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| Tubercular Ale and Syphilitic Dogs |
| you appear said solicitous brander as cheerful as a blistered big toe what is it with you? i, replied mcguire, am bloated with bile and dole did i not warn you brander scoffed against the piebald dragon? the landlord has a dirty pump and his beer is likewise unsound mcguire mutterd foul imprecations into his beard causing a mass exodus of baby hamsters it's not the dragon you soulless ponce he growled at length 'tis the gossip that has me wounded to my inmost heart you and fat alice from the sweetshop? bantered brander naughty naughty! i did not think you had it in you that i do not mcguire snapped, more hamsters fleeing at least not for fat alice her idea of a party is drinking melted wine gums and she possesses the cultural development of a licorice-free licorice allsort It is all lies put about by peregrine the pimp |
| who has had it in for me ever since i demanded a refund when maltese matilda fainted at the sight of my undershirt why, when i was lying in my sickbed - with the clap interrupted brander that you got from fat alice - not a bit of it it was a chest infection no doubt caught from the tatty and tubercular clientele of monro's off licence or monro's tatty and tubercular brown ale while i was thus coughing out unused internal organs and some that were past their shelf life that peregrine was holding court in the thatcher's head spreading filth about me and fat alice at once brander was all concern you want he asked we should arrange for perry a little party? just him and me and a few of the lads? |