Setting: OW
Chris eyed the nearly deserted saloon carefully through the batwing doors before entering. It was too early for Ezra to be up, Josiah was picking up new windows at the train depot east of town, Nathan was at the Seminole camp and he saw J.D. heading for the telegraph office. He figured the chore the youth was completing would take a good bit of time, so breakfast this morning would be a threesome.
"Mornin' Chris," Buck's head lifted as the somber figure entered. He refilled the Texan's cup and turned his face back to Larabee's. "Coffee?"
"Thanks," Chris consented and took the empty chair next to Vin, who appeared to be still half asleep. The tracker's head was dipping and Chris moved the mug from Vin's hand, before the hot liquid ended up in his lap. He placed the mug well across the table and wondered about Buck's unusual high spirits. The leader sipped his own strong brew and studied his oldest friend closely. The buoyancy in Buck's blue eyes was more than a little unsettling. He watched the tall man fidgeting in his chair and got a sinking feeling in his gut.
"Buck..." he said suspiciously, watching the dark blue eyes shining in triumphant glee. Before the mustached-man replied, Vin slumped forward. The younger man's head would have hit the table, if not for the black-clothed arm that shot out and halted his progress. "What the hell did you do?" Chris hissed, standing and easing Vin back into the chair. He tapped the Texan's face but the blue eyes never opened. "Vin?" The sinister laugh behind him caused the green eyes to narrow. He kept one hand on Vin's shoulder and turned to face the chortling rogue.
"Aw, for Christ's sake Chris," Buck lamented, moving in to capture his slumbering bounty. "Get the burr outta your britches, will you?" But the man in black didn't budge, keeping his lean torso between Buck and his blue-eyed prize. The tall man sighed in exasperation and his hand went through his dark hair. "Look, it's been over a week since he got free of that sling. He's gained some weight back, he's aim's almost perfect again," he relayed of the target practice the recovering man had been taking. He paused and huffed again as the lean body didn't move an inch, still blocking his path. "It's only some laudanum, just enough to keep him quiet until I finish getting him ready."
"Ready?" Chris exhaled, not sure if he wanted to know what was spinning around behind Buck's twinkling eyes. "If he ends up back at Nathan's..."
"Do you ever fuckin' listen to me?" Buck shot through clenched teeth. "I told you, weeks ago, when I got this idea... so listen up, I'm only repeating it once." Buck leaned in and grit his teeth. "I'd never hurt him."
Chris stared hard at Buck's angry face, before relenting. He moved aside and Buck slid in, grabbing the motionless man under the arms. "Well?" the voice grunted, as the head turned back, seeking assistance. "No way," Chris denied, taking his seat. "In case you didn't hear me... I don't have a death wish."
"It's brilliant," Buck beamed, slinging Vin over his shoulder, "Buck's revenge and raisin' money for a good cause too," he grunted, shifting his feet. "You see..."
"Save your breath." Chris put a hand up. He heard Inez clattering pans as the succulent aroma of frying peppers and sausage filled the room. He shook his head as the other man left, whistling happily. Chris sighed and raised his coffee to his lips. "When will you learn not to play with fire, Buck?"
Buck nodded and tipped his hat from his stance on the large porch of the empty store. It was just past the middle of the street and everyone in town had to pass by. He'd spent most of the day before cleaning it out and getting it ready, now all the pieces were in place. The sign was tacked out front over the doorway, the prize was secured inside and he had a table, chair and cashbox ready. Now it was time for the fireworks to start. He saw Carolyn West and two of her friends pause and read the sign. His own smile broadened as they flushed and whispered behind their hands.
"Mornin' Ladies," he oozed, "Don't be shy now, your privacy is guaranteed. Small price to pay, wouldn't you agree?"
"Are both options available?" Becky asked, caressing the coins in her hand.
"You bet, Miss Rebecca. You make sure and tell all your friends. You come back in ten minutes and you can be first in line."
"Oh, I'll be back," Becky vowed, her voice dropping, "...with bells on... girls?" she tossed her head and the giggling trio followed her.
Buck's eyes followed them down the street, where the met several women coming out of Mrs. Potter's store. After a few seconds, six more heads turned and looked towards him. He watched them searching their purses for coins and clapped his hands.
"Hot damn!" he shouted, smacking his hand against the post on the porch.
"We're gonna bust the bank..."
"Which I'm sure will make excellent reading material in Mrs. Travis's periodical as you recover."
"Recover?" Buck turned to face the gambler, who'd slunk up beside him.
"Quite," Ezra repeated, eyeing the figure inside the near empty room. "You my good friend," he turned back to the gleefaced Buck Wilmington, "have lost what's left of the gray matter that used to sit so uncomfortably between your ears."
"You're just jealous, Ace," Buck snickered, slipping inside to check the main event.
"Ezra's right, Buck," J.D. followed the tall man into the room and flinched when he saw Vin Tanner. "You're outta your mind. He's gonna take you outside town and practice that stuff the Kiowa's taught him."
"Nah! Never happen," Buck tossed back, unbuttoning Vin's new shirt and exposing his tanned chest. He stood and walked a few feet to the bag on the table and pulled out a small vial.
"What's that?" J.D. asked as Ezra moved inside to join them, bringing two chairs with him.
"Just a little something to make the boy smell good," Buck supplied, pouring the musk onto his hands and rubbing Vin's neck and chest. "Draw's woman like mad..." He tapped the tracker's face and watched the muscles begin to twitch and a low moan sound. "That's a boy," Buck tapped the slack jaw again, "Come on now, Old Buck wants happy customers." He turned and saw J.D. and Ezra lounging lazily nearby. "Well ain't you two the hypocrites..." he hissed, eyeing the pair. "Get out... in case you missed the fine print... privacy guaranteed. Now move..."
"Aw come on Buck... I'm might learn something." J.D. said mischievously.
"Son, what you need to learn would take too long and require painted women." He paused and winked at Ezra. "Many very patient painted women..." he added, giving Ezra a good, solid laugh and causing the youth's face to flame.
"I know more than you two think I do," Dunne defended, rising and taking his chair.
"Come on, my young Romeo," Ezra placated, "For a slight fee, perhaps we can drum up some business from the hotel. Mr. Wilmington?"
"Ten cents for every new visitor," Buck tossed back, watching in mirth as Vin's eyes began to focus.
"...the hell's goin' on..." the Texan rasped, licking his dry lips. He rubbed his eyes and squinted, letting them adjust to the vacant room. A mug was thrust in his hand and he drank, then clicked his tongue. "Water's off..."
"It's minted, so's your breath will be fresh."
"Fer what?" Vin asked, trying to stand, and then realizing under the large shirt, he was tied securely to the chair, which didn't move.
"It's nailed to the floor," Buck supplied, keeping his distance from the glowing eyes. "Now Vin, this is for the good of the community. Everyone will applaud you for being such a humanitarian."
"Buck ya better start makin' sense..." Vin growled, trying to figure out how to get at the ropes knotted behind him, under the free flowing soft pastel blue shirt. His nose twitched and he screwed his face up. "What's that smell?"
"That's you, Slick," Buck grinned, as the watch in his hand crept up to the hour of ten a.m. "I got you all cleaned up pretty and put some cologne on you. The ladies like that..."
"Ladies?" Vin hissed, still pulling desperately to free himself.
"Best save your strength, Vin, you'll need it for other things." Buck warned, wiggling his eyebrows. "Besides, I got that rigged good, you won't get free unless I cut you loose."
"Get the knife..." Vin snarled, eyes flashing. "Buck..." he stopped as outside he saw a group of very feminine shapes paused to look up at the front of the building, over the door. They giggled and peered inside, before blushing and searching in their purses.
"What the hell does that sign say?" Vin growled, eyeing the lounging huckster.
"Ladies, ladies, don't be shy now," Buck ignored Vin and moved to the porch.
"Come right inside, one at a time, of course."
"Can I do both?" Katie Parsons asked, stepping forward to the doorway and smiling coyly at Vin.
"Sure thing, Miss Katie," Buck oozed, "Two bits should cover that. Go on now, he won't bite."
"Can I get back in line?" Katie asked as Buck's deft hand grabbed the coins.
"Sure thing, he'll be only happy to oblige. Vin's just that kind of a man, always looking to help others. All this money will buy Mary some books for the new school and other stuff the kids need. "
"We're lucky you're so civic minded, Buck," Kate lauded, moving towards the bound tracker.
"Yes, Ma'am," Buck tipped his hat as the pretty blond leaned over Vin, running her hands through his long tresses. "Oh, sweet revenge..." he whispered at Vin, whose face was blushing a nice shade of red.
"Oh, your hair is like silk, Vin," Katie sighed, stoking his cheek as she bent lower, her pink lips parted. "What's your secret?"
"Uh... uh..." Vin croaked, his heart hammering.
"That'd be eggs and honey and well... can't give all the secrets away," Buck plied of the shampoo he'd used on the snoozing victim earlier. "Hah!" Buck grinned, as the blond woman kissed Vin long and hard, well out of sight of the others in line. "Buck, you're a genius," he commended himself as he saw a mountain of silver in his mind's eye.
"I'll be back," Katie's husky voice caressed Vin's flamed ear, as she rubbed his chest once and slipped out of the room.
"Buck," Vin growled low at the smirking rogue, "Yer a dead man... I'm gonna cut off yer ba.."
"Et... et... et..." Buck warned, clicking his tongue. "You best watch that mouth of yours, Slick. There's ladies present. I believe you're next." The rogue tipped his hat and eyed the large pile of silver she handed him. "Well now... you are a mighty givin' person, Miss Rebecca. Just uh... remember the rules... don't get carried away," he warned as she leaned forward and raked Vin's curls, sighing deeply.
"Oh, Vin..." she purred as the tracker's protest was muffled against the bodice of her dress. "It's like spun silk..." her fingers danced through his hair, before massaging his neck. She tipped his face forward and bent lower, capturing his lips.
"Yes, Madame, I assure you it's not a prank," Ezra commented to the pretty woman who'd ridden in the day before on the stage. "Just up the street... a fine specimen," he noted of Vin, "and it is for a good cause. After all, who can resist a needy child seeking education." He nodded to the curious female and took her arm, leading her outside. "Just over there, as you can see..."
"Ezra, you ought to see the line!" J.D. enthused, rushing towards the hotel.
"Good Lord!" Ezra mused of the gathered throng, pocketing the silver the woman handed him before making her way to join them.
"Jealous?" J.D. elbowed him. "Just think of the fat commision you could have made."
"Commision?" Ezra drawled, sliding the coin in his pocket with the others he'd collected. "Moi? Out of the goodness of my heart, young man, nothing more."
"You're full of shit, Ezra," J.D. tossed back. "Hand it over... I get half." He wiggled his fingers until the smooth-talking gambler tossed three pieces of silver into it.
"I was born to this," Buck boomed, slipping past the mob to freshen up his client. "Damn Vin, you sweating too much. The ladies don't like that." He picked up a cloth and handed it to Vin.
"I'm bleedin' fer 'em," Vin snapped sarcastically, wiping his face.
"Oh, cut it out," Buck chastised and handed him a cold mug of minted-water. "It ain't like I'm askin' you to walk over hot coals. Kissin' pretty women ain't that much of a chore. Besides, I heard you're a pretty fair kisser."
"Don't get any ideas," Vin deadpanned, seeing the other man's eyebrows wiggling. "Least ya could do is sell cups of that fancy water." He paused, his face giving Buck a good laugh, "...some of 'em need it."
"Okay, Vin," Buck patted the irate man's shoulders and took the jug outside.
"I guess that's only fair."
"Mornin'," a low voice caused Vin's head to jerk up.
"Aw, hell," he snarled, his eyes burning into the smug green ones a few feet away. "Come to watch the hangin', did ya? Some friend yer turnin' out t'be... where the hell were ya when he drugged me off?"
"I was waiting for my breakfast," Chris replied, arms folded across his chest. He hated to admit it, and he'd never tell Buck, but was enjoying this prank.
"Thanks..." Vin spat back.
"Well, after all, Vin, breakfast is the most important meal of the day." Chris replied, eyeing the sweat on Vin. "Neck's not marked yet anyhow," he implied of wandering teeth. "Nice lips... looks like you've been a naughty boy..." he teased, as he studied the bruised, swollen tracker's mouth.
"Ya best cut me free, Larabee," Vin growled, "Or I'll give ya some bruised lips of yer own..."
"Sorry, Cowboy," Chris tipped his head and ducked outside. "Some of us have real work to do. Have fun..."
"Larabee, get back here and cut me loose or I'm gonna fff..."
"I warned you about cussing, Vin!" Buck clamped a hand on Vin's colorful mouth. "Hey, you got some lipstick down here," the rogue's hand dipped inside Vin's shirt over a nipple. "Damn..."
"Fuck off." Vin hissed low, smacking Buck's smirking face with his free hand. "Ya best get yer will done..." he warned as the chuckling man moved out of harm's way.
As the morning slipped away and the afternoon slid in, the crowd finally dwindled down. Buck had already given Mary two large bags of coins and was quickly filling a third. He nodded to the departing females and darted his eyes inside. Vin's eyes were closed and he was clearly worn out. "The boy's peakin'" he muttered, rising to end the contest. Then an evil smile split his face, as one last customer waddled up the street.
"Afternoon, Miss Gisella," he hollered and tipped his hat. His grin broadened, when he heard a sharp intake of breath from the now roused Texan.
"Gisella?" Vin croaked, eyes wide and pleading at his captor. "Look, ya had yer fun and I been a pretty good sport. Get these ropes offa me... " his panicked voice matched his pleading blue eyes. "Come on, Buck, have a heart," he begged, as the grinning jackass handed him a mug of water.
"Sorry, Slick," Buck patted the tense shoulder in sympathy, "It'll only be a minute. Just remember it's for a good cause. All those children who will benefit from your unselfish actions... mine too."
"Ya fuckin' humanitarian," Vin hissed, eyes glowing like blue coals, "Yer gonna pay..."
Buck blanched for a moment, knowing how calculating Vin could be. "Much as I'd like to help you, Vin, uh..." he paused and smiled, "My hands are tied, so to speak. You know I'm a giving man and I gave my word. A Wilmington's word is as good as done."
"I know what I'll be givin' ya when I get loose," Vin vowed, "I got a long memory." Vin saw the large shadow on the porch and began to sweat. "Buck, she's likely to bust something iffen she leans on me... I ain't recovered yet... Buck..." he pleaded without avail, "...she's got a heavier beard than me and one of her eyes is spinnin' around in her head. Buck... Buck..."
"Right this way, Miss Gisella, you take your time." Buck left the room, wincing inwardly as Vin's protests were reduced to smothered whimpers.
"That didn't sound good," J.D. lumbered onto the porch. "Was that Vin?" he asked of the strange choked moan.
"The boy can't get done thanking me," Buck replied, as Ezra joined them.
"Keep dreaming, Buck." J.D. shook his head and laughed.
"Was that who I think it was?" the southerner asked of the amble body that disappeared into the room.
"Miss Gisella," Buck crowed.
"Ouch!" J.D. cringed. "Buck, he's gonna kill you... real slow like. I just wonder how long he's gonna wait. Hell, the waiting alone might kill you off," the youth noted of whatever the tracker was planning for revenge.
"Care to make a wager?" Ezra teased, joining J.D. in a good round of laughter.
He paused at the crossroads and weighed his decision carefully. He leaned back and grabbed his canteen, taking a healthy swig of water. Capping the canteen, he rested his hand for a moment and eyed the shorter road to town. He jerked the reins and urged his horse onward, not looking back.
The small curl of smoke coming from his cabin, gave the blond a short smile. His instincts had been proven right again. As he got closer, the distinct smell of food cooking assaulted him and he slid off his horse and tended to the tired beast. As he stepped onto the small porch, he chuckled softly as his eyes took in the sight of the tracker, sprawled out on the rocker, sound asleep. Chris eyed the material on Vin's lap and shook his head.
"Wearin' himself out..." he muttered, walking into his meager home. His green eyes were drawn to the stove, where a pot of stew was simmering. Fresh biscuits were in a basket, covered with a red cloth. His rumbling stomach reminded him how long it had been between meals. Grabbing the whiskey bottle from it's perch on the mantle, he headed back towards the porch. He'd been gone for over three days, leaving Vin to his work. The sharpshooter had requested the favor just over a week earlier, only saying he needed 'time and space'. Curious, Chris watched him come and go earlier in the week, still not sure what the hell he was doing. The other request had been harder; keeping the rest away from the privacy Vin sought.
He stood over the weary body and uncorked the fresh bottle with his teeth. He placed the cork on the window ledge and took a good swig, before tapping Vin's shoulder with the bottle.
"Wake your ass up, Tanner..." Chris grumbled. "Your dinner's cooking away."
"Yer welcome," Vin croaked, rousing himself and stretching. "Goddamn ungrateful grouch." He grabbed the bottle offered and took a drink, before passing in back to the dusty figure in black, resting against the porch rail. "How's things at the Fort?" he inquired of Chris's trip to the nearby army base.
"'bout the same," Chris sniffed, taking a sip. "The Major looked great... hasn't aged day," he noted of the old friend he visited. "You gonna tell me about all them trips you been taking?"
Vin smiled evilly and chuckled, taking the bottle back. "Ye'll find out t'morrow, round about lunchtime."
"Payback time?"
"I don't know what yer talkin' 'bout." Vin huffed, chuckling slightly.
"How's it coming?" Chris nodded at the package Vin was gathering up.
"I don't know Chris..." Vin's voice dropped and his brows knit together.
"...been studyin' on it... now I ain't so sure it was a good idea."
Although his face remained unchanged, Chris heard the slip in his voice and saw the shoulders drop slightly. He waited until Vin's eyes asked silently, then he responded.
"Can I help?"
Vin stood and carefully handed the item to his best friend, before turning towards the door. "Stew's nearly done..." he called back as he went inside.
Vin stirred the rabbit stew and cast his eyes towards the door. He continued stirring and finally left the pot, taking two plates from the cupboard. Several minutes went by as he set the table and carried the basket of biscuits over. What could be taking Chris so long? He dropped onto the bench by the table and drew his handsome features into a frown. His mind whirled, thinking of all the hours he'd worked on it... wasted time? He studied the wood grain in the table and thought on all the things he could have done instead. Better choices? Sighing, he slipped his fingers under his shirt and winced, rubbing his scar. He jumped slightly when the door latch moved and Chris entered the room. The blond's face was stoic and Vin's heart sank. He rose without a word and filled his plate with the tender stew. Taking his seat again, his spoon clanked down onto the plate as he took a hefty spoonful. He hissed and grabbed the mug of cider he'd poured for himself and drained it, dousing the fire in his mouth. He shook his anger like a dog ridding itself of freeloading fleas.
"It was a stupid idea... shit... wasted m'time all week..." Vin's words were silenced by the look of fierce intensity from the man in front of him. The green eyes nearly burned a hole right into him.
Chris picked up his plate and paused next to his anxiety-ridden friend. He rested a hand on the anxious man's tense shoulder, before approaching the stove.
"Don't think I've ever laid my eyes on anything finer."
Vin's sharp exhale of breath followed Chris to the stove. He ladled a hefty amount of stew on his plate, grateful that Vin was such a good cook. He moved back to the table and took a seat, eyeing the emotive younger man briefly, before digging in. He was dipping one of the crusty biscuits into the succulent gravy, when the raspy voice finally emerged over the bobbing Adam's apple.
"Really?" Vin's eyes spoke louder than his voice.
"...said so didn't I," Chris stated strongly, biting the dripping biscuit. He continued to eat the tasty stew, eyeing Vin carefully. Finally, the spoon lifted and the tracker's meal began to disappear.
The next morning just before dawn, the two ate a silent breakfast. Sipping coffee on the porch, they watched as Dawn stretched lazily, sending showers of gold and rosy light onto the handsome faces. Sighing, Vin roused himself. The Texan slid his holster and jacket on, before reaching for his hat.
"I'll get him," Chris noted of Tanner's fine black horse, watching Vin nod and then look back to his parcel on the porch. "I'll see to it," he vowed, handing Vin the reins. "He'll be moved Vin, I know I was."
"Thanks, Chris," Vin gripped the gunslinger's forearm and knew Chris understood how far the gratitude reached. He sighed as he slid his boot into the stirrup and vaulted onto the horse. "It don't feel right..." he worried aloud, scratching his cheek. "Ya sure about this?"
"It has to be done," Chris replied, resting his hand on Diablo's neck. "It's for his own good."
"Still feels itchy," Vin fretted, squinting at the road ahead, "It ain't right puttin' the worry on 'im. Don't like it..."
"By tonight, it'll all be over, Vin." Chris squinted up at the tired face above him. "You up to this? You been pushing yourself awful hard this week."
"I'm fine." Vin yawned and rubbed his face, "I'll see ya this afternoon, by Headley's point."
"Alright," Chris sighed, still confused at Vin's cryptic behavior, as he watched him disappear over the crest. "Watch your back..."
It was almost eight a.m. when Chris Larabee's long strides took him into the saloon. His green eyes skirted the perimeter, taking in three of his friends eating breakfast. He shook his head and moved into the room, casting his face to the landing above.
"You're living on borrowed time Buck," the gunslinger advised, taking a seat and reaching for the coffee. "The ax is gonna fall sooner or later."
"Never happen," a familiar voice boomed from the upper floor. The body followed, cautiously eyeing the room below and the doorway. "That boy knows when he's been bested."
"Is that why you've been hiding all over town," Josiah cocked his head up and grinned at the flustered rogue.
"I'm not hiding!" Buck boomed, "I was just making sure Ezra was okay. It was getting late, even for him."
'Harumph!" The southerner chortled, his jade eyes creased in mirth, "Weak, Mr. Wilmington, very weak..."
"You know, Nate," Josiah's deep voice imparted, "I've seen this happen before. Man gets to worryin' all the time. Things start to happen... gets real ugly."
"I hear that, Josiah," Nate nodded somberly, "Weight falls offa him, he gets to shakin' and tremblin', then starts babblin' and talkin' to himself."
"Like them sideshow acts that travel with the circus?" J.D. inquired, watching Buck make a face.
"It could happen." Nate nodded, as Buck draped his long frame over a chair.
"Ha ha... very funny." Buck grabbed a plate and began to eat.
Chris eyed Buck's worried face and suppressed a grin. Vin's exit the day after the prank didn't concern Buck at first. But when Vin needed the favor, Chris complied, telling the others that Vin needed some space. Buck didn't know it yet, but the last grains of sand were running out of his hourglass.
"Hey Josiah, I knew fella once back in Boston, worried himself into a frazzle; ended up in the nuthouse. Was a fearsome sight..."
"I'm warning you, J.D." Buck silenced the giggling youth and directed his attention to the leader. "How's he doing, Chris?"
"'bout the same," Chris answered, refilling his mug.
"Damn... it's been a week now, I didn't think he was that bad off." Buck's voice dropped.
Chris's face screwed up in puzzlement, unsure of what Buck meant. Before he could press the matter, the preacher, the healer and the sheriff started to grin. He eyed the trio and got an uneasy feeling that in his absense, Vin's retreat had taken on a new dimension. A quick glance to Ezra caught a small evil grin and a wink.
"Man gets an infection like that..." Josiah let his voice trail off, kicking J.D. under the table.
"I'd know if that happened to me, I'd be madder than a wet hornet..." the youth nodded.
"It's that bad?" Buck paled slightly, eyeing Nate's somber face.
"Haven't seen a case like it in a long spell," the healer advised, nodding intently, "Fever, chills, weak as a kitten at the outset." Nate sighed.
"Damn shame about his face," Josiah winced, "Never seen a rash like it."
"Ain't is safe to ride out there yet?" Buck asked Nate.
"No," the other denied, "He's got plenty of food and medicine. He's gets all riled up when your name comes up... gets his sores to oozin' but good."
"Sores?" Chris grunted, before someone kicked his ankle.
"Yeah... busted out after you left for the Fort," Nate barely contained the laughter dying to be born.
"Weepin' up a storm... that puss is a nasty mess." Josiah decided, "More cream Ezra?" He offered the small pitcher to the smirking gambler.
"I'll take my chances," Buck vowed, through a veil of guilt, "I'm riding out to see him."
"Later." Chris ended the ridiculous goose chase. "Right now we have a job to do. Eat up, I can't afford to have you keeling over in the saddle today." He urged of the full plate in front of Buck's toying fork. Clive's expecting us by ten with those stallions," he noted of the rancher's delivery. He sent a 'cease and desist' message to the others, who resumed their meal in silence.
"Yeah, okay," Buck consented, piling his ham and eggs into a hollowed out section of bread. He lifted his sandwich and drained his coffee. "I'll meet you at the livery."
The silence remained until the scoundrel was well out of earshot. Chris stood as the others burst into laughter.
"You need help," Chris shook his head of the antics. "You got way too much time on your hands."
"Poor Buck," Nate lamented, "I feel kinda sorry for him."
"You weren't feelin' so bad a few minutes ago when poor Vin's face was oozin'" Josiah commented.
"Yeah, Nate, we were trying to eat you know!" J.D. remarked.
"How are you going to keep him out of town all day," Ezra asked Chris, who was at the door. "Even if your gait is slowed considerably, you'll be back by midday."
The gunslinger paused at the batwing doors and smiled, his green eyes glowing in evil delight.
"Uh-oh!" Nate sat up. "That looks like a Vin-grin."
"Damn..." Josiah noted of Larbee's smug face.
"Something is most definitely amiss," Ezra agreed, "Care to share, Mr. Larabee?"
"Might be a good idea to be close to town come noontime." Chris grinned again and raised an eyebrow.
"It's today!" J.D. enthused, jumping up and rubbing his hands together.
"Vin's revenge... Oh Man I can't wait. What's it gonna be?"
"Don't know..." Chris shrugged. "But he's been cooking something up all week." With a final nod to the group, he departed.
It was nearly midday when Buck and Chris returned. Chris couldn't help darting his eyes in every direction, including the rooftops, expecting an assault from the unknown. The town seemed quiet enough. They left their horses outside the saloon and entered, joining their friends. They discussed the horses and the news in the Clarion, when J.D. rose to get two more beers.
"What's that smell?" He frowned, leaving the bar and heading for the door.
"If I didn't know better," Nate cocked his head. "I'd swear that sound was..."
"Good Lord!" Ezra exclaimed from the doorway, "We've been invaded by an army of swines bearing adornment."
"What!" Chris and Buck shouted in unison, jumping and running outside.
"Oh My God... look at them!" J.D. laughed as a voice boomed from down the street. Over a dozen pigs in various sizes, all wearing colorful kerchiefs were scampering down the street and into the stores.
"Buck... Buck Wilmington, Get your damn pigs outta my store!"
"My pigs!" Buck hollered back, "They ain't my damn pigs!"
"Hey, look at this!" J.D. scampered down the boardwalk and captured a runaway runt. Carting it back to his friends, his voice was pealing in laughter. "These look familiar?" he tugged on the colorful scarf the squealing pig was wearing.
"Looks like Brother Vin found a good use for all those slings he wore." Josiah's deep voice cracked in laughter.
"Bucklin's Beauties," Ezra read the crooked lettering. "Mr. Tanner's is an adept pupil," he noted in pride of the progress the new student made during the last month.
"Get him in the wagon, J.D.!" Chris grunted, herding two small pigs into the corner where Nate grabbed them.
"What wagon?" J.D. asked, trying to keep his grip on the wiggling animal.
"Buck! Get your ass down here and get your damn pigs outta my store!"
"They're not my fuckin' pigs, Lyle!" Buck roared back at the irate shopkeeper.
"Buck, you better watch your mouth," J.D. warned, "Or I'll have to fine you for swearing in public."
"Since when?" Buck retorted, herding a pig into the deadend alley, where Josiah was playing shepherdto several more.
"It's a new ordinance, it was Vin's idea," the sheriff responded.
"Ain't he just the concerned citizen!" Buck huffed, scrambling after a large pig.
"Buck, start putting your pigs back in their wagon!" Chris growled.
"They're not my fuckin' pigs!" Buck screamed back, sliding into the dirt as another slippery swine eluded him.
"Buck, I warned you... " J.D. started.
"Shut up!" Buck hollered from his belly in the dirt. "I'm gonna kill him..." he eyed the wagon where the army of boars descended from. It's high sides were painted white and in bold red and blue lettering, it proclaimed 'BUCKLIN'S BEAUTIES', along with a startling likeness of himself. "Hey, who's that weasel?" He rose to his knees and wiped the mud from his face, jerking his head at a thin, quivering man by the wagon.
"I don't know," Chris hauled Buck upright, "But unless he can herd pigs, I don't give a rat's ass." He shoved Buck towards the suspicous man and turned his head towards the alley, spotting Nate and Josiah housing most of the creatures in the alley. He saw the end of a scarlett coat disappear into the saloon. "Ezra, get your lazy ass out here and help!"
"I think not," the southerner drawled.
"I'd think again!" The leader threatened.
"Point taken," Ezra agreed, spotting the paperwork in the strange, little man's hand. "Perhaps I can ascertain where these delightful creatures came from."
"Did you haul these pigs here?" Buck towered over the shaking man, his blue eyes glowing through the mud on his face.
"I was looking for their owner... they got loose..." the man stammered.
"Hey Buck, you decide to sell them little critters, I got a smokehouse all ready!" a voice yelled from behind the irate rascal.
"Shut up Clive," Buck yelled back, "They're not my damn pigs!"
"Yeah, Buck, they are," J.D. skimmed the papers he took from the trembling man, "It says right here..."
"I don't give a fuck what that paper says," Buck's voice trembled in rage,
"Vin! Vin Tanner... get your scrawny ass down here!" His flashing eyes scorched the rooftops, seeking out a shaggy head.
"I'm afraid they are, Buck," Ezra smirked, "Bucklin's Beauties, L. Byron Wilmington, Esquire."
"That's your real name?" J.D.'s voice quaked in laugher. "What's the L for Load of..."
"Of course that ain't my real name!" Buck boomed, squinting his eyes suspiciously as Ezra and Chris both began to laugh. "What?"
"Lord Byron..." Chris smirked, "The boy sure has a way with words..."
"Lord Byron?" Buck puzzled.
"One of England's most famous womanizers at the turn of the century. I was regaling our missing Texan with some of his more colorful escapes. Apparently, he saw the resemblance." Ezra paused, reading further. "It would appear that the previous owner was of a patriotic nature."
"How's that?" Nate asked, putting two small pigs in the back of the wagon.
"Miss Liberty is the moniker that..."
"What!" Buck interrupted, grabbing the papers from Ezra. "Where does it say that?" His eyes followed Ezra's finger and his mouth dropped open. "Rash huh! I'll give him a rash... Vin!" he screamed.
"The Miss Liberty?" Chris smirked, trying hard to contain the belly laugh that was fighting its way forwward. He saw Buck's chagrin and got his answer, causing the laughter to rush past his parted lips. "I can't believe you told him..."
"Aw, hell, Chris," Buck defended, wiping his face with a blue scarf bearing his name. "I was all shot up in the desert, I thought I was dying... I was delirious."
"You must have been..." Chris continued to laugh, amazed at the fete pulled off by the nimble sharpshooter.
"Who's Miss Liberty?" J.D. asked.
"Well you see, J.D...." Chris started, only to be cut off.
"Chris you say one more word and I'll give Mary a front page story about a rainy night in Louisville..." Buck warned about a wild nightjust after the war.
"Damn Buck, you don't play fair!" Chris gasped, wiping the moisture from his eyes and taking a heaving breath.
"That's the last of 'em Buck," Josiah grunted, putting a large pig in the wagon. "What are you going to do with 'em?"
Buck eyed the rainbow of color in the wagon, in the form of the scarves on the pig's necks. He picked up a discarded cloth and eyed the crooked, childlike scrawl with wonder. "His scratchin's improved..." Try as he might, he couldn't help but smile. "How the hell did he pull this off? Is that what he was doing out your place all week?"
"I guess... he didn't tell me a thing. Made a whole lot a mysterious trips..." Chris's voice caught and he eyed the street and the rooftops. "Wore his sorry ass out."
Buck noticed the change in the leader's features and moved to stand next to him. "What?"
"When's the last time Vin wasn't here to rake in the glory?" he noted of the tracker's frequent practical jokes.
"Damn..." Buck hissed, hands on his hips. "Anybody seen Vin Tanner today?" Buck hollered and saw the negative responses from those gathered.
"Alright, I guess we're going to need to..." Chris paused and eyed the nervous man by the wagon. "Mister, if you got something to say, you best speak up..."
"Well, I was told to leave this envelope with the post office, to deliver later to Mr. Wilmington."
"Where'd you get that?" Josiah asked, nodding to the paper.
"Young feller, long haired, hide coat, blue eyes... nice enough feller... real polite like."
"That's our boy..." Josiah beamed, grinning. "He still out there?"
"Gimme that!" Buck grabbed the envelope and ripped it open. His face flamed and his mouth formed a brief grim line, before curling up again. "Goddammit Vin!"
"Uh-oh!" Nate smirked, "That don't sound good."
"What's it say, Buck?" Chris asked.
"That shifty, underhanded, no account, sorry-assed... I'm gonna get him back for this. Shit..."
"Buck..." Chris's patience was wearing thin.
"They're McGowen's pigs, he rented them. If they're not returned by 1 p.m. today, there's a twenty percent charge for interest."
Ezra stared over Buck's shoulder and did a quick calculation, then smiled, his tooth glinting in the sun. "Mr. Tanner may be my new hero," he mused, "It's one p.m. now, by the time you return these lovely creatures..."
"Shut up Erza," Buck snarled, "It ain't a goddamn bit funny."
"Are you kidding, Buck?" J.D. reveled. "It's ingenius! I can't believe he thought all this up."
"It's always the quiet ones..." Josiah assessed, patting Buck's shoulder.
"There goes your profit from the kissing contest," Chris calculated, grinning like a cat. "Right down to the last penny."
"Looks like Vin's gettin' good at math..." Nate chuckled.
"Oh, I think he had some help..." Buck turned to the gambler, whose chest was poofed in pride. "Ezra...."
"Mr. Wilmington, I'm shocked that you'd think that I'd..."
"You look like a cat that ate a fuckin' canary. I'll pay you back for this, in spades..."
"Hah!" the other scoffed. "When pigs fly..."
"Ouch!" J.D. smacked Ezra. "...and you accuse me of telling bad jokes."
"Is he still out there?" Buck demanded of the man.
"I guess so. When I left, the farmer's wife was shooing him into the house, talking about his 'poor misfortune' and lunch and a rest."
"Misfortune!" Buck boomed, jumping on the rig, "He don't know the meaning of the word... but he will."
"Somebody better go with you, Lord Byron, in case those critters get loose again." Nate wiggled his eyebrows at the infuriated rogue.
"I'll go... it'll be dark when we get back." Chris noted, as Vin's mysterious message from that morning took shape. "Let's get this over with, Byron."
"Shut up, Chris," Buck pulled the wagon out, "I'm warning you..."
"He doesn't have the slightest inclination," Ezra relieved and turned to the others. "Gentlemen, we have work to do and not much time until they return."
"Amen to that," Josiah agreed, patting J.D.'s shoulder. "Let's go..."
"Hey Buck, where you taking your pretty little piggies?"
"Them neck scarfs are a real nice touch, Buck, real classy!"
"Buck, can I see your pigs?"
"They ain't my damn pigs!" Buck screamed to the voices calling to him from the boardwalk as he departed town. The echoes of their laughter chased after him. He glanced backwards at the troop of pigs and the names printed so carefully on every colorful scarf. He couldn't fight the urge any longer and he caved in, letting a broad smile form. He thought of his trickster friend, snoozing in the sun at McGowen's farm, wearing a dopey, contented smile. His own grin broadened and a laugh snuck out.
"I heard that..." Chris called over, eyeing Buck's white teeth through his mud-streaked face. "Vin sure outdid himself this time."
By the time they got to McGowen's farm, it was after three p.m. The laundry was flapping in the breeze and Chris noted the empty hammock slung between two trees. He got off his horse and trotted up the steps of the porch. Before he could rap on the door, it opened and a kind-faced woman with a crown of white hair appeared.
"Afternoon, Mrs. McGowen, how are you?"
"Fine Chris, How are you?"
"Fine Ma'am... Is Vin here? We brought the pigs back."
"Charles is around back," she noted of her husband. "Did you boys eat? I have some pie left. That poor young man was a pile of bones. Landsakes, he's underfed..."
"Yes Ma'am..." Chris nodded, hearing Buck growling from behind him. "Take 'em around back Buck..."
"They're all there..." Buck called as he jumped down. The owner counted every head as the happy pigs ran out of the wagon. "How much?"
"Five dollars even, including the interest."
"Five dollars!" Buck boomed, "Hell, I'm losing money on this!"
"Well, don't forget the cost of the whitewash to repaint the wagon and then there's..."
"Yeah, alright!" Buck groaned, handing the silver to the sated farmer.
"Pleasure doin' business with you boys. Quite a profitable week for me."
"I'll bet..." Buck grumbled. "Where is he?" His eyes roamed the property, searching for the prankster.
"He's not here." Charley McGowen answered.
"What!" Chris wheeled, staring intently, "What do mean?" Now he was worried. Vin hadn't told him what he'd planned, only that he'd be waiting for them. He was a key in the plan to get Buck out of town. But this wasn't in the scheme.
"After the missus gave him somethin' to eat, Amos come by..." he paused, "you know the stage driver, they stop just down the road..."
"Yeah, I know Amos...what about Vin," Chris pressed.
"Well, he got all upset, I didn't hear what Amos said to him, but there was somethin' he was waitin' on... it didn't come. He said somethin' about havin' to go to Mule Pass to get it."
"Mule Pass?" Chris hissed, gritting his teeth and eyeing the road east. "What did you get yourself into, Cowboy?"
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