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| 101 WAYS TO ENGINEER A MEETING WITH NICKI Lets face it, meeting Nicki is something of a daydream - well it is for me anyway! The big question here is how to engineer that meeting. I'm not promising results or anything but here are some ideas... |
| Apply to work at 19 management... as a toilet cleaner if you have to, or making the tea. What you do is not particularly important - as long as you're there! |
| Hang out at Health spas and nail bars cos Nicki enjoys that kind of thing. You may be in for a long wait but it'll be worth it if she turns up, and at least you can be pampered while you wait! |
| Audition for Pop Idol 2. You can't sing? Doesn't matter... neither could the YMCA girl. |
| Go to the Spearmint Rhino. Pretend to be a lap dancer. Dance for Simon Cowell. You're male? Who cares! Dance closer. Dance so close you can get his personal organiser out of his pocket without him realising. Find Nicki's address in it. Result! Alternatively, go to the SR, kidnap Simon and steal all his clothes including his exceptionally high trousers. Lock him in your warbrobe (naked) then dress in his clothes and turn up at the Pop Idol 2 auditions pretending to be him - be obnoxious, draw numbers in the air with your finger and spend your entire time with your arm round Nicki's shoulder. |
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| Start dating Will. How you're going to manage that I don't know but if you do then you get instant access to Nicki so start trying right now! |
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| Go on Nasty Nigel's new show 'Enemy of the State'. Charm him, buy him lots of drinks and then get him to fix you up with Nicki. |
Get a job at BMG as Dave Shacks PA. Then get him to invite you home to dinner with him and the missus! |
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| I am aware that that's not 101 ways, only 8 infact but can only come up with so many genius plans in one go! More to follow! Disclaimer - I'm not suggesting for one minute that you should steal Simon's PO, get Nigel drunk, use Will, apply for jobs or kidnap Simon Cowell. Nor stalk Nicki in any other way! *giggles* You can get arrested for that you know! |