serious epidemic patient. My digestive system was infected by
some kind of
deadly bacteria. Cabin number 242, consisted of three beds,
placed side by side
for the patients. One of the beds was assigned for me. The name
of the nurse,
serving the patients of that cabin was Nirmala, seemed to be 35,
very
affectionate and gentle to the patients. There was one more
patient in the cabin
242, kept sleeping all the time might be for his sickness.
Nirmala usually did visit
the patients of the cabin two times in her duty hours, stayed
around one hour
each time to do routine checkup, to feed and to give medicine to
the patients.
She talked to the patients with very soft voice like an
affectionate mother talks to
her sick child. Many different nurses and ward persons served the
patients of this
cabin after Nirmala finished her work at 7 pm until ten ‘o clock
in the morning.
The doctor told me I had to stay there one more week to get well
completely.
The weather was comfortable; blue sunny sky with lots of birds,
gentle breeze on
the leaves of the trees, different sounds of enormous singing
birds made the
outside world dreamy and enjoyable. Lots of these resources came
in contact of
my senses through my bedside window. In spite of the pain of my
disease I did
not keep blind my senses from the countless beauties of nature. I
was little bit
talkative; my hobby was to talk with the people, to know them and
to share their
feelings and as an amateur journalist I usually learned to do so.
From the
stimulation of that habit, one morning I dared to speak with
Nirmala about her
personal as well as professional life. Nirmala, a devoted health
worker, a
contributed nurse was a widow with no child, passed most of her
leisure time in
praying to her God.
“Nirmala, so far I know, you are serving this hospital for long
time sincerely and
whole heartedly. Why do you look so sad always? Don’t you like
your job? Do
you have any intense feeling in your memory that makes you
injured all the time?
If you don’t mind, you can disclose it to me, so that I can share
your grievance
and make you feel better,” I tried to feel her sadness cordially.
“Yes, I have an unforgettable memory. No, there is no problem to
tell you that. It
was mid summer of 1993; I was working in this hospital in the
same department
as I am working right now,” Nirmala was drowned in the realm of
her memory.
Her sight started watching far back from the present. Her eyes
were getting gray
to more gray, where suddenly I discovered a gray cat crossed over
a gray wall
and began to wander in a gray yard.
Every morning appears in the same way in our life, no way to
differentiate them
but from the beginning of the day Nirmala feels something
pleasant in her mind;
the sky is clear and the temperature is not so hot yet but more
the day proceeds
to the noon more it will be hot.
“ O, God, give me more means and ways to do something good for
the
distressed and sick people,” Nirmala prays to God as she does it
every morning.
Today she feels so happy that she is singing at her works.
Finishing all
household works she started for the Hospital, her work place.
“Nirmala, I have an emergency patient, a homeless boy of eleven
or twelve may
be got a road accident. I treated him; he lost three toes from
his left foot. He is
out of danger now. I want to hand over you this patient right
now; please, come
with me, “ Dr. Roy has finished briefly his instruction and hands
over the charge
to Nirmala and then attends to his job. She likes Dr. Roy for his
simplicity and
devotion to work.
“Ok, Sir, I take care the patient; I will keep him in the cabin
no. 242,” Nirmala pay
attention to her patient. The poor little boy with lots of
stitches in his body is lying
on the bed. The orphan with an innocent face, expecting affection
and care
obviously able to melt the heart of a mother. Nirmala stares at
his senseless face
for some moments and then attends to her job.
“How do you feel now? When you get the sense?” Normala smiles at
the boy.
“I am fine sister; I woke up almost one hour ago; I feel good
now; how are you
then,” the boy starts talking to Nirmala and laughing strangely
as if he is so
happy right now. Nurses are called sister in the hospital.
“All right gentleman, what is your name and where are your
parents; are they
alive?” she starts speaking with the boy and keeps doing the
routine checkup,
giving medicine and injections and taking records of the
patients’ physical history.
“My name is Lulpa but everybody calls me Lulu. Sister, I don’t
know, who is my
natural parents; after getting consciousness I found, somebody
was raising me
with carelessness and cruelty. They beat me every now and then
and when I was
seven they sent me to a factory for work but the work was so hard
for me. They
are not good people; I ran away from my parents; I never come
back there
again,” Lulu is talking and laughing normally as if nothing was happened.
“Ok, Lulu, don’t talk too much; you have to relax and sleep; you
have a high fever
right now. Take these candies and keep quiet,” she comes out of
the cabin.
Within very few days Lulu comes close to everybody. Doctors,
nurses and ward
persons everybody likes him as an ever smiling, playful and jolly
boy. He walks
like a lame person around the corridor and lobby. He has access
everywhere;
nobody can prevent him from walking. He wakes up early in the
morning to say
good morning to every staff of the hospital.
“Good morning, sister, how are you? Give me some candies,
please,” Lulu greets
Nirmala with proper courtesy.
“ I am fine. Listen, Lulu, you have some important message from
the
management. Your health is improving well and you are almost
cured. You have
to leave this hospital after four days from today,” she gives him
candies along
with unexpected message of the management.
“ I don’t want to leave this hospital; I never leave you,
sister,” Lulu mutters these
words for some moments. He was angry and surprised, never
expected this
news from Nirmala.
“Lulu, I can request the doctor so that you can stay two or three
more days but it
does not make any difference, you must have to leave the hospital
after that.
Everybody comes here as a patient and after getting well they
leave this hospital,
this is the rule. Have I made you understand the situation,
Lulu?” She tries to
make him smile as much as she can. A dark shadow of uncertainty
has been
cast over his countenance. The imaginary, peaceful and reliable
world,
developed in his mind along with the affectionate face of Nirmala
is about to
break down into
fragments. The possibility of this devastation makes him calm
and quiet.
“Good afternoon, sister, Give me a candy, ha, ha…” Lulu greets
Nirmala gaily.
“How strange, how you have come in the lab. No patient has access
in the lab.
Lulu, you look so happy right now. Everything is all right!” She
is wandering how
soon he forgets his sorrows. Lulu starts asking lots of questions
to Nirmala about
the laboratory. He has countless curiosity, wants to know what is
inside the red
bottle, inside the green bottle, inside the purple container and
so on.
“Sister, what is inside that strange blue big bottle!” Pointing
to a blue bottle in the
cupboard Lulu shows a big curiosity and wonder to her.
“There is a big danger inside that bottle. If you drink the
liquid of that bottle you
have to stay in this hospital forever. Look, the bottle is
labeled by danger sign,”
smiling to him Nirmala makes a joke. He stares at the bottle for
some moments.
Getting home she does not feel so good today mentally. Sometimes
she does not
get proper cause of her unhappiness. So, usually she does not try
to research her
mind for her off mood. She
inquires about her old mother’s health as she does
everyday. She falls asleep late tonight. In her sleep she feels somebody is pushing
her body; she woke up suddenly and found her mother is trying to wake her up.
“Nirmala, what happened to you, why you are crying in the sleep!” her mother is
wondering at the incident.
“It was a nightmare mom, I feel bad mama,” Nirmala tries to recover her emotion.
“Mom, I was dreaming. In a large and wide field I found myself alone. Somebody or
something terrible was chasing me. I was running for fear of my life. I kept running
and running and I found the road or field, whatever was finished at a point. There
was no hope to save my life. All on sudden I found a hut at the end of the way. I knocked
at the door with all my hope and will of mind. The door was opened. The person who
gave me refuge and saved my life was nobody but Lulu, the poor little boy, my patient.
I don’t feel good mammy,” Nirmala exposes the incidents of her nightmare.
“Don’t worry, Nirmala, everything will be okay,” her mother try to let her feel happy.
Next morning Nirmala found a big crowd in front of cabin 242. She
is trying to get
into the room, willing to know what was happened there.
“ Hi, Nirmala, do you know what was happened to the boy, Lulu
yesterday. He
has committed suicide by drinking potassium iso cyanide. How
dangerous! I
cannot imagine. I have to give statement to the police about his
death,” Dr. Roy
asks her disappointingly.
In a moment it appears to her that there is no ground under her
feet; she is falling
down through a vertical tunnel, which has no bottom at all. After
some moment
she comes into reality.
“O, Doctor, it is my fault, my fault. He wanted to stay here
forever. He had a tiny
dream of a reliable shelter along with the affectionate face of a
mother. Arrest me
I broke his dream into fragments,” Nirmala bursts into tears.
Nobody understands
what she is saying. Nobody can feel the tremendous storm blowing in
the heart
of a lonely mother.
After some moment Nirmala came into reality from the state of her
memory. She
finished expressing the deepest and mournful feelings of her
mind.
“This is the bed where Lulu slept his last sleep; this is the
room where he
breathed his last,” she was muttering to herself and rubbing her
palm smoothly
on an empty bed. She was trying to hide her tears from me. Some
thought might
be come into her mind that a contributed nurse should not weep
for her dead
patient. It may be against of the professional ethics.
All my words stopped instantly. I found nothing to make her happy
and smile at
the moment. I turned my face towards the window and stared at the
blue sky
where I found a lonely seagull kept crying and crying, what for;
I did not know.