My name is Mary and I have been a recovering alcoholic for the last seven years.
I have lived in the Shadows of addiction through most of my life and understand the torture and pain and suffering caused by addiction in life. There are all kinds of addiction. Most of my early life was plagued with food addiction which I quickly substituted with alcohol addiction as soon as I was of an age to drink. After numerous hospitalizations, and attempts to go it alone I eventually found my peace through AA and the discovery of the Twelve Steps to Recovery. The greatest relief in my life came the day I accepted that ' I was powerless over alcohol' and 'Came to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity'.
The next step involved being prepared to hand over my will and my life to a Power that I didn't really know whether or not I believed in. I was at my personal rock bottom. My life was plagued with demons, my mind was consumed with where I would get my next drink. Reality was that anything had to be better than where I was at. There is a witty Irish saying that goes "My Life's OK, I get up, I drink, I fall down, that's OK". That was where I was. I got up, I drank, I fell down, and I was six months pregnant to boot and I was not OK.
But I found my way into a Treatment Center with the help of family who cared enough to help and for the first time in my life I listened to what was being said to me. Handing over to a Power greater than myself (whom I choose to call God) was the greatest relief. I was no longer alone. Somebody cared enough to reach down and touch me and show me the way. I found Peace and Serenity, words I had forgotten about. I found AA to be one of the best support groups at the start of my recovery. Being in the same room as and speaking with people who had been there, done that and were proudly wearing the T Shirts made such a difference. The fellowship and understanding I found in the rooms of AA kept me sane when I was new and raw to sobriety. When I was despairing someone was always able to tell me about their similar situation and how they came to find answers.
I have also had the wonderful experience of finding Al anon when I needed it. Alcoholism is a cunning and deceiving disease that will lead you into believing that everything is alright. You can live in the madness of an alcohol ruled house and honestly believe you are okay. You can be beaten twice a day by an alcohol crazed person (beaten mentally and physically) and yet when you're friends ask what's wrong you answer nothing - I'm Okay. The only way that healing can start is to admit there is something wrong, there is nothing you can do to change it, and honestly and fearlessly reach out for help. If you are in this situation today, remember anything has to be better than the way you are right now!
Twelve Steps Of AA
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol -that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove all our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Some Net Links I have found very helpful
