Colors Not Gray
By Badgergater
Email: [email protected]
Season: 8
Spoilers: Numerous for eps with Replicators and Asgaard
Series/Sequel: Part of my fic series, Colors; all the other Colors fics are posted on my website, www.geocities.com/sg1_oneills_house
Pairing: Jack/Sara
Category: Romance, light humor
Warning: Naked Jack moment
Rating: Teens and above
Warnings: Hm, some intense images may spark the imagination
Summary: Sara meets one of Jack's more unusual friends and there's ship of another kind
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate, SG-1, or Jack. Unfair, I know, but true nonetheless. No copyright infringement intended to all those folks who *do* own 'em: MGM, SciFi, Gekko, Double Secret, etc. This fic may not be posted without the author's permission.
Author's Pledge: You don't have to guess or wonder or start reading and feel that you've been fooled. The facts about the fic are presented here, allowing you to make an informed choice about whether or not to read.
Author's Note: thanks to Cokie, for helping me get the muse back in motion; Margo, Sis, Martina, Ulrike, Ede, and all the 'schlossers' and to all those who feedback. Jack still rules, at least, in our universe.
Sara O'Neill was in Jack's bedroom, snuggled deep under the covers. The clock read 4:30 a.m., an ungodly hour to be starting the day. But then, Jack had always been an early riser. She watched as he slid out of bed, clad only in his boxers, strolling into the bathroom. She heard the familiar sounds of his morning routine, comfortable noises that told her she wasn't alone.
She must have dozed off while he showered, because the next thing she was aware of, he was standing at the end of the bed. Jack was wrapped only in a towel knotted around his waist, dripping water on the carpet as he dug through the dresser drawer in search of clean underwear. Sara admired the long legs, the long arms, the broad, square shoulders, and the tousled gray hair. Maybe if that towel slipped a bit she could admire a bit more of his anatomy, she mused.
As if he'd heard her, the towel suddenly fell to the floor as he pulled out a pair of boxers and bent over to step into them.
Her appreciative giggle gave away the fact that she was no longer asleep.
He spun to look at her. "You're awake?"
"Hmmm hmmm," she wrapped the quilt even more tightly around herself.
"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you."
"It's okay. Nice view."
He made a face at her, rolling his eyes, and pulled a white t-shirt up over his head. Stepping back toward the bed, he leaned in and kissed her, his breath tasting of mint toothpaste. "Flattery will get you anywhere you want to go," he whispered into her ear. "But not until later. I've got to get into the office," he apologized, kissing her once again. "But later--" He turned away and was pulling on his pants.
That's when it happened.
He disappeared.
A flash of bright light, a split second startled look on his face and he was gone into thin air.
"Jack!" Sara shouted his name, sitting up in the bed. "Jack!"
Maybe she was dreaming. She must be dreaming. People didn't just disappear. She'd only just thought she'd seen what she'd just seen-- but there was the towel, still damp, on the floor. She was losing her mind-- she was-- this couldn't be happening. *This *could *not * be *happening. People didn't just disappear. They didn't. They did not. "Jack?!?--"
/---------------\
One minute Jack O'Neill was there, in his own bedroom, almost dressed, and the next, he was in a little gray room with a huge and honkin' picture window that showed him the giant blue and white sphere of Earth floating against the velvet blackness of space. "Thor!" he shouted as he finished buttoning his pants, spinning around to look for the Asgaard. "Thor!"
The little gray guy inclined his head in a slight nod. "Welcome, O'Neill--"
"Thor, has anyone ever told you that you have the *worst* timing of *any* race of *supposedly* intelligent beings *anywhere* in the whole *freakin'* galaxy?"
The Asgaard looked up at his guest, puzzled. "You are upset--"
"Ya' got that right."
"Did I interrupt something important?"
Something important? "Thor, put me back now, or I'm a dead man and you're a dead alien."
"But--"
"I'll explain later. *Put * Me * Back * Now*."
"But O'Neill--"
"Thor, send me back to my house right now or so help me I'll kick your little gray butt all the way back to that Idaho galaxy of yours-"
"O'Neill, I have an important--"
"No," Jack's arms waved wildly through the air as he punctuating his sentences. "I don't care what's happening. I don't care if the whole galaxy is on fire. I don't care if the Replicators are on your doorstep. I don't care if your cat is stuck in a tree and I'm the only being in the whole *universe* that can get him down. Send me home and give me five minutes to explain, then *you* come on down." For emphasis, he held up one hand, fingers splayed. "Five minutes. Five!" O'Neill pointed at the Asgaard. "And when you show up, you better be on your best behavior, got that?"
"But--"
"Ach!" the general waved one long finger in the air. "I said five minutes."
"As you wish, O'Neill."
The white beam sprang into existence.
"And if you upset her, so help me I'll--"
/-----------\
"--wring that scrawny neck--" In that instant, in the span of the blink of an eye, Jack O'Neill was back in his own house.
"Jack?" Sara was standing in the middle of the bedroom, still wrapped in the quilt, a more than slightly hysterical look on her face. She looked like someone who'd just seen a ghost, or actually, like someone who'd just seem someone disappear right before her eyes. "Jack?"
He stepped forward and threw his arms around her. Sara grabbed hold of him like she needed to be sure he was real. She was shaking, too.
"Shhh, shhh, it's okay, it's okay," he soothed, rocking her.
"You d-disappeared. One minute you were here and then you were just-just-just-- gone," her voice was trembling. "I thought-- I thought-- I thought I was seeing things."
He stroked her hair. "You weren't supposed to see that, but you weren't seeing things, and I wasn't in any danger, I promise you."
"Jack you *disappeared*."
"Yes." He said it very matter of factly, hoping his calm acceptance of it would steady her.
"But--"
Holding her tightly, he sat on the edge of the bed, pulling her down to sit on his lap. "It happens sometimes."
"It's not possible. People don't just vanish." Her voice was rising.
He rubbed his hands up and down her arm, feeling the goosebumps. "In everyday life, no, it wouldn't be, but you know my job--"
"This is what, some kind of new twenty-first century Air Force weapon?" the hysterical edge was back in her voice.
"Not a weapon, and not Air Force, actually, no. It's., um, actually, it's an alien transport device--"
"Alien?"
"Friendly aliens, called the Asgaard. I told you about them before, sort of, when we talked about Colson's press conference," he was relieved to see her nod. "Thor's a good friend. He needs a little work on his wardrobe, granted, but on the whole, for an alien, he's not a bad guy. He's got some really nifty technology." Jack watched her face very carefully as he told her the next part. "He wanted to talk to me so he just sort of, ah, beamed me up to his ship."
"*Beamed* you up to his ship?" she giggled hysterically. "Like StarTrek, beam me up, Scotty? You do *that*?"
"Not exactly, but sort of, I guess, yes." Jack pointed straight up. "His ship's in orbit above Earth."
"He just came to visit?"
A hint of resignation crept into Jack's tone. "No, he probably wants something. He usually does."
"An alien wants something from *you*?"
"I've, um, helped him out a couple of times in the past," Jack grinned. "The Asgaard even named a ship after me once. But it got blown up," he added with a sad frown.
"Blown up?" She still had that deer caught in the headlights look.
"By bad guys, bad aliens. But a long, long ways from here. Long ways."
"Long long ago and far far away?"
"Sort of," he pulled her in close, rubbing his hand in slow circles on her back to calm her. "There's nothing to be frightened of, Sara. I should have told you this before, but I didn't think he'd just decide to snatch me right out of my own house. Usually Thor waits until I get to my office," he confessed.
"So this happens often?" Sara asked, incredulously.
"Fairly often. I guess I'm his favorite human." Jack shrugged. "No accounting for taste I guess."
He could see that she was working hard to pull herself together. "He should ask first."
That was good, she was regaining a bit of control. He relaxed a little. "Yes, he should." Jack ran a hand along her arm. "You okay?"
"I think so. I was scared, when you just disappeared."
"That's understandable. I don't want you to be frightened when, ah--"
Her eyes went wide again. "When what?"
"When he beams down. Thor is coming here," He felt her tense, and gripped her hands more tightly. "Sara, it's okay. You'll like him. He's kinda cute, in a very gray sort of way. Not scary at all, just short and really spindly, skinny with these big, big eyes and well, ah, naked, but don't worry, there's nothing to look at--"
And then Thor was there, in a flash of light, standing at the end of the bed.
Much better timing this time, Jack thought happily.
Sara gasped, leaning in against Jack and pulling the quilt tighter around herself.
"O'Neill?" the alien asked, nodding slightly.
"Thor, I'd like you to meet Sara. Sara, this is my friend, Thor."
The small gray creature stepped forward, extending its hand and nodding its head. "Greetings. I am Thor, Supreme Commander of the Asgaard Fleet."
Sara looked over at Jack, and when he nodded in approval, she reached out and tentatively touched the odd, knobby fingered hand. "I'm Sara O'Neill, friend of Jack."
"More than friend," Jack mouthed at the little alien. "Much more."
She was shaking hands with an alien, a real, genuine *alien*, its otherworldly skin touching her palm. Sara stifled a giggle. "Pleased to meet you," she squeaked.
"And I am honored to make your acquaintance, Sara O'Neill." The great doe eyes blinked and turned to Jack with a slight nod. "She is lovely, as you said."
"Yes, she is," he answered, possessively. "Smart, too."
"I would not assume otherwise, for one who has won your respect and affection."
Jack smirked. "Good assumption, little buddy."
Turning back to Sara, Thor bowed slightly once again. "I apologize for startling you. O'Neill is normally alone in his house and I did not anticipate that he would have company so early in the morning."
"She's not company," Jack piped up, then looked at Sara. "She's-- special."
"That is apparent," Thor nodded.
"So be nice to her," Jack warned.
"I shall, O'Neill."
"Good. Now Thor, I'll be in my office in an hour. We can talk there without upsetting anyone. One hour."
The little gray guy nodded, and in a flash of light, disappeared.
/----------\
Once the Asgaard was gone, Jack turned to Sara with a sheepish smile. "Sorry about all that. This whole thing wasn't my idea." He was very pleased to see her color had returned to normal, and she wasn't shaking at all. "You're okay?"
"I think."
Frowning, he waved a hand in the air, "If you're-"
"I'm okay. I just need a little time to take it all in."
He nodded, then leaned forward to kiss her lightly on the lips. "Look, hon, I've got to get to the office."
She smiled knowingly. "I know. You've got an important appointment this morning."
"Yes I do," he smiled, relieved at her apparent acceptance of all that had happened. "We can talk more about this tonight, if you've got questions," Jack added as he hurriedly finished dressing.
"Oh, I'm sure I'll have questions," she smiled, standing and making waving motions at him. "Now, go, flyboy."
He started for the door. "I'll be home for dinner, I promise."
"Don't be making promises you can't keep, buster. Thor might need you."
/----------\
Jack arrived at his office to find a stack of papers on his desk: mission reports, requisitions, personnel files, memos regarding Air Force policy, the day's schedule, the day's amended schedule, and amendments to the amended schedule. Sighing, he rolled up his sleeves and sat down to begin reading, scanning, skimming and initialing where initialing was warranted.
He'd only gotten through three sheets of paper before his first visitor arrived, and he, of course, was neither on the schedule nor on the amended schedule.
Still, he was someone Jack was happy to see.
A bright flash of light, and there stood O'Neill's favorite little gray guy. Though favorite probably wasn't much of a compliment, Jack mused, considering the other little gray guys he knew. "Hey, Thor."
The large head on the tiny body nodded.
For the hundredth time, Jack wondered why the heck the little critter didn't overbalance and topple right on over when he did that.
"Greetings, General O'Neill. I am pleased that you have safely arrived at your designated work location."
"Ah, well, you know, it's just the place where I put my nose to the grindstone, day after day," a little of his unhappiness with being a desk jockey crept into his tone. Forcing it lighter, he added, "So, what can I help you with today, Oh Supreme Commander?"
Thor's request was quickly made, and O'Neill as quickly agreed that Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter could provide the Asgaard with the required scientific knowledge.
"Thank you, O'Neill. Once again, the Asgaard shall be in your debt," the alien answered graciously.
"In debt to me personally, or humans, Earth, and the Air Force in general?"
"All, O'Neill."
Jack toyed with the fancy gold pen on his desk, twirling it between his long fingers. "So, ah, you wouldn't be averse to providing a little personal assistance? As a debt repayment."
"If I am capable, I would consider it an honor to be of assistance to the legendary O'Neill."
"It's just a little favor I was hoping you could help with. I wouldn't be asking, except you were the cause of the problem this little favor just might resolve."
"You are referring to the unfortunate incident earlier this morning."
Jack sat back in his chair. "Oh, yeah."
"Your special friend is upset?"
"Well, maybe not upset upset, but sort of unsettled. Rattled. In need of reassurance."
Thor nodded.
"You do understand how very special she is?"
"She is your bond partner."
Jack swallowed. "She was, before, a long time ago, and then, some things-- happened."
"She was the mother of your lost child."
"Yes," he answered simply.
"And you wish to make amends so that you may be her bond partner once more."
O'Neill nodded. Thor had put it succinctly. "Well, we've sort of bonded already, if you know what I mean," and then wondered if the alien did know. Especially since Jack couldn't tell if the little gray guy was in fact a guy, since there were no obvious outward signs. "Anyway, I was thinking that, in future, she'd be less upset when I do the beam-me-up thing, if she knew what it was like herself. How it feels and where it is I go."
"You wish to have Sara O'Neill visit my ship?"
"Exactly."
"That is possible," Thor started to wave a hand.
"No! Not *now*," Jack breathed a sigh of relief when Thor dropped his hand back to his side. "Later. Sara and I together. For dinner."
"I could provide sustenance."
Jack grimaced. "No, really, Carter told me about your - food-and I thought it would be much more romantic if we brought our own. Taking take out further than it's ever been taken out before, as it were."
"I would be honored by your visit. I will prepare the ship."
"No need to do anything fancy on our account. A simple table, a couple of chairs, some soft lighting, a few flowers, and a room with a view-"
"I am able to provide all of those things, O'Neill."
"Good, then. Shall we say six o'clock? I'll give you a call."
"I shall look forward to seeing you then."
/----------\
At 4:30, Jack called her. "Sara, about dinner tonight -- "
"I understand," she answered glumly.
"Actually, I wasn't calling to cancel. This time. I just wanted to let you know that I've made ah, reservations for us to eat out," he grinned at the thought of how far out, "at someplace special, where we've never gone before."
"Someplace new?" Her tone brightened.
"Very new. Very different. Totally unique. It has absolutely the *best* view I've ever seen," he gushed.
"Sounds great. How should I dress?"
"Casual."
"Casual it is."
"See you at six."
/----------\
A few minutes before the appointed hour, Jack pulled his Ford pick-up into Sara's driveway. Carrying a bag with him, he went up the walk, knocked on the door, and stepped inside. "I'm here!" he shouted.
"Just a minute," she called from upstairs.
Tucking the bag of take-out under his arm, Jack stood at the foot of the stairs, one long crooked finger tapping out a rhythm on the scarred woodwork. He glanced impatiently at his watch. "Sara! We'll be late!"
"Okay, okay," she answered, starting down the stairs.
Sara looked lovely. She always looked lovely, he thought appreciatively. She'd let her thick, lush hair grow out and it hung down to her shoulders, accenting her long, slender neck. She wore a short-sleeved cashmere sweater of a soft buttery yellow, his favorite color; black, snug fitting jeans that showed off her long legs, and leather sandals with just a bit of a heel.
"You're staring," she accused, reaching the bottom step.
"Only in admiration." He leaned forward and kissed her.
She laughed, spinning 360 degrees. "So you like?"
"I more than like," he admitted, smiling.
Sara suddenly spied the Wok Away Chinese Restaurant food bag he held. "Take out? I thought we were eating out?" she frowned. "Not that I mind eating in but-"
"Oh, don't worry. We're eating out." He took her hand, eyes twinkling. "Just hold on tight and trust me."
"The last time I trusted you I got pregnant."
Still smiling, Jack looked up at the ceiling. "Now would be good, Thor."
"Thor?" Sara squeaked, just as the two of them were bathed in a glowing white light.
"Close your eyes," Jack ordered.
/--------------------\
Jack still had the firm grip on her hand when they-arrived. That was the only way she could describe it. One moment they'd been standing in her hallway and the next they were-somewhere different. The air tasted different, smelled different, and things felt-different. She had no other way to describe it.
"You can open your eyes now," Jack's voice floated out of the darkness.
She opened her eyes to a plain expanse of gunmetal gray wall. "Oh, this is exciting. Some view."
"You'll like this *much* better," Jack's hands were on her shoulders, encouraging her to turn slowly around.
Gray wall gave way to a huge picture window through which she could see an expanse of deep blue broken by swirling white over blocks of tan, brown and green. The whole view was backed by velvety blackness lit by tiny twinkling lights. Not lights, she suddenly realized, but stars. Those were stars and that was-"Oh my God. That's Earth. And we're- "
"On Thor's ship."
"Ship?" A touch of the slightly hysterical tone of the morning was back in her voice.
Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea after all, he thought, keeping his hands firmly on her shoulders.
She stepped forward, reaching out a hand to touch the invisible barrier that stood between them and space. "It really is real," she said in wonder.
"Indeed, it is," Thor entered, bowing to his guests. "Welcome aboard the 'Daniel Jackson'."
"The Daniel Jackson?" Sara asked, still staring out at the view, mesmerized.
"Guess they're working their way through their list of favorite humans," Jack explained. "I expect the 'Colonel Carter' will be next, maybe even the Murray."
Sara nodded, a smile growing on her face. "Jack, this is incredible. It's so beautiful, I don't know what to say. It's breathtaking. The Earth looks so bright and," she searched for the right words, "alone and fragile."
"Yes, it is." He smiled, "And I think you found all the right words."
"It's not just some fancy high-tech special effects hologram or something?"
"No, it's the real thing. Absolutely."
She turned then, away from the awe-inspiring view, to look around the plain interior of the ship. It was, she thought, very much like their host, naked and unadorned.
"This ship, it's-- " she tried to think of a nice way to describe it.
"Gray," Jack suggested, grinning. "I know, for such an advanced race, they don't have much of an eye for color. I've suggested Thor watch Martha Stewart, but I guess they don't get the prison channel in his galaxy."
"Minimalism is certainly in among the," she hesitated, "Asgaard?"
Thor nodded and blinked his huge brown eyes. "Your presence, Sara O'Neill, brings sufficient brightness and beauty."
Sara smiled self-consciously. "Okay, Jack, you didn't have to coach him."
"I did *not* coach him. But Thor, I did suggest furniture," Jack waved at the empty space. "Table? Chairs? It's hard to do the chopsticks thing while standing up."
"I have not forgotten, O'Neill. I simply wished to wait until you arrived."
Sara watched as Thor stepped over to stand before a console of some kind and began moving around several pale, pearlescent stones.
Light flashed and two metal and plastic chairs along with a small table bearing a blue tablecloth appeared before the window.
"Thor, where did you get those?" There was suspicion in Jack's voice.
"From the SGC commissary. I believe that would be a safe place from which to remove them."
Jack rolled his eyes. "I was thinking something more comfortable. The back, you know, the knees, the backside--"
Thor nodded, moving the stones around on the console, and the plain table and chairs disappeared. A moment later they were replaced by a heavy wooden table with an intricate inlaid top, and two high-backed chairs with gold cushions. "Is this more what you desire, O'Neill?"
"Perfect," he smiled, then frowned. "Where did you get them?"
"There is a castle in Ger-- "
"Thor, you can't just go borrowing things from places-"
"Do not worry, O'Neill. It is night, the castle is dark, and no one will notice, as long as the furniture is replaced before dawn."
"Okay, then," he conceded, and waved Sara toward the table, bowing slightly. "Your dinner, awaits, ma'am." He pulled out one of the heavy chairs, holding it for her while she seated herself.
He retrieved the bags of takeout from where he'd set them by the wall, placing them on the table and began removing cartons. Lastly, he pulled out a bottle of wine and two glasses.
She was charmed. "Thank you. Both of you," Sara looked from Jack to the little gray alien.
"I am pleased that you are pleased, Sara O'Neill," Thor stated, and stood, as if waiting for something.
"Ah, would you like to join us, Thor?" Jack offered politely, one hand held below the table waving a frantic no signal at the Asgaard.
Thor seemed to catch the hint. "Unfortunately, your food is not compatible with my physiology. And I would not wish to intrude on your time together."
"You wouldn't be intruding," Jack's hand was, even more desperately, waving a contrary message.
"Simply having the legendary O'Neill aboard my ship is a great honor."
"The legendary O'Neill?" Sara asked innocently.
"Indeed, Sara O'Neill, he is known to and revered by all among my race."
"Really?" She glanced across at Jack, who was glaring at Thor. "*Revered*? Jack?" She had one eyebrow raised in a quite good imitation of Teal'c at his most disingenuous.
"His skill and bravery have saved our race several times over," Thor explained.
Jack frowned. "I thought it was more like my dumb ideas."
Thor blinked. "Ideas that are less technologically sophisticated, true, but not dumb. O'Neill is a hero to the Asgaard people."
"Aw, now Thor, that's nice but really, I'm no hero. Really, I'm not." Jack was waving the hand again, hoping Thor would get the hint to cease and desist all this talk of heroics.
"You are too modest, O'Neill. Your courage in the submarine -"
"Was nothing much." Jack finished the sentence.
"Submarine?" Sara asked, surprised, knowing her flyboy ex-husband and current boyfriend (though the term boy just didn't fit with the gray hair, um, manfriend?, she thought) would hate the confines of a place so small.
"But it *was* much, O'Neill."
"It was *nothing*," Jack insisted. "Not even worth mentioning, not worth mentioning at all."
From the corner of her eye, Sara could see the frantic stop motions Jack was making at the alien. "I'd like to hear more about the submarine," she piped up, curious.
Thor nodded. "When the Replicators-"
"What are they?"
"Were they, *were*," Jack insisted. "They are no more."
"The Replicators were fearsome enemies, on the verge of defeating my people," Thor explained.
"Not fearsome at all," Jack contradicted, wearing a look Sara knew far too well, the believe-what-I'm-saying-because-you-don't-want-to-know-the-scary-truth look. "Nothing to worry about in the slightest."
"They were very much to be worried about. The Replicators threatened the entire galaxy," the little gray guy contradicted.
"The whole galaxy?" Sara was stunned.
"Until your people-" Thor started.
"Humans. The whole Air Force, actually," said Jack.
"It was in fact only you and your team, O'Neill, defeating the Replicators three times."
This was quite a story, Sara thought. "Three times?"
"First, when the creatures took over my ship, devouring it-"
"Replicators devour whole ships?" Sara looked around her with astonishment, and an inkling of fear.
Jack rolled his eyes. "Did. Once upon a time. But they're gone."
"Yes," Thor agreed, "they are now gone. Although, due to my own failures, they were once on Earth-"
"On Earth?" Sara's eyes were huge.
"They stowed away on Thor's ship and hijacked it. Until they un-stowed," Jack was once again waving frantic stop motions at the Asgaard.
Thor nodded, and went on, oblivious to or simply ignoring Jack's gestures, Sara couldn't decide which. "When my ship crashed into the ocean, several Replicators survived, and were able to get aboard an Earth vessel."
"A Russian sub actually," said Jack.
Sara looked over at him in confusion. "Then how did *you* get on a *Russian* sub?"
"Détente?" he suggested hopefully.
"Jaack-"
"It's a really long and boring story, very boring of no consequence whatsoever-" Sara could see that Jack was making a throat-cutting sign at the gray alien.
"You are wrong, O'Neill. It was of great consequence," Thor contradicted. "You should not make light of your contributions to the survival of life in this and other galaxies-"
Jack spread his hands in a peacemaking gesture. "Just not wanting to blow my own horn here, Thor."
"Saving the galaxy required no horn blowing," said the little alien.
Sara laughed.
"But it did require great courage, and very nearly the sacrifice of O'Neill's life," the Asgaard acknowledged.
Her smiled faded. "His life?"
"Indeed. He was aboard the submarine and ordered it destroyed, to stop the Replicators."
Sara, aghast, turned toward Jack.
He could only shrug, refusing to meet her gaze. "He's making it sound far too dramatic. Besides, as you can see, I'm fine. Thor rescued me."
"That is true. I was able to beam O'Neill and Teal'c from the doomed vessel just in time."
"That's for sure," said Jack quietly.
"Then?" Sara prompted.
"O'Neill was able to once again save the Asgaard, against great odds, by rescuing a vital scientific project."
Jack was staring at the floor. "The odds weren't so great, not really."
"And later, O'Neill led his team to Halle, where he confronted the new Replicators who had taken on the outward appearance of humans."
"Carter did all the work," he downplayed.
"You were nearly caught within the time-bubble," Thor reminded him. "You would have been trapped there forever, dealing with their anger. It was only your quick-thinking that provided a solution."
"Oh, now, it wasn't nearly so close as it seemed. Not really. And their anger wouldn't have been all that much--"
"And then, O'Neill, just a few weeks ago, you led the battle against an even more advanced new type of Replicator-"
"New Replicators?" Sara asked, soaking in all the information about the things Jack had been doing.
The little gray guy nodded. "The Replicators were our most fearsome enemies because they devoured and adapted technology, advancing the knowledge of their race at an alarmingly swift rate. We were unable to cope with the new advanced variation."
Jack had an imploring gaze fixed on Sara. "It wasn't me doing any of that. Not really. I didn't even leave Earth. We just got lucky and found the right weapon."
"You were able to hold off the Replicator's onslaught until the weapon you procured could be brought to bear. Do not downplay your contributions, O'Neill. The Asgaard do not."
Sara was staring from one to the other of them. "Jack, I think you've been holding out on me," she said at last.
"He's exaggerating," Jack insisted.
"I do not exaggerate," Thor defended.
"Yes, you do," Jack repeated, rolling his eyes and tilting his head toward Sara. "And besides, we're boring Sara with all this shop talk-"
"I'm not bored," she piped up quickly. "I'm actually finding all of this *very* fascinating."
"No, it's not fascinating. Not at all, no," Jack disagreed.
"Why don't you want me to know what you do?" she asked.
"Because, well, because I don't." He looked away.
She stared at him, waiting for more. She could see that her continued unwavering scrutiny was making him nervous. He was starting to squirm in fact.
"Sara-"
"Jaaack."
He was trying his best to look totally innocent, and failing. "Look, all of this stuff, it's top secret. Extremely top secret. It's so far above regular top secret that it's stratospheric. I could get in big trouble."
"I know," she answered. "But you *did* bring me here."
"Because you already knew about Thor, by *his* actions."
"Which means you can't get into trouble for something Thor does," she summed up.
"Right. Exactly," he smiled with relief.
"Then what Thor tells me about what you do-"
"No. No way. That's off limits. Thor, if you keep telling her things, so help me, I'll, I'll-" Jack was making little strangling motions with his hands.
"O'Neill, as your bond partner-"
"His bond-partner?" Sara interrupted.
"You are living in his home, are you not?"
"No."
"But this morning? I do not understand," Thor turned to O'Neill for clarification.
"She visits," Jack explained.
"You do not perform the rituals of bonding?" the little alien asked.
Jack raised a questioning eyebrow. "What rituals of bonding?" Suddenly, his hands were in the air, waving frantically in front of him. "Wait, no, don't answer that."
"Thor," Sara knelt down to be eye to eye with the small alien. "If you mean that Jack and I sleep together, which is a human euphemism for being intimate, giving and receiving sexual pleasure, then yes, we do carry out those rituals," she grinned at the word. "But if this bonding means that we're married or formally attached in any way, then no. We're not. Not anymore."
Thor nodded. "Do you not wish to be bonded?"
Sara gulped. "We haven't really talked about it. Usually, humans marry for the purpose of creating a household to raise children. But since we cannot," she paused and shrugged. "As adults, we can simply enjoy each other's company, as often as we want, but we are not required to make a commitment."
"We're committed," Jack interjected. "Well, I'm committed. Just her, no one else," he told Thor. "That's commitment."
"And you?" Thor asked Sara.
She smiled, eyes twinkling. "Well, he *is* legendary. It's pretty hard to top that." Sara turned to a grinning Jack. "And no smirking, flyboy. I'm not buying you a bigger sized hat."
"Yes, Ma'am."
"Then you should be bonded. It *is* allowed, among the Asgaard, for a Supreme Commander, aboard his ship, to preside over the bonding ceremony," Thor offered.
"Like here, and now?" Jack's eyes were wide.
"Yes, O'Neill, here and now."
Sara turned back to Jack, suspicion in her eyes. "Did you put him up to this?"
"Honest, no, I didn't. Tell her." Jack appealed to Thor.
"He did not," the little gray alien verified. "But I would be honored to preside over the bonding of O'Neill and- O'Neill."
"And I would be honored to be bonded," Jack countered. Sara saw the moment he realized the meaning of what he'd just said, saw him gulp and turn a desperate glance back to her.
"If you want to." He was trying to sound offhand, and failing.
"Well, it would be the most unique wedding ceremony in human history," she noted.
"Not that we could ever tell anyone," he reminded her.
"But we'd know." She looked down at her clothes. "I'm not exactly dressed for a wedding-"
"A bonding, not a wedding. Who knows what clothes might be appropriate. And anyway, I have a feeling that the Asgaard don't worry much about what the bride wears- "
"Jack, so help me, I'm *not* doing this naked," Sara declared.
"Not this. Me, neither," Jack agreed, thinking of certain other post-wedding activities that indeed pretty much required naked.
"Clothing is allowable," Thor noted.
"Ah, good then. But we don't have rings," Jack suddenly realized.
"Are you trying to weasel out of this?" Sara asked skeptically.
"I'm not weaseling." He insisted. "Not at all. I'm just pointing out things, important things--"
"First the clothes, then the rings-"
"Rings will be provided," piped up Thor. Suddenly a beam of light appeared, and several small gold bands appeared on the ship's console.
Jack drew a deep breath. "Thor, you didn't. Look, buddy, I appreciate your wanting to help us out here, but you can't just take things like that, expensive things. There could be trouble-- "
"I did not take them from anyone who would miss them."
"No one's going to miss gold wedding rings?"
Sara had stepped over to pick up the small items. Jack realized she had an odd look on her face as she walked back toward him and dropped the larger ring into his palm. "They look familiar," she said softly.
Jack peered down at the ring, recognizing the dents and small nicks that marred the surface. "Thor, where-"
"That one, O'Neill, I retrieved from a small container in your bedroom closet. The other," Thor pointed at the one Sara held, "was found in a more ornate container in Sara O'Neill's bedroom."
"You kept it?" she asked, looking at Jack, surprised.
He nodded. "Just-well, it didn't seem right to get rid of it. It was expensive," he added lamely.
"Right."
"Do we now have all that is needed?" Thor asked.
Jack took stock. "Bride, groom, clothes, rings, guess that's it."
"Then we may begin," said the little gray alien. "It is customary to hold hands during the bonding, if you so wish."
Self-consciously, Jack took hold of Sara's hand, clasping his long fingers around her much shorter ones.
Thor started. "In the-"
"This isn't going to take an hour, is it, buddy? Because the food's getting cold and it's getting late and I've got things--"
"Jack," Sara swatted him on the shoulder.
"No, O'Neill, the Asgaard bonding ceremony is brief and to the point."
Jack still wondered what point there might be for an Asgaard bonding, since their cloned bodies seemed to be pretty much 'it' rather than boy-girl, but wisely said nothing. "Get on with it, then."
"In the circle of time, beings come together for companionship and friendship, and for those who are blessed, an eternal bond that is deeper than the flesh, and links the souls, one to another. General O'Neill and Sara O'Neill have expressed their wish to be bonded. As Supreme Commander of the Asgaard Fleet, I, Thor, am honored to witness and acknowledge their bonding." The Asgaard stopped, and blinked. "You may now wear your rings."
"That's it?" Sara asked.
"That's it," Jack muttered, with relief. "Can I kiss the bride now?" he asked Thor.
"You'd better," Sara whispered.
Jack wrapped his arms around Sara and as his lips touched hers, a bright glow surrounded them.
/--------------------\
A moment later, Sara staggered backward. "That was some kiss," she said with a smile.
They were back in Jack's house, in the bedroom. All thoughts of supper, Chinese or otherwise, were completely gone from his head. He kissed her again, letting the kisses trail down her neck as she sighed with pleasure. Easing her back toward the bed, O'Neill rolled his eyes skyward. "Thor, so help me, don't you dare show up now-"
/----------x-----The End-----x----------\