| Through all my life I have encountered many thngs that most people won't go through. One of the most powerful things I have witnessed in my life was a incident in a supermarket on 12/24/99. Where I lived in Hollywood some stores have bag checks, which is some what of a annoyance, but I see why they do it. Well continuing with my biblical story, the lanes to check the bags goes from 3 to 2 to 1. Remember, in this market there's people like you and me, people in suits, normal sane civilized people. As I get into the line to leave, there is a old woman with a walker in front of me going at the speed of a mile a year. So what happens when I get to lane 2, the woman is making very slow progress, and she is almost about to get to the point where she is only going to be the one in the 1 person lane. It might take her a full minute to clear the lane, what happens people in three piece suits, normal looking people, start doing absurd retardo Olympics to get passed her to get out. They can't wait 30 seconds or a minute for the woman to get out, their life is so goddamn important that they have to half way knock this woman over, it's ridiculous their knocking into the walls, knocking into the woman with her groceries, I'm like no, man can't you wait for a minute, and their like no I have to get home to watch a show, got to do this and that. Grown up normal people acting like vicious nasty 11 year old weak children, only when your 11 years old it's ok if you act like a nasty rotten little son of a bitch, because hopefully you'll grow out of it, some people grow into it. So there knocking the lady over, and I'm just sitting there watching, being disgusted by the second by this people turning themselves into living carcasses of shit right in front of me. Their knocking into the woman, she finally gets out and now she has the nine mile walk to the door and she's going there, and there's people making their way around her like I don't want to get caught with her. They are really in a big goddamn hurry now because the world might end, if they don't get to the parking lot and hurry home to what ever bullshit they have to withstand for the rest of the evening. So it takes like 2 full minutes and I'm just watching, I'm her fan now, I'm like ok this is great. So she crouches at a safe way and then crouches on over a trash can. And right above her are blinking Christmas lights and people running back and forth in the chili December weather it was like 80 degrees, it was really cold out there. She's bent over the trash can and it looks like she was looking for something and was sort of bouncing and I thought maybe she had some type of old timers disease or something. And she's looking down there and I'm like what the fuck is she doing, so I walked around her and this woman is crying into the trash can, a woman on December 24, Christmas lights over her head with her little sack of groceries, hanging on to the left handle of her four legged walker crying into the trash can. It's one of the most powerful things I ever have seen in my life. I walked all the way home just having a feeling of deep resounding rage like you want to grip something and straggle it but there is nothing to grab. What made me really disgusted was the weakness of people, I despise weakness, I despise weakness in everything, I despise weakness in myself I try to get rid of it all the time. What I am getting at is the woman in the walker crawling; there are some people that can't justify their own existence unless they make some one else crawl. Maybe some of you have been made to crawl, and if you haven't maybe you should go out and experience a experience that makes you crawl. There is always millions of people lining up to make you crawl and when you are in the position of crawling be careful of the shoes, because there's always will be some one, maybe even some one you know or you think you love who will be grinding their boot down on your head, and if you ever had that happened to you, you know how much it hurts. And if you ever try to advance yourself which you hopefully you're trying to do with your life. Advancing yourself, elevataing yourself, true advancement and true elevation does not come when you elevate yourself by pushing down on some else's shoulders. True advancement does not come from sticking a guy in his ass with a knife and knocking him out of the way, so you can stand where he was standing. Thats not advancement that's not elevation that's just petty cruel vicious weak bullshit, by those who want to make some one else crawl, if your not careful you can make some one crawl with out knowing it, and the best thing you can do with that is just to make sure that you never do that to anybody even though they did it to you, because it's weak, and weakness is just bullshit. Always Fenri |