Edition VI: Fall Semester, 2000: Fin de Siecle
by Frank Hall
The last volume of quotes from Suny Potsdam is upon us...
Enjoy it one last time, as this era draws to a close.
"Okay, I'm gonna go have sex with my girlfriend."
--Pat, on his way out, 8/26
"Erik, can you play with my limes?"
--Kev-O, 8/26
"Frank, have you ever had Busch?"
--Kev-O
"Bach graduated [this particular college] at 14 years of age, instead of 18 years, like that little fellow running around here [in Crane]. He must have been very obnoxious... but we're not talking about Galen, we're talking about Bach!"
--Dr. Henery, 8/27
"Do you know what a 7-course Italian feast is? A pizza and a six-pack."
--Dr. Henery, 8/27
"Just looking at you makes me want to throw up..."
--Frank to Mary Jane, 8/28 [author: Mary Jane] (haha)
"Is this a before and after, like in Wheel of Fortune?" --Erik H.
"Yeah, and I'm Vannah White."
--Dr. Siskind during Hangman, 8/31/00
"Your fear is kind of exciting me."
--Dr. McGinness, 9/6 [author: unknown]
"Did Anna Magdalena smoke?"
--Dr. Henery, 9/11
"She's wearing a life-prevention-hat..." --Frank
".....................a life-preservation-hat..." --F
"......................a life preserver!" --Scott
"........................Oh yeah..." --Frank and Scott being retarded and coming to some bizarre conclusion, 9/11
"Uahh!! Sue, there's a bee on your horn!!" --JP
"There's also a Bee-flat."
--Dr. Hartman (followed by groans), 9/12
"I assume you're all players... In a musical sense."
--Dr. McGinness, 9/15
"I tried to do that, drum and sing at the same time... I suck."
--Barry, bass in Rockapella, 9/16
"Did you see Jen put her arm around Barry?!"
--Jeff, or Scott, of Rockapella, 9/16
"Hey, Rockapella!" "Hey look, it's Scott..."
--Audience members mistaking Frank for Scott from Rockapella!, 9/16
"The Flobe-- It's like a woodchipper for hampsters."
--Erik H., [author: unknown]
"No! I'm not going! I can't dance." --Erik H.
"Is it as bad as your singing?"
--Dr. Siskind, 9/22,.... ...followed by.....
..."Is that a quote, should that be written down?" --Hillary
"Well usually Frank writ-- he's doing it right now!!!! He's got his book open and writing it down!! I don't believe this!! HAHAHA!!"
--Dr. Siskind, 9/22
"Hey... your nuts are on upside down!"
--roadside assistence in Canada, 9/23 [author: Kev-O]
"Did you know you're [always] thinking about sex?" --Dr. Siskind on Freud
"Yeup." --Chris
"That's why you're a drummer!"
--Dr. Siskind, 9/25
"In this unit we have a whole new set of rudiments, yayyyy!!"
--Dr. Siskind, 9/26
"Is that the end of campus?"
--Visiting Greg, as he points toward Main Street, 9/29
"Frank... Do you know how women work??!!"
--Collin to Frank, 9/30 [author: Neil or Collin]
"Do you want to go into the bathroom and see something cool?"
--Collin to Neil, 9/30 [author: Neil]
"Did you enjoy your PISS?!"
--Neil to Karen, 9/30
"I'm the king of segues."
--Dr. Siskind, 10/4
"Oh go blow yourself!"
--Scott A. to a particular individual at the Student Teaching meeting, 10/5
"I'm composing a cantata this weekend." --Dr. Siskind
"Oh, you too, huh?"
--Peter Coffin, 10/6
"Meep... crick... cri-crick..."
--The crickets in the empty halls of October break [author: unknown]
"You'll understand this, better than the losers who blew off class today."
--Dr. Siskind, 10/6
"We picked random frickin pitches, and put them on the board!"
--Chris on serialism, 10/6
"Are you a chick with a stick?"
--Tammy to Laura S.
"Can anyone make a perspicacious observation?" --Dr. Siskind
"What's perspicacious mean?" --Laura S.
"Smart." --Dr. S
"HA!! That's so IRONIC!!" --Chris
"'Pussy-Galore's Flying Circus'..." --Lisa reads, as she watches James Bond
"Now that's a place where I want to be!"
--Scott A., 10/15
"I think I'm going with those cross-town Mets this year."
--Dr. Henery, regarding the Subway Series, 10/18
"Hello Principal Skinner, hello Super Nintendo Chalmers."
--Ralph Wiggum, 10/18 [author: Scott A.]
"How did the percussionist's braincell die? ...Loneliness."
--Dr. Siskind, 10/18
"Are there gonna be any hot girls in your class?" --Chris
"Chris, you're asking the wrong person!"
--Dr. Siskind, 10/18
"I didn't have a football team in high school. It's a good thing we have a team at Potsdam..."
--Erik H., 10/24
"I don't like the Mets, I like Piano Concertos."
--Dr. McGinness, 10/25
"Yup, that's right. I've got pencil envy."
--Dr. Siskind, regarding Jim's $4.00 pencil
"Where's Socrates? We even have his favorite breakfast, Count Chocula..."
--Dr. DiGiovanna, 10/25 [author: Scott A.]
"This CD case... I feel it threatens my sexuality."
--Scott A., 10/28
"What makes Italian different from English?" --Dr. Siskind
"Pizza."
--Erik H., 11/1
"It sounds like 'Dr. Who', you know, that show?" --Peter C.
"Try describing it as if you were an academic [person]." --Dr. Siskind
"I-found-that-this-piece-sounded-like-something-out-of-Doctor-Who."
--Peter, anunciating, 11/1
"It's like watching pornography. It looks like they're having a lot more fun up there than over here!!"
--Dr. Siskind on free jazz; Indeterminacy, 11/1
"You're all shooting in the dark! It's like playing tennis with Hellen Keller!"
--Mr. LaVine to the woodwinds, 11/1
"We needed that new fire drill system like a high-powered nuclear underwater saxophone."
--Mr. LaVine, frustrated, 11/2
"What are you teaching [next semester], Theory I?" --Frank S.
"No, actually they fired me."
--Dr. McGinness, 11/1 [author: James]
"If everything is music, then nothing is music."
--an angry letter to John Cage by Charles Berry
"B-Major drunken scale."
--Scott A., 11/3
"I think we should forget about these classes and do a week of interpretive dance."
--Dr. McGinness, 11/6 [author: unknown]
"There's nothing more hellacious than grading lousy 12-tone compositions at 1:30 in the morning."
--Dr. Siskind, 11/6
"Making a piccolo play soft is like shooting a duck out of the sky with a Howitzer."
--Mr. LaVine, Band, 11/8
"Ahhhh, my phallic symbol!!!"
--Frank, as a figurine falls and breaks in half, 11/9 [author: Scott A.]
"I need someone to analyze my socks."
--Mr. LaVine, 11/9
"I actually think we should make Joe Pesci the President. He would get the job done."
--Mr. LaVine, 11/9
"Oh my God! Foster how did you magically appear like that?!" --Frank
"It's Foster, Frank, get over it."
--Britt, 11/10
"Your instrumental racism has spread throughout the class!"
--Chris R. to Dr. Siskind, 11/14
"That girl's hot..." --Yeti
"...Yeah, but she's f'ed up." --Scott
"Well I'm f'ed up too."
--Yeti, as he gets up to go look, 11/17 [author: Scott]
"We went to snatch her, and she wanted to be snatched."
--Final Fantasy IX
"I have to make a massive user download on the e-toilet."
--Collin C., 11/27
"When your pants are falling down, you gotta mke your belt tighter..."
--Dr. Lanz while undoing his belt during Chorus rehearsal, 11/30 [author: Kevin M.]
"It's very dangerous to do atonal sight singing and then do course evaluations."
--Dr. Siskind, 11/30
"You didn't go to the St. Matthew Passion?" --McGinness Theory 2 class
"You've gotta be kidding! ...That trash! I hate tonality!'
--Dr. McGinness, 12/5 [contributor: James T.]
"I make less money than the people at McDonald's."
--Dr. McGinness, 12/9 [contributor: James T.]
"I doubt Edwin McCain knows the word perspicacious."
--Dr. Siskind
"Stu didn't hear that, he's too busy grabbing the other two girls over there."
--Mr. LaVine, 12/7
"Frank! I think we're onto something here... BURNING CANDLES!!"
--Scott A., meaning to say pencils, 12/9
"I'd like to visit that Long Island place... ...if only it were real..."
--Marge, Simpsons, 12/10
"...as in the fecal deposit bucket..."
--Frank describing the toilet, 12/11 [author: Scott A.]
"Oh boy! Buffalo testicles!"
--Homer Simpson, 5/20
"Kim!!!!" --Frank
"Greg?!!!" --Kim
"...Frank." --Frank, correcting the girl as Scott, Collin and Lisa fall on the floor hysterical with laughter, 5/18
"Will these be together on the same bill?" --Waitor Ben
"Yeah." --Scott
"....We're not gay or anything." --Collin, 5/18
....for now...
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