Emily: *cackles insanely* Let the torture begin!

Jasom: Okay, we sent Shadow and Erik to see a play, Lita and Chauvelin to a fancy restaurant, and Ellen and Marius to a theme park. Let’s see how it turned out!

*scene cuts to Erik and Shadow, sitting in through a performance of Romeo and Juliet. Shadow is watching with mild interest and Erik is squirming in his seat, which is making Shadow’s arm move because they’re tied together by Johnson’s Stringettes*

Shadow: <.<….. Are you okay?

Erik: They’re doing it all wrong!

Shadow: o.O They seem fine to me.

Erik: No, they could be doing a much better job!

Shadow: Look, I think you’re taking this a bit too seriously. Just calm down, relax, and don’t think about it.

Erik: But they-

Shadow: *makes a cutting motion* Silence!

Erik: *pouts*

*back at the studio*

Jasom: Hm, not too bad. But let’s see how Lita and Citizen Chauvelin are doing.

*scene cuts to restaurant. Lita and Chauvelin enter and are directed to a booth. They are about to sit opposite each other, but when they do, they’re arms are strung across the table. Grumbling, Lita comes over and sits next to him on the booth*

Lita: Scoot over more, I don’t have enough room!

Chauvelin: Well I’m right against the wall!

*waitress brings menus*

Lita: Well, this is fantastic. How do we hold the menu?

Chauvelin: Okay, I’ve got a plan.

Lita: I hate to be callous, but your plan’s never work.

Chauvelin: That’s only because they’re up against the Scarlet Pimpernel, and ninety nine percent of the time I almost catch him!

Lita: Huffy!

Chauvelin: Insensitive!

Lita: *is touched* Aw…. Admit it, Chauvelin, you’re just a big softy.

*pokes him*

Chauvelin: Don’t touch me!

*back at the studio*

Jasom: Erm, not so good, but it could be worse. How about Ellen and Marius?

*Marius and Ellen are walking around a theme park. Ellen spots one of those “Toss a baseball at some milk tins,” games*

Ellen: *pointing* Look, Marius! Those things are fun!

Marius: But how are you going to throw? Your right hand is tied?

Ellen: Good point. Oh! Looky! Stuffed Cow! Must… own!

Marius: *puts some money on the counter* Here, I’ll try and win it for you mademoiselle.

Ellen: Aw…. That’s so nice of you, Marius!

Marius: Think nothing of it. The happier you are, the sooner this date ends. The sooner this date ends, the sooner I can go back to stalking Cosette.

Ellen: o.O Right……..

*back at the studio*

Jasom: Creepy, yet so far successful!

*Shadow and Erik.*

Shadow: *gets up, which pulls Erik’s arm up*

Erik: Where are you going?

Shadow: The bathroom.

Erik: Uh….problem.

Shadow: *looks down at arm* Merde.

Erik: Ah, the lady speaks French! Of course, that wasn’t exactly polite…..

Shadow: Ignore polite, how am I going to go to the bathroom?

Erik: *standing up* Well, I guess you’ll have to go to the men’s room.

Shadow: Two words: No. Way.

Erik: Well, I can’t go to the women’s!

Shadow: I think if you can stalk a girl, walk through her mirror, and drag her back to an underground lake, you shouldn’t have too many problems with going in a girl’s bathroom.

Erik: Look, that is an extremely different case!

Shadow: *holds up a threatening fist at camera* Jasom, cut these ropes now, or I swear, I’ll…..

Jasom: You’ll what, swear in French at me? Your right hand’s tied! You can’t punch me!

Shadow: *raises left fist* Yeah, watch this! *punches and camera goes fuzzy*

*back at the studio*

Jasom: *sporting a black eye* Note to self: Never provoke angry super heroes again……

Emily: *tosses him a pack of ice* Now, back to Lita and Chauvelin.

*back at restaurant. She and Chauvelin are holding one menu between them, having some difficulty in turning the pages*

Lita: *points out drink* I think I’ll order that one.

Chauvelin: No.

Lita: No? What do you mean no?!

Chauvelin: You’re underage. Besides, I’m paying.

Lita: No, the network has given you the money you need to pay.

Chauvelin: And whatever we don’t spend I’m keeping.

Lita: You cheap skate! Just wait till I sick my dragon on you!

Chauvelin: Fine! What drink do you want?

Lita: Margarita.

Chauvelin: *twitches* No….

Lita: What now?

Chauvelin: Just no.

Lita: Seriously, I want a coherent answer! Lita: o.O?...... Right, someone has letting go issues….

Chauvelin:*glare*

Lita:*glare*

*studio*

Jasom: Right, Chauvelin needs counseling. But how are Marius and Ellen?

*theme park. Marius has been loosing. Badly. We see several base balls strewn across the game*

Ellen: o.O?..... Uh, Marius? How much have you spent on this game?

Marius: I don’t know…. Maybe seventy five bucks?

Ellen: O.O And how much do you have?

Marius: The network gave me three hundred.

Ellen: O.O Marius, I really think you need to stop now.

Marius: You’re right. The cow’s not worth it.

Ellen: No, the cow’s worth the whole three hundred, but you’re a terrible shot.

Marius: Hey!

*studio*

Jasom: So Marius needs to stop stalking so many women and building so many barricades and learn to toss. But other than that, I’d say that’s the most successful one so far.

*Shadow and Erik. Erik’s fidgeting again*

Shadow: Erik, I really think you need to calm down. They’re very good actors.

Erik: *twitches*

Shadow: Erik?

Erik: *twitches more*

Shadow: Shadow to Phantom. Come in Phantom.

Erik: *stands up, which yanks Shadow up with him, shouting* No! More passion! Be louder, stronger! Come on man, this is the woman you love! Ignore the fact she’s going to run off with a Viscomte!

Shadow: *grabs his hand and yanks him out of the theater* First off, you’re the one who looses out to Raoul, Romeo looses out to death. Second, leaving. Now!

*studio*

Jasom: O.O Well, that was…..different……

*Lita and Chauvelin. Lita is hopelessly drunk*

Lita: *slurred* You know, I had a lot of fun tonight!

Chauvelin: *looking rather annoyed, with his head on his hand* I’m over joyed, really.

Lita: *drinks more* The more I have of these, the cuter you look.

Chauvelin: <.< Ouch……

Lita: *giggles* You know, you’re a really good listener! Not many people listen to my whole life story.

Chauvelin: Believe me, I wasn’t listening. It all translated to this uninteresting blur that I never even paid attention to. Lita: Aw, come on! Please?

Chauvelin: No.

Lita: Please?

Chauvelin: No, and I must ask you to stop talking.

Lita: *kisses him* You’re so cute! *slumps on his shoulder and passes out, wedging him between her and the wall*

Chauvelin: O.O Lita? Lita? Wake up now, Lita. I said now!

Jasom: *is rolling on the floor laughing*

Chauvelin: *claws at wall* A little help here! Help!

*back at studio*

Jasom: *can’t talk, he’s still laughing*

Emily: *hand on head* I’m related to these people….. Okay, let’s wrap it up with Ellen and Marius

*park*

Marius: That’s it! I’ve spent well over half of the money, and I still haven’t hit a single tin! This thing is rigged, I swear!

Ellen: *puts dollar down on counter, picks up ball, throws, and gets a direct shot. The assistant hands her the cow* Can we go now?

Marius: *slacked jawed* O.O…. but, how….. How did you?.....

Ellen: *walks off, which makes him drag with her* Let’s go.

*studio*

Jasom: Well, those were they’re romantic evenings. Now we’ll see if it will be followed by a second romantic date!

*everyone’s in a chair, writing on cards.*

Jasom: Shadow, let’s start with you. What did you have to say?

Shadow: *holds card up that says no* No, because he’s psycho.

Erik: <.< Ouch….

Jasom: Agreed. And you Erik?

Erik: No, because I love Christine.

Jasom: Well, it wasn’t meant to be. Marius and Ellen?

Ellen: No, because he’s kind a creepy >.>…..

Marius: It’s fine. I have to get married to Cosette anyways.

Jasom: o.O? Right then. Lita and Chauvelin?

Lita: *has block of ice on her head* Ow….

Chauvelin: Absolutely not.

Lita: Why’d you let me order all those drinks, you sharding idiot?

Chauvelin: You’re the one who was threatening to have me fed to your dragon.

Jasom: Lita, would you like to date Chauvelin again?

Lita: No, he’s too self centered.

Chauvelin: *shouting* EXCUSE ME, I’M WHAT, MISS GIVE ME THAT DRINK OR ELSE?!?!?

Lita: Stop shouting! I have a head ache!

Shadow: Now you’ve done it, Lita.

Ellen: *starts crying* Lita’s going to get her head chopped off!

Shadow: *excitedly* Seriously? Cool!

Lita: Shove it, Shadow!

Shadow: *sticks her tongue out*

Emily: *hands Chauvelin fifty dollars and information about aristocrats hiding in the snack room* Here. Go knock yourself out and not kill my ego.

Shadow: *disappointed* Aw….

Lita: Are we done with this yet?

Emily: *sigh* Yes, no more dating games, for, hopefully, a very long time.

Egos: Yeah!

Jasom: Well, that was…..interesting. Today’s show was brought to you by Johnson’s Stringettes, the ultimate in tiny string. Shadow13 would once again like to make it clear that she is an avid supporter of keeping in cannon with characters relationships, including the ones mentioned last time. She does not own Marius. She does not own Erik. She can dream, but she does not own Chauvelin.

Emily: *sobbing* It’s not fair!

Jasom: >.> right then….. However, she does own Shadow-

Shadow: *is reading up on guillotines*

Jasom: Lita-

Lita: *still nursing her hang over*

Jasom: Ellen-

Ellen: *is snuggling the stuffed cow*

Jasom: Myself, and Emily, but she is Emily! Stay tuned next time for when we interview Christine Daae, of the Phantom of the Opera!