| To Be Desired Chapter 25 We were up there for what seemed forever, Paul sang what seemed millions of songs. I loved it. He was such a lovely singer, I felt like we were the only ones in the world. Finally, Paul checked his watch "Good God, It's 6:00" he said. "Wow, time flew by" I said. "Tell me about it" he added standing up. He put his arm around me and lead me down the stairs, into his room. He set his case on the bed and opened it up. "Let's hurry up and get unpacked, I'll see what we can do for dinner, I'm starving" Paul said. "I can cook, and by the way where's Martha?" I said just realizing something I hadn't before. He smiled. "That would be fabulous, if you could really, Luv, and Martha is at my Dad's house because Mike and Him watched her while I was away." He said. " I would absolutely love to, and when are you getting her back?" I laughed at our double conversation. "Thank you, Luv. Whenever you want to go to Liverpool to meet my family, then we'll get her back." He said pulling out shirts from his suitcase, he held up my red spegetti strap shirt. "And I believe this is yours" He added. "It is thanks, and we can't wait that long, she'll miss you terribly." I said taking the shirt. "No Problem, and come on, Luv, It wont be nearly that bad!" He assured me. I started taking the things from my case. "I know, I know, I just...i dunno..." I paused. "Why don't you just go up and get Martha" I suggested looking up at him. He stopped folding and looked at me. "You really want me to do that?" he said. I shook my head. "No not really" I admitted quietly. "I'm just afraid to meet them, they aren't going to like me" I said frankly. "Yes they will, they will luv, but even if they don't it doesn't matter because I do." He said sweetly. I nodded. "Ok, I love you too, You're right, I'll come. When are we going?" I said almost defeatedly. "How about day after tomorrow?" He suggested. I nodded. "OK" I said. "OK" I repeated quietly. I dumped my whole case out on the bed and started separated my clothes. I gave Paul all his clothes back and he threw mine over to my pile. I sighed. I didn't remember bringing this many clothes. I split it up between dirty clothes and clean clothes. "Hey, Luv, you can have this half of the dresser..." he started as he was cleaning out the drawers. "And half of that closet, it's huge" he said straightening up. "Are you sure?" I asked. "Yes, of course" He replied putting away some of his clothes. "Alright, thanks" I said happily. He looked at me then smiled. I took the clothes needing to be hung and found hangers, hanging them up and folded the rest putting them in the drawers. I took my smaller case and dumped it all out. I took all my hair stuff and makeup etc. And took it to the bathroom. "Is it alright if I put all this stuff in here?" I asked. "Sure thing, Luv" He said nonchalantly. I stuffed all my things in reasonable places and walked back in to find Paul looking about my beatles stuff laying on the bed. "Paul" I said warningly. "You aren't supposed to see anything from.." I started. I gasped when he picked up the "Sgt. Pepper" CD. I pulled it quickly from his grasp. "Paul!" I said indignently. "Did you not hear me?" I asked. Pulling him away from it. "I'm sorry, It's just so hard for your future to be staring right at you...and you can't even see how everything turns out." He said. I shook my head. "Who ever said thats how everything turns out?" I asked. "It's still right there" He said. "I know, but...I didn't want to do this but I guess I'll hafto get rid of all this stuff" I said looking back at my pile of prized beatle possesions. I know I know I was selfish, I had Paul and I was upset about throwing away a couple of pieces of paper about him and some plastic with songs on it. But I was sentimental that way. "No, Luv, I'll refrain I promise" he said. I nodded." Thanks" I said starting to sort through it all. He sat up at the top of his bed and leaned against the pillows. "Sarah...Tell me what happens next" He said slowly. I looked up carefully from my stuff. I knew this would come, It will go on maybe, forever, but you had to expect it. I looked down at the CD in my hand then back to Paul. He was looking at me intently. "what do I look like a phsycic?" I asked. Stacking up all my CDs. "Come on, Luv" He wheedled. "Seriously Paul, I can't tell you whats going to happen next, you, you can tell me whats gunna happen next." I said. I sat down at the edge of the bed. "So, Paul, What's gunna happen next?" I asked.He hesitated. "We, We are going to release a new album, Me and John have written a few new songs. We hafto do another movie, it's in our contract. I have no idea what about though, we haven't even thought. But, other than that, I really don't know except for one other thing...I have met the most beautiful perfect girl in the whole world and I want to spend the rest of my life with her, because I love her." He said his voice going down at the end. I bit my lips together and crawled up to next to him. I ran a hand up and played with his hair idley. "And, I, I have met the most wonderful guy in the world and I would want nuthing more than to spend the rest of my life with him because I love him." I almost whispered. "And that was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me." I whispered as I leaned toward him and kissed him soundly. My hands on his chest leaning over him. He pulled away after a while and touched my face. "And there is nothing I have ever meant more in my life" he stated. I smiled waverly and kissed him quickly. "Don't make me cry now, Paul" I smiled slipping off the bed. I went back to my pile, looked up and smiled at Paul before looking back down. I picked up my CD player "Where would you want this going?" I asked. "Um...how bout the dresser?" He suggested. I set it down on the top and plugged it in behind it. I admired it "beautiful" I said kiddingly. OK...I picked out all the CD's from Revolver backwards...down to Please Please me, all the nowday artists, and then I took all the rest Sgt. Pepper to Abbey Road-2nd anthology to 3rd anthology to blue album, and stuck them back in my case. I took the useable stack and placed it beside the player. I searched through the books and videos and what nots. There was practically nothing that didn't have pictures or writing or something of the older Beatles. I shoved them all back in the case and took my cases and stashed them in the bottom of the closet. Paul was just sitting there watching me. "Can I do my laundry downstairs?" I asked. "I'll do yours too" I added spotting his pile of wrinkled dirty clothes. "that would be great, Thanks." He smiled standing up. I threw all the clothes in the hamper, now over flowing and started downstairs with Paul. I went to the laundry area and just left the hamper there. "You're hungry?" I asked him- lying on the couch in the sunroom as i walked into the kitchen. "yeah, famished." He said. I shook my head opening the fridge door. "K, I'll see what I can throw together" I called. "Fabulous, thank you Luvey" He replied. "No problem" I called back searching the shelves. This was a very well stocked fridge for such a bachelor. "What's with your fridge?" I asked. "What do you mean?" said he. "Well, theres like food in it" I said smiling at him. "Oh, that" he realized smiling. "yes well My housekeeper makes me eat, she buys me food" he said. I smiled. "your housekeeper?" I asked. "She cooks, cleans, does laudry and windows?" I added. He smiled. "I guess. She cooks sometimes, usually just leaves the food from the market, she cleans and sometimes does laundry, sometimes I do it myself" He explained. "Well that's handy" I said. Still searching through the fridge. I went to the freezer and flinched closing the door. "You know, you have a dead cow, and chicken in your freezer." I commented moving to the panrty. "Sorry, Luv, I forgot" He said looking over at me. "that's OK" I said searching through the cupboards. "You know I've been thinking of becomming a vegetarian." He stated. I stop and looked at him. "Why do you say that?" I turned to him. "Well, I have never thought of it really like you do and I think you have a good point." He started. "Well, I know I have a good point" I started off smiling. "But...All my friends have gone through this, they think what I hafto say about it is right and some aren't brave enough to do anything about it, and the others, they say they want to become a vegetarian and they do for a bit but then they just can't and they go back because, I know this you hafto WANT to do it, like really because if your beliefes about it are just flimsy then you wont be able to you hafto actually believe in it and say it's wrong and you hafto think there is no other way." I went on. "I don't know, but let's put it this way the friends I've had wanna be vegetarians because of what I say is high and the number that are vegetarians now is none" I finished. "I guess I get what your saying, but I really do want to." he said. I looked at him, "Well, you can think about it, you do whatever you want" I said looking back to the pantry. I saw the big macoroni noodles on his shelf. "Ooo, I want macoroni and cheese, is that OK?" I asked pulling out things. "Sure, great" He replied laying back into the couch. I put the noodles on the stove to cook and took out some chedder cheese and cut it into cubes. After the noodles were done I drained them and put them back on the stove with some milk, some butter, and the cheese. I stirred until everything was melted then took it off the stove. I found some lettuce and such vegetables in the fridge and made a lovely salad. I put things on plates and took down some glasses. "What do you drink?" I asked. "Milk" He requested. "Oh God, how do you drink that stuff?" I asked pouring it in a cup. "When I drink it, it makes me want to throw-up" I said pouring water for myself. "Naw, I love it" He said. He stood up and I brought the plates to the kitchen table. We both sat down. He took a bit and nodded. "hey this is good" he said. I laughed. "You sound surprised." I said. He smiled. "Noooo" He said jokingly. I smiled looking around at my surroundings. "I love your house" I said for the millionth time. "thank you" He smiled. "Yeah I really do" I said again. "Are we driving to Liverpool?" I asked randomly. "Yes, since we need to bring Martha back and you can see England too" He answered. "Oh yeah wicked" I said. "How long does it take to get there?" I asked. "About 6 hours by car" He answered. "6 hours?" I said in surprise. "That's far" I added. "Yeah, but it wont seem that long and you will get to see a lot of England." He said. I nodded. "I want to see Liverpool, I want to see the Cavern." I declared. "Yeah, I'll take you there." He nodded. "We'll hafto stay overnight in Liverpool, you know" He reminded. "Oh I hope so, we'd be driving forever" I said. "I dunno..." I trailed off. "They aren't that bad, Luv" He assured me, knowing what I was speaking of. "Don't worry about them, I love you" He said reaching across the table at my hand. "I love you too" I smiled. We finished dinner and I took the dishes to the sink. "That was great, Dear, Thank you." He said sliding his arms around my waist from behind me. I turned my head and kissed his cheek. "Your welcome" I said quietly. "Here" he said pulling me away from the sink. "I'll do the dishes, you can lie down" I smiled in surprise. "You want to do the dishes?" I asked. "yes" He said turning on the water. "really? that's surprising" I commented. "Why?" He asked. "because it's really nice" I said slowly. "What are you saying?" He looked at me sarcastically knowing what I meant. "I just mean that I am supposed to do the dishes." I said slowly. "You don't want me to do the dishes?" He asked still with a sarcastic tone. "But, I am supposed to do everything, see the girl cooks and cleans and does laundry and the guy, he sits and watches TV and eats." I explained picking up a sracastic tone as well. "Who says that?" He asked. "No one, It's a stareo type, But isn't true of now days?" I asked. "Not when I'm concerned." he said scrubbing the plates. "Well, you're quite a catch aren't you?" I said. "I'd like to think so." he answered. "thanks, by the way" I said. I kissed his neck and walked back to my hamper full of clothes. I started separating the clothes and started a load real quickly. Paul finished up and took my arm. "Come relax, Luv" He suggested. We snuggled on the couch together and he turned on the TV. It was a comedy show. I heard british humour was incomprehendable, But I thought it was really funny. The buzzer sounded and I jumped up remembering the laundry. I threw the clothes in the dryer and put in the last load. I laid back against Paul and snuggled into the couch. "I heard british comedy was awful, I think it's funny" I admitted. "Well I heard only Britts think british comedy is funny, maybe you're a britt at heart." He suggested. "I think I am." I replied in my nicely practiced liverpudlian accent. He laughed. "That was great" he chuckled. "thanks, I know" I said happily. The buzzer went off after awhile and I took out all the dry clothes and threw them in the hamper and threw the wet clothes in the dryer. I took the dry clothes to the couch and started folding the clothes. I stacked them all back in the hamper and relaxed back down. I was yawning like crazy and so was Paul. The jet-lag was crazy. "Let's get to sleeping, Luv" He said standing up. I took the things out of the dryer and just threw them in the hamper while Paul turned off the TV. I took the clothes upstairs and Paul walked around the house locking all the doors and shutting off all the lights. I was finishing all the folding on the bed when Paul came in. I separated our clothes and put them away in the dresser and threw the empty hamper into the closet. "Thanks, Luv" Paul said. "Sure thing" I said. I went to the bathroom and washed my face and brushed my teeth. I was just staring into the mirror when Paul walked in. He turned off the water and put his hands on my shoulders. "Wake up, Luv" He joked. I smiled. "I was just thinking" I said. He laughed. "I hope you don't "think" when you're driving a car or something." He laughed. I smiled and left back to the bedroom. I changed into my pajama pants and a spegetti shirt. I turned off the overhead light, leaving the night stand lamp on. I crawled into the soft bed and slid under the covers. I snuggled against the pillows. I had been thinking a lot lately about our relationship. I know he was always saying that he really loved me and that more than anyone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me...what did that all mean? Maybe it didn't mean anything, maybe he didn't mean it. Maybe he was just saying all that stuff to please me. Did he really want me here? I guess I had never given him any other choice, maybe he felt it was an obligation to let me stay here. Was he serious about me like he lead on to believe? I mean Just laying in this bed I couldn't help but wonder, how many girls had slept in this bed? I didn't even know if I could count that high. I sighed as paul turned the bathroom light off and came over into bed, sliding in next to me. He reached over and turned off the light and snuggled closer to me. He kissed me sweetly. "What's wrong?" He asked knowingly. I looked at him in the dark and I could barely make out his face. "I'm not sure." I said. "C'mon, Luv" He sat up. "Is it something I did?" he asked. I looked at him through the dark. He reached over to turn on the lamp and I held his arm. "I love you" I said. "I love you, too." he said sincerely. "Really?" I asked. "Is that what this is about?" He asked. "I guess..." I admitted. "You don't think I love you?" He questioned almost hurt in his voice. "No, that's not it, I mean I know you do, love me, but... what do u mean when you say that?" I asked. "I mean that I have never felt this way before, that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want to just be with you even when we are doing nothing, that I care about you and I can't imagine being without you." He said. "but, you've been engaged, you must have been in love." I pointed out. "I have been in love, I didn't say I haven't" He said. "but, you said..." i started. "I said I have never felt this way before, and I have not. Jane, she started out as more of an achomplishment than anything, and then yes after a while I fell in love with her and I thought it was perfect but it wasn't and I realize I kind of knew that before I asked her to marry me. But everyone just exspected us to get married and I thought it was the right thing, but it wasn't and it really never was." he explained. "How do you know I'm so different?" I asked. "Because, the moment I saw you i fell in love with you..." I cut him off. "And what's that? that's just shallow..." I started. "No, that's not what I meant, Sure I thought you were gorgeous just like everyone else did, and I also thought you were crazy for awhile (I heard the smile on his face), but that's not why I wanted to be with you, It was because I talked to you and the first time you spoke to me that's when you really got me, and everytime i talk to you now I fall in love all over again." He said. That was really sweet. "I don't throw around that word like you do-" He started. "Hey!" I protested. "i didn't mean it like that I meant, You can go around and tell people how you feel, that's great, people like it when they get told they are loved. I just don't say it to that many people I love." He said. "I don't mean girls, you're the only bird I love, but I meant my friends" He added quickly. "You don't have any reservations about that" he said. "No.." I agreed. "It's just harder for me, but I'm trying to say with you I felt it so strongly, it was easier to say and it meant more when i say it to you than to anyone else." He ended. "That's the way i mean it too" I said. "I want to know if your serious..." I asked. He knew what i meant. "yes, I am very much so. I want to be with you all the time and I want you to be with me forever and that's all I can say right now." He said to me honestly. I kissed him deeply. "I love you truely, paul and i want you to know i feel the same way." I said. "I love you, too." He said and kissed me deeply.I kissed him back just as such and it turned hot quick. I slid my hands under his shirt to his hot skin. He pulled his shirt over his head and started kissing my neck and kept going. He pulled up my shirt over my head and dropped it to the floor. Then he pulled the covers up over us blocking out the whole crazy world. (that means you as well, sorry). * * * We were breathing in unison before he shifted his wieght back onto his arms and leaned over me. He kissed me sweetly and rolled over. I ran my hand through his sweaty hair. "I love you Paul" I said sincerely. "I love you. too" He said pushing my hair away from my face. I smiled at him and yawned. He smiled back. "Now it's been a long long day, why don't you get some rest now?" He said laying back into the softness. I snuggled close up to him and he slid his arm around me. "Sweet dreams." He said. "Goodnight." I said before I fell asleep quickly as the strains of the day took over. I woke up and reached over to the other side of the bed. It was cold. I looked over at the clock. 10:47. I got up and walked down the hall, I heard Paul talking in the guest room. I opened the door wider and walked into the room. he was sitting on the bed, talking on the phone. "I know, Brian" He said. He smiled at me. "One sec, bri" He said and covered the mouthpiece with his other hand. "Goodmorning, Luv" He said and kissed me. "Goodmorning" I smiled. "Sleep well?" He asked. I nodded. "yeah, thanx" I said. "Is that Brian?" I asked. He nodded. "He called me to get on me about getting into the studio earlier." He rolled his eyes. I smiled and sat next to him on the bed. He uncovered the mouthpiece and brought it back to his mouth. "Brian?" He said. and they went on discussing their recording sessions. "Yes." Paul finally said in that getting off now voice. "yeah..." He said slowly. "Say Hi, Luv" He commanded. "Hi, Brian" I said loudly. Then I remembered what I wanted to say to him. "Thanky ou for letting me on tour, again, Brian" I said intot eh reciever. "He says ;your welcome', Luv" Paul said to me. He hesitated. "What does it matter?" he asked with a little heat. "No" He said firmly. "No, Brian, No" he repeated. I wondered what Brian was saying. "Nope, I hafto go, I'll call you later." He said. "Bye" He ended and hung up. "What was that all about?" I asked. He shook his head and smiled. "Nothing" He said like it was more something. "Uh huh" I said nodding. I sat up and pulled my legs against my chest. I looked at him and gave him a look. "really, he just was a bit uptight about you being here." He said quietly. "here?" I asked. "here...like England? or here like your house?" I asked. "here like my house" he specified. "Oh" I replied looking down at my toes. "Hey, don't worry about him, I don't want you anywhere else." He said putting his arm around me. I smiled and looked at him. "Thanks, but i mean what if he's right?" I asked. "He's not" Paul said. "But, maybe I shouldn't be living here...especially for appearances" I said. He scoffed. "You have nowhere else to go, I won't let you not live here, and what do we care what they think." He said. "Sure, we don't but what about Brian and everyone" I said. "I don't care and you don't care what else matters?" He asked. "But, your image..." I said. He cut me off. "i have found that no matter what i do, people will still believe whatever they want to believe and I'm really past caring.". I nodded. "I guess" I said. "I know" He said quietly. "But, now I hafto call my Dad" He said. I smiled. "And tell him we are comming" He added. I flinched. What would he think. He picked up the phone, and holding it between his shoulder and his ear he dialed the number. "Hey Mike" He greeted. "How's Martha?" He asked. He laughed at what Mike said and went on, "No, No, Ok How's it going Mike?". He laughed again and shook his head to himself. "Yeah, We're comming up tomorrow to get her." He said. I flinched at the "we" knowing he would catch that. "Yes" He smiled. "Sarah" He answered smiling at me. I shook my head with a look on my face. "I know" He laughed. "I dunno, we'll start out tomorrow morning." he said. "Ok, Can I talk to Dad?" He asked. "Bye Mike, see ya" He finished. " Hi Dad" he said. "Yes, Tomorrow if thats Ok" He said. "I know" "Yes, I do" "Sarah" "You'll love her" "Yes, Dad" "We're driving up tomorrow" "OK" "How's everyone over there?" "That's great" "we're Fine" "I know, Dad" "Ok, I promise" "I'm not sure we are leaving in the morning" "OK, Thanks" I motioned to Paul I was going to make breakfast he nodded and smiled at me. Saying he'd be down in a second he had to check something in his office. I made toast and scrambled eggs and tea and such putting it on plates on the table. I walked upstairs to peruse him in his office. I opened the door all of the way. He was sitting in a chair with a folder in his lap reading a document. "Sorry, Breakfast is ready." I said a bit quietly. "Oh, alright, be right there, Dear" He said putting the paper back in the folder. I walked back to the kitchen and sat down stirring my tea. He sat down across from me. "What did he say?" I asked. "Oh, Nothing really" He said walking with me to the kitchen. "Just that they couldn't wait to meet you" He smiled. "No, don't say that" I said. "don't make me any more nervous than I am" I added. He gave me a look. "What?" I asked. "Sorry, Luv, But my whole family wanted to meet you" "and...?" I asked. "And they will" He said quietly. "meaning...?" I asked. "I'm Sorry, But my Dad told the family and they wanted to meet you so when I said we were comming he wants to call all the family to have a get-together of sorts" He said quietly. "But, I guess if you really-" He started. "No, Paul It's alright, I can't wait to meet everyone" I said. "Thanks, Luv" He smiled. I smiled back. "Don't worry" he added taking my hand and pressing a kiss into my palm. I smiled wider. Aww how sweet. "What should we do today?" Paul asked taking a sip of his tea. I smiled. "Whatever you want" I said. He smiled. "I don't care, I've seen everything here a million times, it's your day, what do you wanna do?" He asked again. I smiled. Hmmmmm. "um, I dunno Whatever, surprise me then." I smiled. He smiled back. "Alright" He smiled wickedly. We just finished breakfast and the phone rang. "Can you get that, Luv?" He asked me as he turned on the water. "yeah, sure" I said happily. lol I get to answer his phone. I fall onto the couch and picked up the reciever. "Hello?" I asked. "Hey, Luv" John answered. "Hi" I said happily surprised. "How you doing over there?" He asked. "Great" I answered. "You?" I asked. "Alright." He said. "Who is it, Luv?" Paul asked. "It's John." I called. He nodded. "So, Luv, got any plans for today?" he asked. I laughed a bit. "Um, not really but maybe, why?" I asked. "Well since it's kinda hot out and probably for the last day till next year I invited ringo and maureen, and george and Pattie over to hang out so we could go swimming and have a fun time, do you guys wanna come?" He asked. "that sounds fun, lemme ask Paul" I answered. "Hey, Paul, John invited us over because ringo and maureen, and George and Pattie are comming because it's hot for like the last day and they are kinda having a party-like...and going swimming." I laughed that was confusing. "Sure, what time?" He called. "What time, John?" I asked. "At 1:00" He answered. "One" I told Paul. "We'll be there" he said. "He said "Alright by the way" I said. "Alright, great." He said. "How are you liking jolly old England than?" He asked. "I love it!" I answered. "I love Paul's house" I said with a fiendish giggle. "Do you now?" He asked. "Yes" I said. "You'll love my house, it's better than Paul's" John said. I laughed. "Is it?" I asked. "Yes, it's huge" He said. "well that's a plus" I said. "It is" He said. "It sounds fun." I said. "So what's going on at your household?" I asked. "Well, Cyn is running around doing stuff to get ready and Julian is sitting on the floor drawing a picture." He said. "Oh, yeah I can meet Julian then" I said in a happily surprised oh yeah! kinda voice. "yeah" he laughed. Paul sat next to me and put his arm around me. "lemme talk to him" Paul said. "Hey John, paul wants to talk to you, so I'm going to go get ready, but I will see you soon." I said. "Alright then, see ya." He said. "Bye" I said. "Bye, Luv" He said. I handed the phone to Paul. "I'm going to take a shower" I said to Paul. "Alright" he said. he kissed me quickly. "I'll be upstairs in a bit" He said. |
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