**Week of:**

5/18/98:
"Phrase to Greg's Mom."
--Frank [author: Shawn]

"Yeah, yeah, ya pluck it and it goes around and shits on everybody, I know the song."
--Frank re: Alluetta, 5/19 [author: Collin]

"Random"
--Anonymous [author: Anon]

"See you all again soon!"

5/11/98:
"I got it-- she's going down on me!"
--Scott, 5/11 [author: Britt?]

"95% of the world is undateable!"
--Jerry Seinfeld
"Then how are people gettin' together??"
--Elaine
"...Alcohol?"
--Jerry

"Get back to the men's side WHERE YOU BELONG!!!"
--Akane, said with intense frustration at the end [author: Foster]

"That girl's a man!"
--Frank
"She's nice."
--Foster
--"She's a nice man..."
--Frank, 5/15

"Nobody gives head like Brad!"
--straight Collin, 5/16

"If you run into a box in Andora-- is it Andora's Box?"
--Frank, 5/16 [author: Shawn]

5/4/98:
"Mixed bathing is for moral degenerates!!"
--Kuno, Ranma

"Four." "Four!!" "Four." "Four..."
--Dan, Joe, Bob, Frank on their way to the DMB concert, 5/3

"'That Guy', meet 'That Girl.'"
--Dan regarding me and Regina, DMB concert

"I thought that was a spoon... ...or one big joint!"
--Dave Matthews, regarding a rose thrown up on stage

"Hey, can you tell me where the Congress Centre is? Thanks, go shave. Four!"
--Dan

"Hey big straight Dan..."
--Brian Shay
"Brian, you can call me moderately big straight Frank if ya want."
--Frank
"But you're not straight..."
--Brian

"The only one who signed up was 'Mac-Daddy Shaff.' ...The Captain of the Symphonic Band team will be 'Iron-Arm LaVine.'"
--Mr. LaVine, 5/6

"My eyes are popping outta my head and I'm Frothing at the mouth...!!"
--"Sung" by Frank [author: Foster]

"AAAAAAH"
--"Sung" by Frank also (supposed to be 1 note, same note as previous measure, but sung as a gliss [author: Foster]

"Oh! He 288'ed her!"
--Jad

"Oh yeah, you can have a surgically constructed penis!"
--Lisa at lunch 5/7 [author: Collin]

"Cranies Don't Do That Shit"
"Just Remember... two fucking weeks!"
--Public safety to Dan [author: Dan?]

"I cleaned up that sticky shit."
--Girl on the Way to the Union 5/8 [author: Collin]

"With the incredible tension that has been built up this far, if he were to find her there, he'd say... ...don't go in there!"
--MST3000

"Stupid risks are what make life worth living!"
--Homer Simpson 5/10

4/27/98:
"You got me out of my room for Porno-Gay?"
--Dan to Joe+Bob, 4/27

"I shoved..., ...under your door..."
--rearrangement (by me, hehe) of a message on Foster's door

"You can't grab what's not there!"
--said Sue after Brad told Sue to grab Collin's Balls, 4/27 [author: Brad]

"Ohhhh, the fighting lesbians."
--Paul Reiser, "Mad About You" 4/28

"Relax, lady. Climb outta my ass, will ya?..."
--David Letterman 4/28

"I heard Brady, Yeti, and Abstinence all in the same sentence."
--Frank at Lehman [author: Collin]

"KA-CHINK-CHINK!!!"
--Frank's sound effect of Eric opening the door (and scaring him) [author: Foster]

"Hold on, let me throw a gay man at you."
--Crow, MST3000 5/2

"I'm gonna eat your piece."
--Foster to Karen, unintentionally 5/2

(Ding-Dong)
"Oh, I'm black- I'll get it..."
--Servo, MST3000

"Who's bitching?"
--Dan
"Your big gay neighbor!"
--Brian Shay 5/3

4/20/98:
"I'm going to assume that none of you did the homework that was assigned for today..."
--Mr. Mein, Probability and Statistics class, 4/24

"I've got Dolly Parton and Billy Ray Cirus singing to me right over here..."
--Mr. Andre Thomas (!)

"Hey Frank! [Put Bond theme here] Gotcha!"
--[author: Don Grooms]

"Da da, Da DAAAAH!!!"
--Crow, MST3000 [author: Foster]

4/6/98:
"Wuah-ah-ahhh-ughhh!"
--Mr. Mein, while pounding math desks

"You know, it stopped snowing a month ago..."
--Jerry of the Trombone Studio to Lee, who's wearing a snow visor.

"Look at him flirtin' with the girls like he's straight..."
--Brad, about Brain Shay

"OOOEEEEWOOEEUUUH"
--Mr. Saotome [author: Foster]

"The CPS concert was so boring that I couldn't even fall asleep."
--Frank 1:45a.m., 4/9/98 [author: Yeti]

3/30/98:
"You can't spell Dishonorable without honorable."
--Homer Simpson, 3/29/98

"Brian, Lisa is more woman than you'll ever be..."
--Brad

"Dance liiike a 3rd Borg!"
--Frank, telling/combining identities of certain infidels [author: Foster]

"If god had a name, it would be Dennett"
--Dennett [author: Nick (Dennett)]

"It's like 90210..."
--Frank
"Yeah, it's 90210, 'let's go to the cafeteria' music."
--Foster

"If you can't win, cheat"
--Anonymous, I forgot my own name [author: unknown]

"Nevermind, my girlfriend's a lesbian..."
--Ross, "Friends" 4/2/98

"STOP-STOP-STOP-STOP-STOP"
--girl who chanted "STOP" repeatedly (at Lehman) [author: Foster]

"Women haven't really seen my animal-side. If they did, they'd all want to have sex with me."
--Foster under some influence

"Gordy was knocked over at the size of my cock."
--Foster, a moment later

"I hate when Aztecs bust into your hotel room and make you try on belts..."
--Crow, Mystery Sceince Theater 3000

"I eat pieces of shit like you for Breakfast,..." "You eat pieces of shit for Breakfast?"
--Happy Gilmore [author: Dan White]

3/23/98:
"Or possibly eight."
--Brad says with finesse while playing the drinking game "Prince of Whales."

"My 5 dollar job at McDonalds!!!"
--Frank explaining his misery over his 5 dollar job at McDonalds [author: Collin]

"Even I want a woman now!"
--Britt, after the gay chat we all had

"Frank ya gotta use the arrows..."
"Use this!!"
--Frank while bowling (and as he makes a certain hand gesture) [author: Collin and Frank]

"Takin' it like a chair!"
--Frank while losing [author: Collin]

"If winter were alot warmer, it would be summer"
--Dennet after having enough of snow [author: Nick]

"No, because I don't think that's true"
--Frank (over wondering if someone took something of Yeti's...) [author: Britt]

"Where the Bee sucks, there suck I."
--Shakespeare [author: Collin]

"Is that your plate that's stinking?"
--Scott Mulcahy remarking about Brian's plate of PACES. [author: not sure]

"It wasn't really hard..."
--Heather after hitting Collin's snatchal area

"Wow, you'd think she was playing Bingo or something!"
--Frank on old ladies who say the "f" word [author: Britt]

"I fell asleep on Foster, and..."
--Collin explaining his slip into unconciousness last night [author: Britt]

3/16/98:
"Aaargh!!! My Penis!!!"
--Frank [author: Foster... Oh, and I never said that may I add]

The trombone studio learns that next semester there will be some female trombone players. Then...
"That's right, and we're gonna whip you all into shape!"
--Jess Moquin
"That's what we're hoping for!!"
--Eric Pecor

"Get it right, the second time!"
--DeGhett, Psychology Professor [author: Gordy]

"Frank is the Last Rhinestone Cowboy!!"
--Jad

"I like sex."
--Brian Shay at dinner [author: unknown]

"Love is a pretty way of saying 'I want to sleep with you."
--Dude in "Conspiracy Theory"
"Gordy... I love you."
--Frank

"Holy s*!t... there used to be like, Desks..."
--Conspiracy Theory

3/9/98:
"Don't play leap frog with a unicorn"
--Dennett [author: Nick]

"-Gasp- She said alright and snatch in the same sentence!"
--Franky F. [author: Britt]

"OOOWEEEEOOOW"
--Sound effect in Ranma1/2 [author: Foster]

"She's got tits on her back!"
--Brad and Collin simultaneously at the concert [author: Collin]

"Where's the beef?!"
"I've fallen and I can't get up!!"
--Mrs. Monnatti, elderly lady (a legend at Crane) at the 80's extravagenza (Tallman concert)

"Suck my white ass, ball!"
--Adam Sandler, "Happy Gilmore"

3/2/98:
I didn't know there were any banjos IN New York City..."
--Jeff Coffin, Bela Fleck and the Flecktones, 2/12/98

"Hey Danny- those are some crazy pants you're wearin'."
--R.A. Brian Shay
"They're Red..."
--Dan [author: Dan]

"I was the sweet one that longed for her to swallow me whole."
--Writing & Critical Thinking paper [author: Collin]

"Hey Brian!!"
--Brad, as Collin struts down the hall in his boxers

"If you have a big cock, be happy!"
--Brian Shay

"She's the cutest girl I've seen in four days..."
--Frank during the break in Potsdam

"I couldn't help but notice- you don't seem to have what we're looking for."
--Scott Mulcahy

2/23/98
"This is a Cigar, not a penis!"
--Dave Matthews, 12/31/95 show

"Shelby's coming Thursday!"
--Frank to Gordy [author: Britt]

"So I was sitting there listening to music, thinking about Yeti working out..."
--Franky Frank as he drools disgustingly [author: Britt, and I wasn't drooling]

"I could be landing a plane naked, and you'd never know!!"
--Dr. Gordon, Crane Chorus

"Hey John, If you shaved and I was drunk, you'd look pretty good"
--Collin in Brad's room [author: Collin]

"I like Pie!"
--From MST 3000 [author: Gordy]

2/16/98:
"I saw her first!"
--Don (suddenly) to Frank and Collin

"Didn't I tell you to go F- your mother?"
--Joe Pesci, "Goodfellas" [author: Phil Greco]

"...because that way, you get it straight from the horse's mouth."
--that buttmunch from math [author: Britt, and yes, that kid's a hick]

"There's a pile of shit in the bathroom!!
--Dan and all of Knowles North, 1:50 a.m.

"Blow me!!!"
--John Prylo of Knowles North [author: John]

2/9/98:
"Don't blame us-- blame fate."
--Thief, Final Fantasy Tactics

"Are you an usher?"
--Frank trying to pick up a blonde usher at the Bela Fleck concert [author: Yeti]

"Somebody's been practicing!"
--Bela Fleck

"Are you a banjo player?"
--Bela Fleck picking up a blonde [author: Foster... and this quote was never actually said =)]

"F- Valentines Day"
--the F- Valentines day poem

2/2/98:
"Eat lamb- 20,000 coyotes can't be wrong!"
--Probability and Statistics Text

"Soak your cane a little longer."
--Brad Bowman

"I just taught you a very important lesson- I just taught you music sucks!"
--Dr. Imhoff, MCE class

"If it aint Baroque, don't fix it!"
--old music joke

1/28/98:
"Sucking up to the host is not adultery!"
--Dave Letterman, Late Show

"Da-dat, DA DAAAAAA!"
--James Bond "Goldeneye" music when someone dies. [author: Foster]

"Watch... I can be sober."
--"Franky Frank" [author: Brittainy]

"Smile... you are on candid camera!"
--Bond [author: Foster]

12/15/97:
"Shut-up, I'm thinking!"
--Dave Matthews "Warehouse," and finals week

"Dude, this is pretty F'd up right here!!"
--Stan, South Park Christmas special

"Sometimes the note sees the attack coming, and retreats."
--Niles, "Frasier"

12/9/97:
"I don't know, Marge... ...trying is the first step towards failure..."
--Homer Simpson

"If it has blood on it, throw it in the Hudson!"
--David Letterman, Late Show

"Stan forgot to mention his dog was a gay homosexual."
--Cartman, South Park

12/1/97:
"Nuthin' makes ya feel better than a solid dose of Dave!"
--Tom Hanks, Late Show (1993)

"Don't you think you should be preaching hours of abstinence?"
--"IVC" weirdos, sex meeting

"I'm still waiting for the two hours of preaching abstinence..."
--Dan, sex meeting

11/24/97:
"Use my mom... ...she's easy."
--Greg

"You are THIS close to being 100% wrong!"
--Greg

11/17/97:
"Okay, faggot! What's next?!"
--Dom Deluise in "History of the World"

"If you look over and the person next to you is you... ...you're fat."
--Comedian on the Late Show

"Heather!!! I'm not gettin' any!!"
--Neil Bryson

11/10/97:
"It's nice... nice... not thrilling, but nice."
--Dom Deluise in "History of the World"

11/3/97:
"I just did it, I'm ready to do it again, don't tell me you don't do it!"
--Mel Brooks in "History of the World

10/27/97:
"Your majesty- you look like the piss boy!"
--advisor
"And you look like a bucket of $h--!"
--Mel Brooks in "History of the World"

"From now 'til May is gonna be white!"
--some dude in the Union, regarding snowfall

"A-yap-dap-boo-yat-dap-whoa!"
--Dave Matthews, "Redrocks"

10/20/97:
"Wait, dot-dot-dot, I'm not the King!"
--Mel Brooks in "History of the World"

"I just have one question- Where the F--- am I?!!"
--Adam Sandler in Potsdam

(this page was born on 3/14/98)