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| Razors, Breadknives and Freedom of Expression |
| the trouble with your modern razors moaned brander is a man can nowise cut his thoat with the damn things little itty bitty blades encased in contraceptive plastic is it then replied mcguire that you wish to cut your throat? if so i own a very fine breadknife sheffield steel made in taiwan guaranteed mothproof cutting one's throat with a breadknife brander snarled runs contrary to the whole aesthetic of throat cutting it has to be a straight razor or jump off a cliff aesthetics now is it? said mild mcguire that guinness gertie is improving what passes for your mind and your vocabulary but since i never shave and am therefore impartial an unbiased if hairy observer i will say this your tripartite razor is a miracle of modern technology |
| one blade chops the enemy hairs the second zaps the passive resisters while the third helps your skin rejuvenate itself by removing its upper layer and still retorted brander i cannot cut my throat with one it is a denial of my basic freedom to kill myself by my chosen method but if you could mused mcguire you would no longer be able to drink the aftershave causing a crisis in the industry and that would never do a live brander is a consumer a dead brander wormfood with no further use for steel or plastic come let us share a draught of old spice and dedicate our lives to the search for the perfect dental floss |
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