The End of Innocence

By BadgerGater

E-mail: [email protected]

Category: Drama, angst

Summary: Jack's POV; An explanation for O'Neill's subdued greeting to the newly Goa'uld-free Ska'ara

Season/Sequel: Three, sequel to Pretense

Spoilers: Pretense

Rating: PG. a little language, a little violence

Pairing: None

Warnings: None

Disclaimer: Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions; all the powers that be, not me; This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement intended. The story is the property of the author and may not be posted elsewhere without the author's consent.

Author’s note: I was puzzled by O'Neill's lukewarm reaction to Ska'ara in this whole episode. Even though he jumped at the chance to help Ska'ara, he seemed subdued in the young man's presence.

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I thought I would be happy to see Skaara free again.

And I was.

Really.

Sort of.

God, can't I feel joy about anything anymore?

I wish I could have enjoyed the celebration, loosened up and joined in wholeheartedly, smiling, hugging the boy... no, not a boy, he's not a boy anymore, not with what he's seen and been through.

His eyes. They were laughing and joyous and innocent, those eyes, when I first met Skaara. Full of life and excitement, mischief and wonder, hopes and dreams. They reminded me of Charlie's eyes, I guess, maybe that was it, that was what started the bond, something in Skaara that filled one tiny part of that gaping empty pit in my soul. Then those eyes were taken over by the glowing, evil, calculating eyes of the Goa'uld, and the dreams turned to nightmares. And now that the snake is gone, his eyes are haunted, too-old, too-weary eyes, old eyes in stark contrast to the young face. The mouth smiles, the voice sounds happy, but I can't miss what's in his eyes.

What the Goa'uld put there.

So much was taken, and can never be restored.

I should be happy for what is, not mourning for what is lost, but it seems all I can do these days is mourn, one life after another, one innocent life lost after another.

-----------------------------------------

Someone handed me a beer, or at least something sort of like a beer, and I lifted it in toast to the guest of honor. Our eyes met briefly, and then I had to go outside. I had to get out of there, get some fresh air, get outside to look at the purity of the night sky. I walked quickly across the neatly manicured lawn, so green in sharp contrast to Skaara's distant home world of Abydos. Distant, in miles and memories.

I stopped beside a small pool, sat down on a bench, and for a few moments I sat alone with my thoughts. I wanted to be happy for Skaara. I wanted to feel the joy I believed I would find in this day, when Skaara was finally free. But where was it?

It was as lost as his innocence, and his youth.

There was no going back.

Skaara will never be free again, in the way he was. He has seen the Goa'uld revealed in all their dirty, evil ways. He has been marked, and scarred, as their prisoner. I know what that's like, to be a prisoner. No matter that your body is now free, a part of you will always be back there, back there in the darkness, the joy stolen from you, forever.

God, he was a kid, just a kid, only a naive boy, and that innocence is gone forever. He has a warrior's eyes now, eyes like mine, eyes that have seen too much, memories that can't be forgotten, and regrets that can't be denied.

Boys don't stay boys forever, I know that. (A glimpse of Charlie flickers across my mind's eye. Well, at least if they're lucky enough to live long enough to grow up, I think, pushing the memory aside. That's the one blessing I could ever find in Charlie's too short life, that he didn't ever discover the disillusionment, the heartache and despair of adulthood, of hopes shattered and dreams denied.) They don't stay boys for ever. They grow up, leave behind boy's things, and become men.

Will Skaara ever have that life he so eloquently spoke of during that trial-triad thing the Tollan held? A home, a wife, a family, to grow old with.

I'm afraid he's been robbed of that, too.

Bad enough he lost out on three years of his life, what should have been some of the best years of his life. His teenage years, years of youthful freedom, of exploration, of learning about himself and his world-- games, partying, joking with the guys, chasing girls or girls chasing him, whichever way it's done on Abydos. I should ask Daniel that, he'd know.

-------------------

I heard the laughter and the noise from inside.

I was happy for Skaara, yes I was, so why couldn't I let it show?

Because my happiness is as shallow as his. I can't forget what he's been through, and I know he can't either. War does that to you, no matter how young you are, or innocent of wrongdoing, or helpless to stop the evil. You never get your innocence back. It's a one time thing. And when it's gone, it's gone.

----------------

Damn snakes put him through Hell: held prisoner in his own body, forced to hear his own voice used to give commands that slaughtered innocents. Forced to watch his own hand fire a weapon bent on killing his brother-in-law and friend. Forced to be party to his sister's ravishment at the hands of his Goa'uld 'father.' Forced to watch helplessly as his body was used to plot an attack on Earth and his friends there. Forced to watch helplessly while his own flesh participated in who knows what other unspeakable acts. All the while no one could hear his silent screams of protest, except Skaara himself. I know that much about the damn gould, from just those few endless moments when I struggled within my own body to fight off the onslaught of Hathor's snakelet.

How did he fight on, day after day? What horrors did he endure in years of such hellish enslavement?

Just thinking about it makes me want to puke.

-----------------

"O'Neill, why are you avoiding me?"

My head jerked up to look behind me, at Skaara. There was hurt in his eyes, because he didn't understand. Damn.

I didn't want to face him, didn't want to explain, didn't know if I could explain, because it was all wrapped up with who he is and who he was, who I am and who I was. Things were so different, back on Abydos, when our friendship was forged.

He was a simple, innocent boy. I was a walking dead man, drowning in my own grief, sinking into the darkness, and he insisted on finding something in me to look up to. Hard as I tried to push him away, to remain cold and impassive, he broke through the wall I'd built around my soul, that boy with innocent, hopeful eyes. So like my son's.

Skaara and Daniel, on Abydos, they changed me.

Daniel, who threw me a lifeline by reminding me I had something to go home to. He was wrong, and yet he was right.

Skaara re-awakened my shriveled soul. Reminding me that although my own child was dead and gone and beyond my ability to help, I could still care about someone else's child, at least enough to find an alternative to slaughtering thousands of innocent people to accomplish a military objective that turned out to be futile, anyway.

Skaara saw something good in me at a time I believed there was nothing good left in me, when I thought there was only darkness left inside my soul. Here was someone who wanted to be around me, who wanted to learn from me, who wanted to matter to me when all I wanted was to crawl into a dark hole and let no one matter, ever again.

He made me care, damn him.

And then I lost him, too, to the freakin' snakes.

Skaara was still standing in front of me, a question on his face. "O'Neill," there was worry in his eyes.

"Have I done something to offend you? Did Klorel...?"

"No!"

He recoiled from the vehemence of my answer, hurt in his eyes. "I will go. I do not blame you for hating me."

"I don't hate you."

"I was your enemy."

"*You* were never my enemy, Skaara." You were my son, I thought, but I couldn't say it. I wanted you to be my son all over again. And you weren't, and yet you were. "You couldn't stop what Klorel did. I know." I closed my eyes, remembering what Hathor's larvae had done to me. "I know their power. No one can defy them." I fell silent, trying to find the words, failing, as I always did, to find a way to say what needed to be said.

After a few moments, he said, very quietly. "O'Neill, I do not understand. You must tell me what I have done..."

"It's not what you've done. It's what I did."

"You?"

"Me. The last time I saw you, on Apophis' ship, I killed you. I chose Daniel over you..."

"You chose Daniel over Klorel, as you should have."

I turned to him in the dim starlight. "I shot you." Images of Skaara's blood soaked body flashed through my mind, overlaid by images of another boy's blood drenched body. Each one, killed by my gun. "I *shot* you."

"You shot Klorel, and in doing so, intended to save me. Better that I were dead than a slave to that demon."

"Right. Saved you. Sure. They put your body in a sarcophagus and revived you and made you go on, like that. I couldn't even do that right."

"You did what you could, O'Neill. And you gave me hope. Even while I battled the demon, I knew you were still out there, you were still fighting, that you would never quit until the Goa'uld were defeated, my people safe and free, and my suffering ended. I knew you would never stop, you and Danyel. I did not blame you. I welcomed the bullets, and regretted only that they did not accomplish the task they were intended to do, to end the life I was living."

"So I failed you again."

"You did all you could. And you saved Danyel and your own people. It was what you had to do, O'Neill, the right thing to do."

I closed my eyes. The right thing? At what price? Another life I valued, another life I had pledged myself to protect, another life I had let matter to me. Another person I had failed. And even if now he was free of that damn snake, he would never be free of the memories.

Caring about anyone still came with too high a price, I reminded myself.

"In those moments, what I thought they were my final moments," Skaara's quiet voice continued, "I blessed you O'Neill for saving me. For having the courage to end my suffering."

"You make it all sound so noble, Skaara. It wasn't."

"I understand. It was war, and in war a man must make difficult choices. This is a war to save our peoples, yours and mine."

I looked away, out into the sky, wishing I knew if one of those stars was Sol. Softly, I answered, "we should have left your people alone, Skaara. Left the damn gate closed. You and Sha're and all those others need not have suffered..."

"We were already suffering, O'Neill. We were slaves to the Goa'uld, made pawns of a false god. You, you and Danyel, you opened our eyes and made my people free. That is a more precious gift than life."

"There is no more precious gift than life, Skaara."

He shook his head. "That is not what you told Zipacna, in triad. You and Danyel. Life as a slave is not life at all, is that not what Danyel said, what convinced Lya to choose my plea over Klorel's?"

"I guess."

We sat silent in the darkness for a long time. Finally, I asked, "what are you going to do now?"

"Go home to see my father, and Sha're's grave."

"You know you can't stay there. The gould will come after you, if for no other reason than that you're Daniel's friend and mine; for Klorel's revenge, and Zipacna's. He's an enemy now too."

"I know. The Goa'uld are threatened by the knowledge I possess. So once I have visited my father and the grave of my sister, I must leave again, and give my knowledge to those who could use it to further the war against the Goa'uld."

"And that would be?"

"The Tok'ra."

"Not Earth?"

"I believe that would put your planet in even more danger, O'Neill. And so much of what I know, I do not think could help you fight against the System Lords as much as that same knowledge will further the same ends through the Tok'ra. I know you do not trust them..."

"I don't trust anyone with a snake in his head..."

"And neither do I, O'Neill, but they are our allies, are they not?"

I shrugged. "As much as they are allies with anyone, but themselves."

"I have already given my word to the Tok'ra, that I will go with them."

I nodded. "I understand..." I started to rise, turning, and saw a flicker of motion in the darkness. "Who's there..?"

Suddenly, something slammed into the back of my head and everything went pitch black.

---------------

I think I was only out for a few seconds, because I came to lying on the ground, someone wrenching my arms behind me. Instinctively, I surged upward, trying to get to my feet, pull myself away, but I was groggy and lightheaded, and the hands holding me were strong. Something was fastened tightly around my wrists and I was jerked to my feet. As my vision steadied, the black spots fading, I could see Skaara was being held by some big goon.

I could barely make out the oddly whispered words, spoken to the boy. "Speak and he dies," the big man jerked his head toward me. And then he turned just enough so that I could see the face.

Zipacna.

"Oh for crying out loud," so Zippy hadn't left the planet, hadn't bugged out to the Goa'uld ship as soon as the battle started like we'd thought. Quite apparently, he hadn't. "What do you want, huh?"

"I tire of his prattle. Gag him," the big Goa'uld hissed the order at his Jaffa who was holding me.

I opened my mouth to yell a warning at the partiers inside, then nearly choked as something was stuffed between my teeth while I struggled vainly.

Zipacna loomed over me, that ugly sneer curling his lip. "Ah, this is such a nice bonus. Both Klorel's host and the most annoying of the Tau'ri. I will be well rewarded for turning the two of you over to my Lord Klorel. Well rewarded." He signalled to the Jaffa holding me. "Come on, let's get out of here, quickly. It's a long way to the ship."

Skaara looked at me, a sad, apologetic look on his face as we were marched quickly away from the bright lights of the party and into the dark city.

{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}

"Hey, Sam, have you seen the guest of honor?" There was a small frown on Dr. Jackson's forehead. "I can't find him, or Jack."

"Skaara? Hmm. No. Haven't seen him for quite a while, actually."

"He and Colonel O'Neill went outside some time ago," said Teal'c in his solemn, dulcet tones. "I believe they wished to speak in private."

Daniel nodded. "I know. That was nearly an hour ago. I looked just now and can't find them."

A frown creased Major Carter's face. "That's odd. I don't think they'd have gone far."

All three walked out of the bright party atmosphere and onto the quiet lawn.

"I saw them here by the water, talking, just a few minutes ago," said Teal'c. Walking toward the small bench beside the pond, Teal'c suddenly noticed a glint of metal in the grass. Reaching down, he picked up a small object. "Are you familiar with this, Daniel Jackson?" he asked, handing over the thing he'd found.

Jackson's face darkened as he stared down at what he held in his hand. "This is Jack's lighter. The one he gave to Ska'ara on our first trip to Abydos. Ska'ara hung on to this all the time I was on Abydos, it was his most prized possession. He wouldn't just leave this here." He raised his eyes to look worriedly into the eyes of his teammates.

Teal'c dropped down to one knee, examining the ground. "It is difficult to see in the darkness, but it appears there was some kind of struggle here, someone was down on the ground. There are the footprints of Earth boots here, of Tok'ra shoes, a pair of very large sandals, and several pair of Jaffa armored footwear."

"Jaffa? Sandals?" asked Daniel.

Sam and Daniel looked at each other with dismay.

"Zipacna wore sandals, really big sandals," said Sam. "And he had at least three Jaffa with him."

"It appears they were taken this way," said Teal'c striding across the lawn. "We must get our weapons, and go after them."

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I staggered through the darkness, the Jaffa prodding me whenever I tried to slow our pace. Every few strides I stumbled, falling to my knees. Sure, I was plenty dizzy from that blow to the head, and I actually was having trouble keeping on my feet, but mostly, I was trying to slow us down, give the others time to miss us and come looking for us.

It worked for a while, until ZipStrip got tired of my little charade. "Weakling," the big Goa'uld muttered at me. "A little tap on the head and he is stumbling about like a drunk. Carry him," he ordered one of the Jaffa.

Unceremoniously, I was slung over the Jaffa's shoulder in a fireman's carry.

It's not a mode of travel I'd recommend. Already dizzy, now hanging upside down, the Jaffa's armor clad shoulder digging into my gut, I suddenly got very scared I'd start retching, which could be deadly with that gag in place. I struggled, feet flailing, and the Jaffa dropped me.

I landed on hard ground, sidewalk actually, falling gracelessly and with my hands bound behind me unable to catch myself. I hit crunchingly on my hip and side, the wind knocked out of me, gasping for air, a moan escaping past the gag.

"More trouble than it is worth, this Tau'ri O'Neill," said Zipacna, contemptuously, zat gun in hand. "Get up. Or I'll shoot him," he pointed at Skaara.

I struggled to get up on my knees, trying to catch my breath, not easy to do with a wad of cloth stuffed into your mouth. I was going to have some major bruises, if not more, from that fall, if I didn't choke to death first.

"Please," I heard Skaara plead at the big Goa'uld. "Please. He cannot breathe."

Zipacna nodded. "Okay, you may remove the gag. We are far enough from his friends that no amount of shouting will be heard."

Skaara was quickly at my side, untying the cloth that held the gag in place. I spit it out, sucking in great gulps of air, sides heaving as my oxygen starved lungs slowly responded.

When I finally had enough air to speak, I glared at the Goa'uld. "Bastard," I whispered.

He laughed. "Ah, spirit, Tau'ri, I like that. You are not so smart as that other, that Dr. Jackson creature, but you are a fighter. You would make a splendid host. It's a pity the System Lords have other plans for you. Now, you have delayed us long enough. On your feet. And remember, each of you is responsible for the other." He stared at me. "If you shout, or try to escape, I will kill him," he pointed at Skaara. Then he turned to the Abydonian, "and if you, host to Klorel, if you yell or attempt escape, I'll kill him," and Zippy pointed at me.

Skaara nodded. "Let him go, and I will come peacefully with you."

"No! Skaara, no."

The young man looked into my eyes. "O'Neill, it is okay."

"No, it's not."

"Oh this is so touching," said Zipacna in his oily voice. "Such sweet affection you Tau'ri wallow in. But it does not matter. You have nothing to bargain with, host. You are both going with me."

Once again, rough hands grabbed my arm, jerking me to my feet and propelling me through the dark alleys of the Tollan city.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}

The Tollan leader, Counselor Travell, was stunned. "You say O'Neill and Skaara have been taken away?"

"The signs are that Zipacna and several of his Jaffa returned to the city and have kidnapped Colonel O'Neill and the Abydonian," Teal'c explained.

"But the Goa'uld delegation, Zipacna and his men, were seen leaving the planet, using a transport device," the Tollan chancellor insisted.

"Apparently, they left the city, perhaps going to a small ship hidden nearby. That is likely where they are heading now."

"So we've got to reach them before they get the Colonel and Skaara off the planet," insisted Carter.

"It may already be too late," Teal'c answered. "Our best hope is that the ship needed to be hidden well away from the city, so it will take them substantial time to travel there."

"And Jack would realize that, and delay them any way he could," suggested Daniel.

"Yes. So we must hurry."

Just then, Nareem strode into the room, carrying Teal'c's staff weapon and zat gun, Major Carter's MP-5 and Daniel's handgun.

"Your weapons will function once you have left the city center. I am sorry for this," he bowed at the members of SG-1. "We will do all in our power to assist you."

Grabbing the weapons, the remaining members of SG-1 hurried out of the building, across the yard to the spot the kidnapping had taken place, and began to track their missing leader.

{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}

"Hurry up!" the Jaffa shoved me in the back, again. God, I was getting sick of this. Damn uppity snakeheads, always like to be pushing people around. "Look, buddy, if you hadn't hit me so hard back there, I--"

The Jaffa shoved me again, and I sprawled to my knees. You try to keep your feet with your hands tied behind your back, a splitting headache, and a 400 lb. goon shoving you around. Okay, okay, he didn't weigh 400 lbs, well, maybe if you included the armor.

We walked quietly for a half dozen strides, then I turned to look again at the dour faced guard who was prodding me forward. "You know, you guys really do need to update the fashions a bit. I mean, that armor stuff, it's so last year. On Earth, that went out way back with Ivanhoe and...."

A large hand smacked me on the side of the head. My ears rang as I crashed to my knees.

"Shut up!" ordered the big Goa'uld. "You are annoying me, human, with your endless inane chatter. Save your breath for walking."

"Hey, I need a little witty banter while I walk, helps pass the time you know, keep the spirits up and morale high, Zippy..."

"Shut up," the big Goa'uld snapped.

"Now, Zipper, that's downright rude..."

He hit me again, a vicious, back-handed slap across the face. I'd seen it coming, managed to rock back on my heels just enough that he didn't break any bones with the blow, but I felt the rough edge of his glove slice through the skin before smashing into my cheek.

I think he must have hit me again, then, because the next thing I knew I was lying on the ground, gasping. My head already hurt, and now the whole side of my face was throbbing, blood leaking continuously from the cut above my eye and more running rather freely out of my nose. Good job, O'Neill, I thought, watching the red fluid puddle on the ground beneath my head. I think you made him mad this time.

Skaara was once again beside me, helping me to my knees as I swayed dizzily, using his sleeve to wipe the blood from my face. Didn't help much, because more was oozing out steadily, from both locations.

Well, I'd wanted to leave sign for Teal'c to follow, I knew he was one hell of a tracker. He shouldn't miss this, I thought, as I dazedly watched more blood drip from my nose to the ground.

"Get moving!" Zipacna shoved Skaara, who dragged me upright, steadying me.

"You snakes like hitting people when they can't fight back," I tried to sound cocky, hard to do with blood all over your face. "Untie my hands and make it a fair fight, Ziploc."

Guess he didn't like that nickname either, I thought in that split second before his ham sized fist impacted my unprotected ribcage. I felt something give, a sharp, stabbing pain driving me to my knees. Dimly, I saw Skaara pushing at the big man, trying vainly to drive him back from me, but it was an unequal fight, sheer size plus the exaggerated strength of the Goa'uld dooming Skaara's attempt to help me. Zipacna thrust an arm out, driving it against Skaara's chest, flinging the Abydonian away. I managed somehow to get to my feet, ignoring the agony in my chest, plowing head first into the big Goa'uld's gut. He simply brushed me aside with a laugh, following up with a knee to my ribs.

I collapsed and lay still where I fell, the agony in my chest so intense I couldn't move, much less stand up. I saw Skaara crawling toward me across the grass as Zippy waved away his goons. "Let them, they can help each other walk. It's not so far now."

Shit, not so far. Where were Teal'c and Carter and Daniel, hell, where were our Tollan allies, the ones who'd taken away our weapons? They'd said we'd be safe on this damn planet.

--------------------

Teal'c had been tracking the fleeing Goa'uld, his Jaffa and his prisoners for several hours now, and he knew they were drawing closer, much closer. But they were also getting farther and farther from the city, and there was grave danger that Zipacna could reach his ship before O'Neill's rescuers could stop him.

Here and there all along the trail, Teal'c had found obvious signs that O'Neill and the Abydonian were leaving him clues. The Colonel's watch he'd found back along the trail, a piece of Tok'ra cloth, ripped from Ska'ara's shirt, and another remnant of material from O'Neill's black t-shirt. And here, soaked into the sandy soil of Tollana, a rust red stain, still fresh.

"What's that?" Daniel asked, coming up to stand beside the Jaffa.

Carter looked at the stain, and swallowed. "Blood."

Daniel gulped. "Jack's?"

"Or Skaara's, I cannot say for sure," Teal'c was studying the ground intently. "But this is O'Neill's bootprint, here and here, so most likely it is the Colonel who is bleeding."

Teal'c followed the telltale drops as they led away, crimson dots vivid between the footprints.

"What are those marks?" Daniel asked, seeing two small indentations in the sand near the bootprints, then several more a dozen strides ahead.

"That is where someone has fallen to his knees, and pushed himself up," said Teal'c quietly.

"Oh," muttered Daniel.

"We should hurry," the alien of SG-1 suggested, and began to jog along the trail, the others rapidly following.

{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}

"O'Neill?"

I opened my eyes to hear Skaara's worried voice. "Skaara?" I slurred. I looked around and realized I was on my knees, again, sagging against the young Abydonian. I tried to shake my head to clear it, groaned at the pain that the movement caused. I must have been passed out again because my brain wasn't processing information at all.

"O'Neill, come on," Skaara was pulling at me, pulling me back toward my feet.

Clumsily I pushed off with my foot, gasped at the pain that flared in my side, sagging back to my knees, coughing. "Can't," I gasped, coughing up blood, not sure if it was from what I'd swallowed from my leaking nose, or from a punctured lung. Might be the former, felt like the latter, I thought dully. Skaara looked behind me, at someone I couldn't see. I didn't have the energy to look up, couldn't remember past the pounding in my head, figured I didn't want to remember anyway. "Come on, O'Neill, you must get up."

For him, I would try. I stiffened knees that felt limp as undercooked spaghetti and managed to get upright, wobbly, leaning in against the youngster. It would be easier if I could use my arms, but for some reason they were caught, no tied, behind me. Oh shit, the memories suddenly came crashing back, Zippy and the Jaffa and the ship and being kidnapped.

"Walk, O'Neill, you must walk," Skaara pleaded.

I tried. I took a couple steps, lurched against Skaara, whispered into his ear, "don't get on the ship. Make a run for it. Order."

His eyes flared. "I cannot do that."

"Leave me. Save yourself," I whispered again.

"Hey, you. Quiet. No talking. Save your energy for walking, Tau'ri."

I staggered on a few more minutes, and then we came out of the woods and into a small clearing, where a small tel'tac ship sat, half-hidden under the edge of the trees. "You, check it out," Zipacna ordered one of the Jaffa.

I looked over at Skaara, saw the fear on his face and knew it was mirrored on my own. If they got us on that ship, we'd never see home and friends again. They were going to put that snake, Klorel, back into Skaara and he'd never get another chance to be free. Damn. Zippy hadn't said what they were going to do to me, but I knew if the snakes were involved, it wouldn't be anything pleasant.

Leaning against a tree, barely able to stand as the ground and sky tilted and spun dizzily, I closed my eyes, and tried desperately to think of a way to stop the inevitable.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}

"We have found it!" Teal'c cried out in sudden satisfaction. "The ship. I can see it."

Carter pulled out the binoculars, and studied the meadow stretched out before them. "There's one Jaffa walking toward the ship...." she continued to move the glasses methodically searching. "There!" she let the glasses fall away from her face, and pointed into the trees. "The Colonel, Skaara, a big guy that's got to be Zipacna, and one Jaffa."

Teal'c looked at the scene before him, studying it carefully. "We must get down there, to the ship, before they do. Come." Grabbing his staff weapon, he ran towards the ship.

{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}

The Jaffa had disappeared into the ship, then emerged moments later to wave an okay at his Goa'uld master.

"Go." Zipacna wrapped his oversized hand around my neck, pulling me to my feet, pushing me forward across the meadow. He fixed his gaze on Skaara. "You will come peaceably or I will crush his throat."

Resignation showing in the dark eyes, Skaara nodded, and began walking in front of me toward the ship.

We made slow progress as I stumbled across the field. Hard enough to walk battered as I was, but with that damn snakehead cutting off half my air supply, my knees kept buckling, slowing our progress. Okay, so yeah, maybe I was helping things out a little, but not that much. Mostly it wasn't faking. Mostly.

{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}

"Here they come," Daniel announced, field glasses fixed on the center of the meadow. "Oh God," he whispered, watching Jack stumbling, seeing his friend's blood covered face.

Carter nodded at her teammate, and slipped the safety off her weapon, wondering if Zipacna had a personal shield. They'd soon find out.

{{{{{{}}}}}

I was not going to get into the ship, or let Skaara get in it either, not if I could help it. Just a few yards from the door, having made up my mind I wasn't going anywhere with good ol' Zippy, I simply gave in and let my legs collapse. Must have taken dear old Zipster enough by surprise because his hands slipped off my neck as I sagged to the ground.

"Arrggh!" Zipacna's angry shout brought someone from the ship, someone who looked like... Teal'c?

Things started happening fast then, way too fast for my sore head and battered brain to keep track. It was Teal'c in the ship, and he fired his zat, taking down Zipacna before the big Goa'uld had time to activate his personal shield. The second Jaffa was spinning toward Teal'c, raising his weapon, when I heard the familiar chatter of MP-5 fire from the trees, and the Jaffa went down.

Skaara, who'd hit the deck the moment he'd recognized Teal'c, was back on his feet, running back toward me. Teal'c was checking on the fallen Zipacna, and I saw Carter and Daniel emerge from the trees. She checked the Jaffa she'd shot, then headed toward me.

I tried to push myself up off the ground, got halfway there with Skaara's help. "O'Neill, O'Neill, are you all right?"

I coughed. "Oh fine, I'll be just fine."

Then Teal'c was there, freeing my hands, and I brought my left arm around to cradle my sore ribs, and the right hand up to touch my face.

Daniel was there, too. "Jack, hey, you okay?"

"I am now," I said with a sigh, letting my eyes fall shut so the ground would stop swaying. I hadn't missed the horrified look on his face, and a similar one on Carter's, figured I must be a hell of a mess with all that blood caked on my face. "Looks worse than it is," I muttered.

"Unhuh," said Daniel, disbelief plain in his voice.

{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}

Teal'c had firmly tied Zipacna's hands behind him before the Goa'uld recovered from the zat blast. "Nice and tight," I suggested, watching carefully. "Little dose of his own medicine," I added, rubbing my own raw wrists.

It didn't take long for the Tollan to arrive. They took Zipacna into custody, checked out the tel'tac ship, and arranged transport back to the city. I spent most of the time sitting, back resting against a tree, eyes closed, trying to decide whether it was more beneficial to ignore the broken ribs or the concussed head and failing dismally to do either one.

Carter gently washed the blood off my face.

"How bad is it?" I asked.

"Bad enough, Sir, you're going to need quite a few stitches. It will probably leave a scar."

"Oh. Guess I'll have to cancel the modeling contract."

She smiled grimly. "It will just give you a rakish look, Sir."
"Rakish?" I tried to smile, realized that hurt too much, and laid back to wait for the transport and the long ride back to our visitor's quarters in the city.

Back at the city, someone was waiting, in addition to a whole delegation of chagrined looking Tollan, one of my favorite people in the whole universe: Lya.

"O'Neill," just the way she said my name soothed the pain, "sit and let me help you."

I wouldn't have accepted the healing from anyone else, not one of the Tollan or the Tok'ra, I don't trust all that alien magical medical hocus-pocus stuff, but Lya I had faith in. Hell, she'd brought us all back from the dead once before with no untoward consequences.

"Close your eyes and think pleasant thoughts." Wasn't hard to do, with her gentle touch. I felt a pleasant sensation of heat in my face and my ribs, and the pain there and in my head began to ease and then vanished. I felt warm and safe and comfortable, and an undeniable urge to let myself drift off into quiet blissful nothingness.

Lya's soft voice lulled me to sleep. "Rest now, O'Neill. Your injuries will be healed before you wake."

I squeezed her hand in wordless thanks, and I didn't need to open my eyes to see her smile, I could feel it.

I slept for hours, and as Lya promised, woke pain-free and healed. Love those people, the Nox, gentle and kind, Lya especially, not just for helping me, but for helping Skaara too.

<><><><><><><><>

It was hard to say goodbye to Skaara again, but I knew it was right for him to go to the Tok'ra, little as I like or trust them. His knowledge could help them in the fight against the Goa'uld, which meant helping us, indirectly. Still, I would miss him.

"Well, whenever you want a vacation, you're always welcome at my house," I said lightly.
"Thank you, O'Neill. I hope someday I may visit your world, and see the wonders of it, see this thing, this hock-ey, played on frozen water." He shook his head at the impossibility of so much water, frozen hard enough to walk on. It was the most amazing thing I'd ever told him, I thought sadly, back when he was an innocent Abydonian boy. "When this war is over and the Goa'uld are dead and gone, I will visit your world, and play hock-ey."

"I'd like that."

He grinned, the bright smile I remembered so well, and if it didn't light up his eyes the way it used to, well, that I understood.

"Until then, I must go with the Tok'ra. They can use so much of the knowledge I learned by studying Klorel." Darkness clouded his bright eyes. "And they will help me deal with the rest of what that demon left in my mind."

I looked down at my hands once more.

"We will be fighting on the same side, O'Neill."

"Yes."

Slowly, I stood, and let the smile cross my face, and reached out to hug the young man, wholeheartedly this time, not hiding the shaking in my own shoulders, letting the emotion flow through me. Then I stepped back, holding him at arm's length, studying him. He wasn't a boy anymore. He never would be. He had grown to be a man, one I would be proud to fight beside.

XXFINISXX