| A day with Andrea I had been crying on and off all weekend. It was extremely windy, wind always agitates me and cause me to feel very unsettled, even angry. My neighbour came to visit me with an orchid book, to see if we could identify my six spiked orchid. Andrea is an orchid enthusiast and her garden is quite special. She took pity on another orchid that was pot bound, and invited me over to the freedom house. We found a bigger pot, broke off all the dead bulbs, split her in two, and settled her into her new home. I had my hands in soil, cut and handled orchid roots and slid my fingers along the long green leaves. I felt small again, creative, wonderful. Life-giver. I admired clover and jasmine and raw ginger. I ate coriander. I smelt the most delicious apricot rose. I held a poisonous cactus thorn. I held almonds in my hands, I'd never seen almonds straight off the tree before. Picking those almonds will stick with me for a while. I saw a long tall yellow Japanese water lily in the middle of her pond, filled with Koi. I saw so much beauty that I suddenly felt overwhelmed and had to excuse myself and go home, and feel pain for hours with many many tears. I am still crying. Her name is Andrea and she is my blessing. She took my homemade poetry book back home, read it all in one sitting, and wants to help me write a book. I still hate myself and feel trapped in a torment, but love and beauty came to visit me today, and I am thankful. ~shalome November 2007 |