Galadriel nearly died of shock when she arrived in the rooms she shared with Celeborn that night.

"Celeborn!" she shrieked. "*What* do you think you're doing, and *why* are you doing it?"

Celeborn looked over from where he stood in front of a full-length mirror that stood in one
corner of their bedroom. He was squeezed into one of Galadriel's sheer silk nightgowns, his long
legs and arms bare and glistening slightly in the dim light, lightly oiled. His face bore traces
of makeup, and his hair was a mess. Dried sweat covered him. His eyes were wide as he stared at
his Lady, and he cringed slightly upon seeing the look in her eyes, the one that always went
before some pronouncement of ultimate doom.

"Ummm..." he stammered. "I was... ummm... working?"

"As what?" she demanded. "A cheap harlot?"

He blushed as he had not in countless years. "No!" he said. Then he shrugged one shoulder, a
sheepish look on his face. "Not a *cheap* harlot, in any case..."

Flames seemed to spark with anger in her eyes. "*What*, then? An *expensive* harlot?"

He backed away slowly, tugging unconsciously at one of the shoulder-straps that was digging into
his shoulder. "Yes?" he said softly, cringing.

Galadriel drew in a deep breath, let it out in a hissing breath. She ran one perfectly manicured
hand down her face, then glared. "And why, O Lord of mine, are you acting the whore?"

"I... I prefer the term 'courtesan'," he said quietly, flinching as her glare redoubled. He
sighed. "There was no other choice, Galadriel," he said at last.

"Oh?" came the icy reply. "And why is that?"

He sighed again, sat on their bed, smoothing the sheer silk over his lap- or at least, over the
small portion the short garment covered. "Galadriel, we have focused on war for so long, and
keeping ourselves isolated, allowing no outsiders to breach our borders. We have had no trade
with other countries for decades."

Her expression said it clearly: *So what*?

He swallowed. "There is no easy way to say this. Galadriel, we're broke. We have no more money
left. Do you think it's cheap outfitting all of our border-guards, paying for your bi-daily
manicures and massages and hair appointments, and my therapy? Not to mention replacing the 5,938
arrows the guards seem to go through every week, and feeding every mouth in Lothlorien?" He
sighed. "There is nothing left."

Galadriel stared. Then she quickly fetched her makeup kit and fixed his makeup, then his hair.

Before Celeborn quite knew what happened, she was pushing him out of their rooms, and down to the
ground. "Galadriel?" he asked uncertainly.

"Get out there and don't come back until morning! I want you to return loaded down with coins!
Go!" she ordered.

Then she walked slowly away towards their audience chamber. As she went, he could hear her
muttering quietly to herself. "Who else could I send out? Who else would look good in my
lingerie? Haldir? Yes. And his brothers. Who else?" She sighed. "I need to buy more
nightgowns." She sighed again, then noticed him standing there, staring. "Don't just stand
there! Get to work!"

With a sigh, Celeborn wandered off into the capital city of 'Lorien to ply his new trade.

END