By Irwin C. Floorhead
Urgent news!
The beloved and internationally ignored web master Shamoo E. Bear has died today in a fatal beaching off the northern coast of Wisconsin. The people of Cashew, Wisconsin have had a horrible loss today, mostly to their senses due to the putrid smell of the rotting corpse that Shamoo left behind. Today, Feburary 3rd, will always be a rememberance to the day Shamoo died , the day a website lost its innocence. Shamoo may be a rotting corpse but the soul of him lives on in this fantastical website (this happens to be a literal fact, many technicians and web-goers have experienced a great spiritual and ghostly presence when logged on to the Third Eye mainpage, many have claimed that a poutergeist now inhabits the haunted webspace...but more on that later); a obscenely bright and sentimental testament to the great mind of our dear, departed fatass. Goodbye Shamoo we will always remember you when we depraved individuals look at ourselves in the mirror and say "Hey Fatass! Why don't you get a job! You're fat repulsive insignificant middle aged loser, whimper, cry fuss..." This has benn Irwin C. Floorhead reporting for Shamoo news.