Setting: ATF AU
Disclaimer: The following is a work of fanfiction based on the CBS television series, The Magnificent Seven. It is in no way intended to infringe on the copyrights of CBS, MGM, The Trilogy Entertainment Group, The Mirisch Corp., or anyone else who may have legal rights to the characters, settings or song references. I don't own the characters. This story is strictly for entertainment. No monetary gain will be made from anything contained in this story.
NOTE: I want to thank the kind, generous and understanding editor, aka KET, for effortlessly going through this with her red pen. Thanks Pard, you got no idea how relieved I am to have my 'assets' covered. I am very very grateful, KET, thanks a million.
Note "Never Say Goodbye' lyrics and sweet music by that other 'blue eyed 'boy, Jon Bon Jovi.
It was almost eleven a.m. when the three friends drove towards town. The rolling green hills were kissing the blue sky and the birds were singing. The older two men were departing on a three p.m. flight to Denver. Chris didn't say why they left the house early, but as the car turned down a dirt path towards a gray building next to a stadium, Vin got an idea.
"What kinda cheap tour is this? Leastwise ya coulda handed out them bitty cheese fishes."
"This the old stadium?" Buck glanced at the football field they pulled up next to.
"Yeah," Chris said, slipping out from behind the wheel.
Buck paused and waited for Vin to climb out of the car. Neither man missed the nostalgic longing in the blond's voice. They paused at the edge of the green field and watched him step back into time. Both found quiet smiles then, each reflecting on the man they knew and were proud to call friend.
He didn't stop until he was in the center of the fifty-yard line. His green eyes roamed over the empty seats in the stands. Suddenly, the mists of time parted and it was a cold December afternoon. The sky was gray and spilling snow. The place was packed with screaming fans. The score was tied and the chant rose through the swirling snow.
"Lar... a... bee.... Lar... a... bee... Lar... a... bee"
He jogged back a few feet, dodging the ghost of a linebacker and pulled his right arm back. He watched as the perfect spiral sailed through the blizzard right into the arms of his wide receiver. The clocked read 00:00 and the crowd screamed, causing a deafening roar.
"TOUCHDOWN!"
Vin and Buck both laughed, watching their usually stoic blond friend whooping and celebrating, both arms in the air. They slowly followed as he sprinted downfield, still hearing those fans. By the time they caught up to him, the winded quarterback was in the end zone.
"Pride of the wolfpack!" Vin clapped his back.
"What a day that was..." Chris's voice trailed off as he eyed the stadium seats. "Score tied, less than minute to go, snowin' like hell. I let 'er rip just as a huge linebacker nailed me." He grinned like a drunken sailor then. "God, it was great!"
"Looks like you still have some moves," Buck laughed.
"You know, it looks a lot smaller." The green eyes roamed again.
"That's cause yer ass is old," Vin teased. "So where's the tour headed next?"
"Guess we'll have to wait and find out," Buck replied as the blond jogged away again with his imaginary football tucked under his arm.
"Just like a Norman Rockwell picture," Buck stated of Main Street. It could have easily been 1950. The quaint shops were easy on the eye and the lone traffic light was suspended from a wire stretching across the street.
"Tinker's Hardware," Vin read aloud.
"My first job, I worked after school and weekends." Chris got out of the car and peered in the window. Then he moved to the door, holding it for his two friends.
"Make yourself to home, I'll be right out."
"Take your time, Gus," Chris called back.
"Well, you're a sight for sore eyes, son. I heard you were back in town. How are you?"
"I'm fine, Gus, this is Vin Tanner and Buck Wilmington, my friends from Denver. You look great!" Chris exuded, mentally calculating.
"Eighty-three next month," the old man boasted. "My grandson runs the place now. I come in a couple hours a day. You remember Billy?"
"Yeah, he was in the army when I was in school."
"I sure was angry when them bastards took you two," he nodded at the long-haired young man slightly behind Larabee, recalling the horrible kidnapping. After the young man nodded back, he continued. "The wife and me prayed for you. The whole town did..."
"Thanks," Vin supplied, shaking the old man's hand.
"Thanks, Gus, I believe in the power of prayer," Chris noted, "I appreciate that."
Vin and Buck followed Chris around the tidy shop as the old man and the blond caught up. Twenty minutes later, they were back at the door.
"We're on our way to the airport. I wanted to show Buck and Vin some of my old hangouts. It was great seeing you, Gus."
"Same here, Chris, give my best to your folks."
"Nice old guy," Buck nodded as they hit the street again.
"Yeah, Gus was okay." Chris eyed the street. He pointed across the way to a nail salon. "That used to be Magee's Record Shop. You couldn't move in there, it was so crowded. And that," he pointed to a Donut Shop, "was Crane's. He had the best comic books and superhero junk."
It wasn't often Vin got to see his best friend glowing with nostalgia, so he intended to soak up every ray of light that beamed from those green eyes. He let the older men walk slightly ahead of him, watching as Chris pointed out old haunts. Then at the end of the street, he paused and a drunken grin split his face.
"Damn... Duke's... my God..."
Buck followed Larabee's eyes across the street to a silver and art deco vision right out of the past. It sat alone with parking on three sides. The word 'Duke's' was scrawled in pale pink, green and yellow lights.
"I guess every kid in high school had one," Buck mused. "For me, it was Pop's, a burger joint with cracked vinyl seats and greasy floors... but that old man made a mint off us kids."
Vin nodded; his teenage years were painful. Losing his father had taken him to a dark place. He spent those turbulent years in New Mexico with his grandfather, a Cheyenne. He knew most kids like Buck and Chris had had a place like this they hung out in. By the dopey grin plastered on Larabee's face, it sure must have been something special.
Chris walked through the chrome and glass door and stepped back in time. Gone were the trials and tribulations of a career complete with flying bullets. The biggest decision of the week would be how to get his old man's car for a moonlight spin by the lake. He went numb, letting his eyes roam around the room. The booths that hugged the walls hadn't changed in twenty years. They still had the same lousy Formica tables, the same black and white prints of James Dean, and a youthful Marlon Brando and other stars of the nineteen-fifties hanging on the walls.
He closed his eyes and heard the voices come back. They'd pile in here after football practice. Mike and Tyler would be betting on a game, any game. Steve would be combing his hair and worrying on a pimple cropping out to ruin his perfect face. Ted and Billy would be ogling girls and making disgusting comments, whistling and hooting. And Nick, old Nick would be bragging about the night before and Angela 'I can't handle her' Cannelli and her magic thighs. The smell of pizza and burgers and fries would fill the air and playing in the background over the noise of the teenaged crowd would be Aerosmith, the Who, Styx or the Stones.
"Hey, Vin, my cell phone's not working. They got a payphone outside. I'm gonna call and check on the flight. I need to call Josiah too, he's picking us up."
"Okay," Vin nodded. Not wishing to disturb his best friend's trip into the past, he ambled over to the counter and hopped up on a stool. The rectangular room had a small counter near the kitchen with a cluster of tables. A few locals were nibbling on lunch. Vin eyed the old fashioned milk-shake machines, donut and cake trays and other items he'd only seen in movies.
"What can I do for you, honey?"
"Oh... uh... I'll have... a milkshake and a hunk o'cake..."
"Chocolate?" she guessed and saw the winning smile. "I knew it..."
Chris wandered over to the vintage jukebox and eyed the rows of records underneath the glass. He flipped through it, recalling all too well dancing, or rather grinding, with Pam many a hot night. There was something about the way her backside fit into those jeans that took dancing to a whole new level. He heard Vin laughing somewhere behind him and turned halfway, then his heart almost stopped. His smile widened and his eyes grew moist. He turned back to the music box, skimmed the records and found one... the right one. He popped a bunch of quarters inside, punched the numbers and waited.
�As I sit in this smoky room. . .
The night about to end. . .
I pass my time with strangers. . .
But this bottle's my only friend..."
"Here you go, honey." She put the large, rich thick shake in front of the wide-eyed cutie and a hefty piece of chocolate cake. The song caught her ear and she cocked her head, humming along. Then a voice as painfully sweet as Bon Jovi's caught her ear.
"Remember when we used to park. . . On Butler Street out in the dark. . .Remember when we lost the keys..." Chris paused, gently using his hand to turn her around. He kept his fingers on her chin and let his smile melt her heart again. "...And you lost more than that in my backseat. . ."
"Oh, my God... Chris!"
It didn't seem real. Her body exploded in pins and needles from her toes right up to her blue eyes. Unconsciously, she swept the damp errant bangs off her forehead and wished she'd started that diet three months ago. She couldn't take her eyes off his face. That strong jaw, those cheekbones, that blond hair and the glorious smile. But the eyes, those magnificent eyes that she used to dream out. As Jon Bon Jovi beckoned from the jukebox, he held his hand out.
"Go on, Pam, I got it..." Carrie Malone, the other waitress, shoved her star struck friend into the handsome blond's arms. If there was a body born for black jeans, it was this man. She fanned herself, wondering why the temperature shot up all of a sudden.
He didn't speak; he didn't want to ruin the moment. He knew from the look in her eyes that she was back twenty years before. He knew she was thinking about those dances on this same floor, for hours on end it seemed. Stolen kisses and hot caresses... God, she had the silkiest brown hair curling down past her shoulders. So he let her melt in his arms and he sang to her, just like he had back then.
"Remember when we used to talk. . .
About busting out —
we'd break their hearts. . .
Together — Forever ..."
Together — Forever.
She thought on just how much she'd hoped and prayed that summer. That endless summer between high school and eternity. Sweet summer nights by the lake, lost in his arms. Dancing for hours and inhaling that wonderful combination of sweat and cologne. Kissing him... and shuddering under his touch.
September.
The end of forever. No more magic nights by the lake or moonlight swims. No more watching his wet skin turn silver under the eyes of the moon. College called and life went on. He went to West Point and she went down the aisle... as someone else's bride. But when summer came, she went alone to that lake and cried under the moon... remembering.
"Never say goodbye, never say goodbye.
You and me and my old friends...
hoping it would never end.
Never say goodbye, never say goodbye.
Holdin' on — we got to try...
holdin' on to never say goodbye ."
He felt the wet tears before the soft sob came. That hurt a little, the gutted pain that only the touch of nostalgia can cause. He thought on how when you're eighteen, you're invincible. You're the Apollo come down from Mt Olympus. She was the queen of his days and the heat of his nights. What a sweet summer, when he'd turned from boy to man. What a generous lover and giver of dreams she was, his first 'true love'. He held her a little closer and sang along, reveling in all that had been and lived on forever in his memories.
"Remember at the prom that night
You and me we had a fight
But the band they played our favorite song
And I held you in my arms so strong
We danced so close we danced so slow
And I swore I'd never let you go...
Together — Forever..."
God, he still smelled great, a heady mix of leather and cologne and he felt even better. Lean and hard and still wearing that killer smile. Whatever happened to forever? Would the promises made in passion under a sultry summer moon have faded in the harsh winter sun? Would the delicious taste that only youth can provide have been enough when money got tight? Maybe... just maybe... remembering was sweeter. Because on those summer nights, when she stood alone under that blushing moon, he was still eighteen and her champion. Maybe, that was forever... that dream would always be eternally sweet.
She moved back then as the song faded out and the tears ran freely. She cupped his face and was awed by how much he still meant. That smile and those eyes still caused her heart to skip a beat. So she found her voice and told him so.
" ...Never say goodbye, never say goodbye.
Holdin' on — we got to try...
I guess you'd say we used to talk...
about busting out, we'd break their hearts
Together — forever..."
"Never say goodbye..." Chris finished, kissing her softly on the cheek. "How are you, Pam?"
She wanted to tell him about her life, her family and all the in-betweens that small talk provided. But instead, her hands found his face and when her lips parted, it was from her heart.
"Thank you, Golden Boy, for taking this middle-aged, tired woman with twenty pounds too many..." She caught her breath as those green eyes danced and worked their magic. "...back to the edge of seventeen again. You'll always be my hero..."
"You anglin' for a ride out to the lake?" Chris teased.
"God, that's a scary thought," she laughed. "I could run into one of my kids. You're forgetting how old I am."
"I didn't forget," Chris inspired, brushing her hair back. "You�ve got great hair. I used to drown in it." He paused, tipping her chin up. "And you're a beautiful woman now, not a pretty girl. I'll never forget you, Cassiopeia."
"Oh... oh..." She turned away, covering her mouth with her hand.
"I'm sorry..." He touched her shoulder and she shook her head, tears streaming.
"No," she denied, touching his cheek. "Don't be. I haven't heard... nobody ever... called... me... that... but... you... God..." She walked to the side of the counter, taking a handful of napkins to dry her eyes. That was his special name for her, his 'queen of the heavens.' That's what he�d call her after they shared their love. He'd hold her close and whisper to her, taking her tears and her breathe away. He was her king and she would have died for him. Composing herself, she turned back and gave him a hug.
"I never forgot you, Golden Boy."
"GOLDEN BOY!"
"Aw shit!" Chris cursed softy when a loud drawl, half-choked and half laughter, interrupted his sweet trip down memory lane.
"Golden boy, huh?" Vin's eyes were dancing. He'd not missed what transpired and was glad he'd seen this new side to his best friend.
"Where's Buck?"
"Out yonder, yakkin' with Josiah." Vin cleared his throat and raised his eyebrows.
"Oh, Pam, this long-haired drawlin' fool is my friend, Vin Tanner." He turned and shook his head. "Vin, you want to do something with that mustache?"
"Huh?" Vin frowned and then picked his napkin up. "Sorry... ya make a wicked shake, ma'am."
"Ma'am!" she laughed. "Oh, I like you, honey. You're too cute."
"Yeah, he's real cute," Chris groaned.
"Nice t'meet ya, Miss..."
"Mrs. Pam Panichelli."
"Panichelli?" Vin pursed his brow. "Ain't that the name o'one them wolves ya ran with?"
"Nick, best wide receiver I ever played with. Is he here?"
"No." She waved to a departing customer. "I still can't believe we own this place. It's not the Waldorf, but I wouldn't trade it. Nick's visiting colleges in Maryland and Delaware with our oldest boy, Tony."
"He's old enough for college?" Chris was amazed. "Man, where did the years go?"
"We'll be married eighteen years this fall. He's a good guy, a great father. We're very happy.�
"Raising a football team..." Chris saluted. "They all play?"
"All four. My last hope, my little Michael, turned on me last year after he turned eight. He traded his piano lessons for cleats." She saw a tall, handsome man with a mustache walking towards them.
"Hey, Darlin!' Buck winked and elbowed his blond friend. "I saw you while I was on the phone. You don't move too bad for an old timer, but you need to work on your hand-skimming-over-the-butt move. Guess at least some of my talent brushed off on you." He extended his hand. "Buck Wilmington, at your service. You part of the tour?"
"Tour?"
"Chris's havin' him a Geritol moment," Vin began only to have ice shoved down his back. As his lanky friend cursed and did a wicked dance to dispel the frozen objects, the green-eyed prankster intervened.
"Buck and I are heading back to Denver this afternoon. I was showing them the stadium and some of the old places."
"You got time to eat? I make a wicked pie..."
"Aw hell, I'm starved," Vin decided and watched Chris's right brow arch at the empty plate and large mug. "What? I had me a snack whilst ya was gropin' the help..."
The hour went fast over two pizzas, mugs of beer and way too much laughter. Buck and Vin waited outside as Chris said goodbye. While Buck began to talk about the traffic and what road to use, Vin's eyes never left the two people on the other side of the glass. Then he got an idea and a Tanner smile split his face. Chris finally appeared next to the car just as he got out.
"We're leaving, Vin..."
"I'll be right back, I gotta go."
"Again!"
"Shut up, Buck!" Vin sassed with a one finger salute before heading inside.
He paused and waited until he was out of view of the car and waved to the pretty owner. Once she moved over to where he stood, his eyes strayed to a photo on the wall nearby.
"Ma'am..?"
"It's Pam..."
"Pam..." he corrected. "I got a favor. I need yer help...".
It didn't take long and Chris wasn't surprised. They weren't two miles up the road yet when the chuckling began in the back seat. He cast his eyes in the rearview mirror and saw that impish Tanner grin flipping around. Then the animated blues met his cool greens in the mirror.
"Hey, Golden Boy, ya best keep yer eyes on the road."
"Vin..." Chris started, only to be cut off.
"I'm gonna make a mint outta this. T-shirts, sweatshirts... mebbe some coffee mugs... make 'em Larabee Black with 'Golden Boy' on the front..."
"Vin, I'm warning you. If you say one word..."
"...course once I bend Ezra's ear and twist 'im all up, I'll have 'im rent out that big ol' billboard by the exit near work."
"Don't encourage him, Buck," Chris warned when Wilmington's mouth began to twitch.
"Sure thing, Goldie..." Buck chimed, laughing as Vin prattled on.
"...get the picture yer Ma has of ya when ya was a little sprout with yella hair... nekkid and grinnin' like a jackass. Plaster it all over that sign... Golden Boy..." Vin crowed, happy with his plans. "Hell, I can git the kid to put up a website..."
Chris just groaned and shook his head; Buck laughed harder and gave his arm a sympathetic pat.
"You best give up, Golden Boy, you know you'll never catch that boy."
"Hey... jockstraps... black leather with Lil' Golden Sprout wrote on it. Course, we'd have to make it bitsy print... given the source."
"That's not funny, Buck..." Chris tried, but the other man was convulsing. He gave up then; Buck was right. When Vin got rolling, nobody could catch him.
As the flight took off, Chris kept thinking of the rambling blue-eyed terrier in the back seat and his mind's eye drew up a picture of that billboard. Then another with him in the jockstrap on that billboard. He laughed softly, eased his legs out straight and let his eyes shut. He was going home. Vin was healed and would follow in a week or so. The last hurdle was seeing Buck through his surgery.
And hoping that it wouldn't be the last roundup for the seven.
Chris tossed the two month old issue of Time to the side and winced as Regis Philbin's show came on. It had been a busy week. He'd had meetings with Orrin and the brass and gone to the doctor's. He needed a complete physical to get re-certified to return to active duty. He had two more weeks of therapy and then he'd return to get checked again. Vin's physical was scheduled for the same time, in two weeks when they'd return together.
The team was in Grand Junction following up on a trail left by an arsonist. Three factories that all had prior citations for environmental issues had been torched. The latest one was in Grand Junction and the M.O. was the same as the two in Denver. J.D. and Ezra were the leads, with Josiah and Nathan doing profiling and background.
He looked up when a slim woman approached bearing two cups of coffee.
"Here."
"Thanks, Inez." He patted the seat next to him. "You okay?"
"He was so nervous last night. He didn't eat, didn't say a word..."
"He must be distracted. Man would have to be blind not to notice you."
"Thanks." She took his hand and gave it a tug. She sipped her coffee and eyed the clock again. "How much longer?"
"Shouldn't be too long." He turned and caught the pretty woman's eye. "He's a lucky man."
"Damn straight!" she nodded, laughed and rested her head on the strong shoulder. "I'm the lucky one. He's like the knights I used to read about."
"Riding off into the sunset on a white horse?"
"Something like that,� she sighed. �This is the forever kind, Chris. I ache for him. I need him, he completes me. He sings me to sleep at night, wakes me with soft kisses..."
"Damn, I thought I was the only one he did that for," Chris teased, lifting her hand and kissing it. "All the best, Inez. I'm happy for both of you." He laughed then, shook his head and laughed again.
"What?" She narrowed her dark eyes.
"Flash forward about eighteen years. Buck on the front porch with a shotgun and every sixteen year old boy in the county getting buckshot in the butt. I hope you have all boys..."
"No, all girls..."
"God, he'll be bald by the time he's fifty!"
So caught up in the playful bantering, the pair almost didn't see the green scrubs enter the waiting room.
"Mister Larabee?"
"Yes, this is Buck's ...uh..."
"Significant other?" the doctor smiled. "I know, he spoke of you. Inez, right?"
"S�... yes.. How is he? Was the operation a success? When can I see him?"
"Groggy, I'm very confident it was and after he gets out of recovery."
"How very?" Chris drilled.
"It went well... very well. I'd say his batting average just skyrocketed. We'll know more as he goes through therapy. I've done this procedure enough times to get a good feel for success."
"Thanks, Doc... how long? I mean with the therapy. Buck's gonna drive me nuts asking," Chris inquired.
"He'll start right away. We'll test his nerve function and then proceed from there. Then the usual PT. He mentioned his dexterity problems, that should disappear. I'd say in a couple weeks we'll know for sure."
"Thank you, doctor, so very much." She shook his hand. "Where will he go?"
"The fifth floor most likely, that's the post-op floor. The nurse up there will have his orders. It won't be for a couple hours yet."
"Okay, I'll wait. Chris?"
"Go on, Inez. I'll update the guys. I want to call home too. I'll be up later." He gave her a hug and kissed her forehead. "Besides, I'm sure it's your face he'll be looking for."
Vin sighed and slid his slim body into the hard plastic seat. The Food Court at the mall was crowded and the giggling teenagers were wearing on his nerves. He lifted the double bacon cheeseburger and mega fries out of the box. The old woman in front of him felt sorry for him and carried his soda over. As he devoured the meal, he continued to think. He shoved the half eaten fries away and sucked on his soda. He didn't realize it would be this hard. He lifted his body up, took the tray to the stand and dumped the trash. He continued through the mall, eyeing the brightly colored signs over the stores.
Nothing.
He was leaving in less than a week and he wanted to find something special for the Larabees. He wanted to thank them for all they'd given him. He'd searched in town at the antique stores and then caught the bus here to the mall. He'd trooped through the various department stores, been assaulted by the cologne demon and hit the smaller stores as well. All he had to show for it was two sore feet. He didn't want them to know he was shopping. Kate would have a fit if she caught wind of his intentions. The General had dropped him off that morning, told him that he'd been moping too long. The older man suggested a movie and maybe a walk around town. He eyed his watch and headed for the mall exit. He had to catch the bus back to town and meet Adam at three p.m.
He was walking behind a young couple with three kids and they held the door for him.
"Thanks," he nodded to the boy who was wearing a uniform with 'Tigers' written across the front. Vin's head cocked and a smile formed. He kept that thought as he rode back to town, getting off one stop early and heading for the store. Ten minutes later, with his prize tucked into his backpack, he was headed to the park.
One gift down, one to go.
As he waited for the General, he ate an ice cream cone and watched a young woman in the grass nearby. The child with her who had the same smile and bright red curls was about two. He couldn't help but smile as he watched the child laugh and play, running and rolling in the grass. Then he saw the look on the tiny face as she held her little arms up.
"Tanner, if ya had a brain, ye'd be dangerous..." he muttered, sighed and finished his cone. His job was now done.
"Welcome back," Inez whispered, kissing his cheek and fingering his hair.
"Worth spittin' up for," Buck croaked, his stomach still twirling. "What happened?"
"You had a bad trip back from La La land..." She held out a spoon filled with ice chips. "Careful... good." She waited and eyed the pale face. She sat on the edge of the bed and held his hand. Her smile said it before the words did.
"Yeah?" he guessed and the dark head bobbed.
"We won't know until they test your nerves..."
"Hell, Vin and J.D. could do that for free."
"...and you have to do therapy but... Buck, he's very encouraged. He does this all the time and said he felt sure you aced it."
"Thank God!" Buck sighed and clenched his fist in a victory sign. He felt the hand on his face and raised his own up, pulling her down and kissing her gently. "Make me a promise?"
"Depends, is there whipped cream and handcuffs involved...?"
"Don't do that," Buck chuckled painfully. "Damn, that was a great night... We gotta get more... chocolate next time." He grew serious then, stroking her cheek. "Promise me that you'll wake me up like that for the next fifty years or so?"
"Oh, Buck...!"
Chris backed up from the doorway as the lovers reunited, sharing soft kisses and caresses. He eyed the water fountain and got a drink, then he went to the bathroom. Finally he returned, peeked in again and saw the room empty except for the patient.
"Seems that ass of yours made quite an impression with the 7 to 3 shift."
"Hey, Chris... I'm okay. Well, most of me. Stomach isn't quite up to snuff yet. Sit down," Buck nodded. "Inez told me you've been here all day."
"Beats doing paperwork," Chris sighed. "Even with the kid getting rid of the junk mail, I still have like three hundred emails left. Six new cases, four pending, three trials..."
"Vacation's over?"
"And how!" Chris leaned over and put something around the other man's neck. "Back where it belongs."
"It's a little premature," Buck said thickly, fingering his badge that was suspended from a thin black cord.
"Sure thing," Chris guaranteed. "I hate the number six. Besides, you're the only one who can put the color cartridges in the printer."
"Well, damn!" Buck laughed, sharing the moment. He fingered that badge and felt his emotions rising. "I was scared, Chris..."
"Hell, Buck, anybody would be. You think I wasn't? Every day in therapy when my muscles and my knee were screaming, I was scared shitless."
"You didn�t show it..."
"I didn't have time to dwell on it. I was more afraid for Vin. Amnesia is a helluva lot scarier than retirement." He paused, eyeing his wedding ring. "Imagine if I lost Sara like that... her touch... her voice..." He shook his head.
"I feel like we've been in a long dark tunnel and we're just now hittin' daylight."
"Yeah," Chris agreed. "Funny, the whole time I was at my folks, I slept pretty good. Since I got back, I've been havin' nightmares. Bull 'fuckin' Savage... in that jungle."
"You buried it cause of Vin. Now that's done..." He paused, pushing the button to raise up in the bed. "You wanna talk about it?"
"You gonna puke on me?" Chris narrowed his eyes, deflecting the situation for a moment.
"Fuck you, Larabee!" Buck grinned, offering his hand. "Thanks, Chris. You made that dark place a lot easier."
"Wasn't for you I'd be worm food, Buck. You don't owe me a damn thing,� he decided, settling in his chair. "Where'd Inez go?"
"There's a bachelor party tonight at the Saloon and she had work to do. She'll be back later..." He wagged his eyebrows. "With some oil..."
"Buck, I just ate!" Larabee wrinkled his nose. "Could be she'll come to her senses. Must have been quite a concussion."
"Funny," Buck sassed, reaching for the ice.
"Here." Chris poured a whole cup full. He poured himself a cup of water and tapped the other. "All the best, Bucko..."
"Thanks."
Buck eased his head back on the pillow and waited. It took a few more moments before Chris was ready. But then he spoke of the nightmares and the dark time spent in the jungle. Every so often, a nurse would pause in the doorway, watching the two handsome men speaking quietly. A light tray came up for dinner and the sick man ate; the other never left his side. He was still there when the broth came back up. The shift changed and a new nurse came to check on the patient. Both he and his visitor were sleeping. She took the patient's vitals and recorded them, then paused to shake the arm of the blond man sleeping in the chair.
"Sorry," Chris yawned. "He okay?"
"He's more than okay," Buck replied, then winked at the young nurse. "Darlin', come back about ten or so, bring lots of sponges."
Chris just groaned and stood, shaking the hand offered.
"Nathan's driving back tonight. I'm meeting him and Rain for dinner. He's got some kind of test to take for his EMT certs."
"He'll pass, he's been studying for a month," Buck decided as the yawning man stumbled into the bathroom.
"You need a ride in the morning?"
"Nah, Inez's gonna pick me up," Buck answered the muffled voice, then the blond reappeared.
"Okay, pard," Chris nodded. "It's time for me to hit the trail. I'll see you tomorrow."
He paused by the door and eyed his healing friend in the bed. He thought on the deep conversation they'd shared about life, fears and doubts. He closed the door quietly and headed for his car. He wasn't dreading the fall of darkness tonight. Somehow, he knew he'd sleep better.
The sky was especially brilliant tonight and he felt that was only fitting. It was a stunning shade between rose and magenta with streaks of purple. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply when a soft breeze lifted his hair.
"You need a haircut."
Vin smiled as a small hand tugged his locks and a kiss landed on his cheek.
"It ain't jest anybody I let touch m'hair," he boasted. "Dinner was great. Ya outdone yerself. Them steaks was somethin' else."
"Well, now, it's a shame you're full, son," Adam said seriously, then turned to his bride. "What should we do with that triple chocolate cheesecake?"
"Aw, hell!" Vin sat up. "Ya can put a slab right here!"
"That's my boy," Kate bragged, rubbing the soft denim back of the shirt. "Milk?"
"No, ma'am, I think some of that fancy coffee..."
"Viennese Cinnamon..." Adam nodded. "I'll get it, Kate."
While the happily married pair were in the kitchen, Vin walked into the foyer and took his backpack back outside with him. He fidgeted and squirmed while waiting for them to return. Finally, the door opened and Kate approached bearing a confectionary creation that awed him.
"I think I jest died and went t'heaven," Vin moaned, mouth watering.
"The bottom is dark chocolate cheesecake, the middle is Swiss chocolate mousse and the top is white chocolate cream."
"Denver's awful nice..." Vin cast his best eyes on the pretty lady. "Take pity on a one-armed orphan..."
"Oh, Vin," she laughed, hugging him from behind. "Lord, am I gonna miss my blue-eyed boy!"
"So will every bakery and candy store in town," Adam noted, putting a tray down bearing a carafe and three mugs.
Vin laughed and then felt his chest tighten. He was going to miss them and this place. This special place... this healing place. He�d been like a baby bird with no mother who'd broken a wing. Now, thanks to the nest that had become his home, he could fly again. Then a warmth flooded every fiber inside, giving him a glow.
"What?" Kate saw the high color and saw his eyes filling.
"Ya know... when I was a little feller and growin' up... my Dad took me t'church every Sunday. We'd get there early and watch the folks come inside. There'd be old folks, holdin' hands and all gussied up. Then there'd be younger ones with a pack of kids. He'd get in first, all them kids would pile in the pew and she'd be on the end, totin' a little one."
He paused, swiping at his eyes. "It'd be slung over her shoulder, chompin' on its little fist, slobberin' the hell all over... " He choked, taking a breath and nodding when Kate moved behind him to rub his shoulders.
"The little ones in the pew would get t' carryin' on and the Dad would grab a few and warn 'em, sometimes givin' em a butt swat. I'd watch that little one reachin' them little hands up... touchin' her face. Them eyes... they knew... they... knew... they were safe... tucked up good with their Ma."
His voice wavered and he had to stop and swallow hard. He took a good breath and turned, taking Kate's hand. "I'd get s'cold inside, turtle right up in the pew, tryin' t'fill that hole in m'gut."
"Oh, Vin..." Kate's voice broke.
"No." He smiled then, so warm and sincere it seemed to light up the twilight. He stood up and held his arm out, embracing her. "I ain't cold no more... fer the first time since my Dad..." He broke off then as a lone tear snuck out.
Adam rose then, walked over and cast one strong hand on the young man's shoulder and the other around his wife. He thought on those words Chris had shared with him that night, the ones that came from deep inside this special young man. He almost sensed Captain Paul Tanner in the shadows, beaming with pride.
"Damn straight!" he lauded, then gave the blue shirt a pat. "You slobber on that cake and you better keep moving."
Vin chuckled and moved to sit back down, acknowledging their support but indicating he was fine. He accepted the coffee and even the teasing barbs from the General when he dumped sugar in the mug. He polished off a good-sized piece of the rich dessert, then his hand moved.
"I tried practicin' all day. Inside in m'room, the words came out great. But now... they're twisted all up."
"Is this going to take long?" Adam teased, then winked as his wife. He knew Vin was struggling hard to say something. "Kate, you know how coffee works on me."
"Adam!"
Vin laughed and felt some of the tension ebb. He handed the first package to the strong man, someone he'd grown to not only admire but care for deeply. It was so easy to see why he was drawn to Chris when he saw the master's hand. He watched those strong features so like his best friend�s. He saw it before the audible gasp. He let out the air he'd been holding and smiled; it was the right gift.
Adam stared at the soft leather object inside the paper. With great reverence, he lifted it, caressing it gently and marveling at the perfection of it. Not the physical sense but the metaphysical. The emotional and psychological wonder of it, all tied up like the fine leather laces that he now fingered.
"Ya wanna... have... a ... keh...keh... catch...?" Vin choked, his voice and heart full.
Adam lifted the baseball glove and pressed it to his chest. He stood and walked over to where the young man sat and his heart was full. He saw that lost soul again, the one who fell inside the door during a raging storm. The lost boy who was searching for his father. A broken voice and a shattered heart. He'd never forget that night when he became the father to another man's son. One he'd grown to love like his own. He knew this gift, this fine treasure, was Vin Tanner's way of reaching out. So under the stars, with the summer sky a brilliant rhapsody of color, he was gifted a second time, some thirty-eight years after the first.
"I'd like that...." His voice cracked and he held the side of the strong young man's face. "...son..."
Vin closed his eyes and inhaled sharply at that touch and the short embrace that followed. He felt the General's hand on his back as he moved away. Vin turned sideways and saw a look of such raw emotion as those dark eyes lovingly swept over the baseball glove that it stole his breath. But he wiped his eyes, took a sip of coffee and turned his attention to the embodiment of grace and beauty. She was sobbing softly, unable to speak. He reached inside his bag and took it out.
"She nurtures an' teaches, the giver o' life. Her grace rains down and cradles her babe. He thrives and grows, strong an' true. He walks tall, with an open heart and the light o'justice shinin' from his eyes. Her gift, given long before he was born, tucked away in his heart greets 'im every morn. For when he sees her face, he sees the hand of God. This picture o'grace opened her arms and held a broken soul. She loved 'im, cradled 'im and kissed his fears away. His hole..." He choked, took a breath and continued. "...inside healed. She, giver o'life and therein that which is held above all others... is called... ma... ma..." He swallowed hard, "... Mother."
She wasn't able to move or see through the tears that ran down her face. She began to tremble and he moved then, got up and walked over to her, hugged her to his chest with his good arm. She pressed her face against the edge of warm skin where the shirt was unbuttoned. She heard his heart beat and closed her eyes, embracing that sound. Her boy... her blue-eyed boy... her special son.
"Ya like it?" Vin teased.
"It's a keeper," she choked, sitting back down. "What's this?"
"Reckon ye'll have t'open it."
Vin sat down on the bench next to her and watched as the General moved closer. Her fingers were trembling as they undid the wrapping paper. She stared at the soft brown leather volume for several minutes before picking it up. As she opened it, his voice answered the question in her eyes.
"Ever since m'box opened, I've been shufflin' through, puttin' things in order. When I first woke up in that hospital, hell, I didn't know where I was. I was hurtin', thought I was dyin'. I was confused, lost in a dark place. Fevered up and scared. Then there was a hand on m'face and a soft voice. A mother's touch. Jest 'bout stole all m'air," he recalled as he took her hand. "I felt ya, Kate. Deep down inside, somethin' happened. So I been writin' and scratchin' all m'thoughts, prayers and poems in that book. It's m'healin' place, the path home. It's everythin' I had inside all wrote out. Took up the whole book. Jest finished it before supper."
"It's... unbelievable... Vin. I don't... know... what to say... Adam? Did you see?"
"No, but the look in your eyes, Kate... I can see the reflection," he noted warmly. "Fine job, son."
"I went t'town today t'git ya a present. I wanted t'find somethin' t'thank ya fer all ya done fer this busted up cowboy."
"Vin, you didn't have to..." Kate started only to be cut off.
"Let me finish," he squeezed that hand. "I searched and hunted and got madder n'hell. Nothin' fit. I had a feelin' inside and wanted something in a box that would be the same. I wasn't thinkin' right. But once I found the glove fer the General, I took me an ice cream break."
"Of course you did," Adam teased.
"There was a young girl in the park with her little one. Cuter than a June bug... crazy red hair flyin' around and a smile..." He grinned then. "But every time she fell down, she lifted her hands up and her little face would be shinin'. She knew... like all babies... who ain't tainted yet... still got their innocence. She knew her mother's touch." He leaned over and kissed her cheek then and flipped to the back of the book.
"Is that you?" she exclaimed, eyeing the color photo image. "...and Chris. But how?" The photo was of two boys, each about two years old. One was a sunny blond with the rosy cheeks of a cherub and keen green eyes. The other was a wavy brown haired tot with huge blue eyes and a shy smile. The shots were from the neck up and surrounded by a misty halo. It was a fantastic image.
"J.D. done it fer me. I scanned Chris's picture from yer album and he got the other one from my place. He emailed the other day. See, I was gonna put it in a frame fer ya. Then I seen that baby in the park and I realized I had the gift all along."
"Yes," she clasped the book to her chest and touched his face, "you did. Your heart, my beautiful blue-eyed boy's heart... you gave me your heart."
"Depends on how ya look at it," Vin teased. "From where I'm sittin', ya stole it."
Long after the night grew still and quiet, when even the crickets had gone to bed, he lay awake. Getting up, he padded downstairs and went outside, shivering as the cold night air hit him. He stood barefoot and sent his eyes to the stars above. He felt her close then, as if she were right there with him. He wanted her to know, to understand and maybe, to give her blessing.
"Ain't she somethin', Ma?"
The winds kicked up but it was a warm breeze, an unnatural twist of air that engulfed him. He was assaulted by the strong scent of lavender.
Her scent.
The lid on his box opened and dust blew off an old picture. He saw a rocking chair, a calico blanket and felt a gentle hand as he was rocked. Another face appeared, over a hospital bed and another touch.
He knew then.
The lavender scent lingered and he wanted to bottle it up, to savor and remember her. But he nodded, smiled and accepted her reply. How could he not have known? It was her hand that held him during that darkness. She then led him back to the land of the living and gently lowered him into Kate Larabee�s open arms.
"Ya done that," he whispered, tapping his heart. "Fer me. I love ya, Ma..."
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