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| The writings on this page are copywrited by Charles Townsend III and may in no way be copied for business or personal use without the express witten consent of Charles Townsend III. Any unauthorized reproduction of this page will result in either prosecution to the fullest extent of the law, or death, whichever comes first. |
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| Alone Alone, I am alone. Even with all my friends and those that care about me, I am alone. A great sadness and emptiness fills me, Loneliness bites deep into my soul. I am as a stirring breeze that others can feel but cannot take hold of. I long for their touch even though I slip through their fingers. I pretend to be a cheerful gale, Blowing through their lives and trying to make them smile. I am good at hiding the sadness and only rarely do they see it. I put on a mask of false happiness. Sometimes they feel that something is wrong with me, But they can't quite comprehend the dark sadness that fills me always, The darkness of the void in my soul. |
| Life Changes I am lonely, There is a void where my heart used to be. A great, dark sadness, Which has always been a part of me, Fills me more and more each day. Then one day I see her. She dances. And even though I know it's too good to be true, She seems to dance just for me. A spark shines in the void... I see her gliding gracefully by, Fleeting glances of her in the corners of my vision, A princess who would find no interest in one such as me. Yet she smiles at me. The spark becomes a small glow... Every time I open my eyes I am hoping for a chance to see her, Knowing that she is too good for me. Every man drops at her feet as she walks by, Hoping for her to glance in her direction. She talks to me, Her eyes sparkle when she laughs. She takes my hand. The glow becomes a small star... I dream of holding her in my arms, Of kissing her sweet lips. I hold myself back, My fear of love is strong. Do I dare love her? She is everything I ever wanted and so much more. She takes me to her castle. I let myself fall in love with her, Afraid that telling her will break the spell and she'll fade away. I look into her eyes and I see in them that she loves me. I take a chance and tell her that I love her. She tells me that she loves me too. The star becomes brighter than the sun. I know that I will love her forever. And then she leaves me and the sun is extinguished, Replaced by the void. The great, dark sadness once more fills me. I am lonely once more. |
| Outside Outside of me, I think, I feel, Outside the prison of flesh I wear. I long to be free, To hold the world around me in my arms, Cradling it like a child, A child that is too wild to be held. |
| Half a Page I am but half a page, Rent assunder by the cruel hand of fate, Separated from the one that made me whole. Although someday, someone may try to make me whole again. It will only be an illusion, Brought about by tape and glue. I will never, truly, be whole. |
| The Dark Wind The dark wind blows, Swirling around me. Undaunted by the fingers of the earth that reach up to it with the caress of a lover. I am brushed by hands whose touch is smoother than the finest spun silk. I close my eyes and I am wrapped up in a gentle embrace that promises to take me away into a loving peacefulness that will last forever. I drift for a while, Happy and safe in my lover's arms. I open my eyes and there is no one there. Nothing except the dark wind, Taunting me with a peacefulness I will never have. "I am here," it whispers in my mind, "and except for me you are alone." I feel myself drifting away on the dark wind, Longing for something physical to hold. My hands grasp at nothing... Nothing... Nothing... Nothing... ......... |
| Darkness There is a soft, warm darkness closing in on me. A blanket of blackness that comforts and fills with despair. I feel safe within it's shadowy folds, Snuggling into the lonliness it provides. With it comes the end of life and the beginning of walking death. For one cannot feel the pain of the heart when that pain is all you know. Smiles grace my face in the form of a mask, For I no longer know what true happiness is. I find myself laughing a hollow laugh, Living a hollow existence. I am as an automoton, Reacting as I should react, With no real feeling behind my actions. I find myself wondering why I laugh at a jest, When inside I felt no laughter. The only thing I find amusement in, Is watching the puppets around me dance at the ends of fate's strings. I feel no pity for anyone. For I am broken, And this neverending pain I bear is so much greater than other's petty heartaches. I am the walking dead, Doomed to wander the desolate plain of my conciousness. |
| Beautiful Falsehood My forbidden love ends in solitude, Death lost in her deep kiss. My hollow soul bleeds. I am the God of Shadow, A soulless devil, Dying with promises of life. With every sweet whisper she touched my desolate heart. I drink in my scarlet tears, Fate's tragic victim. |
| Where Are You Now? I gave my bleeding heart to you. You said that you would heal it, You said it would be OK. But where are you now? I poured my soul into you, You drank it in like fine wine. I wished for you to do the same, But here I am dying of thirst. What happened? You said that we would hold each other forever, But all I grasp is the warm breeze of your passing, The memory of a once great love. I search for you but you are no longer there, The scent of you thick in my mind. Now I find love only in the dreams that scatter when I awake. They leave in my mouth the torturous taste of love never to be truly felt. The taste that leaves me starving with a hunger to be truly loved, To find someone who won't use me as a temporary stop on their journey through life. I thought that I had found the love that I was looking for, Someone to love me as much as I loved them, But where are you now? |
| Binding Love I think of her always. I think of how she held me in her arms, Her sweet lips touching mine, The depth of her eyes and her love for me, How she held my heart in bondage to hers. I wish I could be free of those bonds, Free to love again the way I loved her. Yet I love those chains that bind my heart. The links are welded together, And are tight, So that no other love may squeeze through to hurt me. Someday I may find someone to break the chains that bind me, But until then, I am a prisoner of my own heart. |
| Misunderstood I just want to die, To bear no more pain. You look at me and I smile at you. I feel you happiness, I feel your emotions, That is the only way I can feel happiness. I am cold inside. It is dark where I live, I cannot allow myself to love. You don't want me! No one does. No one will ever want to take a chance on someone such as me, Someone so dead. I am desperate to find someone who cares, Who will accept me for who I am, But there is no one there. Why?! Why am I such a Misfit!!! I'm so lonely! I will always be lonely. I'm sorry! I'm sorry if I care for you too much. I know... You don't want anyone to care for you too much! OOPS! MY MISTAKE! I gave you everything!!! AAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Should I give you nothing?! NO ONE UNDERSTANDS! NO ONE EVER WILL!!! |
| The Pain I spy her from my perch on the precipice of reality, A dragon of ink curls around her neck beneath course, cropped, jet-black hair. Her milkwhite skin glows faintly in the moonlight, And in the harsh, orange light of the street lamps, Her green eyes flash at me. A cynical smile creeps across her face. "No one really knows me," She states in silence, "Who am I to you? Just a toy to play with and break, Like so many others before me?" But she does not know me, She does not know my pain. I am the one who is broken, By those like her. Those wanting love, Those wanting someone like me. But after a time they tire of it. They tire of the love, They tire of the happiness. I offer them all of me, To do with as they wish, And they throw me away to find drama and pain. For we are all addicted to pain. Pain is a drug that is needed to feel alive. I have had an overdose of that drug, And want nothing more to do with it, For too much living has killed me. Now my drug is love, Of which I find none. I look upon her and see her infinite beauty. I look past her flesh and see the soul within, A soul scarred from injections, Of the pain she is so addicted to. I long to set her free, To become her Dark Prince, But she is jaded by the pain that she loves so much. If she will only let me in, If she will only let me love her, Let me take her pain away. But no, That will never happen, For I am doomed to be alone in my love, Loving those that will not love me. And her smile fades, And those emerald eyes look away. I am once again left perched on my precipice, With her face in my heart, For that is all I will ever know of her. |
| Romance Lost The dawn comes, And once again I hide my tear streaked face from the revealing light of the sun. Another night has passed, Spent without the warmth of human embrace. A dark mood passes through me, And I wonder what's wrong with me. I've spent my life trying to become the perfect lover, But I am a lover that can never find love. No one wants romance anymore, Sure, they say that they do, But it is only a fantasy, And when the fantasy is fulfilled, It loses it's charm. My soul is old, And caught in the way things used to be. A time when romance won hearts, And love lasted forever. I am not meant for this world, A world of loneliness and disbelief in love. My kind of love is not needed any longer. I long to be free from this cursed body, In this cursed time, Unable to go back, And unable to go forward. But the dawn will come again, And the cold nights will continue, And every day of life will bring me one night closer to the relief of death. |
| The Plea Where are you? My savior, my love. I wait for you to come, To drain the red river that flows within me. Do you see me, From your perch in the night? Do you see my pain? The pain that has turned me into a predator, A hunter of love. I am turning into a creature of darkness, A starving beast. Come to me and set me free. Do as you like, But release me from this tortured existence. Whether by my death at your hands, To feed your cravings, Or by giving me a new life, A life of neverending thirst more suited to me. The thirst that I have now, This thirst for love, I can do nothing about. What you can give me, No other can. I am a hunter with no prey in this mortal form. Will you please come, I beg of you. Will you please come and take this pain away. |
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