Color in Silhouette

By: Badgergater

Email: [email protected]

Sequel/Series: The Colors Series #5, follows shortly after Evening Colors

Category: Drama/friendship/light romance

Pairing: Jack/Sara

Rating: PG

Warnings: None

Episode: None

Season: Several episodes into Season Eight

Summary: Sara sees Jack in a new light

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and these characters belong to a whole bunch of other people. I'm just borrowing them, and receiving no money for it. This story is my own creation, and may not be posted without my consent.

Author's Pledge: This fic, like all Badgergater fics, is honestly and accurately labeled as to content or pairing.

Author's Note: Thanks to Sis (hoping you're all better soon!), Margo for her support, CB for the beta, and to all those who feedback.

/--------\

The words of that old Herman's Hermits song suddenly rolled through her head... She had to be at the wrong house, on the wrong block...

She couldn't believe it.

She couldn't.

It had to be a mistake.

Sara O'Neill stood on Jack O'Neill's deck. Looking in to the dimly lit interior of his home, she could see him, standing in the living room, and he had his arms wrapped around someone whose head rested on his chest.

A female someone.

She knew what that warm embrace felt like, but at that moment, she felt cold. Ice cold.

Jack O'Neill had never been perfect, never been anywhere near perfect, but the one thing she'd always known about him was that he would never, ever, two-time her.

Never.

She'd always, always, counted on his honesty.

She'd *trusted* him, totally, completely, entirely.

And now...

Maybe he'd changed in eight years.

But by God, she was going to find out.

Going back to her original task of finding the key to his back door, which she knew would be hidden under the third potted plant from the left, Sara grabbed the key, stuck it in the lock, and opened the door.

Two heads snapped around to stare at her in surprise, but they weren't as shocked as she was.

Not only was Jack embracing another woman, that woman was, good Lord, barely more than a child. Eighteen, twenty.... young enough to be Jack O'Neill's daughter.

And the girl looked like she'd been crying.

"Sara?" Jack had the most innocent, questioning look on his face.

She was pretty sure her own face was white, if not red with anger. Fury laced her voice. "Jack, don't you think she's a little *young* for you?"

"Sara..."

"Look, I know we're just dating, and we haven't made any sort of commitment to each other, and maybe I just made the assumption that there's no other woman in your life..."

"Sara..." he tried to stop her.

"But I thought you would at least be honest with me."

The girl had taken a step back, silent, wiping tears from her eyes, looking up at Jack.

He took a step forward, toward the angry woman standing in the doorway. "Sara, let me explain."

"Oh, right, I can't wait to hear the explanation for this," she snapped sarcastically.

"Uncle Jack?" there was a tremor in the girl's voice.

"Uncle Jack?" Sara suddenly felt a little less certain of her anger, yet, she knew Jack didn't have any nieces, except on her side of the family, and this girl wasn't related to her.

"Cassie, it's okay. It's just a little misunderstanding," Jack soothed.

The girl was staring at Sara, and suddenly, the young woman's expression changed. "I know you! Your picture... you're Sara! Uncle Jack's..."

"Ex," both Sara and Jack stated at the same time.

"Very ex," Sara added.

"Sara, give me a minute to explain here, huh?" Jack asked.

Sara folded her arms across her chest, and stared up at him, waiting.

Jack turned to the young woman, steering her toward the sofa. "Cassie, wait here, I'll be right back." He picked up the remote from the coffee table and punched several buttons. "Watch TV," he ordered. Turning, he took Sara by the arm and walked her out the back door, across the driveway, all the

way out to where his truck was parked near the street. Far enough away from the house to be confident he was out of earshot of the occupant, he stopped. "That was rude," he snapped.

"Rude?" Sara asked, disbelieving. "I stop here to wish you a happy birthday and find you with another woman..."

"That's not another woman."

"Riiight."

"She's just a kid."

"A pretty grown up kid, though I have to say, I never pegged you for the rob-the-cradle type."

"She's 18 and hurt and *lonely*."

"She's lonely? That's your excuse?" Sara's voice was incredulous. "Jack, you're old enough to be her father."

"Damn it, Sara, get your mind out of the gutter. I've known Cassie since she was ten, and she calls me Uncle Jack. My team brought her back from...," he paused, waving a hand outward, "...a mission. Where we found her. Orphaned; the only survivor of her whole village. Everyone Cassie knew was dead. The poor kid was so traumatized she wouldn't even talk. Our base physician, Janet Fraiser, adopted her. It was a tough transition, but she made it. She's a great kid. Then, less than a year ago, Janet was killed, in an accident. Cassie's been orphaned twice, for cryin' out loud. She's in her first semester of college, she's all alone, and her boyfriend just dumped her. She needed a shoulder to cry on." Jack glared at Sara. "Does *that* explain it?"

It was a very long speech for Jack O'Neill. Sara could only nod, and answer softly, "Yes, it does. I'm sorry. You know what that looked like..."

His voice had lost the defensive tone. "Yeah. I know."

"Uncle Jack, huh?"

"She was all alone when she came here, so we all sort of adopted her, Carter especially, but even Daniel and Teal'c. We took her places, spent time with her."

If he couldn't be a real dad, he'd be an uncle, Sara thought. Cassie had been part of his healing from the loss of Charlie, she suddenly realized, part of the reason he had been able to go on. "Jack, I'm sorry," she repeated.

Jack's expression softened. "Yeah, I know. You don't have to apologize to me but..." he tilted his chin back toward the house, "you really should apologize to her."

"I will. I didn't realize. I just thought..."

"It was pretty obvious what you thought." The angry edge was back in his voice, tinged with hurt when he added, softly, "I thought you knew me better than that."

"Jack, I did. I do. I just, well, it's been eight years, and a lot has happened. People change..."

"Not like that. I'd never do that to you."

Sara closed her eyes, and sighed. "I should have known that. I, well, I guess I just never thought of myself as the jealous type."

"Jealous? So does that mean you care about what I do?"

"Of course. Damn it Jack, I wouldn't be here if I didn't care. I wouldn't spend sleepless nights wondering..." she stopped suddenly, biting her lip.

"Wondering what?"

"If I'm in love with you, or just too hung up on the past to let you go," she blurted out.

"You're not sure which?"

"No."

"Oh." He sounded disappointed.

Sara reached out a hand, touching his jaw. "I've been on my own a long time. Deciding to give that up, it's hard. I'm used to the peace and quiet, the silence."

"You never get used to the silence," he said softly, then turned away, as if suddenly realizing he'd just revealed something important.

She looked at him. "Jack, I, well, I just need to know that I'm doing the right thing, that..."

"You need to know that I won't hurt you again, and I can't promise you that. No one can, Sara. You have to take that on trust."

"And I guess I'm finding that harder than I expected." She nodded, and straightened. "I think I should go in and meet... Cassie was it?"

"Yeah. You'll like her. And she'll like you."

But Sara didn't get her chance to talk to the young woman, because before she got to the door, another car pulled in.

"Hi, Jack," a young man Sara recognized as Jack's former teammate, Dr. Daniel Jackson, climbed out of the vehicle. A stunning blonde got out of the passenger seat.

"Sara, you remember Daniel," Jack made the introduction.

"Of course," Sara nodded.

"Pleased," Jackson's small smile made her grin in return. He reached out to take the hand of the woman who had come with him. "And this is also Sarah, Sarah Gardner. And Teal'c came with us." Daniel introduced the large man who emerged from the back seat.

Before those introductions were completed, another car had stopped in the street in front of Jack's house.

"Ah, Sam and Pete made it," Daniel noted.

"What's going on kids?" Jack was glancing from one to another of the new arrivals suspiciously.

"It is your birthday, isn't it, Sir?" Carter asked as she walked up, introducing herself and her fiance' to Sara.

"Yes. So?"

"Is it not correct for one's friends to assist in celebrating the anniversary of one's birth?" Teal'c inquired.

"If you're all ten years old."

"Ah, but Jack, they brought cake," Sara pointed toward the box Teal'c was carrying.

"Cake?" Jack perked up at the realization.

The Jaffa bowed slightly. "Indeed. Daniel Jackson explained that donuts would not be appropriate."

Jack grinned. "Cake is always appropriate, T. Come on in."

/------------\

Half an hour later, the cake was history as well as numerous bottles of beer Jack had provided. The guest of honor had also managed to turn the conversation to a vivid description of the latest episode of The Simpsons. Deciding it was a good time to let the conversation go on without her, Sara picked up several plates and headed to the kitchen.

Cassie followed, also with a stack of plates. She was smiling as she entered the kitchen. "Jack loves The Simpsons."

"I've noticed." Sara took a deep breath, and turned to the young woman. "Look, I'm sorry about before, about jumping to a really bad conclusion."

Cassie shrugged. "I can understand. Uncle Jack ought to have a whole stack of women chasing after him." She laughed at the look on Sara's face. "But not me. I was just a kid when I met him, a lonely kid, and he reminded me of my father. Jack took the time to talk to me, to make me feel special."

"He has a way of doing that, especially with kids," Sara interjected.

"He just always makes me feel so safe, that everything's going to be okay, even when you think the world's going to end. His hugs just rock."

"Yes, they do," Sara nodded smiling knowingly.

Cassie paused, leaning against the counter, and looked directly at the former Mrs. Jack O'Neill. "So you and Uncle Jack are sleeping together."

Shocked, Sara gulped. "That's, ah..."

"Uncle Jack says sometimes I'm too straightforward for my own good, but I think I learned it from him." Cassie paused, and looked at the older woman. "So, are you?"

"Yes."

"I'm glad."

"Huh?"

"Jack needs someone. He's lonely. Not that he'd ever tell anyone, but Mom used to worry about him so much. With all he's been through, and the way he bottles everything up inside. Sometimes, he's just so sad. I think that's why he understood me so well, especially when I first came here, and I didn't know

anyone at all. He'd take me skating or hiking, or just down to the park to play with my dog, and we didn't need to talk. Sometimes we'd just sit and be together, and he'd let me cry when I needed to, or talk about my family and how much I missed them. And when my Mom died..." Cassie paused, fighting the tremor in her voice. "Everyone else tells you not to cry, to act the grown up, because that's what she would have wanted, but not Jack, not once. He just hugged me and let me cry on his shoulder as long as I needed to. And that's so strange, because *he* never cries. Not even when Daniel died, er actually, I mean when we *thought* Daniel died," she corrected quickly. "He just

clammed up and wouldn't talk to anyone about it.

"Sometimes, I used to think I was crying *for him, you know, because he couldn't, even when he should have. His eyes would get so sad, and when I first got to know him, I'd wonder what was wrong. Mom explained a lot of it, about his...your... son dying and how that broke his heart. About all the bad things

that happened to him years ago, in the military, all the friends he's lost and everything. About how sad it is to be alone, because everyone needs someone to love them. Mom said once that Jack was one of the neediest people she knew, and that his jokes were just a way of hiding, of pretending none of the things that happened to him mattered, and deflecting your attention. And that scared her, because she knew how hurt he was, inside, where she couldn't fix it." Cassie smiled sadly. "I think that used to make Mom work so much harder when he was her patient, because she knew that all the medicine in the universe couldn't fix a broken heart."

"Your mom was a smart lady."

"Yes, she was. We used to fight a lot, but," Cassie shrugged, "I

guess moms and kids do that."

Sara said nothing.

"For the longest time, he kept your picture in his bedroom. Did you know that?" Cassie went on. "On his nightstand, for years and years, all the time I've known him. When I first came here, and I saw the picture, I asked who you were, and he got this sad look and told me you used to be his family, but

you were lost. I didn't understand. I thought, if you were lost, he should just go *find you, like he found me. He was a soldier, and the bravest man I ever met, and I thought he could do anything. And then he sat me down and told me that he couldn't go find his son, because Charlie was dead, and that he had done some bad things that pushed you away. I didn't believe him, because I couldn't imagine Jack treating anyone he loved like that.

"People used to think he was sweet on Sam."

Sara nodded.

"But I think that was just his excuse, another deflection, so people wouldn't question why he wasn't dating anyone or anything. I mean, a guy as hot as he is, why *wouldn't he have a girlfriend? Except, he wasn't ready to let go of you, because that's him. He doesn't ever let go of the people he loves."

Cassie stopped and smiled self-consciously. "Gosh, I'm sorry, I think I've just talked your ear off."

"Actually, you've helped me out, Cassie. Filled in some of the holes of the

last eight years."

The teenager nodded knowingly. "He won't tell you, but I've noticed lately he seems happier. He needs someone to take care of him. Don't ever tell him I said that, but he does. Mom's gone, and I'm away at school most of the time, and now that he's a general, he's not part of his team anymore. General Hammond moved to Washington. All the people he counted on, they've all moved on or left him behind. That's got to hurt. A lot. So that hug you saw, it was as much me hugging him as him hugging me, you know?"

"I know."

"He pretends to be the tough guy, but inside, he's..."

"Needy."

"Yeah, that's it. Needy," Cassie agreed.

"Needy? What do I need?" Jack was in the doorway, looking in at the two women.

"Who said we were talking about you?" Sara answered.

"Right," Cassie added.

"You just look... conspiratorial," Jack added suspiciously.

"The only conspiring we're doing is about how we can get more food. We need something more. Neither of us had supper," Sara ad libbed.

"I was thinking of ordering pizza, actually. Since the cake's all gone. And the beer isn't."

"Great idea."

Jack grabbed the phone, hit speed dial three, and ordered delivery. "There.

Do we *need* anything else?"

"I don't think so," Sara said.

"Nope," Cassie added.

Jack started back out of the kitchen, pausing by Sara, draping an arm over her shoulder, and bending close to whisper in her ear. "What I need is you," he said softly, and walked quickly away.

/----------\

The end...... for now......