| This is my page, what goes on in my fucked up head gets put here, your welcome to stay and releish in my ideas and other shit if you want to. it will mainly be poems and what im feeling, if matt makes another day of my life like my own personal hell. :( These pages are kind of a mini rollarcoaster, from the estactically happy to the depressingly pathetic thoughts. |
| cRaZy MiNd oF mInE |
| Poems this poem is called 'All Alone' I am alone again left to slip into insanity with no one to tell me im ok. The dark mood outside mimics my current foul temperament, the rain lashing at my windows like the spiteful thoughts assulting my mind. I am locked away from view, rotted and scraped from others mind like a fetid peice of mould. Their knowlegde of me may sleep, but mine does not. It is with me, tormenting me all day, all night never ending. I feel the defeat rolling down my cheeks along with the shame and pathetic lump of flesh that is I; I am stupid and i am showing it by weeping my worthless shell to sleep. Sleep is my only relief, even now that has abandoned me, so i can sit and think, think how slow and dull i am. Why did i have to be born and born as me? I guess i deserve this insolant exsistance, in fact it isnt enought punishment. I pick up the sharp silver, the only real feeling and looking thing left in my life. I hold it to my wrists as i have done so many times before but never have i been so close mentally to carrying out my needed punishment. I am so weak and in my weak pathetic self a find a sort of strength, a theives strength, an invalid strength that allows me to run the smooth blade over my my skin. I let the thought this is what i deserve numb the pain.. The red, colour of humanity that i dont deserve, flows eagerly out of my viens to a more worthy place, not my insignificant carcuss. The red becomes sticky and stinking, the pumps of blood have slowed to a trickle. I feel weak now, outside as well as in. My easily confused brain and useless body now in snyc. It was painful, a painful relief, a way to release the stress and burden. I feel almost slightly significant, almost. I had to copy that all out by hand so thats it for now ok. Not that its very good anyway. email me if you do find this site by accident [email protected] |