Stars 4: To Boldly Go

Author: Badgergater

Email: [email protected]

Season: 8

Episode: Actually ties in with the Premiere of Atlantis

Series/Sequel: The Stars series, a set of related but stand alone S8 fics

Category: Missing scene, somewhere early in the season (not sure exactly when the Atlantis crew departed) Crossover <sort of> with Atlantis

Pairing: None

Warnings: None

Rating: PG

Summary: Jack has to live with a hard decision

Disclaimer: Don’t own Stargate, and I know it, and acknowledge the power of those who do.

Author’s Note: Thanks to Margo, Sis, Cokie, and all those who feedback

The briefing room was dark but by the dim light reflecting from the gateroom below, Daniel Jackson could see the SGC commander. General Jack O’Neill stood uncharacteristically still and silent, looking down at the giant alien artifact.

"Jack?"

The shadowy figure turned and nodded, "Daniel," then turned back to his study of the quiescent gateway.

"It’s really late."

"I can tell time," Jack retorted.

"I know. I just thought that maybe you should take a break. Go home and get some sleep. It’s been four days."

"I can count, too," snapped the new general.

"I know you can. It’s just Jack, you can’t stay here forever."

"Can."

"Can’t."

"*Can.*"

The archaeologist sighed. The only thing more stubborn than Colonel Jack O'Neill was, obviously, General Jack O'Neill. "Okay, you probably could. But you know you shouldn’t. You have other stuff to do, places to go, people to see."

"I have people to see here, too. People I’m waiting to see."

"A team is overdue?"

"Yes, Daniel," Jack answered with mock patience. "Weir’s Atlantis team. Four days, and not a word from them…"

"Standing here staring at the gate won’t change that."

"Ah, yes, watched gates never boil, er, kawoosh," Jack answered softly.

"Something like that," Daniel smiled, hoping to lighten the dark atmosphere, which wasn’t dark because the lights were off. "We’ll hear from them."

"Maybe."

"Definitely."

"Maybe."

"Definitely."

Even in the dim light, Daniel could see Jack’s face tighten with annoyance. "I’m too tired to play word games, Daniel."

"They’ll figure out something. There are some brilliant people in that crew."

"If they’re not all dead. Or in the hands of the Pegasus galaxy’s version of the Gould."

"Wow, have you turned into the pessimist."

"I’ve turned into the guy in charge."

"You were always the guy in charge of SG-1, and you always believed, no matter what the situation, that we’d find a way out."

"That’s because I was part of what was happening, part of the solution, not standing here waiting..."

"And patience isn’t your strong suit."

"Gee, you’ve noticed."

Daniel nodded, thought a moment before adding. "We’ve always taken big risks. That’s what this program is about."

"I know, but," Jack turned and Daniel saw the weariness, the worry, etched on his friend's familiar face. "I just need to be here. Just in case…"

"They could be in Atlantis for weeks or months, Jack." Daniel found it hard to keep the envy out of his voice. He had wanted to go with them.

"Or be gone into oblivion forever. Sixty-eight good men and women," Jack waved a hand through the air in the general direction of the Stargate. "Gone, 68 good people."

"Even the Marines?"

"This is no time for joking, Daniel. I sent them out there, knowing the odds were that they weren’t coming back."

"Actually, President Hayes sent them out there."

"He didn’t have to stand here and watch them go," O’Neill countered, voice rough with anger he wasn’t sure who it should be directed at, other than himself. He stopped, rubbing his temples. "What do I tell their families? Their friends?"

"That they’re off on a grand adventure, like explorers have done since ancient times. Columbus and his men had no guarantees they’d return, the prevailing theory of the day was that they’d just sail off the edge of the Earth. Lewis and Clark exploring the unknown wilds of the North American continent were gone for years, and given up for dead. Alan Shepard rode in that claustrophobically tiny space capsule. It’s part of the human experience, to take risks, to reach out, to explore."

"To boldly go where no man has gone before?" Jack cracked sarcastically.

"Yes," Daniel answered earnestly. "We’ve done it ourselves. We didn’t know if we were coming back from Abydos, but we went anyway."

"That was different."

"Why? Because *you* didn’t care? The rest of us did."

"It was just different," Jack insisted. "Besides, it’s a moot point. We made it back."

"Yes, we did. We have to have confidence that they will, too. We gave them all the help we could, supplies, personnel, new technology. They're the best equipped expedition that's ever gone exploring."

"They’re out there without back up."

"True. But they knew the risks. They all volunteered."

Jack sighed. "I talked him into it you know."

"Who?"

"Major Shepherd."

"Oh."

"He didn’t really want to go. Turned down Doctor Weir. Said he liked what he was doing and where he was doing it. Then I came along and challenged him. Changed his mind."

"It happens. You’re a General. People will listen to what you say."

"Well they shouldn’t!"

"Then who should they listen to?"

"Themselves. Their own gut instincts."

"Not always." Daniel suddenly knew something else. "You wanted to go with them, too."

Jack’s smile was mocking. "With a bunch of scientists and geeks? No."

"You did. You don’t have any more ties here than I do."

Jack shook his head. "Well at least out there, there wouldn’t be any damn paperwork."

Daniel nodded.

"But no, I didn’t really want to go. No. I just…" the voice faded away to silence.

"You just want to be out there somewhere…"

Jack nodded silently.

"You miss it."

A tiny nod this time, reluctant.

"I meant what I said, Jack, back when we first talked this over. That no one knows what the SGC needs better than you do."

Jack shrugged.

"And I know that no one cares more than you do."

Jack shrugged again.

"Frankly, I don’t know how you kept at it as long as you did, with your knees and your back…"

"It wasn’t so bad."

"Oh, right. If the doctors had seen the wraps, the liniment, the pain pills you carried on every mission. Just listening to your knees crack every morning was enough to put us all off our breakfasts…"

"Are you saying I’m old, Daniel?"

"No. Just that you’re not as young as you used to be. I’m not either, nobody is, except maybe Teal’c…"

"And he’s as damn near as old as the rest of us put together…"

"Right."

"So? Your point, Daniel?"

"So I think you are so tired you won’t be any good for anyone should something happen. You should go home and get some sleep."

Jack sighed, letting a weary smile play across his lips. "You know, Daniel, for once, you’re right. I am tired. I’m going home." He took half a dozen steps toward the door, paused and turned, pointing back at the archaeologist. "But I could stay, if I really wanted to. Really. I could."

"I’m sure you could, Jack."

"No one here could order me do otherwise." O'Neill turned and began walking away again.

"Right, Jack."

"Not even you," the general called back over his shoulder.

"Especially not me. Goodnight, Jack."

"Goodnight, Daniel."

==The End==