Controlling your Temper

Bismillah hir Rahman nir Rahim.

This is something that many Muslims (myself included)need to work on. How many times do you get so mad at
something or someone that you feel it in your stomach,you feel you face getting hot, you start cursing, in
your head or maybe even out loud? Some people get intoshouting matches, others go so far as to throw punches.

If we are going to show the world what real Islam is and how true Muslims act and behave, we MUST MUST MUST
learn to control our tempers, control our anger. Anger leads to insults, hurt feelings, fights, it can even
lead to severe beatings or murder. Watch the news for about ten minutes and you are likely to hear about hot
tempered young (or old!) people getting into a fight over something very silly. Once I heard that a man
STABBED his MOTHER because she attacked him when he threw the Thanksgiving turkey out the window.

The Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, said that a strong man is not one who can fight, but one who can
control his temper when he is angry. (Al-Bukhari).

He advised people all the time to avoid getting angry.Sufyaan ibn ‘Abd-Allaah al-Thaqafi: I said, O
Messenger of Allaah, tell me something that will be of benefit to me, and make it brief and concise. He said,
“Do not get angry, and Paradise will be yours.”(Al-Tabaraani) It was also narrated that Abu’l-Dardaa’
said: I said, O Messenger of Allaah, tell me of a deed
which will earn me admission to Paradise . He said, Do not get angry.

In Qur'an it says:

“…who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily,Allaah loves Al-Muhsinoon (the good‑doers).”[Aal ‘Imraan 3:134]

“And those who avoid the greater sins, andAl‑Fawaahish (illegal sexual intercourse), and
when they are angry, they forgive.” [al-Shooraa 42:37]


If it is in the Qur'an and if it is from the advise of the Prophet, peace be upon him, then why don't we do
it? Why do you just kind of smile and say, "Yeah, we SHOULD be like that but it's really hard." Or, "That
guy was asking for it."

The Prophet, peace be upon him, adviced us on how to control our tempers. First we should try to avoid the
things that make us angry in the first place. (This,of course, is not always easy.)

We should also say A'udhu billah min nash shaytan nirrajim, I seek Allah's protection from the cursed
satan. As in this haddith from Al-Bukhari:

Sulayman ibn Sard said: "I was sitting with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him),
and two men were slandering one another. One of them was red in the face, and the veins on his neck were
standing out. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘I know a word which, if he
were to say it, what he feels would go away. If he said "I seek refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan,"
what he feels (i.e., his anger) would go away.’"

The next time you get angry, say this instead of yelling curses.

The Prophet, peace be upon him, also said: "If any of you becomes angry, let him keep silent." (Reported by
Imaam Ahmad, al-Musnad, 1/329; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 693, 4027).

Keeping silent may seem impossible to many of us, but think about all the trouble it saves us from? If we
are silent, arguements wouldn't get started and fights might be avoided. (and don't worry about looking weak
in the other person's eyes. "The strongest one is the one who controls his temper when angry." If Prophet
Muhammad, peace be upon him, said it, how can we believe differently? Who cares what the other guy
thinks, as long as you are the one who is obeying Allah and His Messenger?)

Allah created anger out of fire (don't you feel you face get hot when you are angry?) and so we should
make Wudu when we feel ourselves getting angry.

One haddith says that if you start to get angry while standing, you should sit down; if you are sitting, you
should lay down. (See Musnad Ahmad, 5/152; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 694). If you get angry, sit down
and be still. this makes it less likely that you will jump up and start yelling at or fighting with the
person who made you angry, and less likely that you will start breaking things, etc.

It is also good to know that there are rewards from Allah for avoiding or controlling anger. One of the
ahaadeeth that describe the great reward for doing this is: "Whoever controls his anger at the time when
he has the means to act upon it, Allaah will fill his heart with contentment on the Day of Resurrection."
(Reported by al-Tabaraani, 12/453, see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 6518).

Another great reward is described in the Prophet’s words: "Whoever controls his anger at the time when he
has the means to act upon it, Allaah will call him before all of mankind on the Day of Resurrection, and
will let him choose of the Hur al-’Iyn whoever he wants." (Reported by Abu Dawud, 4777, and others. It
is classified as hasan in Saheeh al-Jaami, 6518).