Cuz you’re everywhere to me

Pokemon! Oh, you’re my best friend

I’m Popey the sailor Man!

Shadow: Forget the darn theme song! How are we supposed to do the show without Lita.

Emily: *drops Lita on stage and into her chair* Maybe that will teach you to try to break into our guest’s hotel room!

Lita: But, but, but!

Emily: Don’t you throw your buts at me missy!

Shadow: Where were you?

Lita: Oh, you don’t need to worry now Shadow. I know it would’ve broken you’re heart to be forced to do the show without me, but-

Shadow: WHAT???!!! ME?! GET HEARTBROKEN ABOUT YOU???!!!! THAT’S THE LAST THING THAT’S GONNA HAPPEN! IN FACT, THE SHOW WAS EVEN BETTER WHEN YOU WEREN’T HERE!

Lita: FINE!

Shadow: FINE!

Lita: FINE!

Shadow: FINE!

Emily: Alright, alright! You’re both fine! Now, get on with the show!!!

Shadow: Hmph!

Ellen: Umm...ok....Hit it Jasom!

Jasom: Todays guest is from Anne McCaffery’s book series, The Dragonriders of Pern, rides the only white dragon, and is lord of Ruatha, everyone, please give a warm, Pernies hand to Jaxom!

*A bound and gagged Jaxom is dragged on stage, looking extremley nervous, and his eyes go wide with fear when he see’s Lita.*

Shadow: Somethings not right here....

Ellen: How’s he gonna talk if he’s gagged.

Shadow: Jasom, ungag him.

Lita: I’LL DO IT!

Emily and Jasom: YOU SIT DOWN!

*Lita sits down, pouting*

Ellen: Does Lita seem a little different to you today?

Shadow: You mean even more pyscotic?

Lita: WHY DON’T YOU SHUT UP SHADOW!

Shadow: WHY DON’T YOU MAKE ME LITA!

Ellen: Come on guys! Don’t fight!

Shadow: Your right Ellen. Lita’s acting childish, picking fights.

Lita: WHAT?!

Ellen:*whimpers* Ugh! Alright! Let’s just get on to THE MAIL BAG OF DOOM! MUAHAUAHUAHAHAH!

Everyone: O.O

Ellen:^_^

*Jasom ungags Jaxom, sitting him on the chair*

Jaxom: Where am I? Who are you? What’s going on? Why can’t I hear Ruth?

llen: I’m Ellen, that’s Shadow, and I guess you already met Lita. You’re on the planet Icky-Nicky-Wa-Icky-Wa-

Shadow: Which isn’t even a planet!

Lita: Next thing you know she’ll be saying Pern isn’t a planet either!

Shadow: Well technically it’s not!

Lita: Well who asked you?!

Ellen: Guys! Come on! Let’s get back to the mailbag here!!!!

Lita: You’re right Ellen. Why don’t you read the first letter.

Ellen:*reaches in and pulls out the first letter* Hey! This one is from you Lita! It says “Jaxom, did you know that you and I fall in love in Shadow13's fic The Rise of a Shadow, which cannot be posted on fanfiction.net, because Anne McCaffery didn’t want fanfiction?

Jaxom: Uuuuhhh.....*inches away from Lita* Well, Lita told me that already....

Ellen: Oh....Okay. Next one. You go ahead Shadow.

Shadow: Thanks Ellen. *pulls out letter* Err...

Emily: What’s the matter?

Shadow: This one is also from Lita.....

Emily: uuh....Well, go ahead and open it.

Shadow: “Jaxom, will you marry me?”

Jaxom: I’m already married to Sharra.

Lita: That can be changed! *pulls out a machine gun*

Shadow:*whispers to Ellen* I think Lita’s fallen off the Dragon Wagon.

Ellen: What?

Shadow: She’s nuts. Cooky. Legally insane, or illegally sane. She’s a few drops short of a full beaker, a few boards short of a full dog house, a few scales short of a dragon. She’s gone to Nevernever Land.

Ellen: Ohh.....So she’s crazy.

Shadow: That’s what I said.

Ellen: So what are we going to do?

Shadow: Ok, Lita’s armed, and possibly dangerous. A situation like this must be handled delicately and with great care and sensitivity.....GET HER!

*Ellen and Shadow tackle Lita. The camera is thrown out of focus and Jaxom and Jasom are looking nervous.*

Jasom: Umm...Ladies and gentleman, do to technical difficulties, this program will take a short commercial break and be back in a few minutes.

Sugar Crunchies are not part of this balanced diet. See your doctor before getting Sugar Crunchies. Sugar Crunchies should not be eaten if your on any medicine of any kind. Some possible side effects are a runny nose, dry, itchy eyes, itchy skin, cramps, diarrhea, or vomiting, blocked intestinal track, the lining of your esophagus being eaten away, flu, cancer, Parkinson’s, west Nile virus, glaucoma, or death. See store for details. Results may vary.

Jasom: And we’re back with The The-Pointless-Interview-Show Show. Today’s guest star is Lord Jaxom of Ruatha!

Ellen: I WANT SUGAR CRUNCHIES! NEED SUGAR CRUNCHIES!

Shadow: This explains so much.....Let’s just get on with it. *digs into mailbag* Our next letter comes from.....Lita. Again?! Ugh. “Jaxom will you marry” *starts flipping through the letters with Ellen, looking for one that doesn’t say marry me* marry me....marry me...marry me...marry me....

Ellen: Oh! Oh! I got one!

Shadow: What’s it say?

Ellen: Jaxom, will you elope with me.

Shadow: Ugh!

Jasom: Um...While those two try and find a letter that’s not from Lita., we’re going to go to a commercial break.

Ellen: I’ve got it! I’ve...finally....found one that’s not...from....Lita!

Shadow: Well hand it over!

*Ellen hands it to Shadow*

Shadow: This letter comes from our dear friend, reviewer, and editor, Charlene and her five alter ego’s.

Ellen:*sigh* I miss them so...

Shadow: Hey! Cheer up! Maybe we can have them as a guest star someday. Anywho, back to the letter. This letter reads “Dear Jaxom. Are you sure Ruth is a boy?

Jaxom:*breaks his bonds in pure fury* WHAT?!

Ellen: Uh-oh.....

Jaxom: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!

Shadow: Um...err...Jasom! Come in here Jasom!

Jasom: Not on your life!

Jaxom: ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT ME DRAGON ISN’T MALE?!!!

Ellen: Security!

Jaxom:*tackles Ellen and Shadow and they scuffle on set. The camera get’s knocked over onto it’s side, so Jasom has to bend down side ways for it to see him*

Jasom: Um...er....Today’s show was brought to you by Sugar Crunchies. The stuff the government has been filling atomic bombs with for over forty years now. Shadow13 does not, has not, nor ever will own any of the characters listed with the exception of Lita-

Lita:*is trying to wiggle out of her ropes*

Jasom: Shadow-

Shadow:*is punching Jaxom in the stomach*

Jasom: Ellen-

Ellen: *is getting her hair pulled by Jaxom*

Jasom: Myself. Jasom, and Emily. But technically she is Emily! And she can’t own herself or everlasting soul because she belongs to God, so she can’t sell, give, or trade her soul to the devil, or any party asso- hey! *get’s dragged into the fight* Hey! Send your questions to [email protected]. Weird huh? Ow! No! Not there! That’s tender! Or you can send it to wolftrotter56 at neopets or Cardinal_Flame and powerpets, or even ~*Emily*~ at horseland.com. Ow! Hey! I bruise like a banana! That’s our show for today! Ow! Join us next week! Hey! Ow! When we interview! Ow! Batman! Ow!

Shadow: Seriously? Ow! We are?! Hey! Ow!

Jasom: Until next time, I’m in pain!

Ellen: I’m getting punched by the lord of Ruatha.

Lita: Mfmmfmmummff!

Shadow: Ow! And Jaxom’s going down! *tackles him*

All: See Ya!