QUOTES FROM '07:
Bio Pickup Lines: (besides the first two marked, all created by our IBBio2HL pd. 6 class)
I wish I was DNA Helicase, so I could unzip your genes. (anonymous, classic)
I want to be your derivative, so I could lay tangent to your curves (anonymous, classic.)
You're the light to my dark cycle.
You're so hot that you're denaturing my enzymes.
Let's make like Adenine and Thymine and hook up.
Are you AUG? 'Cause you turn me on.
Are you a retrovirus? 'Cause you're growing on me.
Are you vasodilation? 'Cause you make my blood flow.
Do you wanna make some Punnett squares to find out what our kids would be like?
Let's be metaphase and meet in the middle.
You must be cytokinesis, 'cause that's a nice cleavage furrow.
I'm a lonely haploid cell, but you complete me.
Everyone else looks like a polar body compared to you.
Do you believe in love at first phenotype?
Are you epistasis? 'Cause everything else just disappeared.
You must be a restrictive enzyme, 'cause you just cut out my heart.
Let's conduct.
You're so cool I've got a pilomotor response.
Let's honeymoon on the Islets of Langerhans.
You don't radiate heat, you radiate beauty!
"Kill the voters. That's a good way to be president." - Jen R., r.e. Stalin + Roosevelt
"Do any of you think of your boyfriend or girlfriend when you think of that? ... Do any of you even have a boyfriend or girlfriend? ... Of course you don't, what am I saying? You're losers. We're in drama." - Krikstan, r.e. Theatre students
"You guys are all black and ugly in a way. But we need to celebrate that ugliness!" - Quiet Kane
"My sister attacked me with a stapler." - Katie
"DRNA - 1.5 strands!" - Jen R.
"Those poor chickens. We should have a moment of silence for them." - Schall, r.e. the loss of Soviet chicken population
"HUNK OF MEAT!" - Jen R. and Sarah P.
"People are made of food. This is why cannibalism is possible." - Sarah P.
"An enzyme, which we called pacman-ase..." - Kim T. and Alexis H.
"What, should we kick you in the head again?" - Quiet Kane
"Kill a goat. Give the evil spirits your lunch money." - Quiet Kane
"Food preparation is a prerequisite for love?" - Quiet Kane
"If Jesus whipped out a frog... would that be a miracle?" - Quiet Kane
"Sex sex sex, kids kids kids, stuff stuff stuff." - Quiet Kane
"It's a god buffet!" - Quiet Kane
"Woohoo! Basic math!" - Knox
"Bless you. May your soul not fly out of your nose." - Greg B.
"Poo harvest." - Schall
"*reading aloud* 'Mr. Z. is a hermaphrodite.' You spelled hermaphrodite wrong." - Schoonmaker
"*reading aloud from the board* 'Stalin <3s Schall.' Aww, well, Ms. Schall hearts Stalin." - Schall
"Fascism equals capitalism." - Sebastian D-VG
"What happens in Cyprus stays in Cyprus." - Alex K.
"Cologne rhymes with alone." - Allison S.
Z: "Were there any times you wanted to burst out laughing?"
S: "No, I wanted to cry more."
-John Z. and Schall, r.e. an IB Topics meeting of all VA
"...Cuando yo... fui al ba�o?" / "...When I... went to the bathroom?"
"... Muy bien. Tiene un futuro." / "... Very good. You have a future."
-Kevin H. and Sr. Conroy
"20 new Wolverines!" - Jen R. and Sarah P.
"Grow your own Wolverine! Instant hotness - just add water!" - Jen R. and Sarah P.
"If a tree falls in a vacuum and nobody's around to hear it, does it still make a sound?" - Quiet Kane
"K = JTB (knowledge equals justified true belief)
Therefore, B = K / JT (belief equals knowledge divided by justified truth...?)" - Quiet Kane
"Is there a return policy on in-vitro fertilization?" - Adam F.
"Mao brought them on a STRATEGIC retreat... *path twists and turns throughout half of China*" - Chinese Revolution movie in Topics
"Casar... cathar... cazar... cathathar?" / "To wed.... to hunt... eh...?" - Sr. Conroy and Dan M.
"There's some yummy horse hooves!" - Greg B.
"This is dumb. Mleh, mleh. This is mute. *silence*" - Kevin H.
"When there's something strange in the Islets of Langerhans,
Who you gonna call?
GLUCAGON!
... And Beta Boy, the Insulin Wonder!" - Jen R. and Sarah P.
"No Japanese in Japan!" - Schall
"Yay, communism candy! Tastes like death!" - John Z.
"Leprechaun pee is death!" - Schoonmaker
"Ebola cola! You drink it, it eats you!" - Allison S.
"Professor Helicase... don't let HIM unzip your genes...." - Sarah P.
"Smog. ... como... smog." - Sr. Conroy
"Iago. Backseat driver from Hell." - Sarah P.
"You can't spell fascist oppression without FCPS." - Facebook
"How come you're not married yet?"
"How come you're still fat?" - Knox
"I had Jesus in my clutches and I let him go..." - Alex K., r.e. misinterpretation of Elizabeth Bishop's "The Fish"
K: "Yeah, Tennessee Williams was gay - "
P: "But he had a moustache!"
K: "....."
-Krikstan and Phillippe F.
"Unicorn mating fight!" - Jer, Sarah P., Alex K.
"Testing. This sign is written in the blood of those who disturbed." - English Oral sign
"Oh, hello, cardiac sphincter, secret passage to my heart!" - Alex H. and Kim T.
"Newy Dirk!" - Jen R.
"Menopausal bus..." - Jen R.
"GET SOME PANTS ON!" - Nora M.
"Lenin gets closed down one month a year for cleaning." - Schall
"The adventures of the circulatory system and the magic ping pong ball!" - Jen R. and the Bio Movie from 80's Hell
O: "So, animals have urea, fish have ammonia, and plants have uric acid."
J: " ... Plants don't pee!"
-Omar and Jen R.
"Why don't we just overthrow the government?" - Schall
"Well, that and genocide." - Sebastian D-VG
J: "You commonly draw graphs on your love notes?"
E: "Yes, it's the statistics of how I feel."
-Erin M. and Jen R.
"The bulbourethal gland and appendix work together in the secret mission to make the fairies dance." - Jen R.
"Go go gadget is totally better than a period!" - Jen R., r.e. replacing a uterus with machinery
"I survived the vagina, and all I got was this crummy kid." - Jen R., Andrea D.
"I'm best friends with me!" - Schoonmaker
"If people never give a flying f***, can you buy one?" - Alex K.
"I understand your point. I don't care, though." - Ben Y.
"Curlystache - handlebar moustache." - Jen R.
S: "Hey, homeslice!"
G: "I am a slice of nobody's home!"
-Schoonmaker and Greg B.
"The commies in the Ozarks!" - Krikstan and Vanessa
"What, is it a cockroach? Welcome to Marshall High School." - Schoonmaker
"It's almost like hate is the new love." - Gabe G.
"Do you think God is an Atheist?" - Gabe G.
"If it's not gonna kill you, eat it." - Greg B.
"They just pulled a Peng Duxui on us!" - Topics debate
"Why do we need Dan Daus running around as a miniature Old Testament God?" - Quiet Kane
"If you replace God with string theory..." - Quiet Kane
J: "I love how you can tell members of our generation by our ability to listen to separate music sources and still engage in social activities."
E: "See, though, it's a compromise. Your music sucks, and mine is better."
-Jen R. and Erin M.
"Castro totally kicks Khrushchev in the Scale of Communist Dictator Badassness." - Schall / class
"Yo como un sandwich de vaca." / "I eat a sandwich of cow." - Amir
S: "We should blow away all our greenhouse gases with fans?"
A: "Give 'em to Canada."
-Schoonmaker and Andrea D.
A: "I think you put too many T's in function."
J: "No, that's a false T."
-Andrea D. and Justin
"SARS isn't washable!" - Erica B.
"Ueplp! Es mi palabra favorita!" - Meg H. and Jen R.
T: "Where's my spoon, Jen?"
J: "It's in your pants."
T: "Oh, so it is!"
-Tekla T. and Jen R.
"Thank you, Jen, for putting a spoon down my pants." - Tekla T.
'06 In Quotes!
"El Salvadorans have conquered America!"
-Senora DeLlanas y Patrick C.
"Oh! Ho! Oho! Hoho!"
-Andrea D.
"WATERCULES!"
-Andrea D. and Jen R.
"Just because you can put your hand in it doesn't mean it's good."
-Mrs. Camire
"It was warm and gooshy."
-Mrs. Camire
"I.B., thefore I B.S."
-Andrea D.
"When do guppies turn into frogs?"
-Andrea D.
"Lily! You're going to be a crack whore!"
"A crack whore?! I'm going to be a paper-sniffing whore!"
"It's the gateway drug..."
-Lily B. and Jen R.
"But your brain..."
-Jen R.
Jen: Ooh, mystery flavor... Oh, ew, bubble gum.
Lily: *lick* It tastes like bacon!
Jen: ...............
Lily: It does!
Jen: No, it really doesn't.
Lily: It tastes like bacon.
LATER
Lily: *eats Laffy Taffy* ... It tastes like sausage.
Jen: What is with you?! It's all breakfast meat to you!
-Lily B. and Jen R.
"What're you, amish?!"
-Mrs. Camire
"'It's deep.' That's my favorite response to a poem."
-Mr. Bello
"Johnny was the chemist's son, but Johnny is no more.
What Johnny thought was H2O was H2SO4."
-Chemistry Rhyme
"So, basically, because God tried to go into the eternal death machine, it blew up?"
-Alex K.
"Some gas diffuses - oh hey! I have spots!"
-Mrs. Camire with the projector
"Kind of like black and white cookies; they're white frosting on one side, chocolate on the other. You can pick which side you want, or you can bite right down the middle. ... So they both have their blacks and whites, just in different terms. Pedro is both at the same time, the black and white cookie. Gregor is one or the other, so maybe a black cookie at first, and then is white suddenly. Someone ate his chocolate frosting and made him white, thinking no one would notice."
-Megan S. in her IBWL1 freewrite
"I think I dreamed something about gophers after Neruda. Bean-bag gophers in a game. Thought it had a deeper meaning than Neruda."
-Alice W. in her IBWL1 freewrite
"Philip, you are absent excused. You could leave right now and nobody could do anything about it. Why are you still here?"
-Mrs. Knox
"We mated horses and donkeys and made mules, or honkeys."
-Mrs. Camire
"We need a class dose of Ritalin, STAT!"
-Mrs. Camire
"I hear the sound of a pencil being murdered."
"It's not being murdered, it's just getting a haircut."
-Jen R. and Erin M.
"You do realize that once someone has been bitch-slapped, it is perfectly acceptable for them to pimp-slap somebody else."
-Alex K.
"The first draft of anything is shit."
-Ernest Hemingway
"The heron is dead. The hospital is dead. The man is dead. The woman with the food is dead. The drugs are dead. The rose is dead. Diogenes is - gasp - dead. But I think you already gathered that."
-Alice W. and Jen R.
"It's not our fault! We're farmers!"
"It's not our fault! We're business people!"
"Well, see how much business you do without food!"
-Laura R. and Dan
"It's a teen ritual. It's called 'security in numbers.'"
-Erin M.
"In the first stanza, we have a storm portrayed in the third blue."
-Mrs. Knox
"Ohayo!"
"Florida!"
-Lauren B. and Mrs. Knox
"The heron is drugged up and wanted to die so that people would have to pay for its funeral and get rid of money, which is the root of all evil and doesn't bring happiness."
-Alice W. and Jen R.
"You are constant as the northern star. ... YOU DON'T MOVE!"
-Jen R.
Jen: Virtua-poke.
Erin: Virtua-smudge-glasses.
Jen: Virtua-clean-glasses.
Erin: Virtua-stick-carrot-up-your-nose.
Jen: .... Virtua-WHAT? Virtua-brains-you-in-the-head-with-the-carrot!
-Jen R. and Erin M.
"So this is my U sub 'last.'"
-Mrs. Foulis
Mary had a little lamb,
Who on the ice would frisk.
It was a very silly lamb,
It's little *.
-Folk poem (read it aloud to get it)
"Congratulations! You've bankrupted the entire country."
-Lily B., r.e. Patrick C. in the stock market game
"o_o ... Dawn lemony fresh smells exactly like egg nog."
-Jen R.
"Platypi. They just don't belong."
-Mrs. Camire
"So a plant could have been a bunny in a previous life?"
"Yes. Bunnies are cannibals."
-Sarit C. and Mrs. Camire
"That's like saying you've been attacked by some blueberries!"
-Mrs. Camire
"What's he doing?"
"He's just standing in the Shut The Fuck Up corner."
-Wendy B. and Mrs. Camire, r.e. Sir Charles A.
"People-sicle."
-Mrs. Camire, r.e. corpses in igloos
"It's teacher appreciation week. Appreciate me, damnit!"
-Mrs. Camire
"I can't think the way you do."
"...I'm not thinking."
-Jen R. and Lauren R.
"If you really think about it, a baby is a parasite. It just saps nutrients from the mother and doesn't give anything back."
-Mrs. Camire
"How about we just kill everyone in the government and start over?"
"I'm all for it."
-Jen R. and Mrs. Camire
"Hey, look! This water's made in PA!"
"Oh, really? They have a factory where they stick the H's together with the O's?"
-Jose and Jen R.
"So a niche walks up to a bar and says, 'So I heard that a chicken looks like an elephant...'"
-Wendy B. and Jen R.
"You can't mesmerize me! I'm British!"
-Allison S.
"He got a tattoo!"
"...I'm not going there."
"It's - it's of you!"
"... I'm really not going there."
-Sebastian D.V-G. and Mr. Robinson r.e. Patrick C.
"I'm not feeding you for a week!"
"Damnit! I like those krispy koodles!"
-Allison S. and Cassandra
"The individual, the great artist when he comes, uses everything that has been discovered or known about his art up to that point, being able to accept or reject in a time so short it seems the knowledge was born with him, rather than that he takes instantly what it takes the ordinary man a lifetime to know, and then the great artist goes beyond what has been done or known and makes something of his own."
-Ernest Hemingway
The following is a description of a dream that Alex K. had while under the influence of a slight overdose of Nyquil required for a particularly nasty cold... Beware.
"So I was with the Weasleys in the desert in a trailer and Ron kept getting in trouble because he was trying to explode oranges to make smoothies. Mrs. Weasley said he'd have his eye out if he kept going like that. Fred and George were trying to make OJ that explodes when you drink it. Mrs. Weasley got us all into the giant black hummer because they have so many kids. We got to the giant subterranean parking garage. It was essentially a parking garage, only it was all ramp, and there was water flowing down so it was a parking garage / water slide. We were riding down the thing and we got to a security gate and there were, like, 8 guards flapping against the car. You know, like in a car wash with the swirly thing that slaps against the car. So we were through security and we ended at a military-looking glass door and all the people stopped and stood there. We picked up a few more kids - there were the kids with the petticoats, and the old people with, like, big church hair, y'know? And the National Geographic lady in the red cloak with blue eyes. And she had her little boy with her. So then we all just sort of lay down on each other in a big orgy and watched the giant TV screen on the glass door to see Bill Gates telling us about the amusement park. And then the glass door opened and we went out into a desert. It wasn't just sand, it was a more rocky desert. I remember there was one of them cow head skeleton things - that's how I knew it was a desert. So we were in the desert and the big group didn't know what to do. Some of them started walking off. I think I should have stayed with Fred and George, but they had sort of transformed into one person. So I followed the one person. The rest of the dream was just the one person swearing and doing a poetry slam to himself."
-Alex K.
The following is a compilation of words created jointly between Rosie H. and Jen R. over the course of the year. THE DICTIONARY:
Chrismamurderer - KRIS-muh-mer-duh-rur n. One who murders the spirit of Christmas.
Drivlying - Drih-vih-LIE-ing v. Driving a flying vehicle.
Nosebuds - NOSE-bu-ds n. Tastebuds, only for the nose. Acceptors of scent.
Huazzah - HWA-zuh int. An expression of jubilation.
Twidge - Twih-gih n. A small amount, judged between a twinge and a smidge.
Machineybobblers - Muh-SHEEN-ee-bohb-lurs n. Mechanized units that have the ability to complete a task and emit sound.
Returnified - Reh-TURN-ih-fy-d adj. The state of being after returning to one's original location.
Afterne'ening - Aft-ur-NEE-ning n. The time between afternoon and evening.
Prode - PRO-de v. A combination of "to prod" and "to probe." To investigate or explore.
Huger - HYOU-ger adj. Bigger than huge, but smaller than hugest.
Grap - Gruh-ap n. A type of fruit. Small, bulbous, and occasionally containing seeds.
Leaveve - LEE-veev n. A type of black tea made from the leaves of the poison ivy plant.
Ciggle - SIG-gull n. A giggle-like cackle.
Godbrother - GOD-bruh-thur n. The male child of one's godparents. See Godfamily.
'05 In Quotes!
Mrs. Dammer: "And so the graph for number 13 looks like this."
Jen R: "Wait, Debbie... we got this! *shows paper*"
Debbie B: "Hold on, I'll fix it. *raises hand*"
"I'll be honest. I'll read through and if I'm like, 'I really don't wanna read this', then I'll go on to the next stack until that gets boring."
-Mr. Eitelgeorge
"Don't poke people in the face with sharp objects in here. It's an outdoor sport."
-Mr. Eitelgeorge
"Imagine a cute little puppy with soft ears and brown eyes. Now, imagine a lawn mower..."
-Mr. Eitelgeorge
"HEY! Group! You're annoying me, and that's not good for your grade! Shut up!"
-Mrs. DeMember
"Dearly beloved, we gather here today to shackle these people to eternity!" 'dysphemism'
-Mr. Eitelgeorge
"There's this coffee shop that I used to go to. There are exactly 17 tables, and every time I go there, there's 17 individuals in there hiding from the world. And they, like, peek out of their laptops at me. I just wanna go 'How many of you have ever kissed a girl? Nobody?! BIG SURPRISE!'"
-Mr. Eitelgeorge
"These construction workers- what do they think they accomplish with whistles and yells? 'Oh, that man on the 14th floor that yelled at me in a really demeaning way! I must have him!'"
-Mr. Eitelgeorge
"Constructive criticism! Constructive! Not destructive!"
-Erin M
"I actually had to stop grading these at one point because I was weeping."
-Mr. Eitelgeorge
"I can't see the play. If they performed it outside of my house, in the cold and snow, I'd watch. I wouldn't let them in, but I'd watch."
-Mr. Eitelgeorge
"A dynamic character is like ...a superball! ...Wait, why is it like a superball?"
-Mr. Eitelgeorge
"You start to empty plutonium in the nearest creek. A few days later, you start seeing that family of cute little ducklings glowing green... I think that's how most scientists get their start."
-Mr. Eitelgeorge
Mr. Eitelgeorge: "If only I had..."
Rachel B: "a brain?"
"My running socks smell like cinnamon ... the world doesn't make sense anymore!"
-Mr. Eitelgeorge
"A funny thing happened last night... I forgot to take the tea out of my pockets when I did the laundry..."
-Mr. Eitelgeorge
"A cat in a vacuum bag! The Christmas gift that keeps on giving!"
-Mr. Eitelgeorge
"It's not just for fun ... it's to preserve them!"
-Mr. Eitelgeorge
"The heteroclite boy ran backwards through the cornfield with the purple cow looming in the distance."
-Mr. Eitelgeorge
"Look! If you put dots on the asymptotes, they look like angry saint bernards!"
-Lily B
"Happy score!"
-Lily B
"We can kill two birds with one stone ... I don't know what's with the dead bird motif... I guess that we could kill two birds with ten stones, as long as the bird's dead."
-Mr. Eitelgeorge
"If I grade ten essays and I see one that's sucky, you get a sucky grade. Normally I'm nice, and I'll probably give you a C and let you think that you're ok."
-Mrs. DeMember
"I'll go home and drink some laundry detergent and wash my clothes in vinegar and get back to you."
-Mr. Eitelgeorge
"If it quacks like it's formulaic, people might think it's a duck."
-Mr. Eitelgeorge
"Yankee fans like beer."
-Sports Illustrated
"You're crazy. Let it go. ... You're crazy. Let it go."
-Ben Y
Jen R: "Andrea has the mentality of a 6th grader."
Andrea D: "Sixth graders wouldn't know the definition of flaccid!"
"I'm not interested in your point of view. Just be quiet."
-Mrs. DeMember
John Z: *blah blah blah*
Mrs. DeMember: "Okay, I am so not listening to you. What?"
"I got to bed with a tape recorder of babies crying because it comforts me."
-Mr. Eitelgeorge
Lily B: "The way that I remember you is the cat in a vacuum bag."
Mr. Eitelgeorge: "Most people do about the floor-length jacket of beagle puppy ears."
Ben Y: "Wow... you must make a lot of friends."
"Speak, woman!"
-Justin M.
"'You think your boyfriend's tight? I had a date with Scrooge himself last night!' ... I probably should have said that in a woman's voice... stupid University of Kentucky."
-Mr. Eitelgeorge
Justin M: "I could just not talk anymore."
Mr. Eitelgeorge: "You could, and I'd appreciate it."
"Here's a pencil and paper. Compete as the greatest hero would in a race! ... that was a stupid one, but it's not my fault. It's from the University of Kentucky."
-Mr. Eitelgeorge
"Here's how you get the mouse out of the toaster..."
-Mr. Eitelgeorge
"PASH!"
-Jen R, Nora M, Erin M
"What if you're in a car and going at the speed of light... what if you turn your headlights on?"
-Mr. Eitelgeorge
"I have a nephew... Once I made him cry. He said that he was going for Halloween as a Power Ranger, and I asked if he was going as the pink one."
-Mr. Eitelgeorge
Jen R: "Lily..."
Lily B: "SHUT UP, I'M BLACK!"
Mrs. DeMember: "That's not a missile that you want shot at you."
"What kind of missile do you want shot at you?"
"Do you use ...raspberry bush... when you bathe... o_0;"
-Jen R
"I got all excited about genocide."
-Mr. Eitelgeorge
"KUPO!"
-Jenny B, Patrick B, Jeremy, Erica B, Jen R
Mrs. Dammer: "...What I was looking for was that it's impossible."
Jen R, Debbie B, and Lily B: "But we did it!"
(y= |x^3| + 1)
"Are you buying cocaine? Yaaay! You're feeding my family!"
-Mr. Eitelgeorge
"Mrs. Peacock, in the billiard room, with the car battery."
-Jen R
"Once you kill it, it dies. You can quote me on this."
-Mr. Eitelgeorge
"This latte reminds me of my pain."
-Mr. Eitelgeorge
"'What is your name?'
'I don't know.'
'What is your quest?'
'To figure out how to use my hand as a yo-yo.'
'...You may pass.'"
-Kathleen
Mr. Eitelgeorge: "On el calle de rubio..."
Jen R: "Street of blonde? o_0;"
"If you use the powers of your imagination, you can imagine that the whole poem's not there. But that'll be your homework."
-Mr. Eitelgeorge