Shall we angst some more? I hear groans from readers

 

Chapter 5: Watercolor

 

            Lance stared as Ash clung to him tightly, body pressed against his. * He kissed me back? What-! *

            “Red? What are you doing?!”

“Do you love me, Lance-chan?” Red whispered, the barest hint of a whisper, as he hugged Lance tightly. * He kissed me! He has to love me, right? Oh please, please, let it work…*

 

“Yamate, please stop…you shouldn’t do this.” Lance shook his head, starting to panic. * And note to self, do not attempt flirting again… *

“Nani? Why?”

“Although I know as a teenager you might have these… stirrings, please do not feel you need to be concerned about me. I don’t do one-night stands.” Lance said, untangling Red as he stalked off. * That might have been a bit far though… *

“Besides, I would have thought that as your teacher you might have had respect for me.”

A barrier of ice went up, leaving Red quite alone in the cave.

“Besides, how do you know what love is? You’re still a child. I can’t love you, you’re my student.”

And as the final walls of magic wards slid down, Ash could only stare in disbelief.

 

Red sat on the floor, clutching his knees to his chest, and wondering how it could have gone so wrong.

He…he doesn’t’ love me?

He doesn’t love me! Why?

Why? What did I do wrong?

I thought… I thought…

Wasn’t my love for him true enough?

Was my love not true? It wasn’t a lie; I really loved him! I still love him!

This isn’t some sort of teenage fling! How could he call it that! This is no spring haze! I’ve always admired him.

So why can’t I love him truly?

I thought he might have…

Maybe…

 

You thought what, an inner voice mocked. How could he love someone like you? That was disgusting!
            He didn’t even mean it! It was just for luck or something! He was proud of you, and so he reacted that way.

Now quit whining and think of what you can do to make it up!

Ash closed his eyes. * I still need to fulfill the dragon master goal… so… I can’t just ignore him. *

            Oh, but how I wish I could…

            Is it wrong to love me back, Lance-chan?

 

 

            “I am never trying that again.” Lance said empathically.

            “You can’t just leave the poor kid alone like that, aniki.” Claire told him.

            “Oh? Then what should I do?”

            “Hmm…” Claire crossed her legs as she thought. “Well, obviously, he has a childish crush on you.”
            “I have that fact down.”

            “So you could simply ignore it.”

            “That could work,” Lance said, thoughtfully. “After all, I can’t leave him because he has to finish testing and become a master.”

            “So you have no feelings for him.”

            “None at the moment.’

            Claire nodded. * At the moment… so… perhaps when he’s older, although I doubt aniki will ever drop the age difference issue. *

            “I’ll keep the barriers up for a few more days, hopefully he can be calmed before then.”

            “Well, I’m going back to Dragon’s Den.” Claire said. “Having me here might strain your relationship even farther. I only needed a few tips and you’ve given them to me already.”

            “Goodbye little sister.”

            “Bye.”

            And so Claire and her pokemon departed.

 

            Six days later the barriers dropped.

            Ash felt the beginnings of wild hope flutter in his chest as Lance walked out.

            “Shall we continue where we left off?” The Dragon Master asked, giving no indication of the argument.

            With a sinking feeling, Ash nodded, and the lessons resumed.

            It was a very uneasy day.

 

            True, Lance wasn’t mean or anything, he never was, but even the slightest bit of warmth had bled out.

            The food he made was still tasty, and Lance still took good care of him, but… no smiles, no faint laughter, nothing!
            Nothing at all…

 

            What have I done to him?

            It had been a month. A month since that fateful incident.

            During that time, conditions had not improved.

            What have I done…what have I done…

            Lance-chan, I never meant to hurt you, please understand.

            Please?

            I’ll shatter, you’re so cold, and you’ve become ice and dragon’s fire that freezes everything!

            Please, please, I’m sorry, I really am sorry, but…

            Why don’t I regret letting you know I love you?

            Why…

 

            I still love you; can’t you see that? Please don’t’ push me away.

            I need you! I need you to smile at me, anything! But this, this coldness, I can’t take it!
            Please, please, I want us to go back to the way it was but I still love you. Can’t you accept that?

            Please…

 

End Chapter