Everone knew Alan was odd
But no one could have guessed
The horror visited upon him
When he tripped on his own pants
The train was moving very fast
Barrelling down the tracks
It was moving at one-fifty plus
When it smashed Alan's bare buttocks
If only he'd had his pants up
When the cops had started chasing
He wouldn't have tripped and fallen upon
That cold steel railway railing
He tripped on his own pants
While The Man stood by and laughed