Title: Can't Or Won't?

Author: Badgergater

Season: 6

Episode: Sight Unseen

Spoilers: Sight Unseen, Ascension

Category: Angst, thoughts; Missing scene, Sight Unseen

Summary: Jack just wants to go fishing

Pairing: None

Warnings: Sad; kleenex may be needed

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: They ain't mine... I'd do better by Jack if they were. I acknowledge the ownership of MGM, Gekko, Double Secret, SciFi (bless their hearts for season 6 and 7) yadda yadda yadda.

Author's note: Thanks to Jude for the encouragement on this one.

------------------------

Can't or won't?

Two words, only four letters each, half of them exactly the same. But what a world of difference those two tiny letters made.

There was a huge chasm between the two.

Can't, she said.

Won't, he heard.

It was just fishing. That was all he wanted, someone to go fishing with him.

Was it too much to ask of the people who were supposed to be his friends?

He wanted someone to go fishing with him, eat dinner with him even if they had to go to town and *buy* fish to grill, to hike through the woods with him, and to sit on the porch and watch the sunset with him.

Friendship.

That was all he was after.

They were his teammates.

Guess he'd presumed too far, believing they were his friends, too.

^^^^^^^^^

When Daniel came back from Abydos, when he had no home or apartment, no place to go, Jack had offered him the hospitality of his home. He'd taken him home like a lost pup, putting him up in his guest room while Daniel figured out how to re-invent his life.

It was the kind of thing a friend did, helping out until a guy found a place of his own.

But Daniel had never gone fishing with him. He'd said he wanted to, when he had his appendix out, but then, after, he'd always found an excuse. Never enough time. Too much to do.

Can't go, he said.

Won't go, Jack heard.

^^^^^^^

When Carter was in trouble over that Orlon alien guy and people thought she was nuts, he'd brought Teal'c and pizza and a movie to her house. He'd been worried about her. It was what a friend did, showing up at your door when things weren't going well, making sure you weren't alone.

He'd done it because it was the kind of thing he'd have done for any of his teammates over the years. And if, in fact, she didn't need his help right then, well, he'd still made the offer.

Just like he'd covered for her, telling Simmons and Hammond that he'd ordered her to get more info on the alien, deflected their anger from her, hell, might have saved her career, for cryin' out loud.

He'd befriended Teal'c, too. Introduced him to the staples of American culture, like western movies and I Love Lucy and the Simpson's and the wonders of hockey. Listened to Jaffa jokes. Taken him to watch Jello wrestling, and boy, was *that* a test of friendship.

Hell, he'd taken Jonas to a grocery store, for heaven's sake, and stood around trying not to be embarrassed while the alien had ogled the vegetable section and drooled in the cereal aisle. He didn't even want to think about the fruit display. Geez, he figured he'd *never* be able to go back in that store.

Bottom line was, he'd treated them all like friends.

And Teal'c had been the only one who'd ever been willing to go fishing with him. Once. And made it plain he'd hated it.

When he asked them to go with him, they all had other things to do, other things suddenly more important.

Can't, they told him.

Won't, he heard.

^^^^^^^

So outwardly, Jack had shrugged it off, took it as a joke, walked away with a glib sarcastic remark, like it didn't hurt.

He'd gotten damn good at hiding the hurt over the years.

Maybe too damn good.

Didn't any of them understand it wasn't about fishing, it was about friendship? About loneliness. About the need for every human being to reach out and make contact with another, to feel included and needed and welcome and valued.

^^^^^^^

The elevator hadn't reached the security level yet.

Maybe he should turn around and ask the other guys in the elevator if he had bad breath or body odor or had committed some other unpardonable social faux pas.

Hell, maybe he just ought to ask one of them to go fishing with him. Complete strangers, but shit, the odds were better that they'd take him up on the invite than his own teammates.

Who were supposed to be his friends.

^^^^^^^

Was fishing that out of favor these days? So politically incorrect? Had they passed a law making it illegal and no one had bothered to tell him?

He *liked* to fish, he *liked* to spend time up at the cabin.

Was that so odd?

Day after day, he risked life and limb and sanity for the sake of his country and his world, not to mention half the galaxy, and when he finally got a couple of days off he couldn't even find someone to go fishing with him.

Hell, Sara would have gone with him, like she had so many times. And she could outfish him any day.

And Charlie...

Charlie had loved fishing.

So, yeah, Charlie would be 16 by now and probably think fishing and his old man were boring.

Jack swallowed the lump in his throat, silently cursing himself for getting maudlin over a fishing trip. But damn it, he'd give anything to have the opportunity to hear his son call him a boring old fart.

^^^^^^^

Think about something else, Jack.

Can't, or won't?

She had leave, just like he did.

She could choose to use that leave, and actually leave. Go anywhere she wanted. Regardless of what she'd said, she *could* go fishing with him, if she wanted to.

But she chose her lab over his cabin.

Chose a science project over him.

Again.

There'd been a time when he'd thought something more could grow between them, someday in the future, if they lived through this insane assignment.

But she'd made her choices, loud and clear.

She'd always care more about alien doohickies than she would ever care about him.

^^^^^^^

Can't or won't?

Didn't matter.

She'd chosen.

And the answer wasn't him.

*****FINISH*****