Life, Death, the Universe and Everything That’s Happened to SG-1

By BadgerGater

Email: [email protected]

Episode: Fallen/Homecoming

Season: Seven

Spoilers: Meridian, Full Circle, Fallen, Homecoming, stuff that happened in S6

Category: Missing scene, thoughts, drama

Pairing: None

Summary: Life changes everyone, including SG-1.

Rating: G

Warnings: May get sappy

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions; all the powers that be, not me; This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement intended. The story is the property of the author and may not be posted without the author's consent.

Author's Note: Everyone seems to think SG-1 can just pick up where it left off... but could they? Daniel wasn't the only one who had a rough year....

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

He didn't know who he himself was, but he knew that he knew the brown-eyed man.

Ahrum looked into the man's eyes, nearly level with his own, deep, dark, intense and... and hurt. This man, whoever he was, carried a whole world of hurt.

The hurt in the brown-eyed man was not just for himself, but for this Daniel he kept claiming was Ahrum; for the man he wanted Ahrum to be; the man he needed Ahrum to be.

There was something more there, in those bottomless eyes, something deeper, darker, burned into the man's soul. Despite the smile and the cheerful, mocking words, this was not a man who laughed easily or often; not a man who let the smile truly reach his eyes or his heart.

The smile, the laughter, the light and mocking words hid his personal truths.

But he was a good man, a man Ahrum could trust.

He knew that, too, somehow.

Ahrum studied the stranger's face. The man was no longer young, though he was not so old as the eyes would lead one to believe. The face was thin and tanned, marked by lines that revealed that his years had been hard. The profile was strong, and Ahrum had a sudden image of the chin, pugnaciously thrust forward, lifted in defiance.

He should trust this man, this gray-haired, brown-eyed man who insisted Ahrum was someone named Daniel; this man whose words joked to cover up the pain he carried inside.

Yes, even though the man sheltered his eyes behind the brim of his cap, it wasn't meant to conceal any lie but rather to cover his own soul's deep dark secrets.

Secrets, yes, but somehow, Ahrum knew that these were secrets that would not harm him or these people who had sheltered him. This brown-eyed man's secrets were the kind that could only harm the man who held them and refused to share them, who refused to release his burden.

Ahrum turned the words over and over inside his head. There was something familiar to those words. Something important.

Something inside Ahrum, something deep inside his bones, told him he could trust... Jim. That he could take the man's word as honest and sincere. That the mocking facade hid a man who cared more than he could admit to anyone.

That he cared about this Daniel.

That he was a friend.

A brother.

As they walked toward the Stargate, Ahrum felt the man's eyes on him.

All of the strangers watched him, the big dark man, the yellow-haired woman and the nervous young man; surreptitiously, endlessly, their eyes filled with hope, worry, joy, fear, anticipation, relief. But none of them shared the intensity of the gray-haired man.

Ahrum did not know this man, just like he did not know who he himself was.

But he was going to learn.

**********************

He knew it was Daniel.

He didn’t know how the man could have gotten here, or why, but on that one fact he was absolutely sure: it was Dr. Daniel Jackson, multi-PhD, geeky, pain in the ass archaeologist.

Yeah, Colonel John “Skeptic” O’Neill, going with his gut instinct, after all the weird crap he’d seen over the last six years.

But it *was* Daniel.

Despite the frightening emptiness in those blue eyes, Jack knew it was him.

How, he didn’t know. Not even Carter would have an explanation for this-- but it *was* Daniel.

It was not just wishful thinking on his part.

It was Dr. Daniel Jackson, in the flesh. No longer ghostly, glowy, throw-your-show-through-him *sort of* there.

Real.

Odd clothes, wrong planet, no memory and all, but it *was* Daniel.

Jack just couldn’t decide if he ought to be welcoming the prodigal son home with open arms, or kicking his butt all the way into the next galaxy for what he’d done.

Jack was glad Daniel was back, absolutely, assuredly, undoubtedly, but he was mad at him, too.

Not just because the man couldn’t remember Jack’s name.

Not because Daniel had left him, when he’d said he would stay.

Because of Abydos.

Daniel had promised.

And he had failed.

Daniel had *told* Jack that Abydos would be protected.

And Daniel hadn't kept his promise. He'd overestimated his own abilities or underestimated Anubis' power, but the bottom line was, Daniel had screwed up.

Big time.

Daniel had told Jack that it was okay to give Anubis the Eye of Ra, and Jack had done what Daniel asked. Jack had *trusted* him, had given that creepy alien *thing* the one thing it wanted.

And Anubis had used it to destroy Abydos.

Used it to kill Skaara, and all those innocent people.

Jack was complicit in the destruction of an innocent people, of men, women and children, dozens, maybe hundreds of *children*; people he had known and cared about, because he had believed Daniel.

All those people dead; their blood staining O'Neill's already blood-red hands, their deaths another black mark chalked up against his already overburdened soul.

So yeah, he was mad at Daniel.

Anyone would be, Jack assured himself, trying hard to reconcile the fact that he was happy that his friend was back at the same time he was angry and disappointed with this friend he’d thought he’d lost forever.

Jack knew he was better at anger than at forgiveness and understanding, there was not doubt of that.

Harboring a grudge was one of his real talents in life. And in death.

************

Jack stood next to Daniel in the locker room, and avoided his eyes, because he knew Daniel didn’t remember everything yet. And he didn’t want him to misunderstand.

Daniel was his friend, and he was glad Daniel was back.

But there *was* anger in his heart, too.

Daniel looked into Jack's locker and the pictures hanging there, and a memory came to him. “That’s your son. Charlie, right? He's the reason I know you. You took that first mission to Abydos because you thought it would be suicide…”

Jack answered quickly. “Things changed.” Yes, they had. Things had changed and times had changed and people had changed. Jack had changed. He'd learned to cope, though not to forgive, not to forget, but to go on.

Like SG-1 had gone on without Daniel.

Like it would go on, now that Daniel was back.

But Daniel had to understand, SG-1 had changed.

Jack had changed.

Daniel had been gone a year.

Things had happened.

To all of them.

To Daniel.

To Teal’c.

To Sam.

To Jack.

Bad things.

O’Neill shuddered, and knew he was not the man Daniel remembered.

*If* he remembers, Jack reminded himself.

Did Daniel remember what had happened in Ba’al’s fortress, Jack asked himself? He couldn’t forget that, either, or release his anger. Anger not because Daniel didn’t save him, he hadn’t ever really expected that.

But there was anger because Daniel had left.

He could have handled anything but that.

Being left alone.

Being left behind.

Dying alone.

No one wants to do that.

But he’d survived.

Recovered.

Mostly.

But Jack knew he was not the same, he would never be the same.

Time, circumstances, life, death, the universe, changed everyone.

A year among the ascended, and yup, Daniel was changed.

During that year, Jack had changed, too. A harrowing year of death and dying, of being stranded for weeks eating nothing but fish and arrugula with only Harry Maybourne to talk to, of being incarcerated for a murder he hadn’t committed, not to mention that little 'snake in the head' disaster that had dumped him into Ba'als clutches, and oh yeah, Jack wasn't who he'd once been.

No one stayed the same, especially not in the mad venue SG-1 worked in.

None of the team was the same, Jack knew.

Teal’c had changed. He didn’t have Junior anymore, and that was a big thing, a *huge* thing Jack didn’t believe the Jaffa had acknowledged yet. Jack shook his head. Right, the champion of denial talking about someone else’s failure to deal with change, he thought wryly. Well now, that was one for the record books: Jack ‘Don’t Talk About It’ O’Neill: a master at recognizing evasion in others, just not any good at dealing with it himself.

Carter had changed, too. Less naïve, Jack hoped she’d learned that lesson from First and the others on that Asgaard planet. He hoped she’d finally come to realize that, even when one held the power to command, one could still be powerless.

With a sigh O’Neill realized he’d probably have to fill Daniel in on all of this, try to explain to him what had happened.

Though most of it was unexplainable.

“I remember enough,” Daniel claimed.

Did he?

Did he really?

Or did Daniel only think he knew?

Because he didn’t know, he couldn't, Jack knew.

Jack was glad Daniel had returned.

But he knew dealing with the events of the past year wouldn’t be easy. For either of them.

Coming back from the dead never is.

------The End------