HAIBUN: Garden Kiss |
I walk determined into the hospital, gulping down an ocean, resentful of such a sour building that seems to stink of death. Mama smiles as I arrive, with flowers from her garden. I cannot return her smile as she lies there pale, as fearful as prey. I, sad as a wilted rose. After comforts considered, she tells of a well-wisher who told her to 'fight it'. With tainted passion she exclaims, 'Well HOW?, if I knew how, I WOULD!� Gil just whimpers, all the while kissing her hand. We talk further, cry streams of tears, speaking words of candor; we know these moments are precious. Without warning, Mama rests her eyes, becoming silent and still. I shudder inside; suddenly she is like a living corpse. I witness mama�s pain, she wears it on her face like a widow grieving. I speak of an early mother�s day and she brightens. Kissing her face many times, I ask if I may kiss her head where her cancer lay unseen. Her eyes brim with tears and she says...�Yes, you may kiss my head� and extends her neck. I do just that, leaving my lips there envisaging all the love of her garden, and the beauty of the flowers she grew lovingly and had just received, flooding her brain. I leave mama and Gil alone and head to look out the window. Seeking beauty for relief, I see many autumn trees turning and am reminded of change. My eyes are wells again and I feel mamas gaze upon my form, sympathetically helpless. As I turn around to meet her ponder, I weakly smile a thousand words of love. salty rosebud lips a garden kiss of healing silent words of love |