| Now I'll be the first to admit that this biographical perspective is necessarily a little dated and we can only assume that Ramsey has experienced much personal growth (i.e. growth of his person) in the years that he has been incommunicado (about 35 pounds of growth as I'm told). Nonetheless, I'm going to do my best to paint for you a picture of Ramsey Hinkle in his finest moments at Bingotron. I'll always remember the Ram who would wake up and drink (yes, I do mean drink) yogurt, allowing the acidophilous to do its work on morning breath. I remember his efficiency eating habits: no time for spreading? well shove a piece of buttery toast in your maw, open a little jelly packet, squeeze into mouth, chew (optional) and swallow. I remember that it was Ram who first taught Zach, Fish and myself never to let food defeat us and I remember when he tasted defeat in the form of a soufflee cup of red pepper seeds. Yeah he won 15 dollars but his screms of pain echoing from the bathroom were well worth it. Ram himself admits that his stomach has never been the same since. What else can I say about Ram? Well, he's scarred me for life in that I can never write a philosophy paper without thinking of his not-overly-generous characterization of my style, I think non-comittal is what they call it. But he was right and maybe that's the surprising thing about Ram. No matter how much you want to think he's talking straight out of his ass you'd be surprised how often he's on to something. Maybe it's that perspicacity that caused him to get the fuck out in the first place because the rest of us sure as shit didn't. |
