself. I am remembered not for being cocky, but for my actual wrestling abilities and my actions. Actions speak louder than words, as they say.

Think about it, someone like Jeremy Cundiff wrestles, but nobody will remember him for anything else. Why? He has not made a big enough impact for him to be remembered. Me? I've done things that have been questioned by some. Using someone's wife or girlfriend as an object to get to the other person, such as Sarah Stragitias, or Andrea Williams. When I used Sarah, I got Michael at his most best, determined to take me apart piece by piece. I slept with Jeremy's ex girlfriend to get inside his head. When I threatened to bury Erica, I got Thunder's best side, a personal side determined to win. But I also took him apart, as I saw how pathetic he looked begging me for mercy.

Dont you see? I may be a sick motherfucker to some, but I am a smart man. A loss doesnt mean nothing, but the after-effects are what counts. Cundiff has a personal reminder of me when I took Gavin James out of wrestling, and now he can reveal his secret all he wants. But he has not, and it is because he is scared. Yes, he is afraid of what I can achieve. If I can destroy a man with no emotion, what else am I capable of? Jeremy isnt stupid, and that weed has finally worn off, and he realises that the day he shares the secret, the day he will regret ever doing so. Ron Kray was remembered not for being a gangster, but for his brutal murders, for his schitzophrenia made him murder people without reason. You see, it's not what you are in life, but it's what you do that will be remembered. And that is why our World champions have been nothing but farces.

Rollin Thunder has done nothing but talk his way into title shots. He never did anything for them. Look at it, Thunder won against Draconis and Kalibur because Kal was screwed by Fly. Rollin got the title in the first place because Segrada wanted him off his back, and why? Rollin was trying to attack him day in, day out. And so you see, that is why the world champion is a joke. He has done nothing to deserve that title but talk. While me, I gave the match that makes TnT Wrestling. Rollin versus Krisis? Oh please, only mental patients watch Krisis's matches, and typical borish Americans watch the fast talking moron win the title. I gave the best match of my career, and where the fuck did it get me? Cundiff lost his chance, and now Cortez has suddenly appeared and whined his way into a program, siding with Kalibur and getting into the main event. TnT Wrestling is slowly turning into a federation which doesnt involve talent, but laughing freaks like Krisis, an ape like Rollin Thunder, his brainless comrade Jimmy Vetalo, and a ghetto fucking nigger from the streets.

I am so bored with all the ghetto bullshit. Cortez has no damn talent, but because he's black, he gets into the main event. Same with X Kalibur. Week in week out, it's the same crap that comes out of their mouths. 'Foo, don talk that way bout me foo, I put ma dick in your ass, nigga.' It's boring the damn hell out of me, and yet, they get the main event. Cortez walks into TnT and after not getting what he wants, he uses the 'just because I'm black' crap to get into the main event. We know it's true, because Prodigy couldnt wrestle a good match even if someone paid him a million dollars to go out there and make an effort. I aint racist, I just find it hard that all black figures in wrestling are fast talking ghetto bitches off the streets. I wish someone would deport them to Africa, so we dont ever have to listen to their crap.

Nicky stops for a second, and takes a bottle of water out of his jacket pocket. Drinking almost half of the bottle, he puts it back into his pocket and shakes his head, as he looks down at the Kray Twins graves, and then looks up and back to the camera.

And to top things off, Jonny Fly is dead and everyone's all upset. Seriously, what's the big deal? Ever since he was born, I bet his mother has waited all her life for that to happen. He was nothing but a figure of bullshit. I'll buy a damn house for the person that did that! To me, I respect them for what they did. Vincent was just a joke, and I seriously hope someone puts the bitch to sleep. I would do it myself, but since the FBI are watching me closely, I cant do a damn thing except wish for it. The world is a better place now that Fly is dead, because we all know that deep down, he had no point to life expect to try convince himself he had a point to life.

Jesse Westcoat has also vowed to catch his killer! Oh no, run for the hills, Jesse is pissed off! Oh please, what's a thirteen year old loser like him going to do? Challenge them to a Pokemon match? Please understand that Jonny was a disgrace not only to himself, but to TnT Wrestling, and that a reject like you isn't exactly going to put the fear into Jonny's killer, it'll just convince them that nobody cares about Jonny, and that the only person who wants vengeance is a little kid. Next thing, we'll get the waterworks and Jesse will say "He was like a father to me." Do me a favour boy, and shut the fuck up and make a living. Your lucky you even have a job in TnT, because if it were up to me, I'd take you back to mommy and tell her, "Your son is a joke, and you shouldn't suffer as a result, so put him in an orphanage." And you know that will happen if you don't watch your words, because your mother must be ashamed of you.

This week, Marcel has finally done it this time towards the man that made him a millionaire, and he's put me into a battle royal and guess what? It's for a shot at the Television title! What the hell would I want that belt for? I won a Eurasian title shot, and instead they give it to the idiot of idiots, Vetalo? What has this world come to, for fucks sakes? However, Cundiff's into the match, which makes things a little better, since I can show him what real pain is like. The rest of them are losers just thrown into it for the sake of it. Mike Maddness? Dante? What the hell is this, a carnival? I've had it with Marcel's bullshit, and so gentlemen, this is why I assure you that you should run for the hills, because you are looking at a more ruthless, uncaring, unemotional bastard. I will show no mercy, as I break your bones and smash your internal organs, if I have to. I would like nothing more than to lock in that Legends Pain, to hear the wails and the screams of my opponents, to hear them beg for their good health. And who the fuck is Mike Wilson? ROOKIES! There is one man that could oppose me, and that is Jeremy. I assure you however, that I am the guaranteed winner whether you like it or not. I dont want the Television title and never have. Instead, I can beat the living crap out of Deadman, and send him running with his dick between his legs. Now if you excuse me, 'The Outlaw' has a plane to catch.

The Hollywood Icon and the Wrestling Legend walks away from the camera as the scene slowly fades to the TnT logo, and then finally to a commercial break.