Crystal Images

By BadgerGater

E-mail: [email protected]

Category: Missing scenes and Sequel to Crystal Skull; drama

Season: Three

Spoilers: Crystal Skull

Pairing: None

Rating: PG

Warnings: None

Summary: Jack's POV during Crystal Skull

Disclaimer: Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions; all the powers that be, not me; This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement intended. The story is the property of the author and may not be posted elsewhere without the author's consent.

Author’s note: Carol wanted more, so for her, anything.

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I hit the ramp, dropping Carter as I collapsed, aware of Teal'c crashing through the gate beside me. It was all I could do to raise my head and look around. We'd made it home, alive, well three of us, at least.

Except for Daniel.

We'd left Daniel behind.

Well, sort of, because Daniel wasn't there and how could I bring back someone who wasn't there? Damn, I hated this job. A wave of blackness washed toward me and with a groan of despair and pain, I let it consume me.

------------

I was dimly aware of things going on around me. I remember retching, shaking, and retching some more; an all consuming weakness that made it impossible to even lift my head; Doc's quiet voice talking soothingly; feeling cold, then warm, then shivering, then burning up-- oh shit.

Daniel? Sam? Teal'c?

Sam was lying on the bunk to my left, Doc said she'd be okay, but if she was as sick as I felt, it was going to be a while. Teal'c, he'd been on the bunk to my right, which was empty now, that was good, wasn't it? Yup, good, he'd been able to sit up last time I was awake, back when I'd been so weak all I could do was dream of lifting my head off the pillow while listening to Doc and the General and Teal'c.

Shit, that's what I felt like, death warmed over. And overcooked death at that.

Food, shouldn't have thought of food because I suddenly felt my stomach clench. Desperately, I rolled over onto my side, and someone was there, a cool hand touching my forehead. "Colonel?"

"Sick," I mumbled, and then I was, Doc fortunately right there with a basin under my chin. I retched and my stomach heaved, and there was nothing in it anyway, but that didn't stop my rebellious innards from vigorously protesting the invasion of those neutral zone thingies. After a few minutes, I shakily managed to raise my head, eyes closed, groaning, and rolled onto my back. "Oh, God."

"It's okay, Sir," Fraiser soothed, wiping my face with a cool cloth.

"No, it's not," I complained. I hate being sick, I especially hate being sick and having someone fussing over me, which was actually better than the alternative, which would have been heaving all over my sheets.

"Colonel, this is to be expected. Radiation makes everyone nauseous. It should go away in a few hours."

"Hours?" Oh Lord, hours more of this.

"Here," she said, and I opened my eyes just enough to see the straw dangling in front of my mouth. I sipped the cool water gratefully, washing away the bitter taste.

"Daniel? Have they found anything?" I asked.

Her voice was soft, the cool cloth back on my face. "Teal'c is getting ready to go back for the skull right now."

I opened my eyes, raising my head. "I need..." My head got about three inches above the pillow before things started whirling around, things like the walls and the floors and Fraiser's face. "Uh," I moaned, dropping back.

"Sorry, Sir, you're not ready."

"I need to..."

"Colonel, you need to lie down right here and rest. There's no getting around it. You need time..."

"How much time does Daniel have? Hmm?" I snapped.

"Sir, I know you're worried about him. We all are. But you are not ready to get out of this bed, and trying to get up too soon is just going to delay your recovery. General Hammond is doing everything he can, and we will let you know everything...."

I needed to get out of there. I rolled over, groaning, pushing myself off the bed with my arms, sort of sitting up, head hanging, propped up on my elbows, and totally unable to go any further.

Doc was out of patience. "Colonel, lie down. Rest."

I glared at her, and dropped back on the bed, planning to rest a few minutes, then try again.

I guess I fell asleep because it was hours later, according to my watch, when I surfaced again. I was curled up on the bed, a curtain pulled closed between me and Carter, but I could hear Doc and Teal'c talking on the other side of the flimsy material.

So, despite her orders to the contrary, I'd tried to climb out of bed and ended up in a heap on the floor, and even I could see I wasn't ready to go anywhere. Yet.

You know, I haven't felt like this since that night I took the bet to drink.... No, you don't want to hear about that. Suffice it to say, it was back in my wayward youth before the Air Force, and Sara, and maturity changed my opinion about a lot of things.

God, my head hurt.

---------

I slept, and woke and slept some more, but restlessly, because my mind kept returning to that image of Daniel disappearing right before my eyes, and my desperation at knowing I couldn't help him.

This time I managed to sit up on the bed which lasted all of about three seconds before I was shaking so hard I had to lie back down again. But at least I'd seen that the Major was stirring. "Carter, you awake?"

"Yes, Sir," came a shaky reply. "What happened? Daniel? Did we find..."

"Sorry, Carter, no Daniel. Yet. Teal'c brought back the skull and Rothman is working on it."

"Robert? Oh." I heard her groan and then retch and damned if I didn't start in again myself.

Oh Lord, I hate being sick. Collapsing back onto the bed, I gave in to reality once more and slept a little longer.

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My watch said another four hours had passed, and I'd slept nearly the whole time. I felt a little stronger, or so I told myself. I managed to sit up this time, shaky but with at least my upper body upright and the walls and floors stayed in place this time. Progress. I raised an unsteady hand to wipe across my eyes, hoping I looked better than I felt or I was never going to convince Doc to let me out of here. But I'd had enough of lying around. There had to be something I could do to help in the search for Daniel.

Deciding this time I actually could stand unaided, I swung my feet off the bed, carefully shifting my weight, grinning grimly that I was standing this time, only leaning slightly on the bed. Now if I could find some clothes---

"What do you think you're doing?" came an angry shout from behind me.

I spun around, or tried to, tripped, caught myself by grabbing the rail on the bed. "God, Doc, don't *do* that."

"Well, *you* shouldn't be doing *that*."

"What?" I asked innocently.

"Getting out of bed." She pointed at the bunk. "Back there. Now."

"No." Sometimes, the best policy is just be blunt. I am, after all, her superior officer.

"Colonel, just a few hours ago you were only minutes away from a lethal dose of radiation. You have no business getting out of that bed."

"Doc, one of my team is missing. *Daniel* is missing. We don't even know how much radiation he might have been exposed to. We don't know if he's dead or alive or just visiting in another dimension. He *disappeared*. I am *not* going to lie here and do nothing..."

"And just what is it you're going to do?" she asked, pointedly.

Damn that Doc, she does come up with good questions. "I don't know. Yet. But..."

"No buts, Sir, back in bed."

"No." I can be stubborn.

So can she. "Do I have to call for back-up, Colonel?"

Okay, so belligerence hadn't worked. Maybe a plea for mercy would. "Doc," I softened my voice, put on my best little boy smile. "I have to do *something*. I can't just lie here and wait. Daniel's missing."

"And he'll still be missing even if you walk out of here and pass out halfway down the hall."

"I won't."

"You will."

"If I can walk out of here, you'll let me go?"

Oh, yeah, she was confident. "Sure. If you can walk out of here and all the way to the end of that hallway, on your own, without falling over? Certainly Colonel."

Apparently, no one ever informed Fraiser that stubborn is my middle name, and when I need it, it can be my first name. Carefully setting one foot in front of the other with the concentration of an Olympic gymnast on the balance beam, I walked out of the room and down the hall. So, yeah, my legs were a little wobbly, but the walls only shimmied once or twice and I always sweat like this. Yup. Once around the corner, where the SF station was, I grabbed his chair and thankfully sat down.

Suddenly, she was there, with *that* look on her face. The one that meant she was *not* done with me yet. Damn it.

"Colonel!"

"Doc, you said I could leave if I walked to the end of the hall. Which I did. So. I'm leaving. In a minute."

"Colonel..."

"Doc, I'm going to my office and change clothes, and then I'm going to find Teal'c and the General and get on with finding Daniel."

She was studying me, assessing, thinking, and finally, nodding. "Okay." She pulled a packet of pills out of the pocket of her lab coat. "Take two of these when the nausea returns. Which it will. And then two more every three hours." She turned to the SF, "Sergeant, make sure Colonel O'Neill gets safely to his office. Give him whatever help he needs."

Once she left, I looked over at the startled SF, then stood, leaned on his shoulder, and shuffled down to my office.

Changing clothes was no big deal, and then, because I felt a little tired, I decided to rest my eyes for a moment before I went looking for my CO. Five minutes, I ordered myself as I laid down and took a little nap on that cot in my office. I woke up a couple hours later.

I really was feeling better, still a bit from okay, quite a fair piece from all right, and honestly still way far from normal, but I was functional. Slowly I walked through the halls and up to Hammond's office. The General waved me in and I gratefully sank down on a chair, not even waiting for his invitation.

He hung up the phone and swung his chair around to look at me. "You look like hell, Jack."

With him, I can be honest. "Feel like it, too, Sir. Any news on Daniel?"

"I'm sorry. Nothing."

"Damn," I reached a hand up to scrub across my face, and damn near fell off the chair.

"Jack, are you sure you're ready for this? Maybe you should go back to the infirmary..."

"Damn it, Sir. No!" I was tired, sure, and worried, but I couldn't rest, either. Not when one of my team was missing. "I need to be doing something, General."

"What?" he asked, not unkindly.

"I don't know, Sir," I admitted. "But there's an answer, somewhere."

"Jack, trust me on this. When there's something for you to do, I'll let you know. But I need to know you'll be ready when the time comes, and forcing yourself out of bed before you're ready isn't helping Dr. Jackson, or Major Carter, or yourself."

"Sir..."

"Colonel, I won't order you back to the infirmary if you'll give me your word you'll go back to your office and rest..."

"General..."

"Colonel, I will inform you the minute we've got any news, or ideas or speculations, anything at all. Until then, the best thing you can do for Dr. Jackson, and yourself, is go rest, so you'll be ready when we *do* need to call on you."

I didn't want to admit it, but he was right, and I knew it. "Yes, Sir," I answered wearily and went back to my office, took a couple of those pills Doc gave me, and curled up on my cot.

-----------

I slept. Odd thing, though, was I had this really, really weird dream, so vivid it was like it was real. I was lying on the cot in my office, and I woke up to see Daniel sitting in my chair, watching me. He was telling me to rest, that he'd find a way to let me know when there was something I could do to help.

"We'll find you, Daniel," I promised the vision, thinking radiation really does do weird things to the human body, brain included.

"I know you will, Jack. You never give up. It's your best quality, well, aside from your sheer pig-headed stubbornness."

"Not pig-headed."

"Huh. Pig-headed Jack, definitely."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

Man, I don't know what was in those pills Doc gave me, but there I was, arguing with my own dream. "Daniel?"

"Yes, Jack."

"We'll find you."

"I know."

I don't usually put much stock in dreams, hell, most of mine are bad ones anyway, but I found this one strangely soothing, and this time when I dozed off I slept soundly and stayed asleep for hours.

--------------

It was a good thing I'd gotten that rest, because pretty soon we were on a plane to Oregon, off to meet Daniel's grandfather, and I needed to store up what energy I could. I still didn't feel like eating, but I forced myself to consume a sandwich for lunch and drank a big glass of milk to wash down the pills Doc sent along. I needed two more of the damn things while we were waiting for Nick. My stomach was pretty upset, still, but then again, maybe it was that place. Hospitals, especially those kind of hospitals, make me nervous. Guess I'm still afraid they won't let me back out the door.

So, yeah, despite the nap on the plane, I was tired by the time we got Dr. Ballard back to the SGC, and he looked over the skull. And then things started to happen and I didn't have time to think about how I felt, I had a team mate who needed rescue, and I'd worry about me, later.

So we went back to that pyramid/temple/cavern place, and found Daniel and left his grandfather behind with those giant ghost alien guys. Damn, I know Daniel felt bad, losing Nick that way, losing the only family he had, just when he'd found him again. And I know he felt guilty for not believing the old man's story, and for the fight they'd had four years ago, and not visiting him since.

Guilt, see, I understand guilt. I carry around a truckload of my own.

So once we were back through the gate, and walking down to the infirmary, again, I lagged behind, looking over at Daniel. He'd been pretty damned quiet since we'd left the old man behind on that planet. "You gonna be okay?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Sorry."

"About?"

"Losing Nick, just when you'd found him. But it's nice to see he found himself. He missed you, you know back there..."

"Yeah, I was there, Jack, remember?"

I nodded. "Oh, yeah, right, the ghost in the corner thing." I looked down, then back at my friend. "So how did it feel, being a ghost?"

"Strange. A little scary, that I could see and hear you and you couldn't see or hear me."

"Ah, that must have been frustrating. Talking and no one listening."

He laughed. "Oh yeah. I'm kind of used to it, though," he said shooting me a knowing look.

What, he thinks I don't listen to him? Okay, so yeah, *sometimes* I do tune him out, but not when he says anything important. I swear.

And then he looked at me with that sly little grin. "And you *are* pigheaded."

My head snapped up. "Pigheaded? You were there?"

"Oh yeah. And Jack," he paused, looked down, then up into my eyes. "Your brand of pig-headed is a good thing."

I started to walk away, shaking my head, not sure if I'd just been complimented or insulted, but glad to have him back.

-----------------

All of this was nearly a week ago now, or so Fraiser says. Seems I wasn't ever really over that first dose of radiation sickness, though I didn't hear all of what Doc said about that. Except, of course, she did finish by mumbling something about 'damn fool patients who don't listen to doctor's rational, sane orders intended for their own good but instead call them insulting names.' Doc does get testy with me sometimes, but usually I forgive her, knowing she's got such a stressful job and all.

She says I'm damn lucky, too, although I sure haven't felt like it. Mostly I felt like one sick, grumpy, Colonel.

Truth is, I don't really remember what happened after we got back, see, because about five minutes after I sauntered into the infirmary, things like the walls and the floor and the ceiling suddenly started swooping around, and that ugly sick feeling came back. This time Teal'c took pity on me and actually grabbed me *before* I hit the floor. In about six seconds Doc was fussing over me and then people started sticking me with needles and shouting all that medical jargon back and forth over my head while I tried to figure out whether that kaleidoscope of colors I was seeing on the ceiling was a new paint job or just my brain turned into Swiss cheese by those marino thingys.

Turned out it *was* just me. Seemed the second dose of that mulish radiation stuff, despite the best intentions of those big ghosty guys, didn't do my body a bit of good. I couldn't look at food, couldn't even think of food for about four days. Mostly I just slept a lot, Daniel says.

I'll have to take his word for that, since I don't remember anything except a lot of bad dreams about searching for Daniel through the smoke and the fog. Well, and then there was that Bullwinkle the moose character who kept popping up out of the haze. Don't know how he got in my dreams, but there he was. Fever will do strange things to your head, though, I know that. Especially since I also seem to remember Daniel sitting by my bedside, looking worried, and actually apologizing for calling me an ass. Since that could only happen in my dreams, I *know* I imagined the whole thing.

FINIS