| Ways To Say I Love You |
| 10.Your lousy personality isn't so lousy after a couple of drinks! |
| 9.I care for you so much, I am unable to even conceive our inevitable divorce. |
| 8.I've grown sufficently fond of you enough to stop sleeping w/ your best friend. |
| 7.You make me want to poo little chocolate hearts. |
| 6.I'd still want to ravage you, even when you're old fat and ugly! |
| 5.Life w/o Fellatio from you would be a life not worth living. |
| 4.Our dysfunctional co-dependence fills me w/ all-consuming contentment. |
| 3.I am your blank check-and you can bounce me all night. |
| 2.I'm highly unlikely to meet anyone else who comes as marginally close to being adequate as you do. |
| 1.You're such a fucking asshole! And so am I. Let's forgive each other, get drunk, and screw! |