POSTED ON TMB:
Christmas time has always been the hardest time of year for me (emotionally). I have seasonal depression (SAD), so I don't cope well with the cold weather, lack of sunlight, and excessive rain. Also, I don't do well in crowds of people. These 2 things put together make it difficult for me during Christmas. Going to Louisiana to visit relatives at this time of year ALWAYS turns out to be a disaster. In fact, the 1st time my sister-in-law (Tricia) went with us to Lousiana for Christmas, she told herself (and me later) that there was something seriously wrong with me! I turn into a completely different person when we are there (basically, a BITCH). She was used to the sweet, happy-go-lucky Mickey who tried to please everyone and doesn't like to hurt anyone's feelings :-) Throughout the years, when we drive together, she can see the transformation take over me as we are driving to and from La. It is like, when we cross the state line to La., this evil person takes over my body, and when we cross over the state line back to TX, the normal Mickey takes my body back. Last year, I wasn't quite so bad b/c I worked VERY HARD to keep that from happening, but ineveitably, something happened to ruin things for me :'( This year, I'm going to try even HARDER and not let ANYTHING ruin it for me! I think that my newfound self-confidence will play a big role in helping this happen :-D
I was never one to eat a lot at this time simply b/c I was sooooo self-concious about others seeing me eat. I wanted to prove everyone wrong about me being overweight b/c I eat so much junk food. I wanted to pass off this lie that I only ate healthy foods, so that I could act like I didn't know why I was so overweight. However, I did do a lot of sneaking around to eat food. This is something I've always done, and still do sometimes. It is something that I'm working on. I've always felt like I would get "caught" eating and get in trouble or at least lectured about my weight (b/c I often was at my home).
Now, I sneak around b/c I don't want people to question every piece of food I put in my mouth and tell me that I shouldn't be eating it b/c I had this surgery. Does anyone else have this problem?
Curious Mickey Diva
24 yo, 5'2"
229/166/120 |
