December 31, 1999, 11:55pm. I am cowering under the weight bench that serves as our family room coffee table. We like to use this as our coffee table because we like to pretend that we lift lots of weights. We could keep it in our garage, but it�s usually too hot or cold out there to even pretend that you�re working out.

Anyway, there I was, cowering under it....but not because I was afraid of the Y2K bug. Rather, it was the year 2000 itself that scared me; for this, contrary to the belief I had as a child that I would never make it to the year 2000, was the year I would turn 40....

January 2000

It was white. Really white. Soft shapes lounge about; the sky is grey and heavy. Cars glide slowly over the innocently smooth ice. Ah, yes, the ice; the slippery, oblivious ice. The infamous Taurus flows slowly along it, softly sideways into the curb on the right. The alignment is knocked askew; another $1200 repair job. Of course. January, and the car. A lethal combination in our household.

February 2000

Mark got promoted to manager! Big 5 has been the only job where promotion hasn�t meant 30 extra hours a week. Come Jan. 2001, he�ll have been with them five years.

March

Wind.

April 19, 2000

The impossible has happened. 40 it is. Hmmm, doesn�t seem so bad to me......not that I thought it was bad, just unlikely to happen to me. David�s taller than me, did I mention?

June or thereabouts

I create a website that interests no one. Typical. David is working on his second site (no pun intended). Vacation in Colorado and co., which I commented upon in detail in an email. Posted at the aforementioned website archives, http://members.dencity.com/dwell/dwell.html , for those who wish to subject themselves to it again (or for the first time).

July

Dad, sister Chris and family come for a visit, yippee!

August

Thanks to Mark�s promotion and our diligence, we�ve halved our debt!! Rejoice!! The end is in sight - maybe even next year!!

I nearly got knocked over by a car the day I started writing this. I grew up in California; I�m used to cars stopping for people. Heck, out there they even stop for pedestrians on the freeways. Which is no big deal, since most of the time they�re on a CA freeway they�re stopped, anyway. But out here, pedestrian as a word does not exist. Only as a target.

September 25th

Diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Disease/Syndrome (hereafter referred to as PCOS). PCOS is basically a chronic hormonal imbalance. I knew something was wrong!! And not just from all the fatigue and ill feelings that would knock me onto the couch for days at a time. No, the real conviction came when I managed to determinedly ignore any tiredness and work out 4-5 days a week for a solid month, and eschew the ice cream and so on and only lose two lbs. right at the very end of the month (July, it was), only to have it pop back on the minute I crept back onto the couch in a PCOS stupor.

See, two of the hormones that are out of control are ones that make a person gain weight, even if they work out 43 hours a day and eat only cabbage. I�d never even heard of this blasted condition before, and now I�m stuck with it for life. But actually, I can�t help but be happy, because now I can hopefully feel normal again someday soon! And - and I decry this even though I�m feeling it - I am so happy it was not my fault. That I�ll be able to lose weight now. Sad that it�s so important to us here in the west. Sad.

Later Sept.

I�m on two types of medication and am a total loss as far as living is concerned, due to the side effects. I wonder, why is it that they so often make one feel bad? Why can�t just one side effect make one deliriously happy??

Sept 30th

We go for a quick weekend trip to Ft. Worth, where our car promptly gets hit in a hotel parking lot at 2:30am. So far we�ve racked up $1700+ in repairs this year. Our deductible adds $250 to this amount. We grumble but are glad it isn�t totaled and is still driveable enough to continue our weekend of visiting zoos, museums, and still get back home.

October 2000

I don�t know why I have any fall clothes. I never get to wear them anymore. In California, you wear fall clothes in the winter. Out here, it goes from a record-breaking 104� on Oct. 1st to another record-breaking high of 36� (low 28) on Oct. 7 or 8th. Where, I ask, is fall??

There are no physical barriers between us and the cold fronts that Canada is so fond of tossing about. Everything that sweeps through there comes sweeping down here, sweeping everything in its path (geese, corn husks, coffee cups). But, I have to admit (looks around furtively) that I like interesting weather changes. Give me dramatic over homogenized any day.

I�ve lost 6 lbs so far! And I�m not even trying!

Oct. continued

Less than a week after getting the car back (we only have the one) from the body shop, the transmission suddenly expires without any warning. We now wish the car was totaled in our previous bout. Of course, the weather chooses now to pour down rain all month and knock out our phone lines for three days. Looking for a car under these circumstances is most fun. The lines get fixed; the car demands anywhere from $1300 - $2500 (grand total of the year: $4450 - any takers?? Nor us.) We wash our hands of it and with heavy hearts buy a newer one, thereby exponentially increasing our previously almost-expunged debt.

I read in the paper an ad which states in shocked tones, "Some people spend EIGHT HUNDRED dollars a year in car repairs!!" I laugh a wry laugh.

Nov. 3-5, Nashville, TN

My sister has a BEEEEEG birthday bash for her 50th birthday. She�s into country music in a big way, and has her party at a pub-club-cafe thingy. The party goers are musicians and songwriters (some with hits) and some perform, solo or with a band. And she asks ME if I want to do a song or two. Of my own, no covers, mind you!! On the stage. In front of strangers. In front of writers! AAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!

I had stage fright just reading her email suggesting it. But as I�ve never had the chance to do any of my stuff before, I figured I�d better do it. And, of course, buying the hard-shell guitar case clinches the matter. Can�t back down now.

So........I did it. I was the bday girl�s sister, so they had to be nice and give me compliments. Or did they.....?? Ah, well, live and give.

Nov 12th 11:00 pm

Suddenly feeling almost normal again, and craving vegetables (that�s not the normal part). Tromp all over town looking for an jicama. Oops, is that a fruit? No matter, it comes under the crunchy, watery category that my body wants right now.

No jicama at Wal-Mart. Almost bought a turnip at Albertson�s, thinking it was an jicama (well, so, I�ve never seen a whole one! Only cut up already). Not my fault the turnips were right under the jicama sign. Didn�t want to go back and get a real one and stand in line again. I eat too many carrots instead.

Normality and veggie cravings continued the next day. I�m still a little shaky during exercise, but can ignore it.

Nov 13th 7:50am

As I unlock our frost-encrusted car door, I notice the leaves next door falling. Not a few, not yellow or red ones, but bright green leaves falling steadily in a no-wind, calm, situation. I look around. All the non-blooming mulberry trees up and down the street are doing the same thing. I hear the sound of leaves falling everywhere - like gentle rain.

9:00 am - The tree is quite bare now. Strike up another hitherto unseen phenomenon. I think I�m beginning to like Lubbock.

Dec 1 (actually, it�s Nov 30th but a Dec header looks more complete)

I realized, as I was plotting this, that no one writes about Christmas in their Christmas newsletters, due to the fact that they�re sent out (or are intended to be) before Christmas. So I thought I would this year:

Dec. 1999

Dee, Harvey and Tammy spent Christmas with us. At one point during the dinner on Christmas Eve, we were all eating silently except Mark, who was crunching comfortably. Tammy looked around the table a minute, then asked, "All right, what on this table crunches??"
Mark pointed silently to my forgotten-and-left-in-the-oven-too-long extra stuffing, and I couldn�t help laughing. Tammy was more embarrassed than I was.

* * *

We lost two pets and gained three. Megan spelled her first word all by herself (�pizza�, wouldn�t you know). She is now 4, the age, apparently, of incessant questioning:

Megan: Can I have a drink, please?
Mom: gets her a drink
Megan: Why�d you get me a drink?
Mom: Because you asked for one!
Megan: Why�d I ask for one?
Mom: (never dumbing down for her kids) Presumably you were thirsty.
Megan: Why was I thirsty?
Mom: Aaarrrggghhh!!

(A pause while Meg drinks.)

Megan: Why does the water have no any color?
Mom: Aaaarrrggghhh!

I dunno. I wanted to end on a serious note, but I�m out of room. I wanted to talk more about the kids (now 16, 11 & 4). I wanted to say that the Chinese should have �Year of the Car� included for us, or maybe �Year of Stress�, but everyone has those. I dunno....I�ve always rather thought that my life isn�t particularly stressful compared to what some people do to themselves, but this year certainly was. Being ill made everything hard to cope with (even making dinner, which is always a trauma for me, anyway). And the hardest thing was plunging back into debt again after being so close, and seeing our �back overseas� dream slip away again. One could say...well, one could say lots of things. One could also continue to wait and trust Jesus.

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