These quotes are completely home-grown. They occur in the lives of Mike, Greg, Chris, Kel, Yeti, Pat, myself, and those around us.
"Have you seen Dawn? ... She's hot."
--Chris' Mom, 11/99
"I want to be Sbarro."
--Greg, Roosevelt Field Mall, 12/99
"There is nothing color about color gameboy."
--Chris, 1/00
"The next time you IM her... it better be ground-breaking. ... Ask her mom about her cup size."
--Chris to Bill, 2/29/00
"Fax me, baaby.."
--Greg, singing at Mike's, during 'The Sixth Sense', 5/22/00
"My brother is coming home from Turkey..." --Pat
"Is he bringing any back?"
--Mike, 5/23/00
"I could eat a whole thing of mustard right now."
--Chris, 6/7/00
"I feel like I'm in a role-playing game."
--Frank, sitting down at the PostOffice Cafe, a bar of an "inn-like" atmosphere
"No, please, don't hold back an explanation. I have to see if you're crazy or not."
--Mike, 8/2/00
Laura: "That's the thesbian I was talking about..."
Frank: "Lesbian?"
MaryAnn: "Lesbian??"
Laura to MaryAnn: "Are you a lesbian?"
Nick Gimberlein: "Did you just ask if she was a lesbian??"
--One line after another, Phelp's Lane, 8/2
"F*%$ you, campus!!"
--Chris suddenly, after seeing a CW Post commercial, 8/5/00
"It looks like I just walked through a sprinkler, too."
--Chris, after he, Mike, Kel, and Frank ("Bill") all unintentionally walk through Applebees' Sprinkler, 8/5/00
"Jimmy, when true love is unrequieted, the whole world... ...is a bunch of crap."
--Bill McNeal (Phil Hartman), Newsradio
"Kudos to you! And Kudos again!!"
--Bill McNeal, Newsradio
"I love you, Danielle."
--Chris at Applebees', 8/24/00
"Did she say she was gonna give you a kidney? Cuz I don't think you'll accept anything less than that."
--Mike, 10/9/00
"Do you want to have sex in space?"
--Shetal
"Sure."
--Greg, 11/22
"It looked like King Kong f-'d my basement."
--Chris, 11/22
"Mike's donating [these movies] to the Frank Hall Fund."
--Frank
"You have a fund?"
--Greg, 11/22
"Whoa, he has rabis!"
--Greg, 12/17
"Should we exchange gifts this year?"
--Mike
"If you would like to, then I will."
--Greg
"Well you know I love you and you love me, so let's just give each other hugs."
--Mike, 12/20
"You should get your sister a gift certificate to Tattoo Lou's. She should get a heart." --Mike
"No!" --Frank
"...or an arrow." --Greg
"No...!" --Frank
"Or a sign at the waist that reads, 'if you've come this far, keep going!'"
--Mike, 12/20
"F-ing piece of S-- hermaphrodite!"
--Greg, 12/20
"I have a cow's ass in my mouth."
--Mike, 12/29
"It's snowy out heeeere...."
--Greg whining outside of Mike's window, wanting to be let in, 1/8/01
"If you leave sprite out long enough... it turns into water."
--Chris, 1/8/01
"What's wrong with my little cracker?"
--Shetal in reference to her Greg, 1/19/01
"I feel like Chris... my inspection has expired. Between that and the flat tire I had the other day, I was half expecting an English family to move in."
--Frank, 1/27/01
"Let's just get Ecco the Dolphin and call it a night."
--Chris, at Blockbuster, 2/22/01
"Do you want me to vibrate you?"
--Kelly, 3/2/01
"Don't play with my softness."
--Mike, 3/2/01
"Hulk does not receive b-j-'s."
--Mike, 3/17/01
"Hoes, Bill?? What, are we black now?"
--Chris, 3/24/01
"I wish we could just tie up Greg somewhere and let his hair grow out."
--Chris, 3/24/01
"I just wanna go home and take apart my tv now."
--Chris, 4/6/01
"Does it have to be a little girl?" --Bill
"Of course it has to be a little girl!"
--Chris, 4/10/01
"I stole cheese-its from someone's cubicle today."
--Chris, 4/10/01
"Let me draw little faces on your nipples."
--Shetal to Greg, 4/15/01
"I'm going to sit down now... ...in the pool."
--Mike, after discovering he just got a pair of 3rd row DMB tickets, 5/27/01
"I see Jackie roller blading down Little East Neck Road in the turning lane..." --Mike
"With a baby carriage??"
--Greg, 5/27/01
"Yeti-1, Boydog-Nothing."
--Yeti to Frank's Dog, 5/27/01
"Greg's Mom like, gave me the tongue on my way in..."
--Chris, 6/29/01
"Mike, give me your penis."
--Shetal, so she could reach the remote or something, 7/4/01
"I have cat-like reflexes. ...I have 83 agility."
--Greg, after being attacked by Shetal, 7/4/01
"My fish are so cool."
--Greg, 7/4/01
"If you went in and s*** on his desk, he'd fire you."
--Mike, in regards to his boss at NDG, 7/9/01
"I saved you guys $3.00. Later you'll have to toss my salad."
--Greg, 7/14/01
"Can your dog still mate?" --Mike
"No." --Greg
"Why not?" --Mike
"He's got no nuts." --Greg
"Why would you do that?" --Mike, with sympathy
"Hungry." --Greg, 7/14/01
"What?-Everyone's been to a black lesbian wedding before!"
--Chris, 8/25
"Chris, no more!! You're not taking any showers in the bathtub tonight!!"
--Chris' Mom regarding drinking, 8/25
"Are you gonna puke tonight?"
--Chris' Mom
"If you keep on talking about this car thing I am!!"
--Chris, 9/21
"I wanna be the hot French maid..."
--Frank regarding "Clue"
"No, you just wanna DO the hot French maid!"
--Kel, 9/28
"Gentlemen, do you need a gift for your ladies?"
--Saleswoman at Macy's
Greg: "No thanks."
Mike: "I'm gay."
Saleswoman: "Alright...."
--9/29
"I have no muscle. I'm all muscle and penis."
--Mike, 10/5
"Heartlessbitches.com... OH! ___ must be on this site!"
--Chris, 10/5
"You can't have a guerilla war without bananas."
--Greg watching Bush's address on attacking Afghanistan, 10/11
2002:
"Argentina?! That's not a country!!"
--Chris at dinner with the English boys, 1/5/02
"We love the gayness."
--Mike, 1/12/02
"Hi snailies..."
--Mike, entranced by the snails, 1/12/02
"They accept checks?! Oh I'm going back and buying some crazy s***."
--Chris, regarding AudioDen, 2/2/02
"These speakers will treat you better than (...) did."
--Chris, ...and sorry for the anonymous name :'), 2/2/02
"Oh! Bill would call this a paper clip but it's really not a paper clip?" --Mike
"A trombone??"
--Greg, in playing Taboo... The answer was, of course, a safety pin (A trombone, Greg??), 2/12/02
"Cupid?! I thought my name was 'Inverted'!"
--Greg, 3/5/02
"Bye Fish..."
--Greg, 4/6/02
"I wonder if your antennae fits in my hole."
--Greg, 4/12/02
"It's what happens to the death star..."
"Blows up? Runs out of gas??"
--Mike and Greg playing Taboo
"Christmas animals in the sky!!" --Frank
"Reindeer?!" --Greg and Kel, another game of Taboo
"You put on boots to go up..." --Frank
"...Mountain Climbing??" --Mike
"Yes!! And what is that??" --Frank
"Mountain Climbing??" --Mike, a game of Taboo, 4/16/02
"I have a tattoo on my breast..." --Shetal
"Oh yeah of what?" --Mike or Greg
"The other breast." --Shetal, random encounter at Subway, 4/20/02
"Ahh, who needs women?" --Waitress at Applebee's
"I do."
--Mark, 4/26/02
"Kim, don't wrestle me because I'll just like it."
--Chris, 5/24/02
"Speaking of which, how's [Anne]. She still taking the C?" --Chris
"That tubby bitch loves the C." --Mike, 5/24/02
"Bounty Hunter?" --Mike
"Isn't that [Anne]? Oh no that's Booty Hunter." --Frank, 6/7/02
"Oh I'm not getting my face outta this."
--Mike, 6/29/02
"Mike, I'm peeing!"
--Greg, shouting in the middle of the Bay, alongside his boat, 7/18/02
"Clamming is defined as: you go swimming and you catch stuff."
--Greg, clamming with Mike and Frank, 7/18/02
"'Teenie Weenie Macaroni and Cheese'... What's that ya think?" --Frank
"Probably Macaroni and Cheese."
--Greg, Kel's Birthday in the City, 8/30/02
"It's a cruise you don't come back from..." --Frank, trying to describe the "Three Hour Tour.."
"...The Titanic?!"
--Greg, in a game of Taboo, 9/11/02
"Ugh, I gotta lug all this stuff back now?" --Kel regarding unopened Christmas boxes
"Well, you could just leave it here with the hopes that it'll get thrown out..."
--Frank, Post-Christmas Christmas at Chris', 12/27/02
"Is there anything else we can do for you besides open presents, Kel?" --Frank
"Can we make you a cup of hot cocoa or something?"
--Chris, Post-Christmas Christmas, 12/27/02
"This girl's so hot even I want to do her!"
--Kel, regarding Elizah Dushku, 12/27/02
"Kel, would you eat o.. Elizah Dushku?"
--Chris, 12/27/02
